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[thisyoungmumslife-blog]

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[xantheduffy-blog]

WHY IS SELF-CARE IS SO IMPORTANT: THE SIDE PARENTS NEGLECT

Self-care has to be one of the most neglected terms used when becoming a parent. You spend all your time running around making meals, doing the washing, changing nappies, that you have zilch amount of time to put into your own personal wellbeing. Or sometimes, its just easier to use that excuse, the “Oh, I never have enough time in the day to do nice things for myself.”. But maybe we just don’t know where to start, or we just put it aside as something that doesn’t matter. When becoming a mum, everyone else’s responsibilities and wellbeing become before your own, so rather than putting ourselves first occasionally, it’s easier to just put our own self-care aside, even if it would only take 10 minutes out of your day. As if you don’t matter. But you DO MATTER. And looking after your mind and body can make all the difference to your day, yourself and to your relationship with your child.

YOU ARE NOT SELFISH

Self-Care IS NOT selfish, it’s necessary. After all this time spent caring for someone else, it feels selfish to even think about taking 10 minutes out of the day for yourself. Crazy, right? Like, we have actually adapted to the state of mind that we just simply don’t matter, and everything else comes before our own health and wellbeing. Every night you go to bed thinking about what you will do better tomorrow to make your kids or partners lives easier and better. But do you ever think about what you are going to do for yourself?

“Taking care of yourself doesn't mean me first, it means me too.”

YOU ARE IMPORTANT

Read that again.

IT IS OKAY. It is okay to simply just sit and breathe for a small 10 minutes. You are worth the small amount of time that it takes to focus on yourself. It is important for you to nurture your own wellbeing and look out for your own happiness for once.

You are important.

“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.”

BUT WHY IS SELF-CARE SO IMPORTANT?

It gives you a break from stress

The constant flow of chores that get thrown at you every day can load a filthy weight on your shoulders. Simply by taking a break, you are opening yourself up to letting go of all that’s holding you down. Finding a sense of relaxation, and looking after yourself will allow you to re-enter your day feel refreshed and will actually elevate your happiness.

It gives you time alone

Time alone can feel completely out of reach when you are a parent. You aren’t even aloud to go empty your bowels without your toddler asking you a million questions or pulling on your arm for a drink or to find their stuffed animal. So when can you find that short stretch of time for yourself? As soon as they’ve hit the hay, ACT ON IT. Go have a warm bath, light a candle, add some bubbles, rest your head back, and breathe. But what if they wake up? If this a worry that stops you, do something more quick and simple! Sit on the floor, couch or even your bed, cross your legs, straighten your back, and simply take deep breaths in and out for 10 minutes. Don’t think about your phone, don’t think about the kids, don’t think about what you are going to make your kids for breakfast in the morning, and don’t think about all the washing that hasn’t been done for 3 days. Enjoy this time ALONE with yourself.

With Love,

If you need more help with starting your self-care routine, I have made a FREE 4 WEEK SELF-CARE CHALLENGE! You’ll be able to set yourself goals each week and really focus on yourself. You do matter, and you are important, so no more excuses! If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

[xantheduffy-blog]

4 WEEK SELF-CARE CHALLENGE - FREE DOWNLOAD

YOUR GUIDE TO MY 4 WEEK SELF-CARE CHALLENGE

Why did you create this 4 Week Self-Care Challenge?

Self-care is something that I really need to focus on, and I knew I wouldn’t be in this alone. So I created this FREE guide to share with you. I hope that you will be able to find the will take control over your life and wellbeing.

After trying to adapt to the transition from 0-2 kids, you really stop focusing on your own happiness and wellbeing. It becomes so easy to push your own self-care aside, because you spend your days focused on how to make everyone else’s lives easier, happier and better, rather than your own. You tell yourself you are too busy and you simply don’t have the time of day.

Why should I try out this challenge?

You should try out the 4 Week-Self Care Challenge because your happiness, mind, body, and lifestyle matters. This FREE guide is the right push in the right direction. Self-care is the road to a better you and a better life.

As a mother of two, I do understand finding the right time is difficult, but its not impossible. Put the effort into yourself, and the universe will give back to you.

FEATURES:

Yoga or walk or workout

Drink 2-3L water

Meditate 10 minutes

Self-care 10 mins (Includes ideas, such as: drink lemon water, have a healthy smoothie, listen to music etc.)

