Strong Pheromones [7] Worse than pain
Ω — pairing: Jungkook x reader Ω — genre: aboverse!au, smut, dom!jk x sub!reader, alpha!jungkook, female reader, fluff, spy!reader, CEO! Jungkook Ω — words: 1.9k Ω — rating: +18 M Ω — warnings: some blood, emotional manipulation within a nightmare context, grief, nightmares Ω — notes: I am sooo behind the schedule. I fear I just ended up listening to arirang at least thrice a day... Whose country is not on the list for the tour, and who doesn't even have money even if it was?....... yeh life goes on
You Jung siblings have been working as spies for as long as you could remember. All was going well, until on your 100th mission, you accidentally encounter the path of the strongest alpha you ever met, Jeon Jungkook.
| Teaser | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | ...
"So to sum up--"
I was prepared for a scolding, hitting even... everything but this. I'd much rather have a pissed off Suga than this too calm one. If there was something I knew about him, it was the fact that he rarely got mad.
And this right here?
An Alpha.
The only Alpha I've ever placed in high respect.
Even with my eyes glued to the floor, I could feel his eyes burning through my skull, as if dissecting my every being and soul.
For as long as I can remember, Suga has been there for the two of us—especially me since I joined a bit later than my brother. He didn't talk much, but he was caring and attentive even to little details. And even when he manifested as an Alpha, my view of him didn't change. Quite the opposite, I liked knowing he was different from all those typical self-centered Alphas. The only time I've ever seen him angry and act like a real Alpha was the day I nearly died on that mission and met Jin.
The moment I appeared with all those bandages and blood on my clothes, I saw the way his posture tensed. If not for Hobi and I who stopped him, he'd have ravaged the entire basement (he nearly killed Jin, thinking he was the one who had put me in that state—and the latter who got scared of him, made sure to never be in his bad side ever since). All in all, I felt warm at his kindness. He was like a second family to me.
But now said family is standing in front of me, arms crossed and expression unreadable, making shivers go up my spine.
I'd rather have him get all full Alpha mode and destroy something. Anything.
"--you dragged an innocent in a mission that you decided yourself to take part in, infiltrated the Jeons and almost got your cover exposed." The sigh that left his lips told more than his words.
"My cover didn't get exposed... Nobody knew us..." My lips formed a small pout when I dared to look up—just to see Suga unimpressed (and probably disappointed at me).
After a long silence, he took a seat on the sofa next to me. "What's happening, SJ? This is not like you..."
I blinked in confusion, eyebrows furrowing. But then no sound escaped my mouth when I opened it. Looking at his eyes, I found them already staring at me, a worried frown marring his face. I immediately looked away, feeling his stare somewhat... intimidating.
"I know you, and I know you want to prove yourself." He said, making me swallow. "But this never happened. You never take up on getting revenge, especially V since you've been bickering for, well, forever."
That much was right, I couldn't deny. I've never taken V's antics this far.
But I couldn't just stay still. I know it was against spies' code, and if not for Suga for covering me, I'd be punished again—this time, not a light punishment. My body and mind just synched and formed an alliance.
"Don't tell me your body and mind formed an alliance." He deadpanned, making me whip my head toward him in shock. A small smile formed on his lips upon seeing my reaction. "Your face says it all."
Before I could say anything—although I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to utter any word—the door opened and in entered two pairs of familiar eyes. One avoiding my burning eyes, while the other enthusiastically waving his hand.
"Helloooo!" Jin grinned, approaching us but Hobi just crossed his arms, standing near the door. A slight pang of guilt formed in my chest. He's not saying anything, and he refuses to look me in the eyes. That must mean he's either angry at me or blaming me.
At least him being here means he's picking me up to go home. With a half smile thrown at Yoongi, I stood up to leave, passing by an half-confused half-offended Jin at being ignored.
The ride home was silent. Uncomfortable and heavy. It didn't help that there was no background music to help alleviate the atmosphere. And by the time the car was parked in the garage and I slipped off my shoes at the entrance, Hobi was already up the stairs. Seconds after the deafening silence, the sound of a door closing echoes in the house.
Sighing in defeat, I went upstairs to shower and changed into my pajamas. Before going into my bed, my steps led me to my brother's bedroom as if it was automatic. Knocking on the door softly, I waited with bated breath for a sound. But nothing came.
Swallowing thickly, I finally spoke. "Hoba... Are you asleep?" Silence. "I—I just... Good night..." My words were barely a whisper. Whether he heard me or not, I knew I deserved this cold treatment.
Going back to my room, I closed the lights and went into my warm covers, closing my eyes and willing my heart to not break.
That was the first time he didn't kiss me goodnight.
"Sweety, go wake up your brother."
My hands trembled, breath labored and I was sure even my eyes were betraying. However, no matter how many times I pinched myself, the scene was the same.
Soft eyes greeted me, a small smile on her face as she took my hand. I flinched.
Even her hand was warm.
"...Mom..." I couldn't blink my eyes, afraid this dream or whatever it was would vanish once I did. Only when she touched my cheeks to wipe them did I realize I was crying.
"Are... Are you real?" My hands automatically gripped hers, but she frowned.
"Did you have a bad dream again?" She sighed, making me sit on the chair. "Hobi should really stop making you watch those horror movies at night."
