/* Misunderstanding /* (2/2) | Remus x Fem!Reader
(Not My Gif)... (And I told you I’d be using the same one for part two... because I like it :))
Song: I Was Listening To Indie Music... That Just Screams Remus, Especially Piano Or Instrumental Stuff.
Prompt: The aftermath of the rumor of Y/N--James sister--liking Sirius.
Genre: Angst to Fluff?
Warnings: Swearing, LONG--it’s LONG! most definitely typos and grammatical errors--I am so sorry about that as a fellow reader I know that sometimes it can take you out of the story but as a writer... it happens. James being the main character. Super cheesy at some points, and yeah, just read it.
A/N: Did not expect it to be 4,301 words... Unedited.
| Not Requested |
| Part One | Part Two |
/* Misunderstanding /*
“Where’s Y/N?” James asked.
“Didn’t want to come,” Lily murmured and sat down beside her boyfriend.
“That’s the third day in a row she hasn’t come to breakfast,” Peter spoke.
Sirius furrowed his eyebrows. “This is all my fault,” he accused.
“What else could you have done to make it better?” Lily asked as she looked at him with a sympathetic expression. “She needed to hear it.”
“Wait, what is this about?” James questioned, not following the conversation between his girlfriend and best friend.
“Promise you won’t tell?” Lily raised her eyebrows at Peter and James.
“Promise,” they replied at the same time.
Lily took a deep breath. “Y/N likes Sirius and Sirius had to reject her the other night and that’s why she hasn’t hung out with us in three days,” she blurted, rapidly.
Peter frowned.
James laughed… loudly.
“Why are you laughing?! Your sister is heartbroken–no offense Sirius.”
James shook his head. “Because Y/N doesn’t like Sirius!” He prepared himself for the confession. “She likes Remus.”
“WHAT?!” Peter, Sirius, and Lily shouted.
Cold glares were shot in their direction.
James looked at his friends, uncomfortably. “Yeah,” he dragged, taking a bite of his toast. “She told me after I found poems she wrote called ‘The Boy in my Head’, and ‘The Werewolf’. And it’s obvious. What kind of brother would I be if I didn’t know?” His words were muffled from the food in his mouth but they understood. They all gave him looks as if to urge him to continue. He took a deep breath. “First of all, Remus gets a boner every time she’s around, and Y/N acts like a young school girl with a crush.” He twirled his hair dramatically and squeaked out a giggle. “Oh, Remus! You are so smart, and kind, you’re my best friend, let’s make out!” he mocked. “Do I need to continue? Merlin… who came up with that conclusion?”
The group went silent.
“It’s not important. But, if Y/N likes Remus then why is she so upset that Sirius rejected her?” Lily asked herself desperately trying to connect the dots until it clicked. “Sirius, what did you say to her?!”
James and Peter snapped their heads towards Sirius who wore a sheepish expression.
“I–I don’t quite remember to be honest,” he lied.
The stares of his friends got more and more intense.
“Fine!” he bursted. “Okay, maybe I didn’t specifically say ‘I don’t like you’, but Lily was so sure it was me, I didn’t think it was necessary. And yes, maybe my words–mistakenly–labeled Remus as not liking Y/N and instead another girl in our year.”
James turned to Lily, “You were the one that thought Y/N liked Sirius?”
“I don’t know! I wanted to know who Y/N liked, so I tried to figure it out on my own.” She looked back on the signs she found to lead towards such a conclusion. “It just doesn’t make sense I mean when Y/N spoke to Sirius that night she looked so happy.”
“What were you guys talking about?” James questioned.
Siris and Lily glanced at each other. “Remus,” they muttered, incoherently
James clicked his tongue, “There you go.”
Peter hummed in amusement. “And now, Y/N thinks Remus doesn’t want her at all, nice going Lily,” he snickered.
James' smile faltered. “And Remus doesn’t know,” he realized. “If Remus found out about this he’d—”
“Find out about what?” Remus dropped his bag, it landed on the ground with a thud. “I’m sorry I’m late.” His eyes scanned the area. “No Y/N still?” He couldn’t contain his worry. “She isn’t sick, right?” he asked Lily.