Daily Gratitude

Beach/Forest trip

Watch a documentary

ALSO…

FREE daily gratitude template (in case you don’t own a journal)

If you have any other challenge ideas you would be interested in me creating for you, comment, or email me: [email protected] x

[xantheduffy-blog]

19 AND MOTHER OF 2

There is so much controversy around becoming a teen mum. People have many questions along with a TON of judgment. "You know this will ruin your life" Yes someone actually said this to me. But in all matter of fact, I am just living MY life. Becoming pregnant at 16 wasn't planned, as you would imagine, but there wasn't regret. Our lives take on many different paths, opening a new chapter and a new beginning every day. You are always where you are meant to be, and in this case my road turned down what you might call a high speed roller coaster with the loops and steep hills, the steep climbs and falls, no one to let you off the ride, you just hold on and keep looking forward, and roll through the punches. Not to be dramatic, but it was indeed the biggest adventure of my life.

My first baby was Aurora, Aurora Harmony Burnett. Nothing planned me for what was about to come of my life. I left home when I was 16, where I began living with my current partner. Things were far from easy, and I was struggling mentally to cope with my relationships from family and friends. Friendships began to quickly disappear, I felt like I was deteriorating inside and out. I soon became pregnant, and ALL the emotions flooded in. I was happy, excited, nervous, unsure, worried about what people would say, pretty much everything x 10. 'Pregnant at 16' has to be something that is very frowned upon, and people hardly take a minute to listen, and be supportive. Thankfully, my partners family was supportive of our decision, although I still had no idea how to explain this to my family. I already felt like a burden, then I had to prepare myself to drop this bomb on them. At first, it wasn’t taken lightly, but eventually they came around to the idea. The next stage was the most difficult. Where would we stay? Can we afford the costs that come with having a baby? I was AGAIN worried about what people might think, but I knew it doesn't matter one f*cking bit. This was MY life, MY body, MY choice. AND you shouldn't kick yourself over another’s opinion of yourself, the only opinion that matters is your own, NO ONE knows you better than yourself, and you are the only one who will be there by your side at the end of the day when everyone else leaves. When you are 16, you are still learning and growing yourself, but I couldn't imagine a life other than the one I live now. Giving birth to Aurora changed every aspect of my life, nothing can prepare you for motherhood. I became so incredibly overwhelmed. I was confronted by ALL the fun things that come with postpartum. Stitches where you least want them, breastfeeding, cracked nipples, pain everywhere, extreme tiredness, nausea, WHILST running around to appointments dealing with Centrelink and the list goes on. I read none of the books and didn't go to any of the parenting classes, I basically just dived head first into the deep end. I was hit with the baby blues, everyone wanting to spend time with the baby, family feeling left out, whilst also just wanting to spend every single moment holding my baby. My mental health deteriorated, SHOKKER!! I was filled with anxiety and sadness. I felt like the biggest burden to everyone, struggling with my self-image, struggling to maintain relationships, had no friends to turn to, boy does the list go on. I was trying my best to be a good mother, whilst trying to keep my sanity in check. But, life goes on. And even though I was at a low point in my life, I had Aurora, the sweetest, most loving, curious little human that I made all by myself (with a bit of help tho obviously), she gave me strength and a reason to live. She was my will to go on and person to fight for. I gave her life and she gave me a new one.

As soon I had Aurora I remember saying "NO MOREEE" "I only want one child", okay we can all just have a laugh about that now, because my clucky ass decided one would eventually become TWO. Then there was Archer. Archer Kai Burnett. I was unsure about having a boy, but oh man, I fell so in love with him the first time I saw him. I never wanted that moment to end. And just when you thought life with one child was hectic, HAHAHA, two babies are a whole different ball game. So, life became FULL ON. I was hardly sleeping, up constantly feeding Archer, trying to look after his needs, trying to look after the needs of a crazy toddler, keeping the house as tidy as I can, cook breakfast/lunch/dinner, try shower, make sure i didn’t get mastitis AND more more more. Literally us mums/dads are on demand 24/7. And thankfully my partner has always been there to help me along the way. I basically had no social life and haven’t felt comfortable leaving the house on my own with two babies to catch public transport somewhere, although we do go on walks when we can. But I love spending time with both the kids, as they are my world and these days are as fleeting as anything.

Being a young mum has it struggles, but so does being a mum at any age. We are doing the same thing, just at a different stage in our lives. Instead of doing what most young people do, going out drinking on the weekends, or spontaneous beach trips and all that, I’m raising two miniature humans, where I go they go. Leaving the house isn't as easy as picking up your keys and phone then bobs your uncle and you're on your way. You need to tie ropes around your house and bring it with you. Not quite literally, but it feels like that some days. Motherhood has changed me. It's changed my perspective on life. It has made me who I am today and given me purpose.

Thank you for reading. You can always send me an email or share your story with me.

With Love,

Xanthe xx

Also, if you would like to follow along with me and my family’s journey, follow my social accounts!

Instagram: @xantheduffy