Sarah. 25. Australia. Been a quiet swiftie since 2008, dancing to Love Story. Reputation is on fire and has brought me to the fandom. Manchester Night 2 A1: Row H, Seat 12 London Night 1: Sec 123, Row 27, Seats 22-23 London Night 2 : Centre Snake Pit!!!! 🐍🐍🐍
not even just heartbreak but emotion period. she was trying in life and in her image during 1989 to be cool and level-headed and not even publicly dating (and it may have helped her feel more sane too) but it also didn’t reflect how she was feeling and idk hearing her scream “i love you” or that say she’s gonna hurt herself to get attention (not actually do it) idk i just??? it’s so real of her. and i get why she locked it away. it’s harder. especially when the world is listening. but i’m so happy we get to hear it.
The Cruelest Summer is out now! Cross the bridge of Cruel Summer (Live from TