Beefa Bodyguard AU: Zack Confession
Zack: Hey Cloud! You're up!
Cloud: Yeah.
Zack: How ya doin? Feeling better? Your stats look better.
Cloud: Yeah.
Zack: Den says hi, he came in for a checkup today!
Cloud: mm.
Zack: I grew a tail over the weekend.
Cloud: Yeah.
Zack: and wagged it so hard it knocked over a pipe.
Cloud, attention caught: Pipe?
Zack: There he is! It wasn't my tail, I just had a pipe sitting around cuz I thought it looked cool. Not a pipe organ. But I did knock it over! With my butt. Scared the living daylights out of me, and Aerith laughed her ass off, haha!
Cloud: oh
Zack: Can I hold your hand?
Cloud: *hands him the burned one* s'fine.
Zack, who wanted to just hold his healthy hand: ...I'll take it, I need to check anyway. *Chatters while he looks it over* OOO, looking good! Look at you healing up! Very nice, very demure. *Wraps it again* Now can I hold your other hand? Just friendly like?
Cloud, surprised: uh, sure
Zack: Sweet! Thanks! I'm kinda a touchy guy, makes me feel close. I like feeling close to you, you're a cool dude.
Cloud: tch
Zack: "tch"? What do you mean "tch"?! Did you not know you're cool??? Dude...
Cloud: I'm a burden. Dragged you into this. You shouldn't be here, you should stay away.
Zack: BZZZT! You didn't drag me anywhere, you're not a burden, I should be wherever I wanna be, and I'm sticking like glue. Try again.
Cloud: Zack! You literally had to carry me here! Literal burden!
Zack: I'm buff! You seen these guns? *Rolls up his sleeve and flexes* Literally not a burden!
Cloud: *blushes* But you have to live with Aerith because of me. I know you're paying them. I can't afford their normal fee and you're making up the difference.
Zack: I love having Aer around! Even if she's a merciless tease.
Cloud: *blushing harder* Are you...do you...like her?
Zack: Yep, love her. WAIT NO, NOT LIKE THAT, CLOUD NO! Like an annoying sister! I've got my eye on someone else ;)
Cloud: ..oh.
Zack: You.
Cloud: Me what?
Zack: I like you.
Cloud: uh, I like you too?
Zack: oh my giddy aunt, Cloud, I like you, like, LIKE you! I wanna go on a date! With you! I think you're hot! And cool!
Cloud: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 *heart monitor going off*
Zack: But only if you want to! And I'm happy to be friends! And if you're not interested, sure I'll be a little sad, but I still wanna be your buddy! If you don't mind! You're awesome!
Cloud: *error.exe*
Zack: ...shit I did not mean to dump that on you while you're sick, sorry man.
Cloud: But, I have a stalker?
Zack: Yup, I am aware.
Cloud: And geostigma? I'm probably going to die soon? And be weak until then?
Zack: I know you have geostigma and I know the odds. I still think you're hot and cool. Like that pop song but better.
Cloud: I play the fucking pipe organ???
Zack: I love the way you play the fucking pipe organ, especially when you make it go "BWAAAAAAAAA!"!
Cloud: And you're a whole-ass doctor and hot and smart and funny and-
Zack, fanning himself and blushing: whoo! Spread those compliments out fam!
Cloud: I HAVE A STALKER.
Zack: I have a stalk of celery in my fridge that I haven't dared to look at for like 8 weeks because I know it's gone bad but the thought of touching it is so squicky I can't.
Cloud: you literally just handled an open wound.
Zack: with GLOVES!
Cloud: THEN WEAR GLOVES TO GET THE CELERY!
Zack: SHIT THAT'S A GREAT IDEA! THANK YOU!
Cloud: YOU'RE WELCOME! *Coughing fit*
Zack: SORRY! Sorry. Anyway, wanna go on a date?
Cloud: *chokes, coughing renews* *nodding frantically* Y-eah *coughing* fuck it, yeah. Yes please. I think you're hot too. 🍅🍅🍅 And cool. 🍅🍅🍅
Zack, squeaking: Awesome!
Tifa is outside listening at the door and pumping her fist.
Aerti later when Zack spills the beans: