In the past 20years and 4months of my life, I’ve come to learn quite a few things. One may call me lucky because these lessons were learnt way too quickly in such a short span of time. Some the hard way, and some very easily. So, regardless of where you might be in life today, what you may or may not have achieved, how well you’re treating yourself, I would like you to look back upon the great things you have already achieved and the amazing souls you’ve met. I want you to look back at your life like your favourite novel, and all the characters, even the ones you didn’t quite like, all those situations and all those problems you thought you’d never overcome but eventually, you did. I want you to always remember the wise words of an old man you met in a book about a magical world and a boy-who-lived. I want you to remember that whoever said “this, too, shall pass” was a fuckin’ genius because these words are true in every bloody way. You’ve achieved so much, you’ve touched so many lives. Even if you’re sitting broke, somewhere on the corner of a street, reading this off a phone you stole, with blurry vision from all the booze you’ve been consuming and the drugs you’ve been doing, sitting miserably all by yourself – just remember that you’ve been awesome all your life and that’s the way you’ll always be. You’ve fought this world for a long time, and you’ve fought valiantly. It isn’t the end and you have not accepted defeat. You never did and you never will, not until your last fuckin’ breath. So drink some more and get wasted, take a few more bong shots and get baked, because YOU never gave a shit about the bloody world, so why begin now?
· You’ve been through so much, and there you are. You’re still here. Still here. You’ve learned so many things during this seemingly never-ending war, so I think I’d better remind you lest you should forget what made you who you are, you awesome being.
· You’ve learned that life isn’t all about making the right decisions or doing the right thing, what counts is you getting your lazy ass out there and doing something every bloody chance you get.
· You’ve learned that some people are not worth you. They’re not worth your time, money or love. And remember that these are the only three things in life you’ll never get back, no matter what you do. It may seem like you’ve got them back but they won’t be the same bank notes or the same love that you felt towards that person. Not the same. Never will be.
· You’ve learned that you were wrong when you thought books are a waste of trees, because no book, no matter how horribly written or how shitty the plot may be, is never and will never be a waste of tree life. The very fact that a tree died and was inked by human hands, with words – the most beautiful of human creations – that touched millions of souls all around the world, is in itself a miracle. It’s magical.
· You’ve learned that heartbreaks are a part of life, some take a piece of you and some leave you shattered in pieces. But it is not the end of your world, though it may seem so. You’re special in so many ways and you deserve to be treated with love and respect. Anyone who treats you any less or tells you otherwise is a waste of your precious time, beautiful.
· You’ve learned that death is an inevitable truth. It gets to all of us because it is, after all, the only universal truth in this Universe. It shuts people down, opens them up, breaks them and frees them of their miserable existence. Running away is never an option, and dying the arms of someone you love is the best way to leave this wretched world. I knew a great man, sorry, the greatest man on earth to have left in the arms of the love of his life, his wife. I’m sure he’s up there in heaven, smiling down at you and looking after you forever more, like he has ever since you breathed your very first breath. And we both know how desperately you wish to join him up there, but I’m sure he’s arranged some deal with God to let you fight some more because you deserve a lot more happiness than you think yourself worthy of. Deep down, you know that too.
· You’ve learned that some people, when they walk away, they will leave you broken and inconsolable. You’ll feel horrible and worthless. But it will pass, I promise. Don’t let those people stop you from being yourself and loving too much, too soon, with all your heart. They’re the worthless ones, and when it hits them, they’ll probably come crawling right back to you. Don’t be cruel. Forgive them and give yourself the peace you deserve, but don’t let them back in, no matter how much you want to, regardless of how long you’ve waited for them with open arms. If you do, remember that saying that if you hurt yourself the first time, you deserve another chance. But if you get hurt the third time, you’re the fool.
· You’ve learned that sometimes the footsteps you leave behind can be somebody’s guiding light, but if they refuse to walk on your path and choose to make their own, don’t hate them and respect their decision. Allow them to make their own mistakes and when they fall, let them pick themselves up. Don’t give up on them too easily and don’t support them too much and end up making them too dependent on you. Remember that you had a helping hand too, and you fell a gazillion times on the path that you created for yourself, you still do. A lot.
