what are you looking at?

Personal blog for https://an-impossibly-tall-goblin.tumblr.com | Morgan, 20, they/them, bi/arospec/NB, Linguistics, Anthropology, and Spanish student at UNT, Texas native, profile picture is a picrew by Hex_Girl_Iris

[persephonaae]

[emiko-matsui]

diversity wins! the person who just burned down your planet is non binary

[dundermifflinscranton]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[ingridverse]

But they should

[ahallister]

The military literally *does* lose money though. A couple years ago we had a report that the Pentagon was unable to account for some 21 trillion dollars that had been allocated to it. Not billion, TRILLION. And that’s money that they actually lost in the sense that they have no idea what happened to it. So don’t come talking to us about the USPS.

[michaelgovehateblog]

I don't think we can trust the guardian as a reliable news source on anything from now on

[fromhalcyon]

ok but consider this

[veeranger]

also ratio

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

People who don’t want to read The Martian in case the science is too complicated should be informed that it contains the lines “The best way to store the ingredients of water is to make them be water”, “It is of course dangerous to set off an explosive device on a spacecraft”, and “If I cut a hole in the wall of the hab, the air won’t stay inside any more”.

[neilarmstrong]

I love this fucking book

[osheamobile]

“I’ve said the words kilowatt-hours-per-sol so many times they’ve lost all meaning so I’m going to call them pirate-ninjas.

“So I need to generate nine hundred pirate-ninjas…”

[magnificentbane-deactivated2019]

there’s an entire chapter dedicated to him wondering how the cubs are doing while he’s stuck on mars, dying

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I like the part where the guys on Earth are like “He thinks we all gave up on him, and that he’s completely alone. I wonder what he’s thinking about right now.” And he’s like “How come Aquaman can control whales?”

[direwolfblackrose]

“ As with most of life’s problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation. “

“Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be “in command” if I were the only remaining person.”

Two pages later… “What do you know? I’m in command”

“Me: “This is obviously a clog. How about I take it apart and check the internal tubing?” NASA: (after five hours of deliberation) “No. You’ll fuck it up and die.” So I took it apart.

And my personal favorite :” Also, I have duct tape. Ordinary duct tape, like you buy at a hardware store. Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape. Yes, of course duct tape works in a near-vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped.”

[anger-birb]

It sounds like a book-long XKCD comic 

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

There’s an xkcd comic about it if that helps.

[neontacos]

[mythoflight]

[casey-kat]

[normal-horoscopes]

man, if you think reality shifters are bad, wait until you hear about physical shifters lol

"Physical Shifters"

You mean like going to a place?

[natalieironside]

Manifesting a nice day at the park by driving there

[digitaldiscipline]

This casting is getting out of hand.

[cipheramnesia]

These movies are what the Ocean's 11 movies should have been.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

i am immobilized

[normal-horoscopes]

[I SUMMON A FAE LORD BY NAME, HE BREAKS THE SUMMON AND VANISHES]

[normal-horoscopes]

[I USE THE NAME AGAIN, AGAIN HE APPEARS, AND AGAIN HE VANISHES. WE BOTH KNOW A CALL GIVEN THRICE CANNOT BE REFUSED.]

[normal-horoscopes]

[I USE THE NAME AGAIN, HE APPEARS HOLDING A BIG SPHERICAL CARTOON BOMB]

[cassettetapecryptid]

Caretaker, is this the same fae who was wearing an 80's windbreaker when you met?

[normal-horoscopes]

I NEEDED A SMASH BROS PARTNER

[zombieella]

CT who does he main?

[normal-horoscopes]

INKLING, I PLAY RIDLEY

[softieskywalker]

luke signing his jedi academy as a preschool in every government form to avoid paying the tax bracket assigned to religious organizations since the new republic is a secular government. known tax evader luke skywalker lying about his student's ages (what do you mean jacen syndulla is 15, he's just that tall because he's half twi'lek!) and mind tricking the government agents that realize he's pulling a gigantic scam.

[lesbianjedi]

#remeber kids luke grew up in tatooine and then fought in a guerrilla#this man's only sense of morality comes from the destined forces of good and evil#he doesn't give a shit about your government rules leia#yes i know you're also evading taxes as a princess miss i don't have a planet anymore but retain my royal title

aren't all skywalkers tax evaders? padmé went from queen straight to senator to avoid paying those high fortune taxes, and i'm sure as hell vader wasn't paying anyone taxes for his lava mansion. luke is just doing his best

[softieskywalker]

WHAT IF nobody told luke that his taxes are paid in like, credits, and not water like it was in tatooine!!! his concept of paying taxes is the hutts arbitrary charging farmers a portion of their water harvest if they felt like it, he doesn't know that the same money the republic is giving him to feed his herd of force sensitive children is the same money he would be paying back. he heard someone like din or boba say tax money finances xwing cops and since he already fucking hates the xwing is not symbol of fighting for freedom but now is enforcing the status quo, he ain't paying them shit!! not my hard earned water!!! nevermind the jedi academy is in like a jungle planet with unlimited access to water.

[lunapics]

Some poor tax processor in the Core; “Why does Skywalker Academy keep mailing us a bucket of water every month?”

Ghost of Anakin: “Hey! He mails you a whole entire bucket of life saving water! More than what he owes. Be grateful!”

[cruzfucker]

the walking dead, game of thrones, and breaking bad were just superwholock for men

[cornfield-cryptid]

Game of Walking Bad

[thehighwayphantom-deactivated20]

[lycanthrop-ee]

why the fuck is this so funny

[spockgirl]

stan twitter introduced to concept of reading

[chemtrailguy]

this is like a boomer comic brought to life and now we all have to apologize to boomers

[ruinpowder]

this is so funny? imagine trying to get all holy on someone when your pinned post is about how much anime porn you watch

[snugglyaggron]

[hockeylvr42]

Ahh, bidoofs law never fails to make me laugh

[dankmemeuniversity]

[arcanenrok]

The distinction:

Galaxy brain indicates intelligience of something (can go in either direction)

Pooh indicates level of refinement and/or pretentiousness

Red Eyes Guy indicates level of appeal to personal taste

[asundergrowth]

Galaxy brain: Logos

Pooh: Pathos

Eyes guy: Ethos

BUZZFEED PAY ME ROYALTIES

BUZZFEED PAY ME ROYALTIES

BUZZFEED PAY ME ROYALTIES

BUZZFEED PAY ME ROYALTIES

BUZZFEED PAY ME ROYALTIES

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

THE FULL COMPILATION THUS FAR

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

COLLECTING NEW ADDITIONS

[parakeet]

so i googled canary memes and this is what i saw