Tragedies and Triumphs of a Pizza Delivery Driver

[talesfromthehotbox]

Today While Driving...

I got to see some adorable kids, all of whom thought my costume was great and wanted to play with me.

[talesfromthehotbox]

Your Delivery Is Late Because...

it is Halloween, there are a lot of little kids wandering the neighborhoods, and your drivers are not willing to risk hurting a kid just to get you your food fast.

[talesfromthehotbox]

Today While Driving...

I saw a cat use up at least seven of its nine lives in one go.  

Cat darted across the road right in front of an SUV.  I was absolutely certain that I was about to witness the death of an animal.  It managed to miss the front tires and run head first into the back driver’s side tire, from beneath the car.  

It hit the tire so hard that it flipped up into the air, spun, spasmed while falling, hit the ground, and bolted back the way it came.

As far as I could see, it was completely unharmed.

[talesfromthehotbox]

Your Delivery Is Late Because...

you called and had the call center modify your order while your food was currently being boxed.

[talesfromthehotbox]

Today While Driving...

I saw a driver for a rival food delivery business sitting on the side of the road while a tow truck trying to get him out of the path of traffic

[talesfromthehotbox]

Your Delivery Is Late Because...

the highway on route to your home was fairly well at a complete standstill due to gridlock.

[talesfromthehotbox]

Today While Driving...

I saw a man leading a fully saddled and ride ready horse around his front lawn, while nearby three other men all had their pants partially down and were urinating at the same time.

[talesfromthehotbox]

Your Delivery Is Late Because...

you didn’t know your own address, which is fine, it happens.

What was unusual was the fact that the address you gave was of an apartment complex where we deliver frequently, so it took me a bit to realize that I was at the wrong place.

[talesfromthehotbox]

Today While Driving...

it rained so heavily that I had to temporarily pull into a parking lot and wait for the rain to let up enough I could see, even with the wipers going full tilt.

[talesfromthehotbox]

Your Delivery Is Late Because...

your driver was on the phone taking an order from another customer, only to have them take ten minutes to decide what they wanted.

[talesfromthehotbox]

Today While Driving...

I realized that since starting a job as a delivery driver, I have not had any nightmares about being behind the wheel.  Before starting the job they were a weekly occurrence.  

[talesfromthehotbox]

Your Delivery Is Not Late Because...

you don’t know how to tell time.

If your driver has on the receipt when you ordered as well as what the promised length of time before your food arrives is, then the fact that you can’t do math does not automatically make your food late.

And no, having a hissy fit and signing the receipt but writing a zero on the total line does not mean you get your food for free.  It just means that the driver had to document the delivery when returning to the store and verify with the manager that yes, you received the food and yes, you signed the receipt.

Had the delivery actually been late, you would have gotten a discount.  But because of your actions, you got to pay full price and wouldn’t have been offered a discount anyway.

[talesfromthehotbox]

Today While Driving...

I realized that I am finally getting down the layout of the streets, at least those that run north/south.

[talesfromthehotbox]

Your Delivery Is Late Because...

your driver got stuck on plating/boxing/cutting food for orders while everybody else was taking care of other things and it took a while to get out the door with your food.

[talesfromthehotbox]

Today While Driving...

I got the joy of delivering to a place that looked like it was straight out of ‘The Shining’.

[talesfromthehotbox]

Your Delivery Is Late Because...

you didn’t know your own address.  

When the driver arrived at the given address and found it wrong, they called you to verify, and you insisted the address was correct.

When the driver asked you to describe the house and you did so, they realized that you were in the house opposite to the one with the address that you gave.

You were very surprised when the driver mentioned the address being one number off from what was given.

[talesfromthehotbox]

Today While Driving...

I was finally able to drive with the windows down again instead of the a/c on.