── .✦ Harumasa makes a little wish after waking up from a nightmare.
WARNING(S): Brief mentions of blood, IV lines, and syringes.
NOTE: I just want to give him the tightest hug. 😞 Anyway, YAYY 1.4 is here!
White crows. Bustling city streets. Murmuring crowd. Flashing cameras. Accusing fingers pointing right at him.
Why is he here again?
Wake up. He needs to wake upーalas, misfortune has always been rather fond of him. No matter how much his mind screams, his body just refuses to listen. Imprisoned in a nightmare, all he can do is run in circles, a promise of escape nowhere within his reach.
The weight of his choker feels heavier than it should, and yet, he still thinks it should be wrapped around him tighter. Is he still human? With trembling hands, he holds his neck. His fingertips are cold. His body is cold. Are humans supposed to be so cold?
People are closing in, adamant about their accusations. A white flash blinds his eyes.
Wake up, wake up, wake upー
Syringes scattered all over the floor. Beeping machines. IV lines twist and tangle.
When will this end?
A room of broken mirrors. Ethereals reflected in the shards. A man in white coat. A child screaming. Blood on the walls. Blood on the floors. Blood on his handsー
"Haaー"
Finally.
His breath is heavy as he stares at the ceiling, eyes wide as if he were never asleep in the first place. Deep breath. In and out, in and out. He closes his eyes and tries to imagine other things. Something happier. Or something... less bitter, at least. But all he can see is himself; cursed and broken and everything he wishes he is not. Thus, he opens his eyes again, not wanting to see such a miserable view.
Another restless night for him, it seems.
As an attempt to cast his thoughts aside, he turns his attention to you.
...
You are snuggled up to him, seemingly all too comfortable and in bliss. Adorable. But isn't this when you should be awake and give him comfort? How could you be dead asleep whilst he was terrorised by his nightmares? How utterly unbelievable. Should he be offended? He should be offended, right? Instead, he scoffs in amusement. It would be nice to have you comforting him right now, but then again, he would not have known how to respond to such warmth.
He much rather you stay asleep anyway. Ignorance is bliss, no? He doesn't want to burden you. Plus, the fact that you feel safe enough in his presence to sleep so soundly puts him at ease. Seeing you like this alone is a form of reassurance. He knows he is still human when you are by his side.
He shifts slightly, bringing you closer to him, carefully so.
Harumasa is still getting used to these physical touches. More often than not, the hugs he shared with you were short, and so, too, your kisses. They rarely ever lasted longer than needed to be. He would joke and say that he has a clock-out countdown for his display of affection, when deep down he was struggling with his own fears. "If you want another kiss, then you'll have to wait after dinner," he would tease, even though all he wanted was to pull you back in. He wonders if you ever realized how much he actually longs for you.
Brushing his hand against yours when you walk next to each other. Lingering touches after messing up your hair. Glancing at you from across the room. Squeezing you in his arms before pulling away from a hug. Have you ever noticed?
Regardless, even the strongest man has moments of weakness. No matter how good he may be at concealing his true feelings, there were times when his vulnerability seeped through the firm walls he has built around him. There was a time he held your hands so tight, his lips chasing after yours, one kiss after another. There was a time he told you to stay and keep him warm, snarky tone out the window.
And now is another moment of vulnerability. Is he a child, needing comfort after a nightmare he has grown so accustomed to? No. He is very much a mature adult, so used to bitterness; pills and life and everything in between. The debate goes on in his mind, but it doesn't stop him from holding you tighter. It doesn't stop him from wishing that you would stay by his side... no matter what the future holds.
Is that a childish wish? Is that too much to ask for? Still, he yearns for itーthe little bit of sweetness in his bitter, bitter life.
Yknow, I’ve been wondering for a while, why whenever I search for ‘x reader’ content, I mostly find male characters? I mean, I don’t mind (pretty obvious, since I wrote for guys myself), but sometimes I wish people would write for female characters too.
