May 10, 2018
this is disgusting but I thought I finally passed my kidney stone after a week but then I was super nauseous and now I threw up like 10 times and realized how disgusting the toilet was so then I cleaned it.
this is my life.
ugh.

@theartofmadeline

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we're not kids anymore.
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@takeinallthecolors
I look back on my years of walking with Him,
and see that no trial was ever in vain
Every trial made me desperately depend on Him, seek Him, run to Him
No trial was ever, ever, ever in vain
Truly awesome fact!
At the end of the day, I’m thankful. I think of how broken and dependent I used to be. I needed the validation of people to feel like I had any worth. I held myself to ridiculous standards that I could not meet. I was stuck in a cycle of anxiety, depression. I was unstable and never truly happy.
Then God threw me a curve ball. He revealed to me that my best friend was to be my one and only for the rest of my life. Matthew came back from a missions trip to Madagascar with a call to missions and a burden that matched my own. When he stepped out in faith and followed where God led, it allowed God to further His plan for us. Since then, we started dating, got engaged, went on a missions trip to Malawi where we found our true calling, and two months ago, got married.
Matthew has shown me that my value is in God and that His love is what matters above all. He demonstrates the love of God to me in our relationship at all times and always leads me back to Him. It’s been almost two years since I’ve had a full blown anxiety attack. It’s been about the same since I’ve experienced full bouts of depression. I’ve had some bumps along the way, but he has been there for me through it all, always there to pray, encourage, and love me selflessly.
I say all of that to say this: this is not the end. No matter where you are, no matter how you feel, this is not the end. If God could turn my life around and save me from myself- He can and will do it for you.
Reminding myself He pursues me even when I don’t pursue Him. Reminding myself He continues to tug on my heart even if I don’t respond. Reminding myself He loves deeper than I could ever know.
“Do not let your joy in Christ be contingent upon changing circumstances.”
— (via spirit-filledwoman)
I just ready through my tag of everything I wrote about my husband when we first started dating and I first fell in love with him. All I can do is thank God for His hand on our lives and bringing us together. God is so good to me and knew exactly what I needed.
you can still radiate light if you’re sad. you can still be kind and soft-hearted if you’re a bit cynical. you don’t need to be the happiest person to make someone else’s day better.
If you haven’t read your Bible today, you should definitely go do that right now. You need God’s Word more than anything you’re reading on this site.
what do you do when you are home alone with kidney stones and going crazy? binge watch the entire series of Parks and Rec. I’m on season 4 already
life update
I married the love of my life two months ago and have never been happier.
what’s new with ya’ll?
“For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.”
— Hebrews 10:36
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.
Psalm 27:10 KJV
so I’ve been home with a kidney stone since Saturday. I’m actually going crazy. Send help
“That which is not God can never satiate the heart exclusively created for God’s presence.”
A.W. Tozer