@ans-arcade Here's my last fill to ANS Rare Pair Week 2022! This is the a fill to last prompt from Day Three! I wrote a ZenKiki oneshot for this one. :)
college au where zen and kiki get dumped and bone about it
nsfw under the cut
When Zen heard the knock at his front door, he told himself to be cool. He was not going to talk about his break-up. Kiki wanted to hang out with Zen, not a sad sack of a man who got broken up with over text because he couldn’t find the time to spare for his long-term, long-distance girlfriend to break up with him face to face.
Video chat should have been easy. Except, she had work and they both had classes and then it was midterms and then he had to take care of something at the family business and it had all seemed very important until he woke up the first day of Thanksgiving Break to a text from Shirayuki politely asking if they could stop seeing each other.
I don’t think this is working out, she’d written. I will always love you and I will always be your friend, but I don’t think we should date anymore. I’m sorry.
He’d called her then, finally, and they talked it out. She stayed resolute and he got a three sentence text message burned into his brain for all eternity, he expected. I don’t think we should date anymore. I’m sorry.
So Zen was going to be cool about it. He smiled a very normal smile, opened his door, and said, “Hi Kiki. Pleasure to welcome you into my home.”
Kiki blinked at him. “Are you drunk?”
“Deeply,” Zen said, trying not to giggle like a little schoolgirl. (He failed.)
“That’s not like you.”
“Well, Shirayuki normally doesn’t break up with me.”
Damn. He was so bad at keeping secrets.
“No shit?” Kiki asked, sounding mildly surprised.
“None to be had.” Zen sighed. “Sorry. I wasn’t going to say anything. You wanted to hang out, not listen to me complain.” Ugh. And he’d had such a happy buzz going. Now he was getting maudlin and he was going to chase off the only other girl in his life. Maybe he should call Mitsuhide. Mitsuhide would let him cry. And probably make him a sandwich, too. That’d be nice.
“I just got dumped, too,” Kiki said. She hefted a paper bag up to Zen’s eye level and said, “Let me catch up with you.”
The paper bag turned out to contain some top-shelf vodka, soda water, and a handful of lemons. Kiki made herself at home in Zen’s kitchen, finding a glass and a juicer he didn’t even know he had. She looked like she had it handled, and since they’d known each other since basically birth he ignored his host instincts and let make her own drink while he sprawled on the couch and took another swig of his own.
“God, I hate scotch,” Zen said, breathing through the feeling of the alcohol sliding down his throat. It was nice enough that it barely burned, which was only to be expected of a gift from his older brother. Izana would never have settled for anything less than the finest scotch, even if it didn’t matter. Zen hated scotch, but he was turning 21 and Izana didn’t know him well enough to get him something he’d actually enjoy, so Izana got Zen something he would enjoy. Shipped in a very nice package, of course, because Izana couldn’t get away from work long enough to deliver it in person. And so it sat untouched for eight months until Zen’s Break in Case of Emergency moment came. He should probably send Izana a thank you note or something.
“Your brother was born with the palette of a 50 year old man,” Kiki said.
Zen snorted.
Kiki finished making her drink and joined him on the couch. They sat on opposite ends. He was loose and relaxed while she sat upright and proper, the way they’d both been trained to do from the time they could sit up on their own. He was considerably drunker than she was. Opposites at almost every level, and yet apparently they had one important thing in common.
“Hisame dumped you?” Zen asked. “Really?”
Kiki hummed in agreement, taking a long drink from her glass. When she set it down on the coffee table in front of them, a light pink stained the bit of rim her lips had just been on. That was her date night lipstick.
“Wait, did he just break up with you?” She was wearing eyeliner and her hair was gently curled. She’d definitely gotten dressed up for a date.
“Yes,” Kiki said. The mild surprise in her tone irritated him.
“I can notice things, you know,” he grumbled. He drained the rest of his glass like a shot. Ah, fuck. That was a mistake. He winced and waited for it all to be over. Hopefully any feelings that weren’t pleasantly numb or artificially giddy would leave with the burn in his throat.
“It feels like that anger isn’t directed at me,” Kiki said.
Zen ran a hand down his face. “I’m sorry. It’s not.”
He told her how the break-up had gone down, to which she simply listened in silence. When he got to the end and she still hadn’t said anything, he said, “You think I deserved it, don’t you?”
She didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. He knew.
“I was a bad boyfriend.”
“You were busy,” Kiki said. “And so was she. When was the last time she came to visit you?”
