Tanzel the Shredder

🔮he/him🔮 magic posers SHALL NOT INTERACT 🎸safe place for bard wizardry 🎸 a founding member of the MAGI movement ⚰️side blog for @sludgemental⚰️

[tanzel]

reminder to always have orbs with a flared base!!!!

[tanzel]

*waves staff around*

PRINGLE CAN DICK!!!!!!

[the-gnomish-bastard]

*I emerge from behind a tree with my staff*

STACKED EXPO MARKERS, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

[tanzel]

*waves staff around*

PRINGLE CAN DICK!!!!!!

[tanzel]

*does wizardly jig*

APPRENTICE DOWN!!!

[the-magi-movement]

We are the Mages Against Governed Interference or the M.A.G.I movement. we stand against the councils, Normal, Better, Evil ect. We believe that magic should be truly free and unconstrained.

Founding members:

@precariouswizardry

@tanzel

@gay-malevolent-wizard

@b0g-w1z4rd

[precariouswizardry]

[the-better-wizard-council]

That spell is banned. Do not do that.

[precariouswizardry]

it is my understanding that summoning bears is a banned spell. I did not summon a bear I simply used a quintessential wizard spell which has seen use for generations of wizardry to turn these fine folks into a bear

[opalescent-apples]

Polymorph into bear is banned by our council.

(pay no attention to the fact that pretty much every other Polymorph spell is not covered)

[precariouswizardry]

with numerous conflicting councils who is to say which governance reigns true. I will not be controlled by bickering elders who have lost touch with the very magic they once held with the same fever as I do now. magic is unruly and fickle. as am I. find me a mage who put their nose to book with the intent to be told what to do and I will find you an honest faerie. I say down with the councils and down with the druids whispering in their ears

[opalescent-apples]

You misunderstand. We align with the druid council to know the chaos of nature, to make both our councils powerful.

None command us.

[precariouswizardry]

if the councils were truly equal, wizards would be able to ban druid spells. but here we are being policed on bear magic of all things. those who command entire forests worry that a stray mage could misuse a single animal. what does nature itself have to fear from its own creations? the ban on bear spells is outrageous and I will continue to polymorph bears until I am killed or change in wizard governance is implemented

[opalescent-apples]

Well, I suppose you are a precarious wizard.

Still, we do not, as a show of alliance to druids and skeletons.

In turn, the forests near us are richer in ingredients, and the undead hordes provide a level of security most could only dream of.

But there is little to be done if you wish to remain on the path of bear transformation.

Unless...

I don't suppose you might partake in a Wizard's Wager, over a duel?

I win, you stop using bear spells.

You win...well, tell me your condition, and I'll see if we both agree. If we do...

May the better wizard win.

[precariouswizardry]

you challenge a BattleMage to a duel?

so be it. as the challenged I name our instruments of harm. blades and blades alone. you may leave your spell book in your tower.

name the time and place. bring a second.

[opalescent-apples]

What would be your prize if you win?

(I sharpen my sword of reinforced dragonbone)

[precariouswizardry]

firstly you did not name time and place so you're already not following proper duel etiquette

though you are not of a station to truly satisfy my wants for the wizarding world. so I would ask this of you. upon your demise at my hand you will be ready to fight by my side when I choose to call upon you on my quest for true wizard freedom

[opalescent-apples]

Hey... out of character: can you ignore my last move? I realized this would be more interesting if I fought instead of running. Sorry about that.

[opalescent-apples]

also @precariouswizardry the time is whenever is convenient for you to tag me or go to the askbox. Whatever works (no idea about time zones)

The duel location ought to be in the Orchard. It is not far.

As for my station...ahaha. You underestimate a veteran of the Skeleton War armed with a blade of their own make...

[precariouswizardry]

@opalescent-apples here and now will do just fine. my second @tanzel will be playing a war song for the match.

(I arrive to the orchard wearing armor made of the night sky, welding a wooden blade fermented in every potion in my pantry along with a large shield covered in bottles of fire)

[tanzel]

*plays the ballad of the cracked out speedy performer 'Free Bird' in order to buff @precariouswizardry *

[tanzel]

the unfairness spewed out by the councils that rule over the reasonable wizards of the land progressively make lives harder for us, the people below the councils, while those who reside in the councils may use the spells as they please. who knows if they abide by their own laws? who are we as mages to have our independence robbed from us? first it was bear polymorphism, then it was testicular torsion. they are taking away our freedom and making us weaker. this unbalance will not sustain without consequence. RISE.

[tanzel]

skanking knight: CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CL

[precariouswizardry]

your irresistible dance spell is one of the most potent I have ever witnessed

[tanzel]

i thank you dearly, fellow mage

[tanzel]

skanking knight: CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CL

[jewqueer]

WE USED TO BE A COUNTRY! HOW WILL I PROTECT MY FAMILY IF I AM NOT ALLOWED TO TWIST SOME NUTS? GODDAMN LIBERALS KEEP RUINING EVERYTHING.

[precariouswizardry]

reading the stars is actually quite easy when you think of them like a beautiful man and kiss him passionately on the mouth

[tanzel]

*signs a magical scroll that rolls up in the air and dissipates into glitter*

the divorce is finalized

[tanzel]

the fae took the fucking kids. cant have shit.

[tanzel]

*gathers up all of my mana*

I CAST.... HURGGHHH... NICKELBACK!!!!!

[pollution-wizard]

i pull out a

HUGE MAGNET

and starting magnetically pulling you towards my EVIL POLLUTION MOAT

[localtransvamp-deactivated20241]

Y'all have no idea how shitty the wifi is in my gothic castle

[tanzel]

*gathers up all of my mana*

I CAST.... HURGGHHH... NICKELBACK!!!!!

[potatoisasnake]

Share your wizard wisdom, I'll go first.

Never leave your explosive potions in places small children can reach.

[tanzel]

do not listen to too much post punk and darkwave, it will turn you into a vampire