my dearest charlotte aka um0v3dm3kurt and charlotter stroganoff circa like 2012 and Pudding Life circa 2017
today on the day celebrating your birth I would like to take it back to those 2012 fandom days by publicly and obnoxiously posting a Birthday Letter™ for all to roll their eyes at and scroll the fuck past because who interacts on this website anymore I mean honestly
look at this supermodel wow amazing beautiful gorgeous
(do not be fooled she is even more beautiful in person but I also still have hundreds of pictures/screenshots of her making the most glorious of ridiculous faces)
I also have like 40 pictures of her trying to “sit like a lady” like this cat
anyway,
on this day 22 years ago a thing happened (u happened) and then a few years after that, like 16 of them, we met irl but like didn’t know each other so I’m not counting that as our origin story but thEN a few months later we met online and thus started a sweet sweet friendship that still continues to this day
we spent a good chunk of our ~teen years~ and young adult years (ya lit son) and now 20s together either on tumblr, on skype a few times, on tinychat, on like AIM for a week just for the lols, by text until someoNE stopped having an iphone, on whatsapp, and now mostly on messenger but also in real life when you lovingly came all the way to ShitHampton to stay with me in my rad dorm room where I would like stock up mattresses from flatmates for you then later when you spend a godawful amount of hours on buses on mutliple occassions to come sleep on my (or ben’s) floor in Paris, AND all the way to san francisco to go bike riding and buy some bras and get scared to death by a wild boar (seriously though this friendship is really one sided one day I will come to you instead jfc) and we chilled in our pjs and sometimes napped together during the day because we stayed up all night playing video games or watching things or reading things silently next to each for like 7 hours because bb we have a perf friendship tbh
and we would go out like Once during the week and then either stay in the restaurant for hours playing our own version of million dollars but or cut dinner short because we once wanted to run home to build massive ore blocks or like build a fucking moat around our anti-zombles bunker
but in all seriousness you have been a constant in my life, a rock, an anchor of support and friendship and caring, like we don’t get sappy often but bruh get ready for it because what better way to be wished a happy birthday than by having a friend of yours publicly pull out the friendship receipts on you
you were there for me throughout some of the shittiest years of my life (high school and then shithampton) and though we grew up a lil and changed and like moved away from our beginning fandom dayz we were still always able to come back together over and over and we still talk almost every day like you mean the fucking world to me you have no idea how much you’ve helped me and how much I love and value having you as my friend beyond this hellsite where we can still scream about dumb boys playing video games or in bouncy castles or about the sims whenever we get obsessed with it again for a few days (weeks) but also talk about our future or our ~feelings~ and like sometimes that happens with distractions and jokes and quiet support because that’s what we need that day, and you have always provided that for me, comfort and safety and warm happy feelings and a lot of laughter along with the words of encouragement of the unwavering support and faith I hope you know I have in you (for you?)
like there is literally zero doubt in my mind and heart and soul that you will have an amazing life and go so far and accomplish many great things and ur already a pretty fucking swell person so I can’t wait to get to know who you will be in 5 years or 10 or 30 or 50 (when we move in together and get 10+ cats if we’re single)
I love you so fucking much and your happiness means a lot to me okay
so happy birthday, Charlotte Rose [last name], I hope that your cats step on ur boobs lovingly and your family and friends and bf smother you with love and affection and kindness and though I can’t be there to physically help them out with that I can still post this ridiculous thing where we first wrote porn for each other and whatnot and send you all dem good birthday vibes your way over the internet because it’s pretty gr8 and allows me to talk to one of my bestest friends on the regular god could you imagine if we had to send each other letters by pigeons fuck man
happy birthday charlotteR, I love you <3
and to conclude here are some fab pictures from our years of friendship
Gabby’s Laptop Mitch, “Bloggers In Their Natural Habitat”, 2012, Webcam
Our amazing bunker before the Renovations™
that time we went outside (lol get wrecked @those I badly cut out of the picture)
when u and ciara came to shithampton for one of my greatest birthdays ever and we set up camp in the flat kitchen, A+++
just.... this
aforementioned reading in the same room together sending each other various links and never wearing anything other than pjs
or that one time a few years previously on a different bedroom floor in a different country when I sent you a super angsty thing to read and I broke you oops xoxo (stutter stiles)
the greatest thing that ever happened to me tbh
THESE ARE OUR FIRST INTERACTIONS OH GOD SO EMBARRASSING AND GLORIOUS I LOVE IT
and another instalment
stunning
that time you made a secret fucking birch (THE WORST OF THE TREES) room in our world which I found like a year later
and thus concludes this long ass birthday post of friendship and love and here’s to many more years of that!!! <3
Warnings: Frottage, non-penetrative sex, meantions of versitality
Summary: "They may kiss like teenagers who just went steady but they fuck like adults."
A/N: This was just supposed to be pure porn but of course it became that and more including snippets of kurt and blaine's entire sexual history and habits with some feelings sprinkled on top.
~-~
It’s the way Kurt crawls across the bed on his knees to gently take his face between his hands so he can kiss him.
It’s the way he goes in almost carefully and backs off between every kiss like he can’t stay too close for too long but quickly stops caring.
It’s the way he holds him, how he uses tender touches to guide the kiss without taking the lead.
It’s the way he’s confident in how he kisses but left so breathless and giggly when it stops being chaste.
It’s the way his breathing quickens the shorter the breaks get between each kiss and how he bites his lip when they do still pull away, like he’s trying to bite the numbness out of his mouth so they can continue forever.
It’s the way he bends forward beautifully when Blaine wraps his arms around his waist like he needs the anchor as much as he needs to touch.
It’s the way it’s easy to kiss for hours or seconds depending on how they feel.
Here they have time. Hours to fill with kisses and touches and pleasure.
Blaine’s skin feels warm where Kurt’s fingers press along his jaw, right under his ear where he can hear every little sound Kurt makes as they kiss.
He can also feel every one of his own interrupted and stinted breaths to match the tremble in Kurt’s touch born from excitement and holding back.
It’s all that and more that has them shaking apart, Blaine’s hands gripping the fabric of Kurt’s shirt as Kurt kisses him until he forgets where he is but remembers every single thing he has ever known about Kurt.
Like the way he loves it when Blaine leans away just a sliver, just enough for Kurt to chase his mouth. Or the way he swallows over and over unconsciously when Blaine starts kissing along his jaw before moving down to his neck, keeping the touch of his lips gentle and teasing to feel Kurt get worked up.
He knows every spot that drives Kurt crazy and how hard to press or kiss or bite just like he knows Kurt knows his. But it’s still all unknown, in a way, the combinations in which Kurt pushes and takes or gives. There are no rules, no steps to follow or choreography to memorize just falling into each other with the mission to make the other lose and forget every inhibition.
Because when they’re like this, just the two of them and a diminishing amount of clothes and brain function, it’s just feelings and love and sensation and making each other cry out and scream and grab onto sheets and come without it being either selfless or selfish.
That’s how they work; out in the real world, in their home, and in between the sheets. It’s the way they know each other so well while still always being surprised by one another with an act of kindness or silliness or even romance.
It’s the way Kurt sometimes comes home to a full meal waiting for him on the table at 4am because Blaine stayed up for him, changed his sleeping pattern with him during a big work event. Or the way Blaine sometimes finds tickets to a show or a play on the fridge and a naked Kurt standing in the doorway to the bedroom holding VIP passes and a smirk.
It’s the way they can still talk for hours after dinner and never run out of things to say, it’s the way they care when they ask “how was your day?”, it’s the way they discuss things like what’s bothering them or what color they should paint the hallway.
And it’s also the way they still have sex like they’re desperate for each other, on the dining room table, against the fridge, in the recently painted hallway or in their bed where they can spend hours doing everything from kissing to foreplay to trying new things and testing limits.
Like how many times Kurt can come in a night, like how long it take Blaine to come untouched with just Kurt’s fingers inside of him, like how quickly their thighs get tired when one of them rides the other, how easily it is to just fall forward and let themselves get fucked.
They still have sex after getting in a fight, they still fuck in the morning when one of them is sleepy and happily pliant, they still take showers together that end up going on for far too long before they have to run off to work with damp hair and scratch marks on their backs.
They still leave parties at their friends’ houses impolitely early so they can get each other off in the car, they still go a week without exchanging more than good-morning pecks before they break and fuck too rough and too good somewhere other than their bed.
They still use condoms sometimes just because the cleanup is easier and somehow it’s exciting, that moment after the prep, after the high before the real thing where they slow down just long enough to reach into an extra drawer, just long enough to find their heads and senses long enough to actually kiss before it’s all gasps and panting again.
Because years later the sex is still good, still great and mind-blowing and every other word that’s whispered the next morning when they’re giggling and groaning about having to get out of bed with some strain and going to work with some marks.