“No,” Lily answered, awkwardly.
“That’s good.” He sat down in between Peter and Sirius. “So… find out about what?”
Sirius gulped.
Remus looked at each of his friends in question, “James, you said ‘if Remus found out about this he’d–’, what?”
“Probably wouldn’t be happy.” James tried to lighten the mood with a reassuring smile.
Remus glimpsed at Sirius who avoided his eye contact, “Does this have to do with Y/N’s absence?”
“I mean–maybe?” James shrugged.
“Is she okay?” Remus’s eyes filled with concern.
“Depends on how you look at it.”
Lily slapped James in the stomach when the words slipped out of his mouth.
Remus stood up abruptly. “I knew I should have checked in on her,” he scolded himself. He gathered his stuff.
“Wait, wait, slow down,” James eased.
Remus set down his bag on the table, ready to go, “What?”
“She doesn’t want to see you right now,” James blurted.
Remus gave him a look of shock. “Why not? I haven’t done anything wrong, have I?” He tried to search for an answer on his friends faces and found looks of guilt. “Have I?” he repeated.
“No, not exactly,” James assured, weakly.
“Oh, bloody Hell! Lily started a rumor that Y/N likes Sirius, which then made Sirius reject her in a way that made it seem like the one she actually likes, which is you, likes someone else,” Peter rushed with a proud smile. “See? Was that so hard?”
Remus froze. “I’m sorry… what?!” His face presented pure horror.
Lily let out a cry, “Ugh! It’s all my fault!”
The boys minus Remus let out incoherent mumbles in slight agreement.
“Y/N wouldn’t tell me who she likes, all she mentioned was that he was a good friend and that he keeps giving her mixed signals so she doesn’t know if he likes her back. And then later I saw her–when you weren’t there–giggling with that same smile she’s been wearing for months. I didn’t know that it was because Sirius was talking about you!” She sighs in defeat. “So, Sirius rejected her, but never officially said he was the one that didn’t like her.”
“Let’s not forget to mention that now she thinks you like someone else,” Peter chimed in, leaning closer to Remus.
Remus didn’t say a word. It took a moment for everything to settle and when it did, it still left him confused. “So, what are you saying?” he asked.
“Y/N likes you!” everyone shouted at him.
Once again, people sent the group dirty looks.
Remus, slumped, sat back down on the bench. “This isn’t a joke, right? Because if it is, it isn’t funny.”
“It’s not.” Sirius shook his head. “I kind of wish it was… I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“If I was just patient with her she wouldn’t be locked up right now, crying.” Lily pouted at the thought. “Or, I should’ve spoken to her. I thought giving her some space would be the right thing to do, but maybe if I said ‘Sirius is dumb’ we would’ve figured this out way sooner.”
She ignored Sirius’s hurt expression.
“You guys are missing the point!” James grins, widely. “Now, Remus can actually do something about his Y/N problem.”
“I never said I liked her,” Remus remarks.
James opens his mouth to reply, but no words formed. “That wasn’t the problem I was referring to, but… are we still in this ‘I don’t like her because I’m scared I’ll hurt her’ stage? I thought we passed this…”
“We have–I mean haven’t–I mean–there was never a stage!” Remus laughs, nervously.
“Remus, Y/N has told me herself that she likes you, and though you won’t admit it, I know you like her,” James calmly confesses. “I also took a peek in your journal.”
“What?!”
“Yeah, interesting stuff in there. You know…” James adjusts in his seat. “If you really want my sister–if you want my sister to believe that you’re hers and she’s yours… use it,” he advised.
Remus gets up. “I-I need to think for a while.” He grabbed his bag, holding it by the strap, tightly. “Just—” He cuts himself off with a shaky breath. “Give me some time.”
He walked away as they watched intently until he disappeared around a corner.
Remus got to the common room.
“Remus!”
He looked up from the floor to meet the owner of the voice that spoke his name. “Y/N.”
She avoided his eye contact, “Shouldn’t you be at breakfast?”
