The Library
Part six of ‘The Godswood Escape’
Pairing: Valarr Targaryen x female reader
Summary: The next morning, the princess intends to avoid Valarr. She instead meets some members of her new family.
Word count: 2.9k
Warnings: some left–over angst, sorta spoilers via prophecy? Reader is mentioned to have hair (texture, length or color NOT described).
A/N: it's getting harder and harder to not give the reader a name ngl lmao. Anyway, I do my absolute best to keep her description completely neutral, so if you notice anything that describes her appearance (besides the hair mention), please let me know!
Cross-posted on AO3 (registered users only).
She woke up the next day with her eyes nearly swollen shut and an unbearably heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach. The sun had barely risen from the horizon, letting her know just how little sleep she had gotten. She let out a groan, twisting her body away from the window in annoyance.
She could not bear the thought of having to see her new husband any time soon. She quickly decided she was going to try and avoid him, at least for today. The thought of being made to look into his infuriatingly beautiful eyes, now likely devoid of all their previous warmth, made her sick to her stomach.
She had no wish to call a maid and alert the castle that she had awoken, so she quickly decided to get dressed in an comfortable gown she could put on by herself. She then attempted to make her hair look presentable, her red-rimmed eyes staring back at her through the gilded mirror as she did so. She took a moment to gather her courage before she quietly walked towards the door.
She found the same Kingsguard in front of her door as last night. He briefly tensed up at her sudden appearance, before quickly straightening his back. She could see he was prepared to question her – why was she up so early, why did she get dressed without a maid, did she need anything? – but she quickly held up her hand to silence him before he could speak.
"I will be visiting the library today. There is no need to accompany me, I will be fine on my own."
She was glad that she had paid close attention to the lay-out of the Red Keep the last week, or she would never be able to find the library on her own.
"I'm afraid that is not possible, my lady. I have strict orders from the prince to ensure your safety at all times. I will wait for you outside the library, should you need anything."
She cursed internally at his stubbornness. He would surely report her every move to her cursed husband, ruining her plans of solitude for the day. She glared at him angrily until he averted his eyes.
"Alright," she gritted her teeth in annoyance, "Follow me then."
She quickly made her way down the hall, forcing the knight to quicken his step to catch up with her. She had no wish to linger in the hallway any longer than necessary.
The library had quickly become her second favorite place in the Red Keep, after the Godswood. The thought of the gardens only seemed to sour her mood now, however, and she knew the library to be large enough that she would likely not have to see another soul for the rest of the day. She had spend quite some time in there since her arrival, and she had not seen anyone other than her husband, which was only whenever he accompanied her. It was the closest thing to peace she was like to find today.
Though it was still very early in the morning, some lords and ladies already roamed the halls. She did not have the strength to speak to any of them, so whenever they greeted her, she only nodded back and tried her best to smile at them. She knew the heartache was still evident on her face, with dark circles visible under her swollen eyes. She could only hope that they did not look too closely at her as she passed them as quickly as she could.
No matter how much she tried, she could still not wrap her head around Valarr's actions last night. He had seemed so adoring and earnest ever since she met him. His sudden shift made very little sense to her. What had she done wrong, to make him treat her in this manner ?
Tears burned behind her eyes as she finally approached the library. The guard rushed ahead, intent on opening the door for her. She just nodded at him while she stepped inside cautiously, not having the strength to thank him.
The library was larger than any other she had ever seen. She was told that only the library that rivals it was at the Citadel, though she had never seen it for herself. There were rows of dark mahogany bookshelves as far as the eye could see, with matching tables and chairs covering the middle section of the room. Small spiral staircases allowed access to the second floor of the library, though those shelves carried the less popular books. Every once in a while, the rows of bookshelves was interrupted by a small nook where some armchairs and sofas stood surrounding a fireplace.
She had her sights set on a comfortable chair on the second floor, all the way in the back of the library, far away from prying eyes. She quickly climbed the stairs, holding her skirts carefully as she did so. When she arrived there, however, she found her seat was already taken.
A lanky man sat at the table, bent over a thick leather-bound tome. He had long, silver hair that reached the middle of his crooked back, and his beard was much longer than any she had ever seen. She quickly realized the man was her husband's uncle, Prince Aerys. She had never seen him before, but he was known to be extremely bookish, with very little interest in other worldly affairs. It surprised her that she hadn't seen him here before, though she supposed he might have chosen to hide away elsewhere while the wedding preparation and festivities were still ongoing.