They can still fuck hard enough to make their legs shake for hours, make the sound of their moans and screams resonate in their ears for days afterwards during which they send each other smirking glances holding a promise for a repeat or even a follow-up.
Sometimes it’s gentle and tender and intense in a way that clogs their throats up under the sound of their breathing and their sighs and their cries when the pace is perfect and it hits just right and Blaine bites his lip or Kurt arches from a pleasure so extreme and heightened that he has to force himself to take in a breath just so Blaine can kiss it away again.
Then it’s just skin and sweat and mouths falling open while their arms tighten, it’s slow building orgasms that set their bodies on fire in a way that they crave when they’re not touching, when they’re not home or far apart.
But then it’s them again and they can make-out like teenagers and explore each other like their hands don’t know every inch of their bodies by heart, like they’re rediscovering everything with a renewed desperation.
They may kiss like teenagers who just went steady but they fuck like adults. They have the confidence that comes with years of experience together and the stamina of a couple on their honeymoon except their phase never ended.
It starts with the complete trust, respect, and affection of a friendship and the easy communication and love of a relationship, of a partnership, and it ends with them naked in bed continuing a discussion from dinner about life or politics or who has to go buy more coffee filters.
But between all that it’s Kurt undressing him, it’s his hands following the curve of his sides before leaning forward to kiss him again, it’s the way he leans them back until they’re lying on top of the bedding they hadn’t made that morning, the way he settles between Blaine’s knees without pulling his mouth away.
It’s the way it’s perfectly awkward getting out of the rest of their clothes but somehow still so very hot, like the addictive noises Kurt makes when Blaine wraps his legs around his waist and pushes his hips up, or how easily they fall into a rhythm, rocking against each other because sometimes that’s just enough.
Sometimes they don’t want that come-down moment when they pause, they don’t want their hearts to have time to slow down or their toes to stop curling.
It’s fast and rough and deliciously unplanned when they’d gone back to the room to fuck each other silly for hours and instead they’re grinding into each other like they’re still sharing an apartment and they don’t have time, like they need to make the other come before a roommate comes home.
Blaine wants to reach for a pillow to slip under his ass so he can find more purchase to fuck up against Kurt who’s moaning against his forehead because they’re already so goddamn worked up just from kissing. But then Kurt’s arms start shaking so Blaine leans up until he can settle in Kurt’s lap.
He loves Kurt like this, come-dumb without having even reached orgasm yet, easy to break even further which Blaine wants to test when he starts moving his hips in tortuous circles.
The friction is just barely enough but it pulls them to the edge ridiculously fast and Blaine knows they should stop, resettle, get some lube at least but it feels so good and Kurt is making little aborted noises of pleasure that Blaine swallows down in a kiss that makes him shiver and quicken the pace.
Only then does Blaine reach down to get his hand around them, forcing his body to slow so he can get the right angle. It’s too dry but the slight tinge makes Kurt hiss beautifully between moans, his mouth open and kiss-bitten as he holds onto Blaine like he’s worried he might fall away if he lets go.
Blaine forgets to swallow when Kurt opens his eyes to meet his before he’s reaching down to grab Blaine’s hand before moving it up to his mouth where he can lick it while Blaine watches on, wide-eyed and pulled taut, seconds away from coming right there, before Kurt can even get his hand back around them.
But then he does and Blaine whimpers and lets Kurt move Blaine's hand up and down as he uses his body to fuck up into the tight ring of their fingers. It’s slicker but there’s no grace, just grabbing at each other while they move together.
It doesn’t take long before Blaine’s on the edge again, one hand scratching against Kurt’s shoulder as he trembles, repeating Kurt’s name over and over before he screams it when Kurt shifts them roughly so he can start jerking Blaine off, forgetting about himself as he pulls Blaine further into his lap.
Blaine brings his hands up to take Kurt’s face in his hands just to have something to do while he breaks apart, mouth open around breathless moans while Kurt whispers for him to come, keeping his eyes on Blaine as Blaine does, yelling Kurt’s name before he loses his voice around a breathless scream as the orgasm hits him full-force.
His body jerks forward and he feels like a live wire, pulled between the present and something else that makes him lose the feeling in his arms and legs. He wheezed out a weak laugh when he finally starts coming down, skin burning with an intensity that still hasn’t dissipated.
Kurt’s mumbling words against his collarbone about how beautiful he looks, how gorgeous he sounds and Blaine wants to make him forget how to form sentences so he pulls him up with trembling fingers and kisses him, dirty and wet as he grinds his body forward where he knows Kurt’s trapped between them, hard and desperate.
