wait..what?

i have facebook but people are judgey. female. mid 20s. borderline alcoholic

[talesofthesociallyincapable]

I follow this Facebook group.

And it shits me because someone just said "once a cheater always a cheater".

Got me thinking? Does anyone over the age of 20 actually believe that shit?

That we are forever sentenced a life of a label because of an action that could have taken place years ago.

That we are less deserving of a second chance because of that label?

Think about it like you slept around a lot and people called you a slut... Are you forever labelled a slut? When do you lose your slut plates and are able to converse with those who used their so called moral superiority to condemn you because you like sex? Or had a lapse in judgement because that one guy you slept with drunk told everyone about it and now because you had sex with that particular guy his dick somehow was able to knight you as a slut...

When do we lose labels?

Asking for a friend.

[talesofthesociallyincapable]

dear and beautiful friend of mine called himself shit at dating... And we got discussing.. can you really be good at dating?

I mean the first thought would be "I mean yeah if you get lots of dates". Is that good though? Like to get lots of first dates or second dates and not get anywhere. Is that being good at dating? Because when I had a series of first dates that went fucking nowhere it was a "I'm so shit at this bullshit".

Are you good if you are dating someone? Because where does the line go from dating to in a relationship... Are you dating if it's just one person? Am I good at dating?

Or if you have a series of flings? Does that make you good at dating?

Because they don't seem to go anywhere. Even if that's your main objective to have flings? That's not really dating that's having sex with the same person for a short while but not committing? Is that good at dating though?

Are you bad at dating if you don't get dates? Or does that mean you are good at it because you have a certain type and don't want to waste yours and the time of others trying to work out whether or not they fit?

I guess what I'm trying to ask is... Who cares if you get dates or don't get dates? I had like 5 dates in 4 years. I thought I was garbage and that somehow that made me feel less worth people's time. But realised I was just waiting for someone that I didn't have "drop my standards for" because somehow asking for a guy that was intelligent and funny, as well as being sexually appealing to me was of the question.

You aren't bad at dating. You know what you are worth.

I think you are only bad at dating if you go in with the expectation of getting laid with out verbalising it to your date and then later putting making them out their hand on your genitals as you make your intentions known.. then making them feel severly unwelcome when they reject your sexual advance.

I think you will find that makes you a bit of a predator... And that, is bad at dating. So just don't be a dick and you will be "great at dating".

Not dating isn't a bad thing either. It's okay to not be actively looking for someone. Jesus. You don't need to be coupled. You are your whole great human being with so much to give to the world on your own. Having a human to do life with is great, but it's not a prerequisite to having a full and exciting life.

You are doing great love. I'm so proud of you. A human will come along and you won't give a shit about whether or not you are bad at dating .. and they won't either. Because you both will just know. And for that if you wanna believe in anything

[talesofthesociallyincapable]

Intercourse

Have you noticed that your friends want to O hear about your sex life more when you are single than when you are in a relationship?

Like having "good sex with a stranger" is somehow more interesting then being bent over your kitchen counter while making cookies having the best sex you've had that day?

Or the fact 39 minutes later you are being fucked again with a dick who's owner you asked to marry them a month previously is wearing a cock ring...

And after he finished he gets you off with a 6 inch dildo while you watch glory hole porn on your TV?

Nobody wants to hear about that.

That's the good stuff.

[talesofthesociallyincapable]

toys

I have sex toys. My friends have sex toys. My partner has sex toys. 

A member of my family does not and when he found out I had them, and my partner had them. He blasted me on why he thinks its stupid to have them. 

It got me thinking about sex toys and relationships. Basically his central argument is ‘why do you have sex toys if you have a partner to have sex with?’. Now, he does have a point. But the point is invalid. 

It is the same kind of idea that sex toys are leading to a downfall in people seeking relationships. That people are no longer bothering with human connection and seeking their sexual pleasures through a wide range of objects built for that purpose, or another I have heard stories about all number of house hold penis shaped objects being used for sexual pleasure, yo. you do you ... or the contents of your fridge, no judgement.

But I think that when you start to really consider, why people purchase sex toys, and why people get into relationships. you realise they do not share the same answer. 

firstly, I bought sex toys to explore myself sexually, I also bought them to explore my sex life with my partner, to spice things up if you will. secondly, I am in a relationship because I needed companionship and intimacy. I realised having sex with strangers, or playing with myself (despite the love i have for myself) I was not getting what I needed which was intimacy. 