He stared off into the distance, trying to remember. There was Christmas that first year. She and Obi had taken a road trip and Zen had been just the slightest bit jealous that they were having fun without him. Which was ridiculous since they’d been going to school together without him the whole year, but he couldn’t help it. There was always this low-level, unfair jealousy directed at Obi, who got to spend all the time he wanted with Shirayuki. Most of the time Zen could completely push it aside and forget about it, but certain things would make it pop up again. He’d thought they just had to make it four years and they’d be together again, but maybe that plan had been naive.
“And how many times did you offer to pay for her flights?” Kiki asked.
Shirayuki had turned him down every single time. She wasn’t with him for his money, but her stubborn refusal to take any of the truly abundant resources at his disposal did make him a little sad. Couldn’t she have gotten over her pride if it meant they got to see each other more than once every two years?
“You are not solely to blame for your relationship failing,” Kiki said. “It sounds like you two just have incompatible lives right now.”
“Yeah.”
“But right now we’re college seniors. Who knows what will happen in six months. If it’s meant to be, you two will find your ways back to each other.”
Zen cocked his head at Kiki. “That was extremely romantic.”
“It was what I assumed you’d tell someone else in your situation.”
“Ah. So those weren’t your words, those were what you assumed my words would be.”
“If you weren’t three sheets, yes.”
Zen snorted. “Let me get more scotch and you can tell me about your heartbreak.”
“There’s not much to tell,” Kiki said, her voice following him into the kitchen where he’d left the scotch completely open. Whoops. “He told me he was tired of me trying to find time for him between work and school. He’d fallen for me and was tired of feeling like the least important thing in my life.”
She sounded so bored by the whole thing that it took Zen a moment to register her words. When they did, he froze half-way back to the couch.
“He fell in love with you for real?”
Kiki gave him an unimpressed look and said, “Please. He was using me to get to my father and, when he couldn’t get close enough, he gave up. Telling me he loved me was his way of pushing me away.”
“Well, apparently it worked,” Zen said, flopping back on the couch. A little scotch splashed up over his fingers in his carelessness. He wiped them off on his shirt.
Kiki shrugged and took another pull from her drink. To anyone else, she might have looked unaffected, but Zen had a lifetime of practice reading her. She was bothered by the breakup and really starting to feel the alcohol.
“Did you start to have feelings for him?” Zen asked.
“What?”
“You just-” he waved a hand in her general direction, “-look a little bothered by the whole thing.”
“Not because I’m in love with Hisame,” she said as if it was the stupidest suggestion anyone had ever made in the history of the English language.
“Got it,” Zen said on a laugh. Poor Hisame.
Kiki released the slightest of breaths, which for her was practically a massive sigh, then said, “It was just weird. This will be twice now that I’ve been rejected because of work.”
She didn’t talk about Mitsuhide rejecting her much. She’d told him when it had happened. Apparently Mitsuhide wanted to focus on starting his career, which he happened to be doing at Zen’s family’s company. Zen felt a little caught between the two, but Kiki assured him it was fine. She didn’t begrudge Mitsuhide for having ambition. How could she when she had just as much? Then, about a month later, she’d alluded to Mitsuhide when she’d started her weird thing with Hisame, stating, “He’s a rebound and he knows it. We know what we’re doing.” So that was twice in the past year. And now a third time.
“This sucks,” Zen said for lack of anything else.
Kiki’s lips twitched in a bare approximation of a smile. She held her glass out to him to cheers, and they both took a drink.
“It’s not like we can control it, you know?” Zen said. “It’s not like I want to be this busy all the time. I just am. I thought Shirayuki understood that and she was cool with it.”
“Hisame definitely understood it. He should have been honest with me. Now I’m thinking about things I shouldn’t be thinking about. Things he was supposed to distract me from.”
Zen laughed. “That’s funny, I said yes to you coming over because I was hoping you’d distract me from my break-up. Now look at us.”
Kiki huffed out a laugh.
Zen had always been fascinated by the way Kiki showed emotion, but amusement was his favorite. It was so rare to see anything but a polite mask or general aloofness, so it felt like such a win to coax anything more out of her. Sometimes it was anger - especially when they were kids, forced to get along and play nice because their fathers did business together - but when they’d grown up a little and started to become genuine friends, he tried to get her to smile more than anything else. Even now, he still felt a little thrill in the pit of his stomach over making her laugh. Maybe he was a terrible boyfriend, but at least he could be a good friend. And at least there was one girl in the world that would always love him.
“So,” Kiki said, pink lips forming the “o” slowly and deliberately, “are you going to sit over there and stare at me all night or are you going to kiss me?”
“Huh?” Zen startled like he’d been physically hit. His eyes snapped up to hers, and he found an amused glint in them. “What?”