· Past lovers and past friendships should always remain a part of your life, a part of your memories, and most of all, a part of who you are. You see, I’ve realized that we become like the people we meet, even if we don’t like them one bit. Spend a day or two with a new friend and you’ll find each other picking up on each other’s habits or body language or a certain way of talking, heck, you’ll find yourself dressing up like them or doing your hair a certain way that they do, too. You won’t accept it, no. Not yet, maybe much later, when you let go of your bloody ego, which by the way, won’t get you anywhere. Let that shit go, it’s too negative for you and those around you.
· Be kind and loving, always. Smile, as much as you can. You never know whose day you might end up brightening. You might as well giggle for all I care, like a maniac perhaps. Make someone else feel less weird, change someone’s mind about ending their life with one kind gesture, help a stranger when they least expected you too, smile at that kid who has learnt way too soon that this world is way too cruel, smile at the woman who desperately awaits her husband’s return from the border, smile at the old lady down the street who still wipes away a tear every single day because she misses her late husband, smile at the little girl who couldn’t get to swing in the park today because a boy pushed her and made her cry, smile at the teen who’s pacing about in their room with loud music in a bid to muffle the sound of their shattering heart. Smile. As much as you can, every day. No matter how horrible your life may seem, because it WILL get better.
· You’ve learned to follow your heart in the most difficult of times. When the going gets tough, the heart tends to whimper and hide in the corners of your mind. Allow yourself to breathe and reassure your heart that no matter what choices you make, the outcome will not kill you. And hey, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?
· By this time in your life, you’ve got absolutely no idea what you want to do with your life except have fun. You love to drink, hang out with your friends and stay out late so you can dance into the night. You’ve seen many pretty faces and you’ve kissed many pretty faces, but you’ve still not found the one. Instead, you’ve found two. Two of the bestest friends ever, who have stuck by you through thick and thin, and that’s all that matters. So I was wrong to say you’re lying drunk on the street all alone with a stolen phone, or partially so, at least. I believe your friends are lying somewhere on the street, near you. And that phone in your hand probably belongs to one of them, or you. Never let them go, regardless of how much they annoy you or stick their nose in your business all the time. You do the same to them, that’s what best friends are for. They’re your biggest source of inspiration and strength, they’re your worst enemies because they know too many of your secrets and they’re probably gonna be the reason you die. Because when you’re with them you guys are absent-minded and reckless, you love to live life to the fullest and I guess that’s the way it should be. Way to go. Cheers!
· You were once inspired by a particular ritual in a melancholic love story about two cancer patients. I shall not name the movie, I’m sure you loved it enough to remember it. So here’s what happens, in the movie, realizing the inevitable, the guy asks the girl he loves and his best friend to write him eulogies before he dies. They believe that funerals are not meant for the dead, so they hold a funeral for him before he dies and read the eulogies out. That really struck you and you asked your best friends to write you eulogies too, and promised to write one for them too. If you haven’t had your funeral yet, you better get on to it right now!
· Don’t you ever feel like you can’t trust anyone or lose faith in love, humanity or life in general. You know this better than most that everyone, be it your best friends or your own family members, will break your trust at some point. It could either be for your own good or for a super selfish reason, but I assure you they will, if they haven’t already. And it’s okay. I know you’ve heard this clichéd saying a billion times but I’ll repeat it for you just in case – everyone will hurt you, you just gotta find the one’s worth the pain.
· Love is a bitter, sick, twisted motherfucker. It bites you in the ass when you least expect it, leaves you when you thought it would last forever and leaves you weak-hearted, sometimes it KILLS you – for real! But let none of that deter you from your liaisons, or your endless pursuit to find “the one”. Cuz like Lisa Kudrow’s character in ‘P.S - I Love You’ said, “He’s out there, he’s just with all the wrong women.”
Remember that, and you’re good to go. Let cupid play his games, you play your dirty turn at every chance!
· Don’t stop writing. You must never commit such a heinous crime! It will be the equivalent of a gruesome murder! You stopped writing somewhere along the way, and you see where it got you? Nowhere. It’s your only way out. It’s the best way to express yourself. Your words are your most powerful weapon. They allow you to shoot down the person in front of you or push them so far in love with you that they see nothing past you. Remember that. “Always.”