He let out an empty laugh, “I should be asking you the same thing.”
Y/N gulped. “There’s no one else that’s in our year here, just me,” she informed.
Remus was taken aback by the off topic comment. “You say that like I was looking for someone,” he responded.
“Are you not?”
“I–no? I–um–are you okay?”
“What?” Y/N choked. “Of course I am!”
“It’s just… you aren’t making eye contact with me like you usually do.” He didn’t mean to sound so disappointed, but he was. In himself. He should just say it, why can’t he say it? “You don’t have to tell me. It’s none of my business anyways,” he paused. “But, I do hope that when you’ll feel better you’ll come back to the group. We miss you…” He nods, exaggerated, yet slow.
“I miss you guys too…”
Remus stumbled a step towards her. “Y/N I—”
“I have a little cold is all.”
He knew that was a lie, considering Lily told him the opposite earlier.
“Might have to miss the Hogsmeade trip tomorrow, but I’m sure you’ll find someone to take my place for our weekly book hunting,” she adds.
“No one can—”
Y/N gasped as if she remembered something. “That reminds me! I’ll be right back.”
“Wait I—”
“I just need to grab something, it won’t take more than five minutes.” She ran up the stairs before Remus could stop her.
A small groan passed his lips. His hands rubbed his eyes and pushed their way, roughly, through his hair. Now he understood why it took so long for his friends to admit the mistake they made. It’s Y/N, how difficult should telling her be? Easier said than done.
“I’m back.” She walked confidently to him. It was abnormal if you considered the circumstances. “Here.” She held out a piece of paper filled with neat writing. “It’s my list of books I want to read, maybe you could find them for me?” Her voice contained so much hope that it took Remus out of reality for a second.
Remus was about to take the list but she pulled it back.
“What am I saying? You’ll probably be too busy to even go to the bookshop,” she laughed, pinching the bridge of her nose. She pulled her hand away. “Next weekend. I’ll most likely be feeling better and I’ll go with you guys.”
Remus bit his tongue. He wanted to argue, he wanted to force her to say it first. It made him sick thinking about it. How much of a coward he was that he’d practically beg her to admit her feelings so he could tell her his without the doubt. He didn’t doubt his love for her, but he did doubt if he was worth her love.
He swallowed back his pleads. “Promise?”
She smiled, warmly and for the first time in three days her eyes met his.
Warmth filled his body at the sight.
“Promise,” she whispered.
His hand slipped down to gently take the piece of paper between his index and middle finger. “I’ll do my best to find every single one.” He did a quick scan of the titles. It stops on one specifically. “Hm.”
“What?” She tilted her head. “Something on there that caught your attention?”
“There’s a book about werewolves on here.” He looked at her. “Why are you learning more about them?”
“Because… you’re one. It’s like how you’re learning more about astronomy… I wanted to learn more about who you are, so one day I’ll be able to help like Sirius, Peter, and James do.” She bit her lip. Cautiously she said, “Maybe I can become an animagus like them too!”
He blinked a couple of times, processing. “No,” he protested. “You’ll–you’ll get hurt. I’ll hurt you.”
“That’s why I’m reading about werewolves, so I won’t get hurt,” she counterpointed. “And besides, even if I do. I know it’s not you, the one I’m seeing right here, hurting me.”
“That’s exactly it!” He folded the paper and stuck it into his back pocket. “It’s not me in the moment, but it’s still me. I am still inside that monster and if it hurts you…”
“You’ll what? Blame yourself?”
He didn’t answer.
“Why?”
He sniffled with a shrug. “Because—”
“But, it’s not you, you forget everything about your life when you transform. You can’t control it. Why would you blame yourself?”
“I don’t think you understand…”
“No, I don’t. But, I want to, and the only way I’ll be able to understand is if I allow myself–if you allow me to be a part of the darker sides of your life. Starting with the basics.” She sent him a kind smile. “And if I have anymore say in this; I wouldn’t blame you, I would never blame you for anything, whether it makes either of us happy or sad, because I know you, Remus, and you deserve anything and everything that makes you happy.”
