Life Is... @targetaquired1002 - Tumblr Blog

PORN!

Okay this isn’t one of those post’s that has an eye catching title then has nothing to actually do with the title. I really am about to lay some hard shit on you about porn and my porn watching tendencies. Really!

Okay. So I started watching porn around the age 15. but before that it was sneaking glances at typical dirty things like girls in bikinis, guys in underwear, steamy shows on TV and my personal favorite: looking up random dirty words I knew on urban dictionary to see what came up (the definitions usually have a dirty story as an example). So, I didn’t make a habit out of watching porn until last year when I realized how great masturbating can be when you know yourself pretty well. And I do. Now, don’t think that people masturbate because they have no other options. I have options. With guys my age all I have to do is stick my butt in the air and I’ll have more than enough options. However, me, myself, and I make a great fucking team (no pun intended).

Okay I’ll spare you the details this time about my “me time”. But I will tell you all the juicy details about my share of pornography.

First things first: I watch A LOT of porn. Why? Well it’s fun, duh. I like the feeling I get when I see people (or person, whichever) getting it on. I mean when I was little I was excited to watch animals do it on the discovery channel (no not like bestiality). It made me feel like I was watching something totally wrong. So naturally, that feeling transferred to human porn. So it gives me a rush. I, like most people, also watch porn to help “inspire” my play time (if you know what I mean).

Second thing about my porn life, what types of porn do I watch? Well, that depends. Sometimes I’ll just be watching tv and a scene of people fucking or something close to it comes on. Then I just get the urge to look it up. If the guy ties the girls hands to the bed then suddenly I’m watching bondage videos (not my favorite, but I have a pretty open mind). And other times I’ll just catch myself thinking about something that would be really hot (at that moment), like doing it out in the open, or in a cab, or who knows what else. Really, I’ve watched a lot of porn, which means I’ve watched a lot of different genre’s of porn.

I have to say. That when you look for videos based on tags (it’s usually that page where you scroll down and genres are listed by category and it goes on for-fucking-ever) you’ll see a bunch of random ass tags. In fact, I’ll pull some up for you right now. I’m going to use Fuq.com just because that’s the site I use the most.

I’m going to choose a weird hashtag for every letter. Ready?

3D Monster

Amputee

Braces

Clothed Pissing

Disco

Encouragement

Foot Worship

Gyno Exam

Hospital

Innocent

Jungle

Kitchen

Lactating

Mummification

Nun

Old Farts

Piss Drinking

Rectal Exam

Soccer

Tickling

Uncut Dick

Vegetable

Whaletail

Xmas

Yacht

I’ll let you have fun figuring out what some of those mean. Point is, you fuckers are in to some weird stuff. Some letters had so many fucking random ass tags that I had to actually think about which one was more…out there.

Anyway, porn is great. Orgasms are great. And orgasms without a sweaty, heavy breathing, human being (who has that one habit you hate) are also great. So go suck that dick, go balls deep in that sex doll, or finally get the whole plug up your butt. This is me, as a human being, telling you to be human (as weird as you might be). -Bay :)

targetaquired1002

Update I went from watching porn to actually doing porn and it's even more fun on this side of the screen!

Follow me on my new (nsfw) blog! @haremskitten for nudity and fun!

beejr-deactivated20230207

when the demogorgon takes you to the upside down

patydin-deactivated20181026

disimba

Deep.

bongtokingprincess-deactivated2

THISS LITERALLY JUST FUCKED ME UP

walkingonsmoke

Agreed ^^

erikkafit-deactivated20170830

You guys…. This baby came into my work today 😭❤️

fruitsaladchewits-deactivated20

David Holmes was Daniel Radcliffe’s stunt double for the first six Harry Potter movies, and he was set to be his stunt double for the final two movies, but while testing out a flying stunt (famous for being a very dangerous stunt in itself) for Deathly Hallows Part I, he was thrown against a wall, and fractured his neck. The incident left him paralysed for life from the chest down, with only limited movement within his arms and hands.

marauders4evr

Do you have any triggers?

Jello, Popsicles, Soup Broth.

marauders4evr

Nah, I never joke about Jello, Popsicles, and Soup Broth…

marauders4evr

Indeed, I am!

I’m a disability advocate whose triggers are Jello, Popsicles, and Soup Broth.

marauders4evr

I legit just lost a follower over this.

They must be really big fans of Jello and/or Popsicles and/or Soup Broth.

marauders4evr

For those who have trouble detecting sarcasm - the last sentence about them being fans of said foods was sarcastic. But a few people have really unfollowed me over this.

The other three replies, including the original, are serious.

Jello, Popsicles, and Soup Broth are my legit triggers. I would never joke about that.

I know it sounds bizarre. But trust me, I’m serious.

(I’m also not a big fan of fluorescent lights.)

marauders4evr

It should be noted that I haven’t received this many death threats since the Great Snape War of 2013.

marauders4evr

This is by far my favorite reply:

marauders4evr

All right, folks, take your seats, because class is now in session! Let’s have a little talk…

Yeah, yeah, I know it’s Saturday, but learning is fun.

