Tengku Syamil's Blog @tahmadsyamil - Tumblr Blog

I've avoided working in teams

Because disagreements are inevitable.

We all with different exposure. Different level of understanding on different topics. Come together. There are bound to be disagreement in approaches.

No matter how clearly you try to reason.

There are also biases and ego that blurs things. The wanting to be right. The wanting to prove you know what you're talking about. The unwillingness to admit that you're wrong, even when proven.

We're all just humans with flaws and emotions.

And that makes it hard to work with people.

What worries me is ruining good relationships. With people that I care about. That's always the dilemma.

But, if you can find a way to make things work though. Despite the differences, despite the disagreement. That's where magic happens.

And if you want to do things of big impact, you need to have a supportive circle. One that trust and can rely on one another. That's the probably the only way to do something that can leave a lasting multi-generational impact. A good example is to think about how the Prophet has his peers that he can rely on (with the permission of Allah). So if that is of your interest, you need to try to make things work. Find the right peers. Don't get triggered to easily. Have patience. And try to make things work.

Previously, I built small web apps using chatgpt without actually knowing how to code.

Recently, i got introduced toCursor and Replit.

It's supposed to be even better than coding with Chatgpt.

I've tested them out over the weekend.

At this point, gets how I'd rank them:

The best is Cursor, then chatgpt and third Replit.

So far, i haven't got anything to work with Replit. But it's still in Alpha. Maybe it'll get better in the future.

It’s easy to run away when things start to get hard. To find other things to do to avoid doing the hard things. It’s your life, so it’s really up to you if you want to make that kind of decisions. To only work on the easy things.

But. If you have ambitions for greater things. If you have aspirations to see changes happening in the world. If you want to bring yourself to the next level, whatever that maybe. You need to face those tough things. Make hard decisions. Do the work.

You need to show up. Gather your courage, motiva yourself and show up.

As a leader, part of your work is to remove blockers

One of the key things you do when you lead a team is to delegate. You assign tasks and responsibilities to your people, and you monitor to ensure they do the work they're supposed to do at the level thats needed.

It doesn't end there.

You also need to proactively find out if there's anything thats preventing your team from doing the best that they can.

It can be task-related or beyond that, like their morale, workplace distractions or equipment-related.

If there are, part of your work as a leader to resolve that. Fix those problems so they can focus on the important things and deliver quality work.

If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.

I resonate with this idea a lot.

I've always been the kind to prefer working alone because it's faster. No coordinate, no discussion, just do.

However, I acknowledge that while working with others can be slower in the short run, it can help you go further. Especially when you manage to figure out a way to play by each other's strength and you get to rally people to work towards the same direction. That's a lot of work on its own, but you have to do it if you want the project to go far.

What about if you want to go far and fast?

Then you have to find the right people. Invest more time selecting the people you work with. You still have to go through the whole team-building struggles, but with the right group, it'll be faster.

Personally, I hate the team-building struggling phase. Because sometimes things dont work out. And sometimes relationships get burnt in that struggle.

But what choice do I have if I want my work to go far in lifespan and space? AI? 😂

I broke the blogging streak 🥲 Now, I'm back again.

Started because I fell terribly sick. That was my last post. It was so bad and lasted for a few days. After getting better, I just kept on telling myself, "I'll restart tomorrow".

Not only that broke my blogging streak, the habit of limiting screen-time daily also went down the drain. Along with a few other habits that I've been building for a few months.

This isn't new though!

So, at this stage, I'm more aware and there's not much negative feeling attached to my personal failures. I anticipated it, and it happened. And the only thing to do is to try again and see if I can handle it better when faced with a streak-breaker.

That's how life is if I want to be better.

Anyway, I'm working on a new project that involves collaborating with people seriously. I'm going to try write more things related to it. As much as I hate writing, and have been told many times at junior college that I'm terrible at it, it is helpful in forcing me to reflect on my experiences and organize my thoughts.

I'm sick today.

Not sure if it's related to the three days of mental fatigue i blogged about, but i'm suddenly unwell today.

Started coughing, runny nose, and i feel fever is coming.

Resting early today.

I really really don't feel like blogging today.

But, here I am, because I don't want to break the streak. 😂

Brain has yet to recover. Still very foggy and I struggle to focus even more today.

Went for a walk in the evening.

What else can I do refresh a tired brain quickly?

37 minutes of socials today on my phone. Less than yesterday.

But in all honesty, I was more productive yesterday.

That's just how it is sometimes.

Mentally still so tired.

I think it's related to this current task that Im doing that requires a lot of deep thinking. It's also possible that my brains fried because it's also working on something that's relatively new and unfamiliar.

I'm working on a digitalisation strategy for a nonprofit.