She cursed under her breath at the sight of him, which earned her the attention of the rather unkempt prince in front of her.
"Can I help you, dear?" He asked gently, his pale purple eyes studying her carefully. His gaze seemed all-knowing and familiar, as if he knew everything about her, which made a chill run down her spine. She froze at his attentive gaze, and simply shook her head.
"N-No, Your Grace. I did not mean to interrupt. I–"
"No need for the titles, girl. We are family now. You may simply call me Aerys."
She briefly wondered how he knew who she was, before realizing he had likely seen her together with her betrothed at some point. They had been together quite frequently, after all, and Aerys was known to lurk in the shadows, typically ignored by the rest of the court.
"Alright. I shall leave you alone now, Aerys," she said quietly, casting her eyes to the floor. She took a small step back, intend on turning around before he interrupted her again.
"Come here for a second, dear," he said gently. She had not expected the man to sound so kind, going off of the stories she had heard in the hallways. Perhaps she should know better than to believe those stories now. Still, she no longer knew what to believe after how her husband had treated her. Perhaps what the small folk whispered was correct, and all Targaryens are truly mad, one way or another.
Against her better judgment, she followed his instructions. When she stood next to him, he only patted the chair by his side. She reluctantly sat down, folding her hands across her lap nervously.
Both of them remained silent for a few moments as he studied her with his piercing eyes.
"I dreamed of you."
She looked up at him in surprise. The tale of Daenys the Dreamer had been her favorite story growing up, so she was well aware that the blood of the dragon sometimes had prophetic dreams. She wasn't aware that it still occurred to this day, though.
"Me?" She said stupidly.
He just nodded solemnly in response. When she didn't say anything else, he started to look around anxiously before he spoke again, seemingly scared someone might overhear.
"You are meant to turn the tides of fate, my dear. The prince that was promised shall come from your line, I have seen it."
She knitted her brows at his words. What prince was he talking about, and what was promised and to whom? She racked her brain trying to process his words. Did that at least mean she would bear a son one day? She did not know how to feel about that, seeing as her husband seemingly had every intention of preventing that from happening.
She continued to stare at him, hoping he would clarify what he meant, but he just stared back. The paleness of his irises was almost unnerving to look at. When he did not speak any more, she decided it was best that she let him be.
"Thank you, Aerys, for your… words," she said carefully, "I shall leave you to it now."
He nodded in contentment at that, his gaze immediately returning to the book in front of him. When she finally stepped away, he was hunched over his book again, as if she had never been there at all.
Before she had the chance to walk away, she saw a woman approaching them from down the walkway. The lady was short in statue, with soft brown hair up in an intricate updo and a crimson dress adorning her full figure. Her amber eyes narrowed at the strange girl briefly before recognition seemed to pass over her features. She assumed this to be Aerys' wife, the lady Aelinor Penrose.
"My lady, it is a pleasure to finally meet you," the lady said with a small smile on her face. Her gaze seemed cautious as she scanned the girl's figure up and down as she spoke.
Aerys looked up at the sound of his wife's voice, a smile slowly spreading across his face.
"Good morning, Aelinor! I had a dream about my dear niece here last night," He said excitedly, a gratified smile on his face as he did it.
Aelinor's eyes widened at his words, her eyes darting between the girl and her husband for a second before she approached the prince.
"Was it a bad one?" She asked cautiously, her hand landing on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.
"No, no, not to worry. For once, it was a good one," he replied, his gaze softening as it moved from his book to his new niece. She did not understand the look he was giving her, but she just smiled back at him regardless. He seemed well-meaning, just a bit… complicated. Perhaps that was another common Targaryen trait, with their dragon blood and all.
Aelinor's calculating gaze briefly fell on her now, though it softened considerably at her husband's words. "Aerys, I thought we might break our fast together. Would you like that?"
Aelinor's face seemed prepared for rejection, which struck her as odd, until she remembered she would also reject her own husband if he asked her now. She wondered if this is how her own marriage is to be as well. The thought made a pit form in her stomach.
"No, no, I have to finish this. Perhaps the answers lay in Asshai after all. I must find out more."
He waved his wife's touch away, burying his nose in the thick book in front of him again. Aelinor just closed her eyes in mild frustration, letting out a small, measured breath. She briefly pinched her nose bridge before opening her eyes again, now turning towards the girl.