“You said you wanted me to distract you from your break-up. What better way than to get under someone else?”
“I didn’t mean that! I thought we’d play chess or something.”
Kiki raised an eyebrow. Though nothing else in her expression changed, he could see her close a bit of herself off. The amusement left her eyes, leaving only a question behind.
“So you don’t want me?”
No was on the tip of his tongue. Of course he didn’t. She was off-limits forever. She was one of his closest friends. He didn’t sexualize his closest friends. (Obi never needed to know about the dream...or seven Zen’d had about Obi sneaking into his room and- just, Obi never needed to know.) But the more he thought about it, the more it seemed kind of perfect. They were both hurting in the same way. It had been forever since he’d even touched a girl, let alone had sex. They both knew the score and both had similar jobs. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but this might not be the worst idea.
“Friends with benefits?” Zen clarified. “Is what is here? Going on?”
“You appear to have lost the plot half-way through that thought, but yes, I’m suggesting a mutually agreeable situation.”
“Huh,” Zen said, then added, “Give me a minute. I’ve never thought about you like this before.”
She sat, patiently waiting for him to mull it over. She was definitely gorgeous. He tended to be more drawn to the cute, soft types, but Kiki was undeniably beautiful.
“Have you thought about me like this before?” Zen asked.
Kiki cocked her head just slightly and raked her eyes down his body slowly, assessing. He felt his face heat under her scrutiny. It wasn’t like he was ashamed of his body. Sure, he wished he was a little taller, but he knew he looked good. The question right now was: did he look good to Kiki? She was notoriously hard to please after all. He got it right more than most, but this wasn’t a drink mixed the way she liked or leaving croutons off a salad because he knew she didn’t like them. His looks, her attraction to said looks, were more or less unchangeable.
Finally, she said, “I can honestly say I’ve never considered you as a sexual partner.”
Right. He knew that. He’d said the same thing to her not two minutes ago. It kind of sucked to be judged and found lacking, but he couldn't exactly fault her for being honest.
“However,” Kiki said, “you’re not unattractive.”
Wait, did that mean she was attracted to him or was she trying to spare his ego as she let him down gently? But then if she was rejecting him why did she bring up kissing him in the first place? It couldn’t have been just so she could turn him down. She was cool, not cruel.
“I’m confused,” Zen admitted after a long pause.
“We’re both sad, lonely, attractive people.” She took a fortifying sip of her vodka and set it on the coffee table with an air of finality. “Let’s hook up.”
Wow. Okay then. Blunt and to the point, no misunderstandings.
“I-” Zen started, then stalled because he had no end to that sentence. No thoughts beyond what is happening? and-
“This is a mistake, right?”
Kiki nodded. “Almost definitely.”
But to be honest, Zen was just so tired of thinking. Maybe he should stop questioning it and let his friend comfort him. It was a very foreign way of comforting someone, but he was also starting to get hard at the prospect of touching a girl again. It had been an embarrassingly long time.
“So, uh, yeah,” Zen stumbled over his words. “Let’s- that sounds like a plan.”
“Glad we’re in agreement,” Kiki drawled. The slight upward tilt of her lips said she was making fun of him, but he couldn't really care less. He was too busy trying to decide if he should move over to her side or-
“It is truly amazing that you managed to lose your virginity at all if this is what you’re like,” Kiki said. She stood, swayed slightly, regained her balance, walked over to stand in front of him, and climbed into his lap. With her knees planted on either side of his hips and her thighs holding her up, she was just a little bit taller than him. His head thunked back against the soft back of the couch to look up at her as his hands automatically went to her waist to steady her.
In response, she placed one hand on his right shoulder and the other on the back of the couch next to his head. She leaned so slowly that Zen felt a little like he was being seduced. His eyes flicked down to her artificially pink lips, then back up. Slightly breathless, he admitted, “You are so pretty.”
It was like he’d said the secret password she’d been waiting for. She finally closed the distance between them and placed her lips on his for a solid first kiss. Really. It was impressive she managed to put the perfect amount of pressure behind it with how drunk she was and how new they were to each other. He felt the ridiculous urge to give her a good job team high-five and laughed at the thought as she pulled back slightly.
“That wasn’t bad,” Zen said, eyes going half-lidded and lazy.
At Kiki’s raised eyebrow, he hurried to say, “I mean it was good!”
“Not bad, huh?” She placed the hand on the back of the couch on his cheek to tilt his head the way she wanted and said, “You haven’t seen anything yet.”
True to her word, he hadn’t. Even with the languid messiness of both of them being drunk, it was a good kiss. Tongue and teeth and the bitter, citrus-y taste of her drink. The feel of her under his hands as he slid them from her waist up her sides, down her back, over her thighs. The way her toned muscles shifted as she lowered herself down onto his lap properly. He groaned slightly at the contact and she nipped his bottom lip in response.
“Holy shit, Kiki,” Zen said, breathing hard when they finally broke for air. She pulled back and he opened his eyes just in time to see her unbutton the top button of her blouse. Oh god. Okay.
“That’s a better reaction,” Kiki said, moving on to the second button.
“Do you want to move this to the bedroom?” Zen asked, forcing his eyes back up from the hint of cleavage now visible.
She kissed him once more, quick and hard, and said, “Let’s go.”
The stumble to the bedroom was, in a word, chaotic. First, Zen bashed his shin against the coffee table. Then, they got a little distracted in the hallway when Zen pushed Kiki up against a wall and batted her hands away from her buttons so that he could do the honors of undressing her, which led to more making out but this time topless. Which ruled. Boobs were awesome.
He only pulled back when she pushed down his basketball shorts and he was forced to admit, “Kind of wish I had worn something sexier.”
Kiki shrugged. “I’ve seen you cry over losing Mario Kart. You’ve done more embarrassing things than wear shorts with an elastic waistband.”
“Great.” He kicked the shorts as far away from him as he could. “Awesome.”
HIs mild embarrassment dried up with his mouth when Kiki shucked her cigarette pants off, leaving her in a little lacy thing that made Zen want to take off with his teeth.
“See something you like?” she teased, voice deadpan as ever, but Zen wouldn’t play along. He didn’t have enough blood left in his brain to power it properly.
“Get on the bed,” he said, slowly dragging his eyes back up her body. If she felt the same scrutiny he’d felt when she’d done the same to him, she didn’t show it. She simply stared back at him, eyes dark and unabashed. When he realized he’d just ordered her into his bed, he quirked his lips and said, “Please,” to soften the blow.
Kiki huffed out a laugh, then dragged him in for a kiss as she walked them back into his room. One of them had the presence of mind to flip on the overhead light as they passed the doorway. The backs of her knees hit first and they went down in a tangle of limbs that made Zen laugh and Kiki smile at the ceiling.
“I think your collarbone gave me a concussion,” Zen said, raising up on his forearms to look down at her.
She gave him a sympathetic look, gently brushed the hair off his forehead, and said, “That’s a shame. You really can’t afford to lose any more braincells.”
Zen kissed her to shut her up. Because that was a thing he could do now. At least for tonight, he could kiss her instead of trying to outwit her, which didn’t really happen on a good day and definitely wasn’t happening now. He trailed kisses down her jaw, her neck, over the tops of her breasts. When he kissed just to the left of one of her nipples, he heard her breath hitch and her shift just a little to bring his mouth closer to where she needed it. He couldn’t help but smile as he acquiesced and wrapped his lips around it, flicking it with his tongue. She made such a lovely, nearly inaudible sound, and he decided he wanted to draw more out of her. He wanted to hear her. He kind of wanted to hear her say his name, too, but if he told her that she’d either withhold or do it sarcastically and ruin his mood so he kept quiet and hoped for the best.
He let his lips trail down the side of her breast, the sensitive underside, then kissed down her abs. She had defined abs. Which he knew because he’d seen them before when they’d worked out together, but felt different under his mouth. And then his chin was butting up against the waistband of her panties. He glanced up to see if it was alright and asked, “Can I take these off?”
Kiki raised up on her elbows to look down at him and said, “Yes.”
“You’re sure?” He toyed with the hem, the backs of his fingers brushing against the swell of her hips. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to, you know.”
“Zen. You’re the only one dragging your feet here. Do you not want to?”
He stared at the damp spot between her thighs, transfixed, and said, “No, I want to.”
“Great. Then eat me out before I come without you.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
He knelt properly on the ground and pulled her to the edge of the bed. Then, finally, he worked her panties down her legs and off and licked up her slit. The quiet moan at the back of her throat and the way her legs tightened around his ears made him grin in satisfaction. He placed his forearms on the insides of her thighs to keep her open, used his thumbs to open her more to him, and let his tongue find her clit. It took him a moment, but he knew he’d found it when he felt her fingers clench in his hair and she let out a gasp.
He couldn’t even bring himself to be smug about it. He just kept doing what he was doing and let her hand in his hair guide the way.
“Fingers,” she demanded some time later. He was so focused he almost didn’t hear her. When he did, he pulled off her. The way her fingers tightened almost painfully in his hair made him groan. Apparently he liked his hair pulled. Who knew?
