#zenah

[thornmaze]

The pain rushes through me, I love how it feels Tearing through my outsides reaching in Don't be careful let's begin.

[cowabinah]

the bottom two are just drawover/edit of original image: here

[thornmaze]

It fills you even now, doesn't it? The hunger. To bite down on my jugular, to feel the warmth fill your mouth and run over even as you drink deep.

[thornmaze]

Got to the part of Stormblood where Zenos and my WoL are now aware of eachother. At last, my godawful yaoi is real. (But at what cost..?)

(Insane ramblings under the cut)

Got into ffxiv through a friend who would feed me crumbs of information about the game a year prior. Including things about a certain blonde freak.. But due to circumstances, I couldn't get past arr for the longest time. Unfortunately, that somehow did not stop me from developing an obsession over Zenos/zenah (my zenoswol ship) in the meantime.

So that left me with way too much art of these two.. And let's not get into the sheer amount of Zenos art i've accumulated in the span of a year.. (Some of which I might post in the future) (This guy's been like a parasite to me, one that I can't get rid of no matter how hard I try..)

So getting to actually see the freak I've been unreasonably obsessing over all this time feels rather strange. Each time I see him, I get like 10 years taken off my lifespan. Safe to say this game has been toying with my mental wellbeing in more ways than one.

[thornmaze]

And yet...there is only joy. Transcendent joy that I have never known. How invigorating, how...pure, this feeling.

[thornmaze]

My bruised body tied up snug

Your hand colliding with my face

I start to bleed out of my mouth

And you know I love the taste

A remake of this drawing I made from when I was still going through Stormblood. Oh how the tables have turned..

I was already going mad back then, but Endwalker was beyond devastating in every aspect. (A surprise to noone, i'm sure)

Never thought one could experience as many emotions at once as I did during the end of EnW.

One moment I was bawling my eyes out over.. well.. Everything honestly, the next I was hunched over and wide-eyed, watching these two idiots engaging in such a homoerotic fistfight. What the fuck.. Good for them, good for them. Then it was straight back to crying, once again.

[takes drag of cigarette]

I miss my wife...

I wish I could better put into words just how much EnW has put me through the ringer emotionally. This damn game.. it plays me.

It did, however give me a ton of inspiration for future artworks. Hopefully my zenoswol parasites decide to calm down eventually, so I can focus on more than just making the billionth picture of the two making out sloppy style with blood in their mouths. I have so many new ideas..

Though I have several new zenoswol drawings already in the works.. Oh well. We'll get there eventually..

Even got to remake that stupid gif from my original post.. Lovely.

[wally-b-feed]

Anthony Fineran (B 1981), Zenah Model At Night, 2023

[dazenah]

And so, her sun set.