The White That Blinds
So today is the birthday of @yurax-mae and, as she’s a friend of mine, I wanted to write something for her. I don’t know much about her OCs, Caroline and Ebigail, but I’ve always been drawn to the former’s design. Also, I’m a sucker for a good relationship so I wanted to get this written.
Goddamn it, Mae, would it kill you to tag your posts featuring Caroline and Ebigail? Also, none of your bloody images load. Fix that, damn you.
Oh yeah; happy birthday. Hope it’s a good one, buddy. And hope you like this, too.
Walking knee deep in the snow was one thing. Walking against a storming wind carrying more snow was another. Having to carry her injured best friend all the while through all that snow was almost too much but Ebigail would not, could not give in; she was determined to bring Caroline to safety in spite of the world itself seemingly out to get her.
Her arms were getting tired. She still wore the thick metal cuffs on her wrists. Carol cut the connecting rope but they couldn’t be removed and they were uncomfortably heavy. Not to mention, with how cold it was, it was affecting the metal and it was starting to bite into her skin. To make matters worse, she was wearing a thin white dress and that was essentially it; her shoes were the barest of sandals. Carol was the one dressed for the snow, with her black hooded coat with matching boots and purple pants.
She was so exhausted and tired… The snow-laden winds obscured any hope that waited in the distance, if there was even any to begin with. She couldn’t even see that well anyway as her eyes were growing heavy with fatigue.
This felt impossible. More than anything, she wanted Carol to wake up. The strong, confident Carol who saw rivers, chasms, and mountains as challenges and wastes of time, never as unconquerable forces of nature. She’d have found their way out of this blizzard by now. She’d smirk and tell her they would march out of this like an evening shower as she rolled her shoulders.
Ebi couldn’t believe like that.
Ebi wasn’t strong like that.
Her heart and body were weak.
She was going to die here and take Carol with her.
That thought had to be defied. To defy it was the only thing that drove her on. Carol didn’t deserve to die. Ebi was worthless but Carol had so much to give to the world, more than Ebi ever would.
And yet Ebi knew, in this tundra, that she could not save her.
She begged for someone to save them like Caroline saved her. For someone, anyone, or anything to come in through the winds and take Carol off her shoulders and to safety. They could leave Ebi behind for all she cared; all that mattered was getting Carol out of this hellscape.
Suddenly she could see a tall dark silhouette ahead beyond the snowstorm.
Ebi nearly tripped in her own disbelief. Something was there, something that could break through this. Something that could save Carol, maybe even herself.
Stay awake… Stay awake… Only her thoughts kept her up as she pushed on with one step after the other. If she fell, she’d never get back up. She just needed to get close enough to make out what that object was. She didn’t have the mental energy to guess; all she could do was discover it for herself.
Her vision blurred and dimmed. Her legs and arms were frozen and numb. She couldn’t feel herself breathing anymore. Yet she finally reached the silhouette.
It was a cave. Shelter.
She scurried inside and threw herself on the ground. As rough as the earth was, she was too numb to feel any pain from the fall. The earth was also cold but at least it was dry and she was no longer being buffeted by the howling snow. She rolled Carol off her shoulders onto the ground next to her, relishing in the relief from the load she was bearing.
Free from the wind, Ebi remained lying where she collapsed. Her panting filled the dark space as she got her breath back. She just needed some more energy. She just needed to recharge.
All the while her eyes never left the unconscious Caroline lying beside her.
Ebi could still hear the wind roaring outside. How did she survive getting here thought that, and while carrying Carol? She almost couldn’t feel anything at this stage and yet she had walked all the way here after all this time. She shouldn’t have. Every instinct told her she shouldn’t have been able to make that trip. That’s up to Caroline…
Carol still wasn’t moving. That was to be expected, given the trek through the snow, but Ebi felt there should be more to do, that they couldn’t relax just yet. She moved closer towards Carol and rummaged through the pockets of her black coat, hoping she would forgive her for the invasion of privacy.
She found what she needed very quickly: a heatstone, an opaque orange gem in which dwelled a faint yet restrained light. She took it to the middle of the cave and placed it in the ground, although the effort took nearly all the strength she had left. She placed her hands on the heatstone and closed her eyes to focus. She prayed. She pushed her thoughts as hard as she could onto the heatstone, hoping beyond hope that she wouldn’t faint from exertion before...
The heatstone started shining. Its light pierced its husk brilliantly, lighting up the cave with a warm light.
It brought an energy that already invigorated Ebi to smile.
She then collapsed on the ground. They had shelter. They had light. They had warmth. Now Ebi could finally sleep, having hope.
“… wake …”
The voice came to Ebi, although it was muffled by her exhaustion. She had no strength to open her eyes, much less respond in kind.
“… Eb, wake up…”
Oh, it was Carol’s voice. Ebi would’ve smiled if she was able. She felt sad for not being able to respond to Carol, even if she was tired.
“Eb, you okay?”
She tried as hard as she could and managed to breathe out a “Yeah…”
“Ah, alright. Take it easy. Snowing hard out there. We’re not getting out for a while.” A thud sounded throughout the cave and Ebi could tell it was from Carol sitting down as abruptly as was natural for her.
The heatstone was still active; Ebi only just realised she could still feel its warm light. At least they didn’t die from the cold. And yet Ebi still felt sore and frozen in her arms, legs, and face.
She slowly opened her eyes. The heatstone was bright as usual and Carol was indeed sitting down next to her, but also looking at her. An eyepatch covered one of her eyes, under which the ends of a scar escaped from the top and bottom, but Carol still looked friendly in her own way. She smiled and raised a hand in greeting.
Ebi couldn’t move her head but she did her best to smile back.
“The hell happened, by the way?” asked Carol. “How’d we end up here?”
“Carried…” Ebi panted. “Me… you…”
Carol’s eyes widened. “Are you saying you carried me? All the way through all that snow? To this cave?”
“Mhm…”
Carol leaned back, taking a breath. “Wow. Didn’t know you could hike.”
Neither did Ebi. She still didn’t think she could.
“Oh, and, uh… thanks. Appreciate it.”
Ebi didn’t hold the delay against her. She was sure Carol was thankful even if she didn’t express it at first.
“Your face is really messed up, by the way.”
“Huh…?”
“Yeah, like…” Carol leaned down towards Ebi to look closer at her. “The right side of your face looks like the back of a crab.”
What did that mean? Did she mean her face felt hard? Ebi couldn’t tell; she felt numb and frozen.
“Might be frostbite? You must’ve been out there a while.”
“Mhm…”
“Your toes look pretty bad as well. Like bad sausages.”
Ebi couldn’t see her toes from this angle but she’d take Carol’s word for it. She trusted her, much like she trusted how she couldn’t feel her toes.
“And you look pale all over…” Carol frowned. “Damn it, Eb, why didn’t you take my coat? Or even my boots? You walked all the way here.”
She knew Carol was concerned for her. She didn’t think much of herself but she at least knew Carol wasn’t angry with her. “Cold…” she muttered.
“Huh? Yeah, what about it?”
“You’d… be cold…”
Carol regarded her with a flat expression. “Yeah, it’s snowing. And you’re wearing a huge tissue. You needed warmth more than I did.”
“No…”
Carol raised the eyebrow of her one visible eye. “No? No what?”
Ebi looked away from Carol. “I’m sorry…”
“Sorry for what? What’s going on?”
“I’m…” Ebi bit her lip. “I’m worthless…”
“Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.” Carol quickly yet firmly placed a hand on Ebi’s shoulder. It was a practiced gesture, not an instinctive one. “No you are not worthless. I know worthless people and you are not worthless. You need to stop telling yourself that.”
“But…” Even as her eyes trembled, she still looked back at Carol. “What am I good for? You’re so strong… You look after me… All I’m good for is getting saved and wasting food and time on… I can’t help you… I can’t help anyone…”
“Says the girl who walked through that much snow and got me into a warm cave.”
“So…? You weren’t supposed to be there anyway. You went there to get me out of trouble… It’s because I’m here you’re getting hurt…”
Carol sat back down again. After a moment, she grinned at Ebi. “I think it’s cute we have a lot in common but that’s one thing only I should think.”
Ebi blinked suddenly. “What…?”
Carol pointed a finger at her eyepatch. Without being touched, it flipped up. The good news was that there was still a whole eye under it. That said, the eye’s schlera was black and the iris was the yellow of a predator hiding in the bushes. You could call it whatever you liked but it was not a human eye.
“Remember this?” asked Carol. “This—and, well, the telekinesis I guess—should tell you what the hell I’m doing here. You’re not meant to help me; that’s my job. I’ve got the means and everything and I’m supposed to be looking after you. I’m supposed to save you and give you food and time.”
Ebi had to think about her answer. “But why? Who told you that?”
“I did.” Carol pointed a thumb at herself. “I thought, if I’m this good, I don’t need to rely on other people. You’re not this good and that’s why you do. I’m supposed to be looking after you. What good am I if I don’t?”
“But you’re not different from us.”
Carol scoffed, raising the eyebrow of her scarred eye. “You really believe that?”
“Yes.”
Carol froze. “Really?”
“You’re so much more than your powers or what you look like.”
There was no answer for several silent moments. Then Carol looked down at Ebi sternly, just as Ebi thought that… “The same goes for you, then.”
Even after double the quiet that Carol was granted, Ebi had no answer for that.
Outside, the snow was still raging. How long had it been since they got inside this cavern? They had no way to keep time in here but it felt like it had been days.
“Alright, that does it,” said Carol, standing up with a grunt and flipping her eyepatch back down. “We can’t stay here any longer; you need a doctor. I’m carrying you.”
“What? But Carol—”
“And this time,” she began as she slid off her coat, revealing a frilly pink undershirt, “you’re wearing my coat.”
Carol took Ebi by her wrist and pulled her up into a sitting position but that was as rough as she was going to get with her. As she put the coat on, she was gentle and patient, even as she struggled to pull the coat’s wrists over Ebi’s metal cuffs.
It was a very warm coat. Thick and heavy, too. It was just Carol’s style and Ebi could see why she wore it all the time. Even then… “Carol, please, I shouldn’t wear—”
“Eb.” Carol picked up Eb and carried her on her back. “You’re right about one thing.”
“Huh…?”
Carol smirked at her. “I’m strong enough. We’re gonna march out of this.”
Without waiting for an answer, Carol strolled right out of the cave into the snow.
Writing this taught me that I have three goals:
1) Find out how to start sentences without pronouns.
2) Find out how to write short stories that aren’t just conversations where the characters are doing jack all.
3) Make my friends happy.
Happy birthday, Mae. I’m lucky to know you.