“Put your fingers in me,” Kiki said. She sounded only mildly affected, like she’d just gone for a warm-up jog, but the fact that she even a little bit breathless meant she was losing her grip. He was making her let loose and just feel and god if that didn’t feel great.
He put his mouth on her again and slipped his middle finger in without a word. The noise she let out made him smile against her.
“That’s it,” she said. “More.”
He slipped in a second finger and let his other hand trail up to cup a breast. His thumb brushed against the peaked ridge of her nipple as he curled his fingers just slight and that was it. She arched her back and let out a surprised, breathy, “Oh.” He felt her inner muscles clench around his fingers in a wild rhythm. He only pulled back when she batted his head away, lazy and sated.
He wiped away what his tongue couldn’t reach with the back of his hand and flopped down next to her on the bed. She held up a hand, clearly waiting for a high-five, and said, “Good job.”
Zen high-fived her with a laugh. He said, “I wanted to do that earlier.”
“What, eat me out?”
“No, I meant the high-five.”
She rolled her head to the side to look at him, amusement dancing in her eyes. He mirrored her, tilting his head to smile over at her. It reminded him a little of them as kids. They’d laid together like this, shoulder to shoulder, countless times before on front lawns and attic floors. Even beds, before puberty hit and it was frowned upon (but that was fine because it felt kind of weird to lay on a bed with a girl at 13 anyway). They had so much shared history. They just got each other in a way no one else really did. So even though the way they were currently sprawled out - half on his bed and almost completely naked between the two of them - was vastly different than the way they’d collapse after playing tag when they were seven, Zen knew that not everything was going to change. They’d always have each other. This wasn’t going to be the biggest mistake of their lives because neither of them would let it be.
“Right,” Kiki said. “How do you want it?”
“Huh?” Zen asked, pulling out of his thoughts.
“Yours.” She nodded towards his erection which was still very much present for the conversation. “Do you want me to blow you or ride you?”
“Huh?” he choked out.
She smirked. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you like it when I’m on top.”
Oh god. He didn’t know it was possible to get any harder than he already was, but he somehow found a way. He let out a strangled sound and said, “You don’t-”
“Zen, I swear to god if you tell me I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to one more time, I will put you in a headlock in the middle of campus so everyone can see how much you suck at self-defense.”
“I don’t suck! You’re just freakishly good at it.”
She ignored his protests and swung a let over his hips to settle over him in more or less the position they’d started in on the couch. She settled back against his dick and his hips twitched up into hers involuntarily. His hands flew to her hips to keep her right there.
“So?” she asked, planting her hands on his chest. “What’ll it be?”
“This,” he said quickly. “This. Please.”
She stared down at him for a long moment just to prove she could, then said, “Do you still keep your condoms by your bed?” She nodded towards the side table on the left side of his headboard.
He nodded. He supposed it was a little déclassé to keep them right next to the bed, but there was nothing worse than getting into it and having to stop to run to the bathroom for supplies.
She climbed off him to grab a foil packet and he took the opportunity to slip out of his boxer briefs and settle back against the pillows. Now that he was fully on the bed, Kiki was in less danger of falling backwards onto the floor. He definitely couldn’t drive her to the ER in his current state.
“Don’t judge me if I don’t last very long,” Zen said through gritted teeth as she rolled the condom on him.
She kissed him as she positioned him against her entrance, then slowly sank down.
“No judgements,” she murmured against his lips. She nipped at his earlobe as she started to move at a fast, punishing pace.
“It’s okay,” she told him, breath ghosting against his neck as her lips trailed down to his collarbone, then back up under his chin. “You can let go. You did so good for me earlier.”
Well he sure as shit wasn’t lasting after that. His fingers tightened on her hips and his own rose to meet hers once, twice. He came with a long groan that trailed off into a pant. He was pretty sure he saw stars from how hard he’d just come.
Kiki kissed him once more before rising up off him. He tied off the condom and tossed it in the trash while she went into the bathroom to wash up. Once she was done, she flipped the light off and slipped under the covers next to him.
He probably wouldn’t have asked if he hadn’t still been tipsy, but the liquid courage loosened his tongue enough to ask, “Can we cuddle?”
She simply looked over at him for long enough that he figured she was figuring out how to say yes without wounding her own pride. If she didn’t want to, she would have just said no. Which meant that she wanted to. Kiki liked cuddling. The night was truly full of surprised.
Eventually, she shifted over and laid her head down on his chest. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and smiled.
“This is nice,” he told her, dropping a kiss on to the crown of her head.
