Send “RIP” and I’ll write a drabble of Clementine dying. || ( ACCEPTING. ) || @zombeam
Title: stay here, with us.Summary: With prolonged labor came many complications, even for a girl like Clementine. This wasn’t going to end well.Characters: Clementine, James, Ruby, Mrs. Martin, Ben Paul ( mentioned ), AJ ( mentioned ), Willy ( mentioned ), Jasper ( mentioned ), Therissa ( mentioned ), Aasim ( mentioned ).Disclaimer: I don’t own The Walking Dead.Prompt: Clementine dies giving birth to her child.Rating: TWarning(s): Character death, childbirth.A/N: This is honestly one of the hardest things I’ve ever written, I hated myself for doing this to poor Clem. I might have cried. Like. 10 times. I’M SO SORRY. Also, the identity and the fate father of the child is purposely left ambiguous so it’s up to your imagination to figure out who it is! Clementine died at age twenty two. Tagging @prctecthem and @keptmanners because I want them to suffer with us, too. :’DDD
She was three weeks early.
She was three weeks early, and they were stuck in an hotel resort for tourists in the mountains, far away from home in the high end of The Commonwealth, nearly half an entire day worth of travel by foot for even the fastest horse or car. Not even a miracle could get a doctor with proper supplies to get here on time—especially not in this weather. The snowstorm was horrendous and the homeless would starve and die in the wilderness. When the clerk was about to order them to leave, James had grabbed the man by the collar and glared death into his eyes, after having raised his voice, raining hellfire on the poor man - something that was quite rare to see from someone as quiet and as soft-spoken as James.
“I won’t have a Whisperer leave his filthy hide and stench all over this hotel.” The clerk sneered, before a hand with the skin of dead men wrapped around his collar.
“James!” Mrs Martin scolded, “Put him down now, this won’t change anything!” But he paid no mind.
“Either help us or get the fuck out. This is the Lady of the Enlightenment and you can have her outside over my dead, cold body.” James seethed.
“Damn right!” Ruby affirmed in approval, “We aren’t having it. You’re being an ungracious host so let us HAVE A DAMN ROOM SO OUR LEADER CAN GIVE BIRTH TO HER CHILD.”
They were lucky enough to have found refuge in the resort and to have Mrs Martin and Ruby there with them, but that was as far as their good karma went. Ben and Aasim had been left in charge of the children back at their little hotel in The Commonwealth while James, Ruby and Mrs Martin had accompanied her on the little hike that Clem had decided to embark on. The children hadn’t truly enjoyed winter in a very long time and so she’d requested that AJ, Willy, Jasper and Therissa enjoy themselves by playing with the other children of the settlement with Ben and Aasim keeping a close watch over them. She’d looked so happy at the prospect of finally seeing snow again without the feeling of dread hanging over her, her golden eyes sparkling with happiness.
James knew he shouldn’t have let her leave. Something in the back of his mind knew how dangerously stressful it could be on her body—but Clementine had been so energetic, and the pregnancy had gone so well. She’d won him and her friends over in the end, after nearly an hour spent arguing over her health. Clementine had been confident that her baby would do well and stay duteously within her belly until their estimated due date neared.
“She is a good baby,” she reassured, rubbing the swell of her stomach with a loving smile. “And I can feel it… she’s very comfortable in there! I wouldn’t be surprised if she wouldn’t want to come out and had to become a post-term baby!”
Yet for nine hours now, James had watched his best friend and someone he considered as a sister writhe and struggle in the tiny house bed, panting and wheezing out pained, keening whines. He’d allowed her hand to squeeze his as hard as she dared, responding only with a supportive squeeze of his own, gritting his teeth in worry. This wasn’t good.
The labor had been difficult on Clementine; stressing her body and mind to the point of exhaustion, causing her to lose consciousness sometimes when it became too much to handle. He had gently prodded her awake every time, brushing damp hair out of her feverish face, trying not to sound as distressed as he felt when he murmured tight, encouraging words to keep going.
