eddie and shannon are so deeply tragic to me because it's like... the love was there. they did have love for each other. and eddie loved shannon not because anyone told him to but because he was a shy teenage boy and a girl flirted with him and he thought this makes me happy so maybe it can make me happy enough forever. because he grew up with traditional values and was told he had to be the man of the house and that equation simplifies pretty easily to man + woman + 2.5 kids.
and then shannon gets pregnant. and everything gets a little bit too real because the picture-perfect nuclear family is in eddie's hands now and he's realising he doesn't like it at all. and eddie gets scared and eddie runs away because eddie can't do this but he's still a man he still has to provide for his family and eddie never gives up on his family so he might be hiding in war and bloodshed but he's still providing. because if ramon taught him anything it's that a father can be absent from the home but still fulfil his duties to his family.
and eventually eddie comes back home with three gunshot wounds ripped through him and something deeper broken inside of him but this time shannon gets scared and shannon runs away because shannon became a mother too young and she loves chris and she loves him too much to stay with him and eddie because she thinks they're better off without her... but then she and eddie find each other again. and eddie thinks to himself hey maybe this time we can be happy again because chris needs a mother because my son needs a mother because i'm a man and my son needs a father and a mother and then shannon dies.
and eddie blames himself for his death -- blames himself for christopher losing his mother -- and desperately tries to shove down that gnawing feeling inside of him telling him that there's something wrong with him and instead he clings to his romanticised ideal of shannon and convinces himself that she was the great love of his life and the only reason he can't make it work with anyone else is because he lost his soulmate -- because he cannot let himself acknowledge the possibility that there was something doomed in their marriage because that means acknowledging the Big Scary Thing that eddie refuses to look at.
so when kim comes along of course eddie is going to think he's got this miraculous second chance at doing it right -- to fix the ugly broken parts of himself -- so he takes her out on the lake like he and shannon used to do and he lets her do most of the talking and he doesn't want anything physical from her because all he needs is that perfect image of shannon that he's convinced himself is real. but naturally it all falls apart... and for the first time, christopher diaz runs.
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