The slight puff of air he felt against his chest as she huffed out a laugh was the last thing he felt before drifting off to sleep.
——
Zen’s first thought upon waking the next morning was, “Ow.” The bruises he’d incurred last night were nothing compared to the obscenely loud alarm going off somewhere in the hallway. He felt like someone was tapping the bridge of his nose with a hammer.
He opened his eyes to slits and watched Kiki saunter out of the room like she wasn’t completely naked. She answered the call - most likely from her father if the I will be there in 45 minutes was anything to go by - then heard her wander around the apartment in a pattern he couldn’t follow. Zen vaguely wondered if she was going to slip out without saying anything and was trying to decide if that bothered him or not when she came back into the room mostly dressed and carrying a glass of water.
“For you,” she said, holding the glass out to him. “You look like shit.”
He sat up with a groan and took the water. No offense to Kiki in her bra and unbuttoned blouse, but the water was maybe the sexiest thing he’d seen all morning.
“Thank you,” he said, downing half of it in one go.
She took a seat near his knees and quietly began buttoning up her shirt. Once she’d finished, she said, “I have to go into work.”
“I heard.”
He didn’t really know what to do here, and from the way she was lingering neither did she. Refusing to overthink things, he poked her hip, gave her a smile, and said, “I had fun, you know.”
That was the right move. She flashed him an arrogant smile. “Trust me. I know.”
“You had fun, too.”
She tilted her head slightly. “Maybe.”
She was almost out of the bedroom before Zen said, “Hey, let’s do it again sometime.”
A slight pause in her steps was all the indication he got that he’d surprised her. She was fully out into the hallway before she replied, “You should be so lucky.”
Zen grinned as he heard her let herself out the front door. For Kiki, that was practically a resounding yes.
This piece is for @septhi. Because I lack will-power when presented with opportunities for evil, apparently.
The palace is silent, guests and residents alike sleeping off the excess of the previous nights’ celebrations. Morning sunlight spills though the curtains of the antechamber, illuminating particles of dust drifting across the quiet room. The dust is nearly the only source of movement in the room, aside from the breath of the man who stands guard before the double doors separating the space from the bedchamber within.
He stands at attention, arms crossed behind his back, one white-gloved hand wrapped around the other. Owing to the honor of his position, his uniform is elaborate and immaculate. The black wool is embroidered with rich gold thread, tailored to his broad frame, and starched so nary a winkle dares to mar the cut of the jacket, the high points of the collar, nor the line of the trousers tucked into polished leather boots. With each measured breath, the sunlight catches on the multitude of medals and badges displayed on his chest and the jewel embedded in the hilt of his ceremonial sword.
The sound of fabric rusting behind the door breaks the silence of the room, and his breath catches, gaze riveted to the ornately carved handles of the doors. His diligence is rewarded quickly with the whisper of footsteps crossing the room, and soft creak of the door swinging open.
She slips into the antechamber on slippered feet and gently closes the door behind her. He can’t bring himself to move, not beyond his gaze taking in her in. She is a vision clothed all in white – all soft-soled slippers and freshly laundered linen. Golden hair, grown as long as he had ever seen it, brushed and gathered over one shoulder. Porcelain skin, soft with recent sleep; unbroken perfection but for the slightest hint of a rosy bruise he wishes he hadn’t seen just peeking above the neck of her dressing gown.
His gaze reaches her face, composed as always, her eyes placid pools he thinks he may always drown in. Her brow quirks upwards, and he realizes he has yet to move, still frozen in time and place in that moment before that door had closed the night before. He has not yet acknowledged what happened the previous night could not be undone. He has not yet processed that she has slipped from his grasp, just as was planned. Just as he always wanted. Just as he never wanted.
She watches as he crosses the room to her, expression unreadable, and entirely unmoving aside from the slim hand she extends when he nears. He kneels before her, bowing over the sparkling sapphire forever binding her to another.
“Good morning, Your Highness.”
Also special thanks to Muselover1901 for typochecking for me :)
Kiki. But Zen is far too much a gentleman to mention it. (Also: he values his continued presence on this plain of existence)
- who takes out the trash
I spent a surprisingly long amount of time on this because, like, it’s not like either of them have had to do any housecleaning in their lives EVER, but I am going to go with Zen here. It would appall him to see Kiki taking out the garbage. (Of course, I also think that he would make a big show of it every time he does it. He would wait until it was getting just a liiiiiiiiiiittle too full and Kiki would mention something about taking it out this time and Zen would be like NO! *dramatic cape swirl* I WILL HANDLE THIS.)