“I’m right here,” he said, voice thick. He lifted her hand to press his forehead against the back of it. “I’m right here, so hang in there, Clem.” His brows drew together, and he swallowed tightly, whispering, “Hang in there.”
His gaze shifted to Mrs Martin and Ruby at the foot of the bed, noting the look of concentration and concern painted so clearly across their features. His hand tightened around his best friend’s, stress pooling in his belly with enough intensity to make him feel sick.
“Remember to breathe, Clem,” Ruby called. “Slow breaths. You’re going to have to start pushing soon, and we can’t do that with you feeling light-headed.”
“It hurts,” Clementine rasped, wrenching her head to the side and gritting her teeth. “I’m trying but it—oh god, it hurts.”
Her nails dug in his skin, but he paid no mind to the pinching. He merely pressed his lips reassuringly to her clenching fingers, squeezing his eyes shut. His best friend was a strong woman, the strongest he knew, with years of relentless, brutal training under her skin. She did not easily yield to pain.
Which is why he was so shaken, seeing her like this. Childbirth wasn’t supposed to be this painful.
Something… something was wrong.
“I know,” Mrs Martin said, full of empathy and support. “I know it hurts, sweetie, but you need to keep breathing through the pain, or your baby won’t have enough oxygen.”
At Clementine’s worried, choked out sob, James stroked his hand comfortingly down the length of her arm, his anxious eyes finding her own. A few tears slipped when he nodded at her, confident of her strength, and his heart swelled with pride when she leaned her head back against the pillow and closed her eyes, making efforts to steady her frantic gasps.
“That’s it, Clem. Slow breaths,” Ruby encouraged. “You’re going to have to start pushing soon, okay?”
When Clementine nodded, the red haired medic gestured to him to get his attention. When she did, she requested solemnly, “James, I’m gonna need you to get me some more hot water, please.” At his look of protest, she pressed, “She’s about to start pushing out her child, and I need hot water to help make sure the procedure goes as smoothly as can be. If you value their health, you can absent yourself for a few minutes and help me and Mrs Martin make sure that everything goes without further complications.”
His mind stayed frozen on the last words, breath hitching a little. He had been right in his assumption that something had been wrong.
But with a reluctant nod, he gave one last kiss to his best friend’s hand and whispered a promise to return, before disappearing in the kitchen of the small house, tenser than he’d ever been in his life.
Swallowing hard, James tried not to pay mind to the bad feeling swirling in the pit of his stomach.
When he stepped back into the room a while later, James nearly dropped the bowl at the sight of the blood covering the bed sheets, feeling himself growing faint.
His fear was quickly appeased as Mrs Martin noticed him by the door and smiled, wiping the sweat at her brow with her forearm.
“It’s alright,” she reassured, gesturing him over. “Some blood is normal in childbirth. Can you come set the bowl on that stool there? I’ll be in need of it soon—Clementine’s about to start pushing.”
James hesitated, then nodded. He strode over to abide to her request. When he’d set down the bowl, he hurriedly padded over to Clementine’s side. His lips mulled together worriedly at her form panting harshly, body overcome with tremors. She gave him a pained smile, her hand searching for his. He slipped his fingers between hers without a moment’s breath, letting her cling to him.
“James,” she uttered, bleary-eyed. Her hand clenched his tighter.
“I’m here,” he whispered, brushing sweaty locks from her hair. His thumb brushed her cheek, his eyes warm and resilient. “I’m right here. I’m not leaving you.”
“Are you ready, Clem?” Ruby asked.
She broke their gaze and tipped her head back, squeezing his hand and taking in shallow breaths. She nodded.
“Push!”
Her grip tightened around him, nearly cracking his bones, but James held onto her, steadfast, teeth gritting together as she choked back a cry and quivered, tears slipping down her cheeks.
“Push!”