The topic isn't new to me, but to arrange thoughts and ideas into words that can be understood and bought in by many people of the organisation is something I don't do quite often. To personalize things for the people of this organisation is also not easy.

It'll be so easy to keep things generic, but what's the point?

I'll still get paid, but it won't be easy for the team to implement.

I want to make it as practical as possible for their team to make the transition into technology.

I dont want them to see tech as a burden because they need to change some stuff that they're familiar with.

I want them to see it as something that removes pain and unlocks opportunities.

Because it is exactly that when done properly.

I don't want to convince just the Boss that hired me. I want the majority of them to buy into the idea.

To do that, I need to frame things carefully. And that is so hard.

How's my screen time?

Disappointing again! I seriously don't understand how it added up so quickly. I really thought it'll be less today because I was busy.

I even had a meeting outside and I managed to spend more time on socials today.

1 hour 3 mins on socials, 24 minutes on entertainment apps.

I didnt know Telegram is considered social media 🙄

The journey to kick this habit continues.

Why my brain is tired, whole body feels tired.

Did a lot of thinking work today for a consulting project.

Was seated throughout.

Yet my whole body feels exhausted after I was done for the day.

Probably need more exercising both brain and body!

Anyways, today I spent 32 mins on socials and 16 minutes on entertainment app.

Like yesterday, it was bit by bit, in between work.

I can do better.

But I feel like bingeing now though. When the brain is tired, the appeal to just consume content is higher.

Tech bros are hating hard on the short rap performance at Canva Create. They failed to see that it's actually one of the reasons Canva is as big as it is today.

Canva puts a lot of attention to their community.

I was there, and I got a chance to see how much effort they put into their community. Canva gives back a lot to their passionate community.

The performer was not a rap artist or a Canva staff. The performer was a Canva community member. Canva put a community member on their big stage at their big annual event.

The guy made a song expressing his love for Canva for fun few years ago and posted it on his Instagram, and the team at Canva appreciated it. They've been collaborating since then.

They've also collaborated with other community members in different ways. I'm one of the lucky community members that ended up with a chance to work with them.

That's what many tech bros didnt understand about that performance.

Canva's passionate community members can relate to it and probably appreciated it, too.

Here's a reminder to care for your actual users!

Now, let's check in on my phone usage.

I think the bad habit is starting to creep back very subtly.

My social media usage is increasing. 47 minutes today.

Look at the usage across time though.

It's literally little by little every hour since I woke up.

It sure doesn't feel like 47 minutes worth of usage, but like the Malay saying goes, sikit-sikit lama-lama jadi bukit.

Must be better at this.

Promising, but would I enjoy the journey?

From time to time, I would get invites to join a project or startup.

This isn't a brag, it's a statement of fact.

I attribute it to the crazy hustle days of Skolafund/Kitafund where I had to force myself to build new connections aggressively. Most of those connections didn't bring any helpful outcomes in those years, but it seems to be paying off dividends after the exit.

However, after the exit, I had time to reflect and think about the things that happened, what I learnt and what I really want to pursue next. With this newfound awareness, I turned down most of the invites because they didn't align with what I want to do next.

But recently, an opportunity came knocking. Another invite. And it has been keeping me awake at night this past week.

It's aligned with my long-term interest. It's not perfect, but it's intriguing. I think I've found a gem. But I'm not 100% sure if I want to do it because I've set some short-term goals for myself and this will disrupt the momentum.

Will reflect (and do istikharah).

Here's my screen time report for today:

4 hours, not good, but a big chunk of it wasnt social media

Spent a significant time on Chatgpt, Insta360 to download clips from my Go 3

55 minutes of social media! But, the bulk of it was actually WhatsApp (not counted right?). Most of it was in the neighbors group talking about the deteriorating condition of our shared pool!

34 minutes of socials, 12 minutes of entertainment today.

And the majority of that socials was at 12am+ when I saw a Canva ad (second image)!

Specifically, Canva Creators ad.

Canva Creators was my main team when I was with Canva!

I worked on a few other short-term projects, but a lot of my time was with the Creators team.

Fun fact: I was the person who set up and managed the first Canva Creators ad campaign at Canva! Worked with teammates from Sydney AU, and Florida US, and I was the one in charge of getting the ads running and optimising it to get more signups.

It's nothing much in the bigger scale of things at Canva, but it's a special memory for me as a long-time fan and advocator of the app.

Seeing that ad on my Instagram last night brought back memories and some nice feelings.

I guess there is a small part of me that misses being a part of a passionate team. Very small part at the moment!

I watched WeCrashed

It's a biography drama miniseries on the rise and fall of WeWork, the coworking space company that was growing like crazy few years ago.

I love shows like this. It's based on real events, plus minus some added drama probably.

Building a business is hard. Being a founder is hard. Being a crazy + charismatic founder will allow you to push boundaries (with the right backing), but it still requires a lot of dedication and hard work. It's no easy work and it's definitely a lot of non-business people cannot relate, too.

I don't quite like how they portray the co-founder, though. Miguel McKelvey. They made him look like a coward and unintelligent person. Probably for drama purposes.

I've met a number of co-founders like McKelvey. They're not the frontman, they don't talk a lot to the media, and they don't look charasmatic. The opposite of Adam Neumann. But the fact that he remains in the company throughout signals his significance. He is likely the one who glues things together and keeps things moving when Adam Neumann goes out to chase those wild, audacious dreams. He is likely the voice of sanity for the team, which is much needed when you have an ambitious leader like Adam.

I could be wrong, too. I don't know these people personally. 😂

Anyway, how did I do today on phone screen time?

24 minutes on entertainment app, 22 minutes on social media.

Canva had an event to launch new features in the morning. So I was trying to look it up socials to get summaries.

Additionally, throughout the day, I had moments where I forgot I'm trying to minimize screen time. I stopped when i remembered. Those moments added up quickly. zzz.

14 minutes on Social Media today!

It feels like an achievement after weeks of spending many hours doom scrolling!

Yes, it is still very early in the process of building sustainable habit. The motivation level is still high.

What worked again was putting my phone out of my room as I work.

Another thing that helped was having 5 video conferences today.

I don't remember the last time I had to do 5 meetings in a day, both in person or virtually.

It was probably Skolafund and Kitafund era (2015-2019). That part of my life was intense and filled with meetings.

It was through that process that I learnt a lot about myself. One of it is how badly meetings drain me. It's so bad.

After that, I made a conscious decision to optimize my life by minimizing meetings. Each year that passes by after Skolafund era, I have fewer and less meetings on my calendar. This year, on average, I have about 1-2 of meetings (in person or virtually) scheduled each month.

Alhamdulillah, I am grateful to be able to do this.

That average is ruined this week though. This week I have 12 meetings scheduled. 11 of them are interviewing Virtual Assistant candidates.

There may be a time when this preference changes in the future. When I would look to maximise meetings in my schedule for whatever reason. But for now, I like it this way.

How did I do today?

In terms of total screen time, at the time I'm writing this post, I've spent almost 4 hours on my phone today. This is an increment from yesterday's 2 hours. A bit expected since it's a public holiday today.

But! An hour of it was for "Productivity and Finance". About 1.5 hours were for socials and entertainment apps.

I still find myself subconsciously taking my phone and automatically opening social media apps and having to remind myself to close the app the moment I realize it.

I can do better. Let's see how I do tomorrow.

I'm going to do a series of interviews tomorrow for the VA role. 6 of them (done 3 earlier today). Normally, having multiple calls in a day drains me so quick. Hopefully, that won't cause my brain to crave dopamine so bad. If it does, I hope I'll remember to fight it.

On a different note, being a parent to young kids, I had this realisation yesterday that there are many kids songs that talk about parents being their heroes and best friends.

My first born loves to sing those songs to my wife and I. And I can really feel that she means it when she say it.

That made me reminisce of how when I was a kid, my mother was my best friend too. I'm guessing this is true for many others as well.

But at some point in our young life, that changed. Suddenly, we have other best friends. And maybe view other people as heroes too instead of our parents who've done so much for us.

That made me realised that I'll probably experience that too with my children. One day they'll stop seeing us as heroes and best friends.

A bit of a sad thing to think about.

My parents have probably gone through that phase growing me and siblings up. Where we stop treating them like best friends. I have never thought about it my whole life until yesterday when I started to think about this.

This is how I did today wrt my phone usage.

After making the post yesterday, I got a surge of new motivation to be more productive and reduce screen time for sure.

At 9.20pm, the time I'm writing this blog post, I've spent a total of 2 hours and 8 minutes on my phone so far today.

Half of it on social media browsing. 🤯

I was really in the zone with work today so seeing that I've still manage to squeeze in one hour cumulatively on socials is quite surprising.

That's how easy it is to waste time.

It's still an improvement from the day before.

Like I shared previously, what's helpful is to make sure the phone is not in the room when I work.

Let's see if I can continue this tomorrow.

It's a public holiday, so I'm probably going to spend less time working. Higher chances of forgetting and looking at my phone?

Will update tomorrow.

Another thing thats happening tomorrow is interviewing some shortlisted candidates that applied for the VA role.

I've invited 12 out of 90+ that have submitted their mini-assesment for a chat. These are the top 12 imo based on their submitted work. It was quite challenging to decide, they're quite a number of good ones.

Let's see how it goes. If none of the 12 fit, then I'll look at the next ones in the list.

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