- who hands out candy vs who takes the kid(s) trick or treating
Kiki is definitely the one to stay at home and hand out the candy while Zen absolutely loves going out trick or treating with the kids. Honestly, Kiki thinks he has more fun dressing up than the kids.
- who goes to parent teacher conferences
Zen. And he reports back with copious notes. Zen also is the one that gets called in if a kid gets sick and needs to be picked up just because he isn’t quite as scary as Kiki and he’s slightly more maternal than her. (Although if the kids do something wrong, they are more likely to call Kiki because she’ll be more :| at the kids than at the teachers. All about the accountability in this house.)
- who packs a lunch for the other to take to work
Zen... tries. Nobody can say he doesn’t try. He even subscribed to Blue Apron once! And then another time, he asked Obi to teach him! But he’s just... hopeless. It’s a skill you either have or you don’t. Kiki puts up with the tasteless mush he sent her to work with once, and then proceeded to download the grubhub app. Life’s too short for bad food XD (She always brought the tupperware home empty and clean, though! “Mmm!” she said, you know, like a liar.)
- leaves clothes all over the floor/in the laundry basket vs who puts them away
Zen leaves his clothes all over the floor, leaving Kiki to grumble to herself and pick up after him.
- who organizes the DVDs and books
Kiki. She’s the one that brings most of the DVDs and books into the house, so it is only fair that she organize them.
- who has a million magazine subscriptions
Kiki. It goes with her #aesthetic. After work, kids in bed, glass of wine in hand, feet propped up, US WEEKLY open on the couch beside her, Zen’s head in her lap, and trash TV playing in the dark.
- who has a name for the stray neighborhood cat
Zen is the one that unofficially adopted them and therefore the reason that they hang out by their house after dark. Kiki is the one that started pointing at them and naming them after their friends. Zen pretended to be affronted for all of five seconds before he started giggling, pointed at this giant friendly Tabby and said “Okay, but that one is Mitsuhide.”
- who walks around naked at night and forgets the living room window is open
Kiki. She likes the fresh air on her skin, even if she doesn’t realize where that fresh air came from.
“Who’d have thought we’d end up here?” Zen maneuvers Kiki through the steps of the dance, his gloved hand steady under her fingers.
His brother, of course, but she doesn’t say it. “Not me,” she answers instead. “Not when you made such a terrible first impression.”
He almost misses a step, but recovers smoothly. He’s been just as well-taught as she has. “Aside from Mitsuhide thinking you were a boy, what was so bad about it?”
The pattern separates them, and as they turn and bow with their opposites, Kiki has time to collect her thoughts. He doesn’t remember. Her smile falls, forgotten.
But the best thing about having married a friend is that she doesn’t have to hide herself for him. “You don’t remember the river,” she says, and she knows she was right by the blankness in his face. Her first instinct is to tell the story, but something stops her. It’s probably a blessing for him not to know. She hasn’t had the nightmare for years, the log breaking beneath their feet, the water pushing its way into her lungs, the sad little boy’s hand held tight in hers.
It’s more than he needs to remember. “Your mother brought you to visit us, once, when we were little.” She forces a smile, as though it were a pleasant memory. “You knocked me into the river and ruined my best dress.”
There’s a wrinkle between Zen’s brows as he bows for the end of the dance. Not of remembering, but he knows her too well, he knows it’s not the whole story, and his voice is cautious when he speaks at last. “Good thing I get the chance to make it up to you now.”
She was wrong thinking that she could get used to Wistal, with all of its hot summers and radiating sun each and every day, where people roamed the streets with light and long gowns and a fan in hand to disguise the heat. And even though she did not belong far north, where people would need to wrap each part of their bodies in thick wool and leather, to shield their skin from the cold that seemed to last all year round, she likes it.
It's not as home, but it is close to it.
Kiki never considered herself to be the type to get homesick to a place, she can't possibly miss the cold sun in the north when it is the same one that rises in the south, but still, something in her heart aches and warms at the same time upon the sight of snow-covered streets, the way her coat is thick and tight around her body to cover all the crevasses and hold the warmth in and the cold out.
It is odd, because it has forever been the matter of who she was with rather than where she was.
Obi and Shirayuki managed to drag Mitsuhide to a nearby shop across the street and a little to the right, something about Mitsuhide being able to melt the shopkeeper's heart and possibly get them a discount.
Shirayuki looks taken aback by the immorality of the plan but appears amused nonetheless.
Besides her, Zen laughs, his voice a burst of joy as he leans back on his arms on the bench, this floods her mind with memories of her early visits to the castle, before she was even assigned to be Zen's trustworthy knight, she was the daughter of an earl, there to gain the royal family's favour in order to protect her own house, by charming the young prince into her hand, rumours from how she both looked and acted similar to her mother.