· Music is another world altogether. It’s the route to another dimension. Never lock the gates to that world, no matter what. And slap all those ‘Yolo-shitheads’ that “If the music is too loud, you’re too old” is a load of BULLSHIT! I’m sorry but I love myself too much, and I want to be able to hear more of this beautiful album. If you wanna turn deaf way before you turn 30, please go right ahead and knock yourself out!
· You tend to cuss a lot. And I really mean it when I say A LOT. People tell you this a lot too. You usually ask them to fuck off or suck a bag of dicks. Because that’s what makes you who you are, you’ve always been this way, and that’s fuckin’ awesome. The world may not accept it or publicly announce it but they respect you for it, even if they hate you. They’re fuckin’ jealous. You abuse, because it’s your mouth, it helps you vent out your anger. People who speak too little may listen more but man are they building up a volcano in there! I pray to God no one’s standing too close to them when that shit erupts. It’ll get ugly.
· Sing. Sing as much as you want to. This one time, and I’m sure you remember, you were sitting at this café with one of your most adorable friends. You were having beer and you were barely buzzed. You were waiting for their gig to begin and you were fuckin around, so you randomly started singing. The place was pretty packed dude, and you were pretty loud. So right before you were heading for the door later, a guy stopped you and called out to you. He told you that you sing really well and you have a beautiful and soulful voice. That you should sing more often and try for some band. He then asked for your number but you refused it but you left the place feeling awesome as fuck! Remember that, you have a soulful voice; the world deserves to hear that.
· You’ve learned that it’s never too late to call up that old friend or randomly message them on Facebook, even if it’s at 4 in the morning, just to tell them that they were on your mind and that you missed them. Chances are, they’d come over later or meet you to catch up on each other’s lives. It’s never too late to tell someone that you love them or that they mean the world to you, as long as they’re still breathing. Because if you tell them long after they’re gone, there’s a huge possibility that they’ll be able to hear your confession, but sadly they won’t be able to respond and you’ll never know how that story might have ended. He/she could’ve been the one, and now all you’re left with is memories.
· The people who seem closest to you could be the sole reason that your life is a living hell right now. It doesn’t matter how well you know them or how much you trust them, they’ve been the stick up your ass all along but you’ve just never realized it. So try to look past the obvious and learn to read between the lines. Regardless of how long you’ve known each other, even if you’ve been the best buds since you were 5, you kick them out of your life because you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life, bub. You need to surround yourself with people who give you positive vibes and wish for nothing more for you than your success and well-being. They are the kind of people you keep yourself glued to. The people who’ve been there during the bad times but not during your good times are the leeches that live off your sorrows and hardships. They thrive on your tears and smile inwardly when they see you fall or break down. They pretend to support you and slyly push you to your doom, and then give you a falsely reassuring shoulder to lean on, without ever letting you know. Ask them to suck a bag of dicks.
The people worth keeping will always stick by you, through your bad times and the good. They’ll keep you smiling even when you’re super mad and make you giggle when you’re crying. Sometimes they’ll make you laugh so hard that you’ll pee your pants and still continue to have a laughter fit. You hitch your wagon to theirs and never let go, even if you’re about to crash to your deaths!
· You family comes first, no matter what. I know friends matter too, but the closest friends are considered family after a certain point. They’re as important to you as your parents or siblings or grandparents because more often than not, they care for you like a mother, scold you like a father, play with you and fight with you like your brother/sister, feed you like your grandma does and pays you butt-loads of money whenever you ask for like 20 bucks (they’ll pop out a 500 note) just like your grandpa. So keep your family close to you, always. And keep them together, don’t let it fall apart. Don’t ever abandon your family, even if your life is at stake. Keep all harm away from them, secure them from all dangers and take a fuckin’ bullet for them if you have to cuz you know they’d do the same for you. In a heartbeat. Love them unconditionally and spend as much time as you can with them, because they may not have as much time as you think they do. Click loads of pictures together, randomly, on the most boring days and keep those memories safe in your memory box (I hope you’ve upgraded that old box, man. It can hardly contain the memories it’s holding right now. And they’re not even a quarter of all that you’ve experienced!)
· Never ever, ever forget your teachers and mentors. Stay in touch with them and keep updating them of your achievements, you don’t know how proud they feel or how they stupidly smile at their phones when they unexpectedly receive a text from you randomly. You wouldn’t be where you are if it wasn’t for them, remember that, always.
