The Nonsense Thing in Diamond’s Head Today 22: I Need to Talk About the Yodeler Trolls
Hey all! Diamond here. Yep, we’re doing this again!
So in case you haven't realized it, I like to ramble about shit I feel strongly about. I'm still getting likes on the post I made roughly a year ago about Lou from UglyDolls being a sympathetic villain, and I thank y'all for that. But now I have another thing I need to talk about. I watched Trolls World Tour the night it dropped digitally and it's shaping up to be my favorite movie of the year (not like I have many other choices at the moment). They're cute, pastel-colored hug addicts that cover all your favorite genres of music! What's not to love? Specifically, however, I need to talk about two specific Trolls from World Tour, and while they were two of my favorites, there's just something... a bit off. Your final SPOILER WARNING is going into effect now:
Here we have Hickory and Dickory, the Yodeler Trolls. They're bounty hunter brothers voiced by Sam Rockwell and Flula Borg that manage to snatch the Pop String from Poppy and give it to Queen Barb to complete the six strings. They are slick and sneaky, rumored to be the most talented of the hunters. (This is an observation for another day: how bad was/is non-Bergen crime in Troll Land that there is a minimum of FOUR DISTINCT SETS of bounty hunters?!) So how do the Yodelers get their hands on the Pop String? They disguise themselves as one Country Troll and cozy up to Poppy and Branch, leaving them suspecting nothing. (It's worth noting that Hickory does feel guilty about their actions once they are busted, and they are seen living in harmony with the rest of the Troll tribes at the end of the movie.) Besides being clever, they’re just fun characters that I wish got explored a bit more, especially Dickory.
So... about that disguise. Country Trolls are essentially centaurs. They've got the head and torso of a traditional Troll with the legs and tail of a horse. When you slap a cowboy hat and western accent onto Hickory, he makes a convincing Country Troll... well, the *front* of a country troll. The tail end? That's where Dickory hides. His ponytail acts as the disguise's tail.
Think about that arrangement for a second. In order for the tail to look like it's coming out of Country Hickory's flank, Dickory's face is... okay, there's not really a cleaner way to put this. Dickory's face is making contact with Hickory's butt. I'm sorry, but it's true. Poppy indirectly asks about it herself upon the reveal (only for Dickory to immediately ask to change the subject).
Look, y'all, there are some weirdly adult moments in this film, and I don't mean the discussions around colonization and appropriation (which I thought were excellently approached, by the way). Less than five minutes into the film and King Trollex is making the crowd and Beat Drop Button make interesting faces when he finally stops delaying the payoff and drops the beat. And did you catch the face and giggle Pennywhistle made when one of the Classical cherubs first, uh, played her? But this right here may be the most adult. My big question: The HELL is going on under those overalls?! If you've been on the internet for a long time, I'm sure you understand where I'm going here. Even if Hickory had the lederhosen on under the overalls, the possibility is still there. And surely the breathing situation with leather would be harder than, say, a cloth face mask (which y’all should still be wearing, by the way!). The Yodelers just went from 0 to 100 really fast.
Now, I may not be writing this post if the Yodelers were just allies of some sort - friends, coworkers, maybe lovers. A situation like that makes for prime shipping fodder, even without the underlying implications. But these two are BROTHERS. It's never explicitly stated in the movie, but Dickory's bio on the official Trolls World Tour Dreamworks website directly states that the moviemakers wanted "yodeling brothers". And with that knowledge, this is just... NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO THAT'S FUCKING NASTY. THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT I AM SHIPPING THIS. I ALREADY PUT UP WITH ENOUGH OF THIS FILTH IN THE WORLD OF POKEMON SWORD AND SHIELD FANFICTION. I might not even be writing this if Poppy hadn’t directly asked if Dickory had “been in back the whole time”. So there’s at least some awareness there.
Am I thinking about a kids’ movie way too hard again? You bet your butts I am! Now go wash your hands or something so we stop this virus from progressing further.