His eyes were lined with tears that he struggled to push back, “You really believe that?”
“I do. With every bone, and fiber in my body, and with all my heart. You deserve the whole world, and all of its beauty.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“You also deserve the world, the universe even.”
Y/N shook her head, “I already have it, though that doesn’t mean I deserve it.”
Remus furrowed his eyebrows. “What do—”
“Excuse me,” someone interrupted. “Don’t mean to intrude, I just need my wand.” She points to it laying on the table near the pair. “I left it here… silly me.” The girl joking hit her forehead.
Remus turned away from Y/N to give their fellow classmate a grin. “We all have those days.” He walked over and grabbed it for the girl who seemed in awe of the gesture. “Here.” He handed it out for her.
“Thank you.” She took it. “I swear one of these days I’ll remember to put my wand in my pocket instead of setting it down wherever.”
Remus laughed, “At least you haven’t snapped your wand by sitting on it by accident.”
She raised an eyebrow in question. “Yeah, can’t say I’ve done that before.”
“You’re in our year, right?” Remus asked.
“Yeah!” she answered, excitedly. “I’m Ruth.” She raised her hand for him to shake it.
“Remus.” He accepted the handshake. “And this is…” His voice dragged when he finally saw Y/N wasn’t there anymore. Where did she go?
“Oh, she left.”
Why would she leave? His mind brought him back to breakfast, “Let’s not forget to mention that now she thinks you like someone else”. He looked at Ruth with a newfound realization. “In which direction?”
She pointed behind her to where the entrance/exit of the common room is.
“It was great to meet you, but I have to go.” He walked away but was stopped by her.
“You’re going on the Hogsmeade trip tomorrow, right?”
Remus seemed to be deciding something at that moment. He didn’t answer right away. “Maybe.”
“Maybe?”
“Maybe.”
Her posture straightened, “Okay… well if you do go, maybe we can—and there he goes.”
Remus rushed to leave the common room.
“Moony!” Sirius called out. “There you are, we have class, and James and I thought about—”
“Where’s the map?” Remus asked, quickly.
“The map? Why do you need it?” James, despite his unanswered questions, began to pull it out.
“Because, I think I made it worse.”
Ruth appeared and walked by the group. “Hey Ruth.” Sirius waved. “You’re going to Hogsmeade tomorrow, right?” he asked her.
Everyone looked at the two then back at Remus who seemed distracted by the map.
Ruth glanced at Remus. “Maybe,” she mimicked his answer.
Sirius noticed the way she didn’t look at him and looked back. He ignored it and turned to her. “Well, maybe we can go together?”
“Uh–I’m not interested,” she rejected, awkwardly and glimpsed at Remus before walking away.
Sirius sighed. “She wasn’t worth it anyways, besides there’s this guy in potions who definitely smelt me when we learnt how to make love potions.”
“Do you ever take a break?” Marlene, who joined the group, asked, annoyed.
“She’s not on here,” Remus mumbled. “Do you see Y/N on here?”
They all looked.
“She doesn’t look to be,” James observed.
“That’s impossible,” Peter commented.
“The map never lies,” Sirius responded.
“Then where is she?” Lily asked, now worried.
Remus stiffened. “Where’s the one place that’s not on the map?”
“The Forb—”
“Aren’t you supposed to be in class?” Filch’s voice squeaked.
“We’re going now.” James flashed a smile and waved the old man off. “We’ll look for her later, okay?” He placed a comforting hand on Remus’s shoulder. “I’m sure she’ll be fine.”
Remus lowered the map with a huff.
“Yeah.” He shut his eyes tightly. He looked at the group with a thin lipped smile. “I’m not worried… I’m not.” He exhaled, his smile getting bigger. “Let’s get to class, yeah?”
Remus casually strolled in the direction of the classroom.
“How do you think this will end?” Peter asked.
“Aren’t you worried about your sister, James?” Lily questioned.
James' assuring act dropped, “Absolutely. That’s why I’m going to ditch class and go look for her. You guys go with Remus to distract him.”
