NATALIE SCATORCCIO HAD ALWAYS BEEN PRESENT IN YOUR LIFE.
she wasn’t demanding, or a presence you second guessed, it was like her presence settled into your bones, as if she is the constant static buzzing in the background of your life, something you don’t realize until it’s gone.
before the crash going to nationals, she was the person who sat next to you on bus rides and stole your headphones with a smirk, the girl who locked your arm with hers during practice and listened when you complained.
after the crash, she had become the person you walked beside without second guessing, the one you share food with even when the ache in your stomach is tearing you apart, the one who still makes dumb jokes during the wrong moments to see you crack a smile.
you’re best friends, that’s what everyone knows you as.
you have acknowledged your best friends status too. always making it a point to bring up, as if the amount of times you say it will make it more true than it already is.
you don’t think about when night comes, when the cabin is pitch black and the exhausted snores fill the room, your thoughts then don’t feel very best friend material at all. —READ MORE!
they’re on dangerous territory.
you grew up in a family where faith had no choice but to absorb you fully. a lifestyle where you give it your all, and don’t question it.
it didn’t feel gruelling or terrible, per se, laura lee’s certainty in her faith inspired you, it made you feel like you weren’t falling, at times it felt like hiding, you were simply floating in space.
you learned from a very young age to hide parts of yourself away, to appease your parents, the church, to pray when your grateful, upset, angry, how to never question anything in gods name.
and there’s natalie.
the way she looks at you with a warm glint in her gaze, the way her fingers brush yours when she hands over something, the way your heart beats faster when she smiles at you when she’s relieved you’re okay, the way she brings out the side of you that you had hidden away your entire life.
you had been pushing it down. praying it away. telling yourself it’s just isolation, just fear and survival instincts taking over.
and the brainwash continues for a while, until shauna mentions one evening while everyone’s by the fire, chatter in the background.
“funny how a crash can suddenly spark romances,” she jokes, looking between you and natalie without even realizing. “i never second guessed it before, but when we’re all here, god, it’s so obvious.”
your heart falls to your stomach.
you laugh at her joke, as if it had no effect on you, but the words replay in your head over and over, and you try to wash them away with quiet prayers and laura lee’s endless background noise about faith and dedication to god.
so you do the only thing that makes sense, you distance yourself.
not enough to the point that anyone thinks somethings up, you sit farther away from natalie, you stop running to her after her hunts, and when she tries talking to you, you find excuses to exit the area.
but of course, natalie notices.
she notices everything about you.
by the third day of your ‘ignoring natalie agenda’, she finds you outside the cabin while the others are inside, she walks up to you with an eagerness that makes you shut your eyes in drought, the hurt in her eyes are practically oozing out.
“okay,” she snaps with a frown, crossing her arms in front of her. “what’s up with you?”
you blink at her, feigning the innocent act you have been channeling the past few days. “uh…nothing?”
“that’s bullshit.”
you gasp as if you’re about to rebuttal, yet you find yourself closing your mouth. your heart is racing at this point and the guilt is clawing at your chest.
“i… i didn’t do anything,” you protest weakly, looking at anywhere but her face.
“yeah well, that’s kinda the problem,” natalie replies, looking deep into your eyes, and somehow it feels like she’s reaching for your soul, your deepest secrets. “you won’t even look at me.”
you stare at the ground below your feet, your hands feel numb from the shock that floods over your body.
“i shouldn’t,” you whisper to yourself, clenching your eyes shut.
she frowns at your nervousness. “shouldn’t what?”
you can’t speak, the lump in your throat makes the words feel too hard to speak, too impure, so wrong, as saying them out loud might ruin you for the rest of your life.
“i shouldn’t feel like this,” you shout, voice cracking in anger. “it’s just not right.”
natalie’s expression softens in realization and she takes a step closer, still hesitant, as if she’ll break you if she takes the wrong step.
“hey, it’s okay,” she offers the comfort in her voice quietly. “what are you talking about?”
you shake your head in denial, your breath coming out frantically. “i don’t know, nat. i just, i’m not supposed to feel this way. i’m not like that. i can’t be. i won’t be.”
“why?” natalie asks, softly as if she doesn’t want to startle you but still pushing you out of your limits.
you let out a laugh in disbelief. “you seriously don’t get it?”
she reaches for your hand before you can even think to pull it away, and you instantly notice that her touch is warm, as if you’re sitting in front of a fireplace on a snowy day, it’s grounding, it calms you, and that makes it worse.
“look at me, there is nothing wrong with you,” natalie reassures, looking at you with the most wanting gaze you’ve seen.
you pull your hand back, terrified as your panic grows larger. “no, nat—you don’t understand.”
“then help me,” she counters. “because from what i’m hearing, you’re punishing yourself for something that doesn’t hurt anyone in any way.”
the tears you’re holding back sting in your eyes.
“what about tai and van?” natalie questions with a pointed look. “do you think there’s something wrong with them?”
you immediately reply without a second thought. “no— goodness no, i would never—“
“then why is it so different for you?”
the question hangs between you two, your shoulders drop as if you had been beaten in an argument, and your breath stutters as the tears finally spill over your flushed cheeks.
