#zufu

[theespiraling]

helena eagan is arguably the funniest character in television. oh my innie hijacked me and stole my body to expose the truth about severance? oh sorry guys i was really drunk and also i had an arm rash sorry about that. wait what my innie is lowkey pulling? yeah lemme rewind that tape real quick. actually rewind that a few more times. actually you know what would make the most sense maybe i should just go in as a spy, and if i have to get laid by my innie's hot pathetic boss oh well! yeah and if that doesn't work out maybe i could go find his outie at a chinese restaurant? and have the awkwardest conversation known to man? but it's okay because there's this underlying sexual tension?? and i really think i could be on to something here!!

[sconeverance]

Severance - "In Perpetuity" (1x03, 2022) Severance - "Hello, Ms. Cobel" (2x01, 2025) Severance - "Attila" (2x06, 2025) Severance - "Chikai Bardo" (2x07, 2025)

[illumonate]

helena you can’t just ask someone that …

[girlfailure-helena]

[head-of-the-company]

[brittlesoldier]

Imagine you're eating at a Chinese restaurant and the daughter of Jeff Bezos who you fucked less than 24h ago runs into you and tells you to come meet her daddy. And you, a cheating loser, start flirting with her because you forgot her daddy has your wife locked in the basement. You get so horny you feel guilty and go home to get a lobotomy in hopes to get your wife back but you can only remember fucking Jeff Bezos' daughter in the office.

Happened to my good friend Mark Scout

[lowkeyyashell]

that awkward ass handshake gets me everytime... dude you put those fingers inside her mere hours ago. and the fact that he lets her wait a few seconds till he returns the handshake with his less dirty hand lol you should kiss the ground she walks on you barbaric fuck

[severe-thoughts-and-feelings]

got this haircut today and now i'm feeling the urge to stalk a specific depressed man in a specific chinese restaurant