· Don’t ever hold yourself back. If you put your mind to it, there’s no turning back. Just take the plunge and give it your best shot, the worst that could happen is that you won’t be successful. But does that even matter when you know you tried? You wouldn’t spend the rest of your life wondering what may have happened if you had taken that last step! You always regret the chances you didn’t take. Remember that. And always keep a positive mind-set; it really affects your life, your actions and their outcomes. It’s true. Stay positive and you’ll find your life falling into place even when you’re having a bad day. I promise.
· You’ve fallen in love way too many times to say you don’t believe in love. You’ve seen the beauty of love to even fathom the fact that people think love is blind. It isn’t. Love just happens to be non-judgmental, you little piece of shit. It doesn’t care what race, gender, religion or background you come from. If it falls for you, it sticks to you like glue. And that’s the way it should be. You’ve been with too many guys to say that all men are the same. You’ve done it and you can safely say that sex is over-rated (just in case you forgot about that). You’re too mature to believe that promiscuity is a problem or it’s immoral. It isn’t. It’s a way of life and some people choose and it’s completely normal as long as people remember to stay safe without hurting other people in their pursuits. You’ve had your heart broken way too many times and you’ve broken way too many hearts – some, unknowingly – so you do not believe in relationships anymore. Or as I like to call them, relationSHITs. But that doesn’t hinder you from taking a leap of faith and saying “Yes” to the next guy who’s up in line to hold your hand and promises to catch you if you fall, even if you know that all of the things he’s saying are just a load of crap just to get into your pants. The lies that you hear are like music to you because you’ve already fallen and his pretentious support is blissful. You wish to lay in his arms forever because paradise could not get better than this and his deceitful eyes a simply too beautiful to look away. So you don’t. And you fall. Over and over again.
· You’ve learned that the closest level of intimacy isn’t sex, it is shit. Quite literally so. When you have sex with someone, you’re allowing them to see your naked flesh and intertwine with theirs until you’re exhausted from exchanging all those bodily fluids and then you either sleep or leave them. But, when you’re able to shit or pee while you speak to someone, possibly over the phone or when you’re in front of them, now that’s a whole different level of nakedness. That’s the highest level of intimacy. The only people who have ever seen you do that are your makers, your parents. Or the creep in your neighbourhood, possibly that paedophile, too!
You can’t be that close or intimate with everyone, all your friends or all your lovers. There are a select few you can do that with, or who would not get extremely disgusted when you do that. That. That is something.
· Don’t ever feel ashamed of your best friends. I know this one’s a stupid point but just because I’m writing this to you on my best friend’s birthday (27th April 2015) at 6:49 in the fuckin morning, I’ll add what I can. These are the friends you had most of your teenage firsts with. The ones who were there for you at 2 in the morning, listening to you cry over that stupid boy. The ones who got caught because they stole their parent’s phone just to call you up when you needed them the most or were grounded because their postpaid bill was longer that the fuckin Great Wall of China! The ones who stopped you from sending that regrettable drunk texts and stuffed a whole pack of mints down your throat just to make sure you didn’t smell like cigarettes and booze before they dropped you home. The ones who you did that crazy shit with, the night you have no pictures of but you remember every moment because it was fuckin’ awesome! (and possible illegal…)
Love them as they are, because they do too. They’re your biggest strength and possibly your biggest weakness.
· Sometimes, everything tends to go haywire all at once. Everything goes wrong, all the mishaps happen one after the other. Calling them a series of unfortunate events is an understatement! It’s as if your life is falling apart, crumbling piece by piece right in front of you and you can’t do jackshit about it no matter how hard you try. Stop trying. You’ll only end up making it worse for yourself. You need to trust me when I say this, it will all fall right back into place eventually. And then you’ll know that it truly did happen for a reason. When things go wrong, they’re just practicing before they can finally get it right. So give it time, and try to sit back and relax. No, don’t just sit there and expect it all to be okay on its own, just go and do the things you’d do if none of this shit had happened. Be yourself and everything’s gonna be alright. I promise.