Another wrenched out cry, another squeeze, and James’ stomach churned, lips brushing in encouragement on his best friend’s hand.
“Push!”
Her body jolted backwards, head knocking against the wall, and he stiffened, mind fogging at her deafeningly sharp, crippling scream. He’d heard screams like that before, far, far away in his past.
“Push!”
Her face twisted in agony, body shaking against the intolerable pain, and he couldn’t help but to look away, unable to bear looking at her like this. He could never stand seeing her hurt.
His hands squeezed hers harder, and he hoped it was enough.
“Push!”
Another cry tore out of her mouth, and he felt his stomach turn again, eyes slipping shut angrily. He felt so helpless. Should he have taken those medical lessons Ruby had offered to give him, all those months ago?
He wished he would have.
“Come on, Clem, don’t let up! Just a little more! You’re almost there!” Ruby encouraged.
“C'mon,” he muttered, more to himself than to her. He pressed a trembling kiss to her hand. “C'mon, Clem. Hold on. Don’t give up.”
“Push!”
He heard his best friend shout once more; heard the exhaustion and strenuous effort, heard her sobs of torturous suffering. Heard her straining to endure, to do her best to put their child safely to this world.
And her agony was so acute that James found he wanted nothing more than to vomit, unable to endure seeing her like this anymore. It was simply cruel. Vicious.
Clementine didn’t deserve this.
But then a cry ripped into the room, one new and young and so very, very fragile, and James’ heart stopped in his chest, disbelief washing over his face. He felt his mind spinning with startling clarity, head lifting to peer over their clasped hands.
When his wide eyes settled over a very red-purple, wailing mess, covered in blood and fluids that Mrs Martin was already cleaning off, he lost his breath, and felt his heart swell with relief.
Her child was born.
He couldn’t take his eyes off her, as the older woman checked her over and washed off the grime from her purplish-red skin, before closely wrapping their newborn in a warm, fluffy towel. Feeling a wave of intense, intense love and pride wash over him, he leaned his forehead on their still joined hands and pressed a few quick, warm kisses there, something like a breathless laugh leaving him. She was so—
“Beautiful,” Mrs Martin said, as if reading his thoughts. Or maybe she could see it on his face. Standing from her seat, she took a few steps and carefully offered him the tiny child, smiling. “That is one healthy baby girl.” Ruby encouraged gently, wiping away sweat from her forehead.
Shaking, James slipped his hand from his best friend’s and reached out to accept the bundle, cradling her so carefully against his chest, lips dipping down so he could kiss her small head. He shifted his hold until he was confident she was safely tucked in one arm, fingers of his free hand brushing her pudgy little cheek as he looked down at her with the tiniest smile.
He turned to his best friend, unperturbed to the feeling of proud tears welling at the corners. He didn’t care if the older woman babbled about the all-too-famously-formerly-callous-Whisperer cried at the birth of his best friend’s daughter—he was happy.
But that happiness dropped short in his stomach as his eyes landed on Clementine’s pale, still face.
“…Clem?” he murmured, reaching to touch her hand.
It was cold.
He recoiled with maddening shock, grasping her hand tighter. “Clementine…!”
She stirred a bit, but so weakly he felt dread creep into his bloodstream. She wasn’t doing well, and if they didn’t get help soon—
He heard a sound like a gasp somewhere behind him, but his mind seemed to pay no mind, seize by the terrorizing fear towards his best friend’s condition. Blood pounded in his ears, so much their surroundings faded around him, and the fumbling of the stressed Mrs Martin and Ruby became nothing but buzzing noise.
“…James…” she murmured, her voice thick with fatigue, her breaths unstable and too soft. She blinked slowly, so slowly, half shuttered golden eyes hazy and unfocused. “…How is she…? How… how’s my baby girl…?”
His throat grew tight, and grief struck over him, different tears clouding his vision. Squeezing her hand, he replied hoarsely, “Perfect. She’s perfect, Clem.”
