feels trip

just an outlet side blog for all my sad heavy emotions and gay pining

[takeafeelstrip]

baby, angel, honey, darling, my love my love my love

[takeafeelstrip]

not to sound hella angsty or anything but I finally truly understand that expression about crawling through broken glass for someone you love. I would do anything for you, my love.

[takeafeelstrip]

I've become so good at listening to others, asking good questions, showing I'm engaged, leaving people infatuated after an hour's conversation. But I have no idea how to talk about myself and let people know me. I can answer direct questions, though I overthink every word stumbling out of my mouth, and I don't know how to fill the silence without turning it back to the other person. Do people even like me or are they drawn to that feeling of being known?

[greelin]

did perfectionism ever truly protect you from harm or neglect as a child though. ultimately. Lol

[takeafeelstrip]

How do I explain this sadness? It's more like disappointment. The fact that it was so easy for you to move on, that it was literally the girl you told me not to worry about. The fact that I spent our entire time together battling with my gut when it said your attention was drifting off elsewhere, constantly telling myself it was nothing, when I was right all along. A bullet dodged I suppose, but I think it's devastating to want to believe in you. I really wanted to be wrong, I wanted to believe that you could be faithful. But it turns out I was right about you. The whole time, I was right.

Never shall I ignore my gut again. I'm sorry, girl.

[takeafeelstrip]

too sad to even try jerking off smh we're really out here huh

[takeafeelstrip]

I have been single for four days and I already have a valentine's date lol

[takeafeelstrip]

I did it

[areyoupure]

[takeafeelstrip]

I keep thinking that I'm scared of the truth. And only now am I realizing that I'm not scared of IF it's the truth. I think I know it is. But it would ruin everything in my life. My parents and grandparents, my home, my relationship. It all could be rebuilt again, I know, but it'll never be the same. It would be so much easier to shove it all in a box and label myself the way I used to. Why can't the happiness of my current life be enough to quiet that visceral scream inside? The part that has demanded to be known for so long? I remember a young teen client asking if I've ever dated a girl, how there was a small heartache in knowing that answer was and forever will be "no". But does it have to be that way?

[takeafeelstrip]

god I crave sex with women.I'm not ready to close the door on those experiences. if only it wouldn't implode my relationship

[takeafeelstrip]

I think I'm gay

[takeafeelstrip]

when someone shows you who they are, FUCKING BELIEVE THEM

[takeafeelstrip]

and I was having such a good day, too.

[takeafeelstrip]

I'm STILL mad about this. Lied to my damn face.

[takeafeelstrip]

and I was having such a good day, too.

[takeafeelstrip]

How often do I need to speak up for what I want before I realize I'm not getting it?

[takeafeelstrip]

I don't know how much longer I can stay