I’ve had seven surgeries in my lifetime and will probably have many more in the future. And one such surgery, which happened about nine years ago, involved really fun (*sarcasm*) things like tubes that are shoved up your nose and end up in your stomach (I know, I didn’t think it was possible either until they did it), eight gallons of really disgusting fluid, pain, lots of pain, and the direct order that I had to evacuate every single bit of food that was inside me.

And that was before the surgery even began!

After the surgery, I had to stay in the hospital for about a month.

And I was on what’s called a clear-liquid diet.

What’s a clear-liquid diet?

For this particular hospital:

Water, Jello, Popsicles, and Soup Broth.

A meal that was delivered to my hospital room three times a day.

That’s all I was allowed to eat.

For those of you who enjoy doing math: I was in the hospital for a month, which is roughly 30 days. I had to eat this meal three times a day. That’s 90 bowls of soup broth, 90 containers of Jello, and 90 Popsicles. Ninety times I had to eat these things. In the span of a month. 90.

Which means that nine years later, I am actually physically unable to eat these three items without vomiting. It’s a sensory trigger.

So why didn’t I talk about this from the beginning instead of enduring four death-threats, six unfollows, and nineteen messages/comments (not including the death threats and the ones that just said ‘Popsicles, Jello, Soup Broth’ over and over again)?

Well, there’s two reasons.

A.) I don’t have to. People don’t ever have to explain why something is triggering to them. Once they say that it is, it should just be a given.

And

B.) The above comment is right. I am a disability advocate. And part of that advocacy includes advocating on behalf of people with triggers. And so, you’ve all been part of a social experiment for the past few hours - an experiment to see how people react when they see that someone has really bizarre triggers (out-of-context).

And I’m a bit sad to say that many of you have failed. Even other people with triggers and/or other advocates.

So listen because this is really important:

I know that triggers are a sensitive subject and I know that there are people out there who do joke about them.

But there are even more people out there who have triggers that seem really bizarre and even silly.

And you know what?

You cannot invalidate those triggers.

You cannot assume that someone is joking, you cannot assume that they’re mocking other people with triggers that are more commonplace or ‘sensible’, you cannot assume that they are anything less than genuine.

If someone tells you that they have a trigger, you need to believe them, no matter how bizarre it might seem.

Class Dismissed.

sherlck-deactivated20140622

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs

feathery-soul-deactivated201408

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

agnosticwitch

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

moontideempress

vimbia

Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.

jazmynedrakeford

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

youhavearighttoyourwrongopinion

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

caribe-bby

Y'all suspect af😂

dookiediamonds-deactivated20200

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*

electricocelot

Make sure you set up a solid alibi Pay for everything in cash

Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police

fierybluebeacon

I accidentally created the most soothing drink in the world after trying to recreate the hot honey drink in Ponyo! I guarantee it will remove all stress and troubles, I’ve had like 3 today because it makes me so happy

seelseelbananapeel

I JUST MADE THIS AND IT’S SO TASTY *(*´∀｀*)☆ omgggg ♥ ♥ ♥

reedwulf

Tried immediately after reading this: confirmed to be delicious.

I know it sounds kind of weird, but it’s mild and sweet and just the right temperature for immediate consumption in any weather. Definitely give it a try!

daddyandstuffieprotector-deacti

I MUST TRY THIS AND WATCH PONYO AGAIN!!!

#blackgirlmagic

millemii

I’m trying.

abbxieelifestyle

😔😔😔

youngsuggestion-blog

You’re allowed to be excited about the little things. You’re allowed to be goofy. You’re allowed to be dorky about your favorite tv show, to make blanket forts, to enjoy cheesy movies, even just to sleep with stuffed animals. You’re allowed to do any of the things that make life a little more bearable. It’s fine, ok?

targetaquired1002

This makes me happy

quakerjoe

There has NEVER been a point in US history where not ONE of the living, former Presidents did NOT support the candidate of their party. ALL the current, living former presidents and the incumbent do NOT support Trump.

paprika

squishycalum

vangoghstss

This is actually v important and needs to be reblogged

thexdarkenedxlight

Gonna just share this:

My European Studies professor decided a few weeks ago to take a Friday and instead of following the syllabus, he spent the entire hour and a half comparing Hitler’s actions from a European perspective to that of what Trump is doing in America. He never repeated a single point, and even used video and photos like this to show the comparison.

To make things better, he had us do an in class assignment for participation points. He first played a clip on youtube of one of Hilter’s speeches, subtitled and 3 minutes long. He then played a clip of one of Trump’s rallies. Our assignment? Copy down every single sentence that matched in translation down on a sheet of paper or a word document that wasn’t repeated. The person with the closest amount to what my professor found got a candy bar.

My professor found, in just three minutes of a speech, that Trump matched 65 different phrases/sentences to that of Hitler’s translation.

65 nearly identical phrases used in his speeches. Take a moment to think about that.

ailuruckus

I’m European. With a degree in History.

This shit ain’t no joke, guys.

leomon32-deactivated20260129

That’s terrifying…

magicalgirlmindcrank

@That Hillary is as bad as Trump anon

scatterations

I’m British born just post-war. It was a miracle we weren’t invaded. My family has Jewish roots. The whole ‘Resurrection of Hitler’ spectre is terrifying.

iwanttodriveyouthroughthenight

From a country that got their democratic freedom only 42 years ago, get a grip America. Value yourselves and take responsibility for the power you have worldwide.