“Are you insane?” Lily gave him a look of disbelief. “If you’re going, then I’m going with you.”
He shook his head, “I think I might know where she is, I don’t need assistance. Just…please, don’t let Remus know.”
Sirius patted James on the back, “Be careful.”
“Always am,” James replied before running off.
Y/N played the dandelions along with the daisies planted into the ground. A small grin plastered on her face. She watched the clouds float on by and breathed in the cool breeze. “You certainly have gained a habit of disappearing on us,” James started, sitting beside her.
“How did you know I was here?”
“Lucky guess,” he chuckled. “You know, Remus is probably two seconds away from a fit.”
She sighed, “Why should he care? He seemed pretty busy with the girl he likes.”
James winced, “Y/N, I think there’s been a misunderstanding…”
“What do you mean?” She turned her head towards him.
James hesitated to go further and curled in on himself.
“What do you mean?” she repeated with more urge.
“Promise you won’t–I don’t know–do anything crazy?”
“You know I don’t make promises.” She narrowed her eyes. “Now, tell me!” She whacked him on the arm, playfully.
“Okay!” he laughed. “Give me a second…”
“James!” She hit him again.
“Oh my Merlin! You’re abusive!”
“You’re changing the subject!”
“Am not!”
“Tell me!”
“Fine! There was a rumor going around–that Lily started–that you liked Sirius, so that night Sirius was rejecting you, not telling you that Remus doesn’t like you.”
Y/N froze. “Wh-what?” she stammered.
“And the whole group knows this now, everyone knows you like Remus and Remus likes you!”
Her jaw dropped, “But, Remus doesn’t like me.”
“He does.”
“I’m so confused.” She pressed the palm of her hands into her eyes. “But—”
“No! He likes you Y/N, he’s just too introverted to say anything, and… terrified.”
She furrowed her brows, “Of what?”
“Of—”
“Hurting me,” she finished in a whisper.
“Yeah,” he said.
“Yeah…” She thought back to Remus and her conversation from earlier before Ruth interrupted. “So, that’s why he was so…” she cut herself off. “Ugh, I’m so stupid!”
“No, you’re not–well you kind of are–you both are.”
Y/N stood up. “I have to go find him, and talk to him, sort out this huge, awful—”
“Misunderstanding?” James guessed.
“Misunderstanding!” she screamed, exasperated. “But… Do I deserve him?”
“You’re really deciding to question this now? Right when you’re about to have him?
“Yes, yes I am.” She plopped back down onto her knees. “I mean I saw how he and Ruth interacted so easily, and she’s so beautiful, and I can tell she liked him, and it makes me think, what makes me so special?”
“Don’t ask me this,” James paused. “Ask him this. He’ll have these answers.” He snorted. “I’m just your brother.”
Y/N nodded. “You are… you are my brother, and as cheesy as this sounds, I’m lucky that you were the one to be placed in that role.”
“I’ll take it as a compliment.”
She hugged him, “You’re going to bring this up whenever you get the chance, aren’t you?”
He hugged back, “Yep.”
James walked into the common room and it felt as if all eyes were on him. Because they were.
“Did you find her?!” Remus asked and stormed up to him.
James looked at the group in annoyance, “I’m guessing he found out.”
“We tried,” Sirius claimed. “We really did, but you do realize you asked us to outsmart the smartest person of our group?”
“Fair point,” James agreed. “And, yes, I did find her.”
Remus sighed in relief, “Then where is she?”
“Astronomy Tower,” he answered.
Remus wasted no time and left.
James' head followed the movement until he was gone. “Y/N’s gonna hate that I told him that, but oh well. It needs to be done.”
“What do you mean?” Sirius asked.
“I told her everything, and she’s planning out this whole romantic gesture—” James fake gagged, “—I think they need to just stop messing around and confess, don’t you?”
The group mumbled ‘yes’.
“And to answer your question, Peter, I think this is going to end happily ever after.”
Remus jogged up the steps of the Astronomy Tower and saw Y/N perched at the edge of the balcony. “Hey,” he strained.
