The idea: shallow hall au bc i was obsessed with gaypiratepirate aus (and bc i watched the movie and was boiling with anger), where sanji is blessed/cursed to only see beauty by the "how perfect the person is for you" and zoro is gorgeous BUT THE JUST THE RUNDOWN BC I WAS TOO LAZY TO ACTUALLY DO AN INTRO
Name of draft: shallow hal au
wordcount: 658
"You can stop doing that now." Zoro was looking at Sanji in the eye, had his eyebrows furrowed.
Strawhats get to the Baretie or however it's spelled, but Zoro's asleep so they leave him on the boat. They order shtt and Sanji sees them in how they og look.
After flirting with yet another girl, Sanji goes for a smoke and sees the Michael Jackson looking guy. They have a convo how all these cute girls are cool and all but he can't really find somebody who suits him well enough for him to be whipped. He goes ok bet from now on you'll see the inner beauty and people by how compatible you are to them.
Sanji's like uhhh ok? whatever so fighty thing happeneds and the most gorgeous greenhaired bombshell comes down from one of the ships, she's part of the shrawhats. He is immediately head overhead heals but he keeps his cool plus not a good time. maybe he makes a remark about how beautiful Zoro is but they don't actually have a conversation. The duel happens and sanji is both pissed and so much more in love. A creature this beautiful AND this honorable? damn.
Ussop accidentally bumps into MJ guy when he's hiding and they both hear Sanji simping for Zoro and MJ goes huh, so that's how my hypnosis works. Sanji fresks cuz wtf does that even mean and wtf r u doing here??? so MJ guy explains and tells that the phrase is "shallow sanji needs a spous" or smth
They defeat the guys and Sanji joins the crew. He didn't remember Luffy being this oddly handsome and it's a bit distracting but uh... ok ... he asks around what zoro likes and puts his whole sanjussy into making the most delicious onigiri for zoro and then just watches him absolutely devour them like a caveman. (he is so in love)(zoro thinks the staring is weird)
after a few attempts of sanji's horrid rizzing (zoro starts to think it's kinda sweet bc he's love deprived and almost as deranged as Sanji) and Zoro's correction of everything/instaalling the fear of gender equality in him, zoro finally goes all:
"Stop what, Zoro my love?" Sanji swooned and the latter grinded his teeth.
"You know what I'm talking about. This whole" he gestured at Sanji "act. Stop making fun of me or whatever this is, it's getting on my damn nerves."
Sanji's smile melted into a serious expression. "I would never make fun of such a beautiful creature. Who the hell said I was making fun of you. Every compliment I made was honest."
Zoro was a bit taken aback. "You're actually insane you know that?" he couldn't help but suppress a smile. How could he not find this a little bit funny.
Sanji fell to one knee and grabbed one of Zoro's hands. "I'm sorry for not being clear before so let me say this outright:" Zoro was a bit scared of what he was going to say. On one hand he wanted to pull his hand away and throw hands, on the other - he was growing fond of the cook and he wanted to see where this would go "Will you do me the honor of going on a date with me?" Sanji finished dramatically.
What the hell?
"What the hell?"
"I will not pressure you, but please take my request into consideration and make me the happiest man alive!"
Zoro felt his face heat up from the second hand embarrassment. What was this guy thinking anyway? He slapped his hand away "Yeah, yeah I'll think about it. Now stop acting like a weirdo, you're freaking me out." He could feel Ussop and Nami's gossip-loving glares burn the back of his neck.
"Yeah," Sanji cleared his throat snd stood up "sorry my love- I mean marimo." He smiled, proud with his choice of words.
Zorro decided to not overthinking things and just sleep on it. After all, the afternoon was such a good time for naps.