Blaine huffs out a laugh when Kurt’s jaw goes slack and he forgets how to kiss as he wraps his arms around Blaine’s waist to pull him tighter so he can fuck up against the damp skin of his stomach and hip.
Normally it wouldn’t be enough, it wouldn’t be enough pressure or friction but soon Kurt let’s go with a shout, muscles spasming as they try to tighten without any strength before Kurt goes limp in his arms, still high and shaking.
Blaine presses his lips against Kurt’s temple, still breathing heavily as Kurt pants into his neck.
It takes them a good ten minutes to start moving, just enough to lean back against the pillows where they can curl up and giggle about having to reach for tissues to wipe each other off like they were 16 again.
It takes another five before they find the strength to shift enough to get beneath the covers where they smile at each other like idiots and whisper sweet nothings and make jokes about the youth they’re still in.
It’s easy to fall asleep, still wrapped around each other, drained and happy in a way that settles their hearts and breathing as it evens out.
It’s the way Kurt’s still holding his hand as his eyes close, the way he knows he will be there in the morning and every morning after that, the way the last thought he has before falling asleep is just how in love he is.
Summary: This is a vague Portal 2 AU. You don't have to really know the game to read it, just know they get stuck in a video game and they have to complete it to get out. Stuff happens.
A/N: Happy Birthday, Beeny! I love you.
~
"So, I tried,” Stiles started with an apologetic shrug. “Looks like we're stuck here until we complete the game.”
Derek huffed, Stiles was sure it was another one of his almost-laughs.
"Your mouth usually serves to get us into trouble, not out. It would have surprised me if that had worked.”
Offended, Stiles slapped Derek's shoulder. "I'll have you know my mouth has many skills!"
baSICALly it was easily one of the greatest weekends of my life.
I got to meet a wonderful lady who showed me around a little and made me feel welcome and we went to a ~tumblr RT meetup dinner~ together where I got to hang out with 30+ fans from my world which was aweSOME
ALSO I GOT TO HANG OUT WITH KERI AND HER COUSIN WHICH WAS EPIC OKAY LIKE SERIOUSLY
Ahem and now for some sweet sweet lists
Main things I did:
Day One: Gus and Ray signing, live GTA Heist (got to sit down in like the third row it was amazing)
Day Two: Walking around, Interview with JJ (I was one of the 15 chosen to be interviewed for a project of his) Immersion panel (in the back, but still incredible)
Day Three: Achievement Hunter Panel!!! (Up at 5am for that one, worth it, absolutely worth it. sat veryyyy close to the front, could see everything), Adam "Gilby" Ellis signing!!!!!!!! (third time meeting the guy, he is one of my favs) and finally the SlowmoGuys panel! For whICH BY SOME FLUKE I WAS IN THE FIRST ROW RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM IT WAS GLORIOUS! Also I got to meet and talk to Barbara's parents as well as Meg's and Meg herself since I was sitting next to them.
People I saw from afar (whilst waiting in line, surely) outside an event:
Ryan, Geoff, Gus, Michael, Lindsay, all the Creatures, all the Game Grumps, Kdin, Caleb, Miles, Pat, Gray, Shane
(this proves that they are all real, who knew)
People I got to talk to for a short amount of time (this was from being on the second floor for my interview, all the employes came to chill there so I saw most of them):
People I got to talk to for a longer amount of time:
Jon (WHO RUNG ME UP WHEN I GOT MERCH OMFG I WAS LIKE OH HEY IT'S YOU TAKE ALL MY MONEY I DON'T MIND ANYMORE), Matt, Burnie (that man is a wardrobe god damn), Barb
People I got to talk to for a big ass amount of time:
Barb's dad, JJ, Jenny, Meg, Adam (on two occasions)
PEOPLE I GOT TO HUG (aka the most important thing ever):
Barb (twice), Ray, Gus (he asked ME for a hug), Meg (so tiny), Chris, Adam Ellis (FIVE HUGS IT WAS MAGNIFICENT HE GIVES THE BEST HUGS), JJ (spending hours with the guy does that), Jenny (JJ's girlfriend, she's also now one of my favs)
Everything was great, there were a LOT of people (30k and you could feel it) but the Guardians were fucking amazing and everything was basically amazing and I had the greatest time ever
Sorry it took so long to make this post omg I still haven't fully caught up with sleep or anything else really this shit tired me out like you would not believe but it was so so very worth it.
I AM SO HAPPY IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE AND I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT I GOT TO GO! *u*
