Sweeter than hell

Santana Lopez. 1/3 of the Unholy Trinity, and second-in-line to take over the Cheerios if something real tragic happened to Miss Fabray. Flips and splits and all that fun stuff that messes up your junk if you can't do it right. Senior at McKinley High, and proud(ish) member of the New Directions. I'm legal and up for almost anything. Plus, I've got plans for this year. Auntie Tana's about to make it big.

[tanafied]

Make a line, losers.

Keep your hugs short (3 seconds max unless we're related or you're BrittBritt). If you smell bogey, I'm moving on.

Make sure to sign your checks. Iron any bills flat so we can keep this speedy.

And yeah, I know red's my color.

I'll be signing yearbooks until I get sick of doing it. Snix's a bit of an artist so she might pop in too.

Congrats. It only took four years for Auntie Tana to hate you people a little less.

[tanafied]

msmarleyxrose replied to your post: If we lose this, I swear.

Australia would be pretty cool to live, actually.

Not if Snix is the one putting together your room and board. Have you ever seen a rat give birth, Brunette?

[tanafied]

If we lose this, I swear.

Snix and I will have you all shipped to some island nobody cares about to live out the rest of your dumb lives. Australia or something.

[modernday-monroe-deactivated201]

[modernday-monroe-deactivated201]

Whatever.  It’s late, and I still have packing to do, so I’m ending this here.

[tanafied]

You win, San. I'm making up a bogus excuse so I don't have to come up with comebacks to your being flawless.

Goodnight, sleep tight, all that fun stuff.

[modernday-monroe-deactivated201]

[modernday-monroe-deactivated201]

Sorry, not my thing.

[tanafied]

You don't want to get into a gay joke contest with me, Kwin.

[modernday-monroe-deactivated201]

[modernday-monroe-deactivated201]

Are you seriously still using Snix as an excuse for you lashing out, Santana?…  Really?…

[tanafied]

Bite us.

[puckermanistheman-blog]

[puckermanistheman-blog]

You know what would be an awesome tradition? You gettin me numbers of all the ladies you know.

[tanafied]

What, and be responsible for you getting drinks thrown in your face about a thousand times? You would smell like Patches' dumpster after about five minutes with those chicks.

...

That's actually not a bad deal, now that I think about it.

[modernday-monroe-deactivated201]

[modernday-monroe-deactivated201]

Because I kind of like being here, and someone could easily pin it on “that blonde freshman awake in the middle of the night from the top floor window” might risk me getting into trouble.  

[tanafied]

That really sucks. For you.

I never have that problem when Snix rears her super hot head. She could do anything and no one would be able to pin it on me.

[modernday-monroe-deactivated201]

[modernday-monroe-deactivated201]

There were a bunch of frat guys outside singing R.E.M’s “End of the World as We Know It”, and I almost threw one of my roommates books at them so shut up.  Drunken guys singing way off key is not something I want to hear…

[tanafied]

Almost? That's disappointing. What, did you give them an I-Message instead?

"I feel blank when you blank. I need you to blank. Can you do that?"

[modernday-monroe-deactivated201]

[modernday-monroe-deactivated201]

Thank God I’m a repented Christian then~  

The fact people are feeding into it just makes me shake my head at everyone, but whatever.  It’s funny.  Really, really, stupid, but funny.

[tanafied]

Thank God I... yeah, not going to finish that sentence. And I'm Catholic. 

I think.

I'm surprised there aren't more nutjobs on my street waving signs around. I found a package of water balloons this morning and I really want to see if they still work.

[puckermanistheman-blog]

Man, I’m so glad we’re finally on the 21st. ‘Cause yesterday, people were makin’ end of the world jokes like no tomorrow.

BAZINGA!

[tanafied]

The Mayans had some awesome traditions, though. Sacrificing people they didn't like? Actually genius.

[modernday-monroe-deactivated201]

This “end of the world” stuff is ridiculous, and the fact people believe is is just… Honestly, it’s really stupid.  Even if it is amusing.

[tanafied]

What's really ridiculous is that I never finished the sequel to Trouty Mouth. 

And now we're all going to go up in flames and be judged for our sins or whatever. I haven't even made my first million.

[puckermanistheman-blog]

Aint no near death experiences be bringin me DOWN. Scept its a fucking pain and a half to type with just one arm.

Whaaaaaaddup dudes and dudettes?

[tanafied]

You're an ass and I hate you.

Welcome back.

[tanafied]

(Entry #3) Fucking Puckerman.

TAGGING → Santana M. Lopez

LOCATION → N/a

TIME FRAME → March 16, 2012

GENERAL NOTES → Not entirely sure what this is, but here ya go. Santana's thoughts, mostly aimed at Puck. Pretend I posted it on time?

Holy hell. 

Holy. Hell. 

You know, sometimes I get this weird feeling in my stomach when things happen to me and it's my fault. I wanna say it's called a conscience, but that might be one of those words Quinn whips out like a nerd when she wants to sound better than me. 

Well, now I still have it, that weird feeling. And it's not even my fault. Not my fault you're in a coma, Puckerman. I don't know whose it is but when you wake up you best tell us what happened so it doesn't happen again. Because it freaking sucks. Everything does, more than usual. 

I get that I've got a whole chapter in my little red book dedicated to you and the different animals I'm gonna try and compare your hair to before the school year ends. I get that most of the time when I talk to you it's really to see if you've managed to bum any good weed off anyone now that Ryerson's gone. Also, I get that I flick things at you during History to get you back for all the times you yanked on things (my things, asshat) back in elementary school. Snix was born thanks to you, really. 

It feels like I'm gonna throw up. What is this crap. I practically lived in this hospital back when I thought being a doctor was cool. 

I get that I've stuck you with at least 3 Jared's bills from when we were dating/getting our mack on/whatever you call it. And uh, all those times I called you B and not P whenever we sexted. 

I get it.

But that time in sophomore year when we sang that cheesy song to Mr. Schue? That kickass pool party before school started that I don't really remember because I decided I didn't want fruity drinks in my system? Or even that one time in a whole damn century the Titans won their Homecoming game? 

I get those, too.

I don't know if I'm going soft or not, but yeah. Wake the hell up, Puck. 

-- Santana freakin' Lopez.

[gleekcaps]

[modernday-monroe-deactivated201]

Does this mean “Snix” is gone for good?…

[tanafied]

I love Snix... why would she be gone?

[tanafied]

#Because it's never to early to save your soul for the end of the world. #Unless of course you're Satan #Ooops #I mean SantanA.

[cheeriosandicedlattes]

Smurf Hummel? That’s totally lame. Smurfs aren’t even funny. And whatever, I made it funnier by tying it into the rapture, your welcome for that little biblical lesson. Do YOUR kind even go to church? I though most generally dislike your kind. You know, Lebanese… or spanish? whatever.

[tanafied]

It's because he looks like a Smurf, Kitteroo. Like how you look like a zombie cat who's run a few times into a brick wall called Hideous and I Accept It.

And excuse you, you're talking to the former VP of the Celibacy Club. I'm holier than thou and you. By the way, is it a church you actually go to, or like, somewhere your parents send you for the weekend so they can Febreeze the crap out of the mothballs that come flying out of your hair (just all up in there) when you're not paying attention to which way your pony's swinging?