A relieved smile spreads across her lips, one so frail and fragile it had him getting choked up, because god, he knew where this was heading, he knew what that meant—knew that if Clementine slipped out of consciousness right now, she wouldn’t ever wake up.
“Good…” she whispered, head lulling to the side. He stiffened and reached out to cup her sweaty face, feeling his legs shake. “I’m so glad…” She leaned into his touch, eyes fluttering shut. “But… I’m so tired… So I think I’ll rest… at least for a little while… you can take care of her, right… James…?”
The tears threatened to spill, and he rasped out her name, bowing his body into hers. He pressed her child between them, wrapping her arms carefully around her baby.
“In a bit,” he said, his smile tight and quivering as he brushed his lips to her feverish forehead. “Let’s talk a little more,” he went on, cupping her face. “Or I can talk, and you can just listen, right?”
“S'kay…” she murmured to him. “It’s gon'be ‘kay… Promise… me…”
Her fingers twitched, like she was trying to move it, to touch him, and he clenched his teeth to drown the imperceptible noise of anguish in his throat. His hands found hers in a tight grip, and this time, it was him who clung to her.
“Stay with me,” he begged. His head dropped to her chest, heart tightening so painfully in his chest at her sickeningly slow heartbeat. “Stay with us.” He touched her beautiful baby girl’s head with such desperation admits his gentleness. He looked up at her, but her eyes were closed. The tears sting harder. “Your daughter needs you.”
Clementine took one breath, and then another, and then another. His heart was thunderous in his ears as he felt the constant rise and drop of her stomach—the proof that she was still alive.
And then one long, deafeningly silent moment later, she exhaled… and didn’t take another breath.
Ruby began sobbing, her hands cupped over her faces, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry,” Mrs Martin whispered, weeping quietly as she stared at her blood-soaked hands. “I’m so, so sorry. I did… I did everything I…” Her shoulders shook harder, and she bowed a little into herself, ashamed. “There was nothing I could do.”
With tired, misty eyes and a numbed out heart, James kept his gaze on Clementine’s sleeping baby girl and continued to rock her gently, fingers tracing her tuft of dark brown hair and poking her soft cheeks. He could only hope she would grow to look more like Clementine, in looks and soul.
Because maybe then she wouldn’t be so sad about never meeting her mother. Maybe looking at herself in the mirror, and seeing her staring right back—maybe that would be enough.
“Papa’s here,” he murmured to his adopted daughter, the warm tears finally slipping over his cheeks. “Papa’s here, and he’s gonna take care of you. We’re gonna be alright.”
It had to be enough.
A/N: I know I’m the devil incarnate please don’t kill me ALGJAGJGAGAJLGAGAJ
YOU CAN YELL AT ME ALL YOU WANT THO I DESERVE THAT
“I’m so proud of you, you know that?” ( from ms. martin uwu )
“...What for?” Clementine can’t help but ask, slowly turning to look back at her from behind her shoulder as she stopped in her tracks. She didn’t deserve the praise. “...All I’ve ever done was cause more unnecessary deaths.”
The chips in the bag are stale which is to be expected, so he’s just going to have to use his imagination to think of something better to distract himself from the awful taste in his mouth now. Ugh. Dark brown eyes flicker down to the bag as he rests his arm on his bent leg. He regards her shortly after, canting his head to the side curiously. Louis likes conversation a lot more than just sitting and eating in silence. “ Hey, so, what’s one food you miss the most? ”
When he was first admitted to Ericson, Tenn was delighted by the idea of bunk beds and was eager to spend as much time as possible in the top bunk, where he could be tall and see everything and play pretend to his heart’s content.
Since the apocalypse, however, he’s developed an unsettling series of intrusive thoughts about what could be lurking under him if he sleeps in the top bunk. He couldn’t tell you exactly what it is that worries him, or why, but he feels safer sleeping in the bottom bunk unless there are other people in the room with him to keep an eye out.
