Long Lost Cowboy

Started T: 5/2013, Top Surgery and Hysterectomy: 6/2014, Phalloplasty: 7/2016. I have tagged my phalloplasty posts as "phallo thoughts"

[tankthetransguy]

I hope I never stop appreciating hearing Pupperoo snore. She’s so loud but I know it means she’s at peace and happy. She spent all day playing, cuddling with family. She got some extra cheese (which we know isn’t healthy, but cmon every once in a while isn’t going to kill her). She didn’t bark at the Amazon man and she stopped begging as soon as I told her to knock it off.

I am grateful for this little gal , she saved our marriage and she saved my life. And she doesn’t know it one bit. She thinks she’s just here to provide love and support when my wife has a panic attack or eat the crumbs I drop after dinner. She doesn’t even know how much she’s helped us.

[androidboy]

i have no object permanence about myself. if i’m not in anyones eye sight i assume i have ceased to be. finding out people remember i exist, think about me, and even talk about me when i’m not actively in front of them is startling news every time it is brought to my attention

[whatnownotagain]

Giorgi Bear

Giorgi Bear

[roughridingrednecks]

Igor

[truevikingblood-blog]

[whatnownotagain]

Regan Grimes

[tankthetransguy]

She keeps bringing up how I have such masculine interests and I don’t get it. I’ve always had these interests. Nothing has changed.

“You’re so into powerlifting and strength sports, you like watching baseball, your cigars, etc” like I have been into most of that since day one? Maybe it’s because she’s thinking about how it may impact our kids?

Freakin me out a little. Did she not see me as masculine before? Was I not manly to her before? I am probably overthinking it but cmon.

[tankthetransguy]

I am afraid I will never love a baby as much as I love my dog

[tankthetransguy]

Man I am so afraid for when Pupperoo passes. She’s been such a blessing. And I worry I don’t do enough for her.

I mean we have our whole morning routine where I feed her, give her her medicine, take her out, and tuck her in to a therapeutic bed with her own blanket. But I also have to tell her to stay out of the kitchen, no she can’t come to the bathroom with me, yes I have to work 10 hours and spend 2-3 hours after at the gym.

But then again, I spent one day this week with her at home.. we spent 3 hours outside mucking around and the rest inside. She chose not to hang out in the room I was in but when she checked on me, I’d give her good pats and lovings. Plus today we walked the half mile or so round trip to the shop so she could get an outting. All the older ladies there LOVE her and shout out her name when she walks in the door. She loves the attention from afar and will go between my legs when she’s nervous. We walked up and down all the aisles and I let her just sniff her heart away. She was surprisingly most interested in the chicken feed and beer aisles. Wonder if there’s rat or mice poop on them.

Idk man. I love this damn dog and she’s really a great support system. Even when she’s snoring away, I feel comforted.

[tankthetransguy]

Whoa

Hit it from the side, the back, missionary, cowgirl.. did a bunch of other oral and manual stuff. She was down and down for a LONG time. I couldn’t cum for some reason. That was fun but so frustrating because she didn’t want to give up on me. Sundays seem to be the new day and I’m not complaining.

Except it seems like she always has an entire bottle of wine beforehand.. idk what to do about that.

[anexperimentallife]

[caesarsaladinn]

Tolstoy was right

[beggars-opera]

One of my favorite apocryphal stories of the American Revolution that I love so much is that on the morning the war started, Anna Munroe, wife of one of the soldiers, said that she kneaded her bread while crying, because she was convinced that her husband would be dead before she would have to knead it a second time.

It's poignant but easy to overlook, I think, what she's really saying there. Anna's husband walked out the door the night before, leaving her with no certainty that he would ever walk back in again. Soldiers were marching through the streets. She could hear gunshots. And through all of it, she was at home alone with three small children, with no choice but to go through the motions of a normal day. Bake the bread. Feed the baby. Milk the cow. She couldn't just curl up in a corner with her head in her hands, because despite the battle, life was still going on around her, other people depended on her, and she had to keep on living.

[tankthetransguy]

Love that I get to brag about my team members.

Hate that I’m not getting credit for the shit I deserve.

[cloudshaping]

[tankthetransguy]

“Selfishly, I personally would like to see you managing x instead of in [current position] “

Asked him to clarify and he backpedaled. Gathered that basically current person in x role isn’t doing the job well enough and it’s understood that I WOULD do it well. And that my current role is likely not as important as I’d like to think it is. Despite both my boss and myself being on track to win some big accolades.

But okay sure. Whatever.

[tankthetransguy]

I hate the fuckin holidays

I feel trapped. I want to run away. I want to give up. Throw it all away. I could get my CDL and just drive all over. Fuck this.

7 days sober and like 11 days out from a meet. I’m worn down, exhausted and frustrated. I don’t wanna be around people anymore. I want to quick the Craft and run away. I deleted the discord channel I was on. I give up on everything.

[bigmusc]

[bigmusc]