Gayle Waters-Waters {Sentence Starters}
“I want this place looking like Disney on Ice in ONE minute!”
“We all need to look our best. That’s why I suggest we each wear two pantsuits.”
“WE DON’T HAVE BEACH TOWELS!”
“So I get in my car and start flooring it in reverse down the highway, flipping the bird out my sunroof…”
“Look at me, I’m a monster. I’ve destroyed something beautiful.”
“I’m fine. Got a little singed in there, but not the end of the world.”
“So, I stole a pig, blamed _____ for it, and he/she spent a night in the big house.”
“I’ve never felt more out of place and more uncomfortable.”
“It’s the kind of embarrassment that you feel in your ass. Most embarrassment you feel in your stomach. This is ass embarrassment.”
“You see, I’d been up the past two days and nights trying to make a bread suit so I could sneak into the sold out crouton expo.”
“I’d take him out in the backyard and mess him up like a leaf pile.”
“Quiche is just pizza that went to private school.”
“Well, I got news for you asshole: I rigged that thing with C-4 so that when I go, it goes.”
“So, I black out from the rage. Then I come to covered in Hollandaise sauce.”
“Get rid of the couches! We can’t let people know we SIT!”
“TUESDAYS. AREN’T. GOOD FOR ME.”
“If _____ rescued a pitbull, then I’m rescuing a shark!”
“I can’t go in until this song’s over!”
“This is a dish towel. We need a hand towel! What are we, BARBARIANS?”
“I won’t be for long if you keep looking so damn fine.”
“Nothing gets me hot like a decorative twig bundle.”
“What would you have done?”
“I called the Coast Guard and asked them to airlift me out, but they won’t.”
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