She jolted at the abrupt sound and looked back at him. “Oh! Hey!” She scrambled to get up. “Uh–how did you know I was up here?”
He jutted his thumb back, “James told me.”
She scoffed, “Of course he did.”
Neither of them move to get closer to one another, an awkward distance between them.
“Look—” they both stopped when they started talking at once.
“You go first.” Remus smiled politely.
Y/N swallowed back her nervousness. “I think–I think there’s been some misunderstandings here.”
Remus’s expression faltered, “Yeah, I–I agree.”
Did she not like him after all?
“The rumor about me liking Sirius is completely false.”
“Oh, well that’s a relief.”
“Yeah, and–um–you see...” She scratched the back of her head. “When Sirius rejected me, I thought he was talking about you and I…”
“I don’t like anyone, Y/N,” Remus confirmed.
“You don’t like anyone?’” Y/N’s heart pounded against her chest to the point where it physically hurt.
“No! I–I don’t like anyone that’s—”
“That’s what?” Her voice dropped in volume, all confidence gone.
“That’s not you.” Remus’s head dropped, and hung low. He stared at the floor, too scared to seek her reaction.
It was barely audible and perhaps Y/N heard it wrong. She didn’t dare to command a repeat.
“Why?”
He looked at her with pure confusion. “Because it’s you! It’s always been you. You’re the only one who actually listens to my book rants, who listens to me, and who actually voices—”
“That you deserve all of the world's beauty.”
“Yes!” he cried, a few steps closer to her now. “And you’re so real. You’re real to the point where I can’t tell if you’re a dream because you fees too surreal. And it feels like I’ve lived this moment a million times in my head, and when I go to sleep. It’s all I ever write about. And if you are a dream, then I better not ever wake up.”
“What if everything you wanted was on the other side?”
Remus positioned himself right in front of her, a hairbreadth away. “You’re everything I want.”
Y/N met his eyes that were as warm as honey, “You’re my world, doesn’t mean I deserve it.”
Remus’s fingertips traced up her arm, “How is it possible that we see each other in such different ways than we see ourselves?”
Y/N shivered. “You’re blind, and I have perfect vision.” She tried to joke, but it didn’t come out humorous.
Remus clicked his tongue, “I think it’s the opposite, I’m always the one having to read to you because you can’t read the words clearly.”
“It's not my fault that I’m stuck with the Potter curse of bad eyesight.”
He laughed, a laugh that filled Y/N with joy.
“You worried me today, I couldn’t find you.”
“I didn’t want to be found.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“About what?”
“For giving you mixed feelings.” He laced his fingers with hers. “For ever letting you believe I don’t love you.”
Love?
“I-I mean like you, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean–well I do mean it, but I understand if it’s too fast, we haven’t–I haven’t—”
“Remus!” she stopped his ramble.
She lifted up her hand and pushed back a piece of his hair that had fallen out of place. She was memorized by it, the feeling, the softness of it. And how damn beautiful he was. “I love you too,” she admitted, quietly.
“You do?”
“How could I not?”
“I can think of a few things.”
“Impossible…”
Remus bit his tongue to hold them in, and instead blurted, “Can I kiss you?”
Y/N’s heart fluttered. He’s asking her to kiss her, because he wants to. He wants her. (I’m sorry I love the idea of a guy asking if he wants to kiss me instead of just doing it.)
“Only if you mean it,” she responded.
“How could I not?”
She closed her eyes. “I can think of a few things.”
He shook his head, mockingly. “Impossible.”
With that he gently pressed his lips onto hers. There was no roughness, or aggression, or desperation. They had all the time in the world for that. Remus wanted to take his time to take in how she tasted, memorize the feeling, the friction that grew, and especially the feeling that her hands left when they ran through his hair or the pads of her fingers brushing his face or neck, her delicate touch. He convinced himself at that moment to believe that if Y/N was telling the truth, that he did deserve everything the world had to offer, she had to be the beauty of it all. Because to him she is. And he convinced himself to believe at that moment he was in a dream, or dead and went to heaven.
And when they pulled apart, out of breath, he was pleased to not have woken up this time.
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