“i’m scared,” you admit in a cry. “i’ve spent my whole life being told that wanting the wrong thing, that wanting this means somethings wrong with you, and that if you pray hard enough for god’s forgiveness, you can fix it.”
natalie’s jaw tightens at your confession, not with anger or madness, but with a protectiveness.
“you don’t need fixing,” she whispers into the air. “you’re allowed to want things, even if it’s not…” her voice break as she continues, “you’re allowed to love people.”
she lets her hand fall to her side, giving you the space you had been so eager for, and that almost hurts you more than the realization did.
“i didn’t say anything all this time,” she continues, voice calmer now, as if she’s accepting whatever she thinks is going to happen next.
“because i didn’t want to push you, or scare you. but yeah… i feel it with you too. so much, it takes over everything in my brain, my body, everything.” she emphasizes.
you look up at her in awe.
“you… you do?”
natalie exhales a breath, a shaky smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “took you long enough to notice.”
your heart pounds against your chest and reality feels as though it had slowed down, and stopped in this moment.
“i really don’t want to ruin this,” you whisper.
natalie steps closer again, her body almost brushing yours at this point. “you won’t. not if we finally stop lying to ourselves.”
she leans in and presses a soft kiss to your cheek, her lips feel soft, and warm, and so right.
you freeze, and it feels as if everything in the world makes sense.
you exhale, the tightness leaving your body.
you surprisingly reach for her hand this time, your fingers intertwining together, letting your body fall into the warmth of her palm, and natalie looks hopeful.
and before you can talk yourself out of it, or let the useless doubt fill your head, you tug her closer by the neck and place your lips on hers.
fireworks go off in your body, it’s gentle and nervous and unmistakably messy, your teeth clash at one point, but neither of you care.
natalie’s breath catches, and her hands come up to your cheeks, thumbs brushing your jaw like she’s afraid this moment isn’t real, like she’s memorizing this for the rest of her life.
when you pull back, you’re both wearing pathetic, in love smiles.
“i’m still getting used to this,” you admit as your fingers caress her lips. “but i don’t want to run from you anymore. i can’t.”
natalie rests her forehead on yours as her smile grows wider. “good. because i don’t want to watch you from afar anymore either.”
for the first time since the crash, since before it too, you feel right, you feel like yourself.
✧ 𝑓. nat my beloved <3 i love sophie thatcher so much omfomfof (also if u were wondering yes i am bi idk why i never mentioned it 😭) and omg everyone plz pray that i get into my dream university bc i didn’t get my acceptance yet i’m so scared i want that dorm life 💔💔 anyways PLEASE feel free to send yellowjackets requests bc i love everyone and everybody… maybe not shauna tho… but i’m willing to suck it up ☺️🫰 also i wanted to write a psa that i have nothing against religion or anything, i have a very religious family so i just wrote about my own feelings to some extent <3 !
𓂃ㅤ 𝓉𝖺𝗀𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 ୨୧ @lcvealwayss @viennasolace @love4madii @keilahhhsstuff ♡ thank you so much for joining !
YOU ARE THE LIGHT IN THE PAINTING | YELLOWJACKETS COLLEGE SMAU
pairing: natalie scatorccio x female reader
content warning: swearing, occasional smoking and alcohol drinking, possible drug usage. all characters are 18+
a/n: this is a modern no plane crash au where natalie is a rockstar and yellowjackets were never a soccer team and are just friends
synopsis: you only ended up at the sticky-floored underground club because a good friend of yours talked your ears off about the drummer she was totally in love with, and it just happened that the guitarist from the same band is a friend of hers. three rows back from the stage, you spend your whole night watching natalie scatorecio and catching her gaze on you more than five times
chapters: one / two / three / four / five / six / seven
Y/n and Mari are friends. Sort of. They hang out sometimes, but they’ll never admit they actually like being together alone. At least not yet.
May 18th, 1997.
“Oh, come on, Shauna!” Nat yells. “Jackie, you're letting her cheat!” She complains. Jackie only laughs, but Mari slams the phone down. It’s a few hours after practice. They were going to meet back up to hangout.
Y/n gives her a look. “What’s that face for?” She murmurs quietly.
Mari huffs, a sharp smirk on her lips, “nothing— nothin’ to worry about, L/n..” she shrugs, and leans back against the wall beside her landline.
She glances at it. “Shauna, Jackie, Lottie and Nat are already playing cards. You know I hate cards.” She mumbles, and Y/n tilts her head.
“So… we’re not going to Jackie’s hangout, or..?”
Mari lights up, “wait, please? Can we just stay in tonight? I really don’t want to have to see Shauna’s ass cheat in slap jack by hoarding all of them in her pile.” She says, grumbling
Y/n snorts, “jeez, you really hate Shauna when it comes to cards.” She relents, resting back on her hands on the carpet of Mari’s room. “Ugh.. fine. I guess we can hangout, just us..” she feigns annoyance, but cracks a smile. “What are we going to do then?”