· You’ve learned that nobody is too ugly, too short, too tall or too dumb. We’re all equally amazing in our own ways and the world wouldn’t respect that so we just gotta stop giving a fuck about the rest of them and do our thing. Nobody is perfect, literally nobody. But we’re all perfectly imperfect in this imperfect world. We may not fit in, but every jigsaw isn’t that easy, is it? We’re all puzzle pieces, you see. If you keep pushing yourself into the wrong place, you’ll never find your real place in the world. Maybe you’ll just end up damaging your perfect imperfections to fit in the roles the society assigned you and no matter how much you try, all your attempts to mould yourself into someone you’re not WILL prove futile, for sure. If you explore enough and try every new place you see, you will find your true place in the world and you’d fit in so perfectly that the final picture you create would be the most perfect masterpiece in the bloody world. Remember that.
· Your favourite show, ‘Supernatural’, taught you so many things! You learned that you need to exorcise your own demons or fight them from taking over you.
· You learned that family don’t end in blood. And that even death can’t part some people.
· You learned to fight your battles and kill whatever scares you the most. You learned to conquer your fears and you accepted the fact that monsters do exist, no matter how much we try to deny their existence among us.
· You realized that a person could love an inanimate object just as much as a person loves another human being. You realized that some boys don’t consider cars as a craze or a toy, they consider their 67 Chevy Impala their life. They call it their “Baby”.
· I don’t know if you’re married or have a cricket team of children or if you’re living with a bunch of cats (please, no). But I just want you to remember that everybody’s plan doesn’t need to match yours. Maybe settling down in life just isn’t your thing. You’ve always loved living on the edge, living fast and living each and every moment fully. You’ve been spontaneous and impulsive almost all your life, why stop now. You never settled for anything less than what you deserved, which happens to be the very fuckin’ best, so why settle now?
· It’s okay if you’re not as successful as you hoped to be by now, or if you’ve lost all the opportunities that would’ve led you to your lifetime goal. Because you see, this isn’t a game. You’re not playing Sims anymore. And you’re not that teenage girl anymore who actually thought that you had magical powers and my announcing “Save” or “Load” out loud would actually save your life at a certain point so you could reload it if you had a bad day. This isn’t a game. You hardly ever get second chances, and when you do, you damn well rest assured that you’re one lucky mofo! You may never be as successful as you wish to be but to me you’re a fuckin’ rockstar. You’re where you are after all that you’ve been through and that is bloody awesome!
· Don’t ever hold back from buying something you fell in love with at a store (as long as you can afford it) and don’t you EVER reconsider spending money on food. Any food. All kinds of food. You buy it all and you eat it all. So what if you’re gonna poop that 700 bucks worth of pizza? It’ll still be worth it! Your shit pot would love you for it and so would your taste buds. What’s the point of earning at all or becoming someone when you can’t splurge on the things you love and the food you like or traveling around the fuckin’ world? It is pointless to be filthy rich and bloody boring!
· You’ve always imagined that someday the words that fall right out of your fingers onto sheets of papers or computer screens would pay your bills and put food on your table. Even if you earned like 0.0001 bucks off a word you wrote, you’re my idol! You’ve achieved your life goal. Yes, that is it. You can die in peace now. Haha!
· You’ve learned that making peace with your past is prudent to keep walking ahead in life. You can’t keep walking blindly and not realize who you’re stepping on or where you’re going. So, I think you should know that as of now, you’ve successfully made peace with 90% of your past in your life so far. I say 90% because I may be forgetting a marginal amount here. So go right ahead and meet that old jilted lover or that ex-best friend. You may not be able to fix any damages or get back to the way you used to be but what you can do is try to look back and see it from their point of view with a clearer mind. You’re much more mature than you used to be, so stand in their shoes and accept your mistakes if you’ve made any. Learn to apologize whole-heartedly and forgive just as easily as you make mistakes. You can’t expect the world to be kind if you’re a selfish bastard! Make peace with your past, hun.
· Last, but not the least (I know you didn’t want this letter to end, but I’m kinda running out of things to write and I’m sleepy.. I’ll probably add more points later), you remember that saying “When life gives you lemon, you squeeze them and make lemonade”? Well, fuck that shit. Here’s the new motto – when life gives you lemons, you put on your party dress, go out with your friends and squeeze them straight into your mouth after endless tequila shots, you hear me?! Booze may not be healthy, but all answers are not straight and you can barely think clearly if you can actually walk home without having a buzzing head. Get sloshed, woman!
Love always,
20year old You.
Courtesy: Horrible photo editor-