Beautiful and seductive, but for her own good.
Zen seemed to be the only one to treat her decently, to treat her as a friend, along with Mitsuhide. And for once, her stay in the castle did not seem as horrible as she foreseen it to be. It was nice to, for once, be treated not as Kiki Seiran, but as Kiki.
And somehow that managed to drag on to how getting married to the second prince would not be as bad, even if it meant carrying the weight of both her house and this country on her shoulders, barely sharing the weight of one. But being married to a friend... doesn't sound as bad.
But that was from another time, she no longer needs to consider the complication of either marrying a prince nor a knight, not anymore. She has no place seeking a husband now, not to mention that she is also currently engaged.
When did things get so complicated so quickly?
Kiki was, and will forever be, the type of woman to take everything slowly, with great caution, every move precisely calculated. But now, things seemed to be going too fast for her even to comprehend.
And her breathing seems to be following the same rhythm.
Her hand tightens in the well-fitted wool of her coat and for the first time, she misses the several layers covering her body, she could always hide her shaking hands in the folds and ruffles without the notice or pity of others. Kiki bites her lower lip, making her teeth sink into the flesh, hoping that the pain will distract her body from her stinging eyes.
Her eyes wander off quickly, maybe she can sneak off to a shop nearby to calm herself before Zen or Mitsuhide-
Mitsuhide...
"Kiki" the way Zen speaks her name is simple, it does not sound like a question nor a command, Zen calls her name to let her know that she is here, that he is here with her, that he was, and will always be, with her.
She bravely takes a decision to use the last bit of her voice, hoping that she is still strong enough to form words "is your offer still up?
"Hmm?" he is now looking at her, but she takes another deep breath, the cold air cooling her body as she inhales through her nose, she then meets his eyes.
"Is your chest still available for me?" Her eyes sting again, sharper than before, and she knows that blinking would only cause the first tear to leave the hiding of her eye, paving the way for a flood to follow.
Zen's arms wrap around her shoulders just as her eyes burst into tears, staining his shoulder before even touching the cold air. She nuzzles her face into the crook of his shoulder and allows her chest to shake and shudder as imprisoned feelings and tears run free.
He doesn't say anything, but his arms are tight and gentle, their presence reassuring, grounding her to the small reality where she is with him, where he has her back, where she is safe from all the prying eyes of the world.
She feels his fingers gently twisting the tips of her tied hair before his hand trails up to her head, where his fingers rest between the long strands. Her hands tighten at his back and he lets his head lean again hers as he whispers something, several things, that she can't quite understand over the wind brushing not far away from her ears and her own pounding heart.
Her chest feels light, lighter than she ever felt in years, a feeling she never thought she'd ever experience with such ease after she was burdened with responsibilities that she herself agreed to carry.
Not needing friends, not needing anyone.
People passing by walk without even turning an eye to her, not when Zen had his cape thrown over her back, blending her in with his own body, concealing her from the world. She never thought she'd be afraid of people's eyes when it was her entire life's work to please and work for them.
When her crying stops and her body calms, she reaches to pull herself away from him, her hands falling from his back to his arms to support herself, for if her body betrayed her once, it could do so again, but Zen holds her still for a longer moment "you can stay longer if you want" his hand falls from her hair to her lower back and every place is hand touches burns "they'd understand"
Kiki chuckles and squeezes his torso to hers for a second longer before pulling back. She doesn't meet his eyes, not knowing whether hers are red and puffed or not, but the look on Zen's face when she does confirms it.
One hand moves to rest on his chest, where his heart beats fast under her palm, a rhythm she knows is from worry, one he is trying to contain in order to handle her own.
"I'm fine" she breaths and her fingers twitch once at the thought of losing this warmth to the distance between them again "thank you" her hand falls from his chest just as her eyes do from his.
It is only one breath, a long deep breath that she is able to take before she feels a much-needed warmth against her cheek.
Ah! Right. He doesn't wear his gloves often when they go out like this.
"Kiki" he says with a sigh, his thumb brushing just below her eye, where the skin is still sensitive from the salt of her tears "don't ever think that you're alone. Ever"
Her heart flutters, and she releases a breath she wasn't aware she was even holding in.
"Thank you, your highness" the word leave her mouth effortlessly. Honest.
Zen smiles, gently moving her head downward for his lips press to her forehead, right where her hair parts and falls around her face to frame it.
"Anytime" when his hand falls from her face it holds her hand for a short moment before they are called, but he only lets go when she stands up on her feet.