Mari smiles, her shoulders relaxing— “Oh thank god,” she practically hugs Y/n— but she quickly wipes it away and folds her arms. “Tch. Like I actually want to spend time with you on purpose,” she rolls her eyes. “I just hate the cards.” She then pushes off the wall.
“But uh.. I was thinking.. movie and fast food?” She asks, a slightly nervous smile on her face, as if she’s expecting Y/n to refuse. Y/n almost laughs.
“Of course.” She stands up, dusting off her jeans. Mari looks elated.
“Yes! Oh, god, I could kiss you right now.” She grins, simply at the thought of getting a cheeseburger and that damn slurpee from the gas station. “My mom never lets me get food out unless my friends are over.” She admits, smiling as they head downstairs to her car.
“Really?” Y/n asks, “but she seems like she wouldn’t mind.”
Mari shrugs, sliding into the passenger seat of her car, turning the engine on. “She doesn’t— not really. She just doesn’t like me eating other food when she cooks dinner ‘cause I never eat any.”
Y/n giggles. “Oh.. yeah, my mom is like that too.” She settles into the passenger seat, watching out the window as the car tools down the road. “Where are we getting food from?”
Mari sheepishly smirks, “guess.”
Y/n rolls her eyes, fondly. “You’re going to have a stroke from the amount of slurpees you have, Mari..”
Mari whines, “they’re good!”
Y/n chuckles. They pull into the parking lot and grab some food. After they eat, Mari heads back to her room, dragging Hazel to pick out a movie.
“Come on, I have a shit ton of tapes.” She tugs a box out from underneath her bed, loaded with VHS tapes. “Take your pick, girl.” Mari says with sarcasm, clearly proud of her collection. Y/n snorts.
“What the hell, Mari, you watch ‘Sixteen Candles?’ I thought you hated 80’s movies—”
“—Ay! Hey! Hey, okay, not that!” Mari snatches it. “You weren’t supposed to see that.” She eyes the box, then snatches two other movies. “Or these.” She sheepishly stuffs them behind her. Y/n grins, reaching for them.
“Let me see! Let me see! Come on, Mar!” She laughs. Mari reluctantly shows them.
“The Breakfast Club” and “Pretty In Pink.” Y/n starts giggling. “Oh, my god. What are you, a brat pack nerd?”
“No!” Mari says defensively, frowning as Y/n stands up with a movie picked out.
She folds her arms, kicking the box back beneath her bed, eyeing Y/n. “…What movie is it?” She asks, curiously.
“The Breakfast Club. Duh.” Y/n replies, as if it should be obvious. Mari tries to fight a grin.
“Whatever.” She scoffs, but she can’t hide the slight smile.
After the movie had finished, it was late. Nearly midnight, because they ended up watching almost every brat pack movie Mari owned. She stretches, leaning against her doorway. “Why don’t you just stay the night?” She yawns, rubbing her eyes.
Y/n’s eyes go wide, “really?”
Mari nods, “Uh-huh.. it’s late anyway.” She shrugs, and gestures to the floor. “I can get you blankets, er.. whatever. If you don’t want to share the bed.” She says, typically blunt.
Y/n shakes her head, “Uh. No, whatever works for you is— is fine.” She nods.
Mari smiles slightly, “then get in bed, loser. I’m going to shower.” She stretches up, heading for the bathroom. Y/n swallows, her eyes darting to Mari’s bed. “Get in bed, loser.” That was kind of nice? It felt nice to hear, at least.
Mari turns back around, “oh, yeah. I almost forgot.” She walks back in, looking her up and down. She tugs her drawers open and pulls out a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. “Here. These should fit you fine.” She tosses them at Y/n. She catches them, trying not to blush.
“Alright. Thanks.”
While Mari is busy in the shower, Y/n changes into Mari’s clothes. They’re surprisingly comfortable and they smell nice— like her. It was a sweet smell, like sugar and the shea butter lotion she used all the time— but surprisingly not overwhelming.
Y/n lays down underneath the covers, settling in the bed. It was a twin bed, so she wasn’t sure how Mari expected them both to fit without Y/n getting shoved off— but she wasn’t going to question it. She came back from the bathroom eventually, hair half damp. She smiles slightly at Y/n.
“Comfy?” She asks, shutting off the light.
Y/n makes room for her, settling on her side to face Mari. She nods. Mari lifts the blankets, lying down beside her. She stretches a little, her body still warm and soft from the shower. She wore a loose black t-shirt and some grey sweatpants. Sinking into the mattress, she looks at her for a moment.
Then, she gives her that teasing look, her typical sharp smirk. “Why are you so pressed to the wall? Come here, scaredy cat.” She opens her arms.
Y/n’s eyes widen. Is this actually happening? Well shit, it’s actually happening. With first hesitation, she shifts closer. Once she was in Mari’s arms, the girl relaxed against her chest. Mari smirks at Y/n, patting her head since she was shorter, a small gesture of teasing.
“Now go to sleep, I got ‘ya.”
Y/n buries her face against her shoulder.
As for sleeping? Yeah, they did. And it was pretty damn comfortable.
