you can hear it in the silence

Alex. 30s. She/her.

[twinkhole-destroyer]

but babe you love being chained to the radiator

[fuckrozanov]

goodmorning this is your assigned shane of the day

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

[persisting]

No sorry this is not staying in the tags @academicgangster

[elokitties]

tyrant every time I ride it every time I ride it make it look so good try to justify it boy I know they're lookin for me how we gonna hide it?? ride it like hydraulics I am such a tyrant

[capacity2]

Im not compatible with a single person on the entire planet

[decadentlorenzocollector-deacti]

not El rebloging, when she is compatible w me😩

[elsagism]

You know what, you're right *kisses you*

[decadentlorenzocollector-deacti]

come here my love *spins you around*

[capacity2]

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[clingyduoapologist]

Your friend’s unpublished fic idea is kind of a dead wife

[dazzling-galaxy]

i also want to read this guy’s dead wife

[rotting-malice]

you can make friends online and you will be rewarded with pictures of their cats

[blluish]

[cassettecolonthree]

people have lots of pet peeves with guys being/being called grunglers. i dont care abt any of that. my annoyance is that in the original tweet the guy himself was not the grungler, the messed up dark souls character he made while on call with strange transsexuals was the grungler. ur all misusing the term

[bruisedskin-chippednails]

grungler's monster

[cassettecolonthree]

[exitwound]

interviewer: can you explain this gap in your resume?

me: mhm so that’s called a lacuna. it refers to when manuscripts have missing parts, lost to time. for example, the epic of gilgamesh has

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

unpopular opinion probably but I actually like that ao3 doesn’t let people take back their kudos.

unlike social media platforms (which ao3 is not) where people unlike stuff whenever they think or find out the original posters’ moral compass doesn’t perfectly align with their own’s or whatever, and “likes” can be taken back at any time, ao3 treats kudos as something sacred. once you give it, it’s the author’s to keep forever.

[writinginasnowglobe]

i think ilya would sometimes use the stupidest things to ragebait shane like one night ilya sees their cens hoodies that have their numbers hanging up in their closet and he says something about how 2 times 4 is 8 so those cancel out and then ilya still has a 1 which is why he's number 1 and that's why he's the best hockey player duh and shane gets unbelievably ragebaited by that. and then they fuck about it. obviously.

[enchantedbook]

'Fireflies at Ochanomizu' by Kobayashi Kiyochika , 1880

[gumy-shark]

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

[prokopetz]

The closer to the modern era you get the more fascinating "lost at sea" becomes as a backstory element. Being lost at sea in 1612 is a downright normal kind of lost to be. Being lost at sea in 2012 is like, okay, back up – I need to hear this one.

[prokopetz]

Like, come on, man.