"What are you talking about? She's the one who wanted to watch them!"
My head whipped to the side so fast I heard a crack, but that was the least of my concern. Because walking down the stairs was Hobi, the pain in my chest dulled at the sight of his pout. He skipped the last pair of stairs to jump, then ran to ruffle my hair in greeting before sitting up next to me.
Hobi reached a hand toward the content on the table, but was harshly tapped by a hand. "Ow."
"What did I say about manners?" Mom squinted her eyes at him, making Hobi squeak a 'sorry'.
"Are those strawberry jam bread and syrup?"
This time I blinked in bewilderement, not believing when my Father reached our table to grab the bread, and then being tapped by our mom.
"Ouch." Dad retracted his hand immediately massaging it.
"Like father like son, huh." Mom huffed with a smile, while Hobi and dad giggled.
The scene looked so domestic, so... natural. In the back of my mind, I knew it was a dream, but I pushed the thought away. What if it's not a dream? What if whatever life I had never existed and this one really was my current life? What if none of them died but it was just my imagination—
"Sweety?" Mom's voice pulled me out of my trance, my eyes flicking upward to see them all wearing all kinds of worried expression on their faces.
"Are you sure you're fine?" Mom asked again when I didn't say anything. I exhaled shakily.
I would never want to wake up from this dream.
"I'm... fine." A small smile slowly lifted from my lips. "More than fine."
All of them smiled, but then when I looked down at the table, there was nothing. Blinking hard, I was sure breakfast was—
"Are you happy?"
That voice gave me chills. I snapped my eyes up in horror as I saw my mother looking at me with disdain. In place of her usual lovely smile, her face was devoid of any emotion but anger. I stood up stumbling, her eyes glaring daggers at me, her face marred with red. Blood. All her face was painted red blood, soaking the collar of her flowery dress, leaking on the table and the floor. My voice got stuck in my throat, breath unevening. Everything becomes blurry.
"Are you happy?" She repeated coldly, approaching my trembling figure. "You killed us, and you are happy?"
"I—I... No... I didn't..." It feels like there is not enough air and I'm suffocating, my lungs burning from not having enough air to breathe. This is not happening. It's not my fault.
"It is your fault." Looking up, dread filled my entire body when I saw my father looking at me in disdain, also covered in blood. "Look at us. Look at what you did to us."
I wanted to scream, anything. But it felt like I couldn't find my voice, it felt like the space was getting narrower by the second. Before I knew it, they both stood in front of me while I looked at them from the bottom. Were they always this tall and intimidating? Were this room always this dark? What were we doing earlier? Where am I?
"Look at your brother. He doesn't love you anymore."
Hobi was looking at my small figure, a few feet away. I reached out my hand to him, but his body felt impossibly far. He turned and walked away. Hobi... Is it my fault? It's my fault...
Cold hands grabbed my arms from both sides. My eyes didn't leave the place where Hobi disappeared. I didn't even realize I was getting held in the arms by someone. I could feel the liquid soaking my head, dripping down my chin to my chest. My body felt numb, the kind of numb that you get used to when you shut down any emotion.
"You will come with mom and dad, right sweetie? You brother will be so happy without you." My mom purred in my ear, cradling my head while I shut my eyes.
I'm so tired.
I just want to rest.
"You want to rest? Don't worry, we are here now. We will never leave your side anymore..." My dad's voice trailed, getting smaller and smaller until I heard and felt nothing anymore.
Everything is dark. And cold. It doesn't feel good, but it feels right
Can I really rest? I'm so tired.
I just want to disappear.
Maybe they're right. Maybe if I didn't exist, everyone will be happy.
I know it's my fault.
I shouldn't have existed—
Cold water suddenly got splashed on me, and I gasped. Opening my eyes and sitting up to cough the water, I looked around in panic, my heart beating erratically fast. Shampoo. Soap. Bath bomb... Slowly but surely, my breathing evened. I realized I was in the bathroom.
Taking deep breathes to attempt to soothe the stuffiness, I clutched my chest and choked out a sob. For a moment, I couldn't think properly, my head dizzy even after minutes—which felt like hours. My head and heart hurt it felt like needles piercing inside me. I didn't think the act of breathing would be such a difficult task for me. I never once felt it would be this challenging one day—until now.
Inhaling deep once more, my heart rate finally slowed to its normal rhythm, albeit it took me a while to slow down.
Only the droplets of the water could be heard—in my surprise, my body jumped in the bathtub and water was splashed everywhere. Exhaling slowly, I closed my eyes and swallowed the last sob that threatened to come out. Then, I slowly rose up to open the cabinet to rummage inside. Covering myself was the last of my problem.
My eyes fell on the white bottle on the far bottom, tucked as if hidden from anyone, but easily found. Grabbing it to open the lid, I stared at the three white pills. Not wasting time, I swallowed one and exhaled a sigh of relief.
I've been using these medicines all my life, for as long as I could remember.
"It's bitter, right? But it alleviates the pain. You will feel better."
I used to think mom was right, but now I don't know anymore.
Because even though I'm not in pain anymore... I feel numb.
And it's worse than being in pain.
| Teaser | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | ...

















