#zanarkandknightnathan

[wandering-system-of-a-time-lord]

I probably ruined everything for our Main Host by blowing up but I am still angry. I'm going back in and let Kiara take over. Knowing her, as she is already depressed about her life and being treated by the idiot, she will probably cry most of the night. There's nothing I can do for her...but try keep her in the Present timeline. People say get help. But how can you get help when you COMPLETELY DON'T TRUST any Adult? The fear of being used again, being hurt again? Exactly why we don't trust adults... ONLY 1 person we trust completely and he's not here yet.

I am sorry Kiara but you may have lost some members of the group because of me. I'm not easily anger but I was this time. Just make it to this Saturday night for the fireworks show, alright? Then your twin brother can take over from there. Might as well log out of fb again since it's useless to say much on there anymore.

-he sighs- everything is falling apart around us, maybe it's for the best? I'm unsure, I feel like breaking down... Too many emotions running through me that most are from Kiara's nightmares. I'm too exhausted now... Was going to eat but lost the appetite for now. The idiot doesn't really like me fronting or Inu fronting. It's so hard to be... When no one wants you around but the other persona. -groans- now if only the train stop passing through I can sleep... I think we got a migraine coming in soon... Train doesn't help it but makes it worse...

I am stupid... What's the point of having friends after all?

- Alex

[wandering-system-of-a-time-lord]

Not much going on

So this 9:30am and I just had dinner which was a turkey burger with some chips. ::he thinks a bit:: I nearly said crisps instead. I have spent a good decade of being with Newt, Nicholas and my wife in the UK in our Mindscape Universe. They're all Brits so I end up picking up some of their way of saying words or sentences. I'm just an American beachbum hahahaha... I'm sure that will make Kiara smile once. Why? Because she clearly remembered that her Knight had told her over the phone that he's just an American beachbum and she had giggled about it as they continued to talked.

Anyways, yea I had dinner. Not sure what else I can do to pass time before bed, already took our night meds, the bed has been cleared off long ago. I should write a quick note in the login book though. Just to keep up to date in physical form.

Well then... Guess I go write in there now and find something to keep myself occupied for a bit before bed. Not sure who will front tonight but I'm pretty sure it will be Kiara or my wife, Inu. Newt and Nicholas doesn't feel like they want to front yet. There's no danger to the Main Host so no need for them.

So this is my last entry here before going to bed. Good night.

- Nathan "Alex"

[wandering-system-of-a-time-lord]

Feel Out of Sorts...

I am not feeling like myself, and I dont know why. I know that I am an Introject Alter and yet I sometimes feel like Im the very person that I am based on. Its so confusing for me. Yesterday was pretty bad for me with it and my moods were out of whack I guess. I just don't know what is wrong with me. Its so confusing... - Zanerkand Knight Nathan

[wandering-system-of-a-time-lord]

So I'm taking control of the body for now

Myles got tired some time while we were visiting the idiot's friends. So Inu took over from there then did the food run and when they got to Ottawa (heading back to the house) I had to step in. He's very emotional and broke down crying next to me. Well currently he's napping. I had to remind him that I'm not signing any papers or packets from him. So I did get scared when he lost control of his demon and it came out. Newt is alright, he's all patched up good since I am a Medic. Nick is staying at his side for now, both are resting. I couldn't just go to bed with my wife being so upset and all. So I came here and I find him talking about signing papers to give me. I flatty told him I'm not signing and that I'm not leaving his side ever. So I had take over in fronting when the car pulled up into the driveway. I mean it's rare that Inu loses control of his demon and it runs rampaging. I was never there when it happens so this was new to me, but I'm okay and I'm not leaving Inu because of it. He's not a monster... Or a full demon. Yes he is a half demon but that's all he is a half demon. His self confidence is pretty low and will be low for few days.

Other than that, it seems that Kiara really did slipped or should say, she retreated further back in the mind, back to where it's 2001 to 2003. To the time where she was running her guild online with her secret boyfriend. Last year, she kept slipping back there to now then she stopped and now she slipped back once more. I'm not sure how we are going to continue but we are just going to survive. Basic stuff, probably barely be on Facebook... Inu is only 15 and he has no parent but us guards. Yea Newt is his guardian but what he needs is a motherly figure.

Anyways... Probably update before we actually go to bed later this morning.

- Zanarkand Knight Nathan

[wandering-system-of-a-time-lord]

She left and I'm out.

Kiara slid back in from stressing herself out of her fear. She may have body memories too just like my wife does, Inu. I feel sad for her as she doesn't deserve that or all the abuse she went through growing up. For now I will front until Inu decides to take over.

Yea it true that Trunks had opened his locked memories. Yea I had to go after Inu when he broke down and ran off. From what I was told by Nicholas, is that they had to use a stunner spell then knock him unconscious. He wasn't badly hurt in the process. Kiara didn't stop crying until she fell asleep. Inu was the same in that regard. When Trunks woke up, we asked why he did that. He said that he didn't mean to and it was an accident. Since he just came out from a long slumber it probably made some sense. Even now, he is struggling to keep it in. Which leads to filtered bits of his blocked memories leaking out. -he sighs a bit- anyway I will be about until it time to sleep. Food Run is tonight so yea. Um laters.

- Zanarkand Knight Nathan