"Would you like to break fast with me then, my dear? I shall introduce you to Alys, I think she would very much like to get to know you."
She blinked for a second before nodding quickly, a timid smile spreading across her face. This is exactly what she needed – women who understood her new position and could teach her how to act. If her husband was not going to be her ally, it was essential for her survival at court that she make her own friends.
"I would like that very much, my lady."
"Splendid. And also, there is no need for the titles. We are family now, just call me Aelinor."
She almost let out a chuckle at Aelinor unknowingly repeating her husband's words. They might not have been a love match, but they surely seemed to share one mind.
She approached the older woman excitedly, who walked ahead to lead them to her chambers.
"I hope you enjoyed the feast last night, my dear," Alys said with a suggestive smile on her face.
The three ladies had long since finished their meals, now just sipping their tea in Aelinor's solar. She sat at the head of the long table, the two ladies flanking her sides. The sunlight was streaming in through the large windows now, warming them up slowly.
She missed the warning glare Aelinor send her good-sister, but Alys either did not notice or did not care.
"And the bedding, of course," she wiggled her eyebrows at the younger girl. The girl almost choked on her tea then, making her cough loudly.
"Alys!" Aelinor scolded under her breath, smacking Alys' arm.
"What?" Alys asked, genuinely perplexed. "I know it was no fun for you, but from what I've heard, those two are proper in love. Besides, Valarr is a lovely boy, as you well know. Surely he was kind to her."
She kept coughing slightly in attempt to mask the tears that welled up in her eyes at Alys' words. When she finally recovered, both of the ladies were staring at her expectantly. Even Aelinor could not hide her curiosity.
"I–" She cleared her throat, not sure how to answer. She had no wish to lie to the ladies who had been kind enough to take her in after her husband had cast her out, unbeknownst to them. Not to mention that she was a terrible liar, and truthfully, she wanted nothing more than to get her emotions off her chest and to get somebody else's opinion on the matter.
"We did not…" The words got stuck in her throat, but she could see by the shock on their faces that they understood her meaning nonetheless.
"Really?" Alys said, clearly perplexed. She sat further back in her chair, folding her hands in front of her on the table. "Really? For what reason?"
"But they found blood on his sheets…" Aelinor wondered silently, looking at Alys in question, who had a confused expression on her face as well.
She simply shrugged in response, tears starting slipping down her cheeks now. The two ladies said nothing for a moment, just giving her sympathetic looks. Aelinor, who sat next to her, simply put a comforting hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"I do not know," she pushed out, "He would not give me a reason. He simply said it was for the best. I am quite sure he plans to cast me aside."
She did not dare to look at Aelinor as she said it, though she could see her tense up in the corner of her eye.
"Nonsense!" Alys said cheerfully, trying to ease the tension, "The way he looks at you, I cannot imagine him ever not wanting you by his side."
"Then what is wrong with me?" She whispered, her voice cracking.
Aelinor took a deep breath next to her, leaning forward in her chair.
"I wondered that myself for many years. I thought he perhaps had a mistress he loved more, or that he was… not interested in women at all. But eventually, I realized that the fault did not lay with me. I did my best to be a dutiful wife, but he did not reciprocate, so that is where it ended. I tried to be his friend instead, his confidante, and I still am. That was enough for me. It had to be."
Aelinor looked at her for a reaction, but when she did not give on, she let out a sigh before continuing.
"But Valarr is not like Aerys. Aerys has never looked at me the way Valarr looks at you. Perhaps he felt too much pressure last night, and simply wishes to do it at another time. He is the heir's heir, and that comes with a heavy burden and and a lot of expectations. Maybe he is simply not ready, and wishes to get more comfortable with you before you do… your duty."
She just looked at Aelinor, tears still in her eyes. "How do I know if it isn't something I have done, if he will not give me a reason?"
Both women let out a sigh at that, all too familiar with men and how they act.
"Men all have their flaws, my dear," Alys replied, waving her hands around as if to dismiss her worries from the air, "Particularly when it comes to their emotions. This is his failing, not yours."
She just nodded at that, her tears slowly drying on her cheeks. Perhaps there was some truth to what they said. She could not pinpoint anything she had done wrong, and even if she had, it was Valarr's responsibility to tell her what it was.
She was far from ready to forgive him, that much was clear, but she would not continue to avoid him. This is his problem to solve now. In the meantime, she would try and find her own joy and purpose in her new royal life.
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