My family member argued that you shouldn’t really be masturbating or using toys if you have a partner. this alerted me on how he views relationships really. But my answer was simply, I masturbate to relieve myself sexually, to pleasure myself, to orgasm, to explore. I have a partner whom I do have sex with. But, we are not together for mutual sexual gratification. I think people need to realise that once you are in a relationship, it is it not an endless tap of sex. Sometimes hes not in the mood, sometimes hes tired, sometimes hes drunk, or sad, or depressed or just not interested. And thats fine. I do not pressure him into having sex because I am horny. And neither does he. He is partial to the morning sex, I am partial to sleep ins. If he knows I want to not be touched he does not pressure the issue, he finds his means to do so. 

And I think the thing that this all boils down to is mutual respect of sexual needs. I think thats a good sign for a relationship. I am not there for his sexual gratification, as he is not simply there for mine. We are companions, life partners, best friends. Not a stick and a hole to put it in. 

Grow up.

[talesofthesociallyincapable]

human cavier...

Hey so remember when some wanky politician in America declared thay every egg had the potential to be a human, when they really mean 50/50 to be a human with a penis who identifies as male yes the clarification of genitals is necessary as a male born with a vagina... still female... good work society... a human can have themselves legally declared as a farm animal (pretty sure another american got herself declared as a horse) but we cant have the wrong junk... oh well.

anyway... this asshat decided all eggs (again human eggs, you get your dollar that man aint for animal rights if he aint for female rights but hey i ate a baby sheep so... moving on)... are sacred...

so naturally women sent him their used pads and tampons so he can build his shrine for their sacredness...

He didnt.

But he didnt realise... periods are literally a fucking waste of energy and time, not to mention the massive impact pads and tampons have on the environment, and the sick days, bitch days, it seems the only upside to periods is 1. knowing your not pregnant. 2. has anyone done a finanical paper on the.impact menstral cravings has on the junk food industry?

Anyway, some other asshat was like "why are eggs sacred and like sperm isn't?".

because i produce 1 egg per month and you produce 1 spermy every micro second.. you see?

Furthermore if our eggs are so sacred and the production of said egg does have a financial and environmental impact. perhaps reducin the pricing and stigmatism towars contraception such as the pill and others.

Because they can literally stop the production of these sacred cells you want to protect so much.

"yes but contraception will lead to sex"... False. It leads to a better understanding of how female bodiea work. And your current opinion of abortions means this idea would lower the rate of accident pregnancies. amazing right?

also "yeh but you will still have to have a period so your idea is fundamentally flaud" well no. because i know what you are thinking... that the egg is still produced byt not released by the ovaries and therefore will "build up" again. No. Women have skipped periods for many mant years. I myself skipped for 5 years... do you think when they cut her or mine for that matter GIANT OVARIES eggs pour out like cavier? no. the egg just doesnt get produced... so..no human cavier. good luck getting that image outta ya brain..The only time i have ever hear of an egg buildup is when the woman was unaware she had chlamydia...

you do bleed though as your vagina and uterus will clean its self out. now im no nurse... but my mother is, and she specialises in female reproductive organs (as a nurse calm down). so you bet your happy little self that i got the most in fucking depth sex ed talk ever...

Anyway... i think i covered it mr asshat politician...

Reduce the cost of the pill, protect your sacred eggs, stop debating about womens reproductive rights if you are a dude, because you dont have a uterus... or hell make that fucker free... condoms are..

[the-witchy-bee]

love and other shit

I asked this chick that i met out one night a few weeks ago “what do you want from a relationship?” as I had just been talking to an older women about her marriage.

This girl said “romance and butterflies”.

Just kinda sat there looking at her like she just told me that her favorite movie was Pretty Woman or Titanic. Or what ever hollywood decides is the epitome of romantic relationships. Or she just told me that Ross and Rachel are totes cute despite the fact hes a manipulative wanker (oh times have changed good bye sweet dino man hello Douchasaurous Rex).

Needless to say, shes an idiot.

It got me thinking about what I would want from an ideal relationships and it aint romance and butterflies..

