So, most of what I'll post is my own Tarot-related art. But also, tips, meanings, etc. If you want to ask me about myself or my art or whatever, feel free! Avatar created with Rinmaru Games-Fantasy Fortune Teller, header image from a google search.Ā
Put the Tarot art on the back burner for a few, sorry guys, but the next one wonāt be even started for a couple days. However, I feel so fan-fucking-tastic at the moment. I wrote out a letter to someone who hurt me deeply in the past, ended it with āyou have no power hereā and did a little burning ritual to kind of help me let it go. I feel amazing and I just had to say so ^_^.
The letter thing was a Self Love September thing that I did, just forgot how therapeutic writing a letter with no intent to send it can be!
So I picked up the idea of Self-Love September from Kelly-Ann Maddox and Iām really feeling good about it. I also changed up my sleep/bedtime routine a bit and Iām actually feeling better. Itās not so hard to wake up all the way and Iāve fallen asleep quicker since implementing the changes. Iāve also been working on a Self-Love Journal, and after watching another of Kelly-Annās videos (shock, much wow lol) this morning, I started writing in it and I wanted to share something that I wrote because I feel like itās an issue Iāve heard of a lot of people struggling with which is being nice to yourself. I spent a lot of my life having very few, if any, people treat me well and now I find myself repeating the negative things back to myself at times, which is sort of what I was writing about. but I wrote:
I spent so long with nobody being nice to me and i hated it, so by the Gods Iām going to be nice to myself! I fucking deserve it!
And I feel so empowered now, reading back over it, it really feels amazing to make that kind of committment to myself that no matter what, I will be nice to myself because goodness knows, I deserve to have someone be nice to me. Of course, I am now married to a wonderful man who treats me well and takes care of me when Iām sick and tries to help me through my issues but having that knowledge that even when he isnāt home, I can say/do nice things for myself is something else.
I feel like thereās this sort of idea that being nice to yourself means less, kind of like how a lot of people think that once youāre married, flirting means less coming from your husband/wife but...the opposite is true, in my mind. Now, I watch a lot of what they call āirreverent comedyā, things like Family Guy, American Dad, etc. and while they have their issues (many of them, my husband and I have spent HOURS discussing them) they are still somewhat entertaining and I have occasionally learned something from these shows, which a lot of people might find strange but I donāt really care. Anyhow, thereās an episode of American Dad (spoilers ahead, though itās an old episode) where Francine gets a job at the CIA office where Stan works and Stan flips out. See, he uses his down time at the office to flirt with the other women who work there (shown to be consensual, all in good fun) and he thinks his wife being there will get in the way of that until she tells him itās fine, a bit of harmless flirting. But then Francine is flirting with the other guys and Stan loses his shit even more. He even goes so far as to attempt to hatch a plan with the former secretary (whose promotion got Francine in the office and who is now being ignored by the men because sheās heavy set and Francine is typically beautiful) to get Francine fired. Now, Stan spends time we donāt see putting together some elaborate thing with the bossās sandwich but the former secretary (her name escapes at the moment) goes straight to ākill herā and throws acid in Francineās face. thereās some antics with Francine showing back up at the office, face still melted because sheās being defiant of Stan and whatever. So while Stan tries to find someone to spend time with her, he exposes one of several Chinese spies whoāve been (somehow successfully) posing as Dutch documentarians? that part never made sense. Anyhow, the spy Stan exposes explains to Stan that flirting means more from your spouse by the virtue of it not being expected or of it being accepted that itās lesser. And it was something I hadnāt really thought about before seeing that episode, the fact that some gestures mean less societally because they come from family members or spouses or people who āhave toā say or do something nice.
I even have struggled with this because I would like to make some friends IRL that I could, you know, go have coffee with, joke around with, give hugs to. But I find it difficult to make friends that are compatible with me (and Iām not going into much detail now) and often Iāll say āI donāt have friendsā and my husband will say āyou have meā and itās so sweet, but often Iāll find myself thinking or even saying, āyeah, youāre my best friend, but it doesnāt count because weāre marriedā. To me, that has been rather illuminating, because I even went onto an anonymous forum type site (since shut down) and asked people what they thought, you know. I think I phrased it ādoes your significant other count as a friend?ā and people said āwell they should be on the same ground as a friend and you should hold them to the same standards in the sense of how they treat you, but theyāre different than a friendā and āno, theyāre a separate category of relationshipā which then fed into a strange discussion about how we percieve friendship as not deserving of āloveā or the idea that loving your friends, family and self is seen as secondary to finding that world-stopping romantic relationship, the kind of love worth crossing oceans for. But, letās be honest, I know a lot of people who, when dating someone, would be much more keen on crossing oceans for their closest friends than for their bf/gf. Hell, Iāve even known people who would more quickly travel massive distances for a close friend than a spouse because theyāve known the friend since they were like, 5 and theyāve only been married/known their spouse for like 5 years. So why is it that we downplay those relationships and the gestures within them that are just āexpected/acceptedā by society at large?
Watching Kelly-Ann has been an experience, because sheās sort of shown me that, much like my husband has been trying to tell me, you can be your own best friend and you can march to the beat of your own drum and to hell with anyone who tries to bring you down for it. I guess a second source is what I needed to get the lesson through this thick skull of mine. but, for real, DO THINGS FOR YOURSELF! Be kind to yourself and give yourself treats and time to explore and be in awe of things that excite you. Be in awe of yourself, you know?
Anyway, I rambled on far too long there, but I hope maybe itās helpful to someone else out there.
Listening to Kelly-Ann Maddox talk about hate watching. I do enjoy her voice very much and sheās always got something to say thatās either useful, funny and/or sweet.
So, in connection with learning Tarot and the runes Iāve been doing lots of soul-searching and whatnot and I found this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVQU599JuQU from Kelly-Ann Maddox where she shows her 12-card spread for self-exploration and I decided to give it a shot and...oh, boy were there some things in there! Iām not going to go into a lot of detail, because thereās a lot of personal stuff there, but I got this overwhelming feeling that I needed to look into shadow work more. I mean, Iāve seen/heard the term quite a bit recently and I just wanted to sort of focus on learning Tarot and the runes and put off everything else for a while, but after doing this reading I canāt. Thanks to Kelly-Ann Maddox for sharing, it was super helpful.
Now, on to the whole shadow work thing. Iām still fairly new to all this and I have a lot of stuff to work through and I know itās going to be a long journey. However, if anyoneās got tips on starting shadow work, Iād love to hear them!
Iāve spent the last couple days doing a lot of reading/watching videos about Tarot and the business side of Tarot (because thatās something Iām thinking about doing eventually) and man....thereās a lot to it that I hadnāt considered. I love learning new things like this. Also, if anyone out there has any suggestions, Iād be glad to have them. Anyone you look to for business advice? Best Tarot-related YouTubers? Iād love to hear about them!!
Hereās my take on the Magician. I used a female form because I personally equate the Magician with Sif, because I worship the Norse pantheon. Sif is the goddess of skill and the Magician is all about skill, so to me they go together and I tried to get a feel for Sif in the drawing. I also added some glitter because sparkles and magic have always gone hand in hand to me. Also, this is technically my third Tarot art piece, but Iām not happy enough with the second one to post it and Iām very likely going to re-do it once I get a better feel for drawing the symbols that go with it. Anyhow, let me know what you think.
So, hereās my take on Death. In the Mystical Manga deck, Death is a skeleton w/scythe and cloak, but I felt a little less inclined toward the skeletal look today. Also, where the cloak is sort of open is kind of supposed to be the whole ālook into the voidā thing. I also added to the side some keywords, since itās going to be part of my tarot journal. Oh, and donāt mind the crystals on the corners, I had the fan on and it kept trying to blow my drawing away!
Iām learning Tarot for the first time after a long time of wanting to ^_^ Iām still very new to it, but Iām trying out a few different things to help me learn card meanings, and I wanted a place to sort of...catalogue?...or track? what Iām doing. Anyhow, HELLO and any suggestions are welcome for ways to learn the cards better ^_^
Just for anyone who wants to know:
Iāve only got one deck so far, itās the Mystical Manga Tarot deck and I am loving it. I read a lot before I bought a deck and most sources said that you should pick a deck that resonates with you and I fell in love with the art style.
Iāve been recording my stream-of-conciousness ideas about the cards, in the order theyāre in in my guidebook. Iām also doing a tarot journal, but Iāve been doing that by picking a card thatās either been calling to me, or by just sort of spreading the cards out over a table and āfeelingā for one. Finally, I decided today to do a little art, so I drew myself a Death. Thatās the card thatās sort of been calling to me over the last few days, so I just sort of figured āwhat the hell?ā and did it. Iāll be posting a picture of it in a bit.
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