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the girl I’ve been in love for years witch have also always been one of my greatest friends just declared herself for me. she fucking told me she feels the same as I do. we've been thorough so much and now I know this. I’m so shook I just can’t believe it
it's 3:55am and i need to get up 5am what am i doing w my life
i miss her
why am i panicking over a book i haven’t found and should take to class tomorrow (today actually ‘cause it’s 2:17am already)? why am i already thinking the day’s gonna suck just because of that? i hate this
I’m a mess. I need to do things, I want to do things, but I just can’t. I can’t and it’s making me so sad to see how shitty i look and how dead i’ve been these days, i want to talk to someone but i don’t talk to anyone. I want to go see my grandma but I keep here in this house alone walking around it seeing and thinking about all I have to do and never starting to do anything. My classes will start again and just by thinking of that I feel like crying for the rest of the day. I need to move, but I can’t and it makes me so so tired. i dont know what i need to do anymore or where do i start
how do I tell my mom I want to go to a psychologist? I want to know if what I feel is in fact anxiety, I’ve seen all videos and search for all the symptoms and stuff and last night I saw one that made me think I should go check this. I had one attack one time, at school, last year. I still don’t know what caused that. I have these trembling hands (these are what make me more scared) and when I realise i’m thinking too much I see how my breath is hard and heavy. And then there’s the heartache, that makes me want to scream. I’ve been always “control” it by breathing deep, but last night I couldn’t sleep til I tried something I saw in the video that made me think about finally go to a doctor. The woman said that breathing with your hands in your face, like a conch, can help to calm down. And it did. I don’t want to sound like those people that diagnosed themselves with anxiety because they get excited to a party or nervous for exams. But I truly feel this isn’t the case.
it's 6:59pm i've been asleep all day and now i feel like crap
im so broken rn
