The Fox of Many Faces @talk2mod - Tumblr Blog

Recovery Status: 75%

Hello, Seth is here. I've been away from time to time on Tumblr, Twitter, and even Facebook. Last year I did say I was gonna do a Full Recovery here in 2019. Fix my life up before I start a new one in a different state. As of right now, I left 2018 at 132 lbs.. I am now 150 lbs so That was a huge difference.

My ex girlfriend left me on New Years eve and it too a heard hit on me, however Right after that she told me the words "you obviously wasn't ready for a relationship." After I heard those words I choice not to be upset about it anymore. Out all of these 4 months, I haven't talked to or about here. (Besides mentioning this here.)

Savings, bills and even going to the gym.. Ive been a lot better since this year has started.

I'm proud of this fresh new self. I'm looming foward to chat with my friends in the state I'm going to.

... A little NSFW key point.

· I rather be sexless then have it with someone who doesn't care about me.

I'm not happy... But I'm trying to be

Friends here who "cares about me and I care about them... Told me that nothing matters, that life isn't worth it.

... listening to that, made me scream. I've been saying:

" I hate my life."

"Fucking kill me."

" I'm a waste of space..."

But...

I'm not!!!

I have meaning, I have people who is willing to stay in my life and take the time to understand my complicated ass. 2018.. fuck you.

2019... Is the year of Recovery.

Let's do this.

This mind state's when I make spectacular music

At least it sounds that way in my ears

I'm a probably fucking die in less than five years

But it feels so good right now

I'm a make it so somehow I don't have to come down

#Wax #Old Ways #Fucking Die #Im Not Happy

I'm not happy 8

Waking up isn't exciting anymore like it used to be. I actually look forward to starting my day and to see what's ahead of me. Messages would be checked to see if anyone sends me a good morning, or that feeling you have when someone is excited to see you say it to them. I don't feel that anymore...

Friends near, and friends far tell me these things are minor things to worry about, but I can't help it. With the time of abuse, and the current struggle I'm in I can't really think of anything positive right about now. Money is right, messed up to the brim and I just wanna keep my life moving, I don't want it to end right here where I stand... I wanna be a better man, I want my feelings to be justified and either returned or denied, I wanna have people I can have fun with and not to be.... Cast away within the shadows...

Help me... Please, I want a new normal life. . .

I'm not happy #7 ( Thanksgiving)

Oh Boy a title....

I'm not happy anymore about Thanksgiving for a number of reasons.. For starters, last year Thanksgiving, I was being harassed for money by the first toxic roommate... Stealing a lot from me so I wasn't having it.

Year before that... It was too celebrate my brother's birthday. Who was killed a year before that... It was really to not break down, but I ended up doing holding up.. till I feel asleep.

And lastly the year before that.... When I was with @yeennqueenn .... Let me not get into that.

My point is, I'm still going to try to have a good one.. But if my Roommate is home... I can kiss my Thanksgiving goodbye and...

"GOODNIGHT EVERYONE!!!" - Wakko

I'm not happy #6

My roommate loves to leave the door open every morning after he leaves. Not just my door, but we have a second for that leads to our apartment. There isn't one day, he doesn't do it. I lock the door after I leave my home, and after I come inside of the house of course. However, I by a mistake didn't lock the door coming inside yesterday so he got a little mad and questioned "why is the door unlocked?" ....

A lot of people doesn't like him because he they know he's a shitty person who wants people to be nice to him. Someone needs to tell him that it doesn't work like that. Just because you do a few nice things, doesn't make you a nice person. Same with you girlfriend... He as an ex in Australia and she was getting mad at him for something. He was saying she was getting annoying towards his girlfriend. She replied "Stop talking about her like that, or I'll end up hating her " then he got mad at her...

Lately... He takes the dishes in his room and doesn't bring it back to the kitchen. Plates, utensils, pots, pans, baking stuff... Nothing. I tried to look for my glass baking pan... It wasn't in the kitchen... So yeah, I knew where it was...

Living with an Actual Raccoon would have been a lot better then this one...

I'm a shapeshifter

At Poe's masquerade

Hiding both face and mind

All free for you to draw

I'm a shapeshifter

What else should I be?

Please don't take off my mask

Revealing dark

#how i see myself #yup that's me #don't remove my mask #please...

I'm not happy #5

I'm no house slave.... Lately We've had a problem about us having fleas inside of my house because of some strange get reason...

Normally roommates and FRIENDS are suppose to tackle the problems together... Not my so call friend... Not my roommate.. he left for two weeks till I came up with a solution and solved it on my own...so yeah.. he came back after I got rid of them along with his girlfriend...

Even though it came from his girlfriend's house since they have 7 cats, a Fog and a family of Racoons in their backyard...

"I wonder where the fleas came from... I just wonder..."

I'm not Happy #4

I have literally books of stories and ideas in my room all on the floor... But thanks to my self-esteem and confidence... I don't jump on it because I'm lacking something. A skill, equipment... Myself..

I've been writing a stories for about 6 plus years... Not once someone ( Besides @yeennqueenn, @ask-de-writer and @purplecrystal-fridge ) asked about them... No one is interested in stories, no one wants to read... Unless there is a picture involved. Then they are interested.

If I ask one of the two that's helping me for help... I get told I'm using them...

I'm not... Please.. Stop saying these things.. in not using anyone. I know the word "no" and I don't claim anyone's art ...

I'm not a bad guy..

I'm not Happy #3

Don't read this as if I'm angry. It'll be misread to be honest.

I hate that I don't have a shoulder to turn to. "Friends" always tell me to reach out to them, but when I do they either don't answer or day they don't have time. However, when they have problems and I reach out to them I put all of my attention towards their problem. I try to squeeze my open problems into the conversation...

But they shut me down with "Don't you every think of anyone else? Stop thinking about yourself."

I try to think about myself... But I always put myself down. When I think of someone else, I'm always thinking about myself?...

:3 Thanks for more sad feelings added to my blue flames and dark soul...

I'm not happy #2

To be fair, I don't like talking about myself. I really don't because I don't want anyone to read me and figure out that I'm messed up as a whole. There's not a day that I don't think about death, leaving a lot of people because they don't have to have me in their lives and just isolate myself because I truly don't think I matter at all.

Don't get me wrong, I want the attention but not with them front bad for me. Just because they actually want to take time out of their lives and spend it with a friend. I don't have any close friends. I'm either a 5th choice or no choice...

~ Moddie

P.S I truly do think I rather go away without a word. Let's see who actually cares about me.

And fuck you to my step mother for making me like this.

I'm not happy #1

I get paid about 1640 a month after taxes ( They take money from my check every week for some reason.

My roommate gets exactly 1640 a month ( Different job)

I pay 720 for rent, feed the cats, and but cleaning stuff.

My roommate doesn't do anything but goes on the computer... Eats and makes a mess.

Guess who is starving during work everyday..

I'm a Walking City Messenger

He stands behind a register...

Announcement: Family

So, if anyone wants to know where have I been.. or actually care. I've been managing and actually writing stories for @ascriptedlife

However, this is a personal Announcement.

My mom just got cancer.... Again, due to her asshole fucking dickbag fiance. He smokes all day, everyday. And does it while she is sleeping in the room.... As well as, My little brother tried to off himself earlier this year. So I decided to move back home in February to support them as much as possible.

Plus, I've been getting sick nonstop at the current house in living at. So I guess it's an ultra win in my eyes.

If you want to support me, I'll be over at AScriptedLife working on Swift's life, and also thanks for supporting me...

Have a better day then me. Later days.

#mod post #moving back home

Sick again :'3

.... Why does this keep happening to me...