For one, Romance is subjective… Your candle lit dinner and roses is my dumplings and Harry Potter.

And two… Butterflies make me nauseous. Also there is a carnivorous one so that freaks me out.

I want use to be equals, I want us to be companions. I dont want long walks on the beach, snuggled up on a couch watching reruns of shit shows, or rainy mornings in bed.

I want to know I am fucking safe with that person. I dont want a smoke screen of roses that would otherwise show a toxic or damaging relationship.

I want to know that when he gets mad, I won’t be the target of his anger.

Also I am not saying your relationship isnt perfect for you if you do get these things.

I am saying I need more from a person than that to prove I can trust them with my everything

[talesofthesociallyincapable]

I dunno man. I wouldn't wanna tell my kids they can't idolize someone of a different gender because it may diminish their own capacity with in their "gender norms"...

Like... I would love my kid to idolize Hermione, Luna, Molly, Ginny, and Narcissa just as I would love my kid to idolize Ron, Neville, Lupin and Hagrid.

Because their genders do not define the lessons they reach you. To educate yourself in the face of adversity, to be yourself always, to be strong and compassionate to all, to always stay faithful to your friends and family and to be brave even when you don't feel it.

I don't know why would would rather your child conform to the gender that they are... It doesn't mean they are gonna decide they will wear a massive coat wander round with a pink umbrella and smuggle weird creatures into your house.

Though. If my child did that, I would be pretty okay with it

[inner]

Dear person reading this, 

      You deserve a life full of happiness and positivity. So don’t let others get to you and believe in yourself.

[talesofthesociallyincapable]

"soo you dont shave...."

"are you protesting the expected standards and norms for womens hygeine and body?" "are you wanting to make some grand feminist gesture?".. no im fucking lazy alright. i am a lazy single woman. my legs and armpits havent been seen by another human in 4 months. Having body hair does not make me more or leas feminist as shaving. I just. cant. be. bothered. #plusallrazorsgivemedermatitis

[talesofthesociallyincapable]

why are you single?

So. I got told once or twice. That I am single because I have a tattoo of a woman on my arm. I have been told, that people think I am gay because of this. Now. That's fine. Aside from the obvious "cant get married, being condemned by certian groups, there isnt a whole lot of discussion about same sex safe sex and men assuming you are up for 3 somes" being gay certianly has its upsides, But... using that logic... Wouldn't I have a girlfriend then? I think Ill stick with a 'shit personality, shit face'... or 'no time for relationships if there is food to eat

[talesofthesociallyincapable]

I dont understand the bachelor

Like what if you go on the show to find love? And he turns out to be a mega twat but he like thinks there is some mad connection and he keeps like giving you roses for fucks sake. Like what if you fucking win? I am half tempted to go on the show just to get a bouquet of shitty roses ...that shit is expensive... and they are just giving them awa... Like, can you just bail on him? And dump him? Oh what if you end up dating one of the women? Or are you contractually obligated to be one of this guys bitch until he decides who to give the last rose too? What the fuck is with the roses anyway? Why not give them to the girls who leave? Consolation prize... like on game shows "you didnt win 1,000,000 but heres a consolation prize board game to relive the public embarrassment on national TV all over again." No. I dont get that shit.

[talesofthesociallyincapable]

I want you to listen here...

Okay, realising very little people will read this... I am just gonna write exactly the fuck I am feeling, because I have been holding back for too long. The flood gates have openned. I AM SICK TO FUCKING DEATH of people asking when you are catching up with someone if you are dating anyone (meaning am I in a relationship, not am I dating)... either way its still a no. I don't date. I don't go on dates. I don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend. I am not planning to get married. I am not planning my future on the presumption someone will be there to share it with. I am not a bitter synical bitch because I dont have a boyfriend or girlfriend. I am not sad on Valentines Day. (I am hungover, the day before my birthday biiiitch. In fact, I am sadder on Christmas but that literally only lasts until the first bottle of wines been corked... anyway). I am not undateable, unwanted, unappreciated, unlovable. Because I don't place enough value on how another person values my existance (unless you are my fam or friends... anyway). I am single. Simple as that. Now I saw some bullshit that pissed me the fuck off today. "How to avoid the singles trap"... and at first I thought it was a hunting book, but no it is literally about how to not be left forever alone. Like its the worst thing that could ever happen to you. That you are single. I know a few women and menn who are absolutely miserable in their relationships would disagree. Thats my point here, you take what you put into it. If you enjoy the 'freedom' of being single, you will enjoy being single. If you enjoy the 'commitment' of being in a relationship. Now. 'Freedom' and 'Commitment' are kinda...subjective? I dunno. Like, you can still enjoy freedom whilst you are in a relationship, like you can enjoy commitment when you are single. The difference is the ideas of those two word change. I am not sad I am single. I spent basically from 15-21 bouncing around relationships. I need me time. So quit this pity party bullshit 'thats too bad' I dont have a boyfriend... because baby when you are sitting alone at home freaking what hes doing on his boys night out, checking his snapchat story for clues, texting him every.fucking.second. I am sitting at home watching Longmire with my cat blissfully not worrying about what the fuck anyones doing. Yo.

[almaviva90]

[talesofthesociallyincapable]

Shitty tale.

I absolutely love it when you use the loo for what the loo was provided for and someone looks down on you like you are the absolute stain on humanity. Look mate. I am lactose intolerate and have irritable bowel syndrome do not fuck with me,I should shit you into oblivion you don't understand. I am not gross for taking a shit in the fucking toilet. The toilet doesnt say restricted for ones only does it. No.

[talesofthesociallyincapable]

I deleted all dating apps, dating sites, and dating blah blah blah. Not because I am finally in a relationship, no. But becauae shit like this. This, to an untrained eye looks nice. He asked me out. No. I hadn't actually spoke to him at all (I have no idea what the YES is referring too). Instead all day yesterday and some of today I get an hourly or bi hourly hi from this man. I am just going to explain to you why this is both terrifying and annoying. Men (notallmenbutsome) make this grand assumption that you are on a dating website to find them, and that they showed you some civility, they therefore deserve dinner with you. Or your DTF. But thats beside the point. I know I am gonna get some shiit for this but.. I am not on dating sites, for you. I am there for me. Because before now I did not have a means to actually meet people like an ordinary human being. Now I go out a little more regularly and meet people which has proved successful. So, whether online or in person just because you are nice to me, does not mean shit to me, I dont owe you anything. If you think that blowing up my phone every hour is a grand jesture of your affection you are mistaken and should have got the hint when I didnt. Fucking. Reply. I should not have to explain to you why I dont want to date you or excuse myself from your advances. We are no longer living in a time where women are socially obligated to marry someone to improve their estate. So honestly. Get fucked.

[talesofthesociallyincapable]

Menstrual Pads. The fuck guys.

For the fellas TRIGGERS WARNING may include period, blood, carnage, uterus, ovaries, pads, panty liners, menstruation.

*seriously though guys?

So Like I am on the pill, so I havent really had a period since I was 16. I am 23 now Like it is advised to have a period every few months… Something about the lining in my uterus needing to be flushed or what ever I am no doctor. It is perfectly safe to not have a period for months on end, you will not get build up.

Do you even realise how idiotic that sounds that women who have been on birth control for yeeaaars develop a pot belly due to unexpelled eggs, like some sort of cavier in our ovaries? Please. It reaaally says something about the quality of our sex ed. Anyway..

When I eventually have a bleed... period... what ever...

It is so fucking light that a panty liner can deal with the carnage.

So, recently I tried these high tech pads with wings. I say high tech because they have all this anti leak, anti ride up, extra absorbant bullshit.

Now. Let me explain why all this technology is for lack of a better word, FUCKING USELESS…

You spent all this fucking money on making sure my pad doesnt leak everywhere…. you completely fucked up the adhesive mechanism for it to be effective.

What is the fucking use of an anti leak pad with wings, if I am just gonna wake up to it stuck to my lower thighs? Or literally up my ass..

By default the anti leak technology has be made redundant because the pad isnt even there to fucking catch the leaks in the first place…

Ludacris.

I miss my nappy pads.

Yo send me your stories! Kthanksbye

*I would advise discussing with your doctor before you decide to start skipping periods, perhaps explain why, i dont do it because it is inconvenient, despite being very light it is extremely painful. As it is for many women however, I was bed ridden for a week of each month. More on that later*

[sathurzo-deactivated20250328]