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Portraits of Kath. ✨

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Portraits of Mark. ✨

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Portraits of Mox at a Cafe. 2021.

Photography by yours truly (targetarj)

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To distract me from my grief, I express myself creatively. Photography has always been my go to medium to do that. Being able to capture that feeling in a photograph reminds me that what I felt was real.I hope in time, when I look back at these photographs,it will no longer hurt that much when I do so. For the past two weeks, I distracted myself.I had completed four freelance projects, was doing house errands, and also supervising with the renovations we're having at my late grandmother's home. Most of the time, I'm busy with things needed to be done with the renovations than the freelance work I'm suppose to do. These photographs were taken and edited today, in between our tasks of clearing the house for the carpenter to get to work of taking apart the background wall you see in these photographs, where this framed tapestry used to hang. For someone like me who has not done any passion project for weeks to months now, being suddenly presented with that much space from clearing our dining area, reminded me of a busy time taking photographs at photo studios. I'm definitely a sucker for empty spaces. So I got compelled to do an impromptu self portrait shoot. It's been so long since I had this urge, being able to do this was a needed breather. We had this framed Last Supper tapestry ever since I was a kid. It was always hanged at the top of our ceiling from how I remembered it, a view you will see while sharing a meal with our family. So when we cleared our walls, and I was able to touch the familiar frame, I knew I wanted to use it as props for my shoot. It accumulated dusts over the years, but I didn't mind. When I looked at it, it reminded me of the warm memories we had, of shared meals with our grandparents. Everything's changing so fast now. In a span of weeks, I've been rethinking my life all over again. Being anxious at night; all these uncertainties. Some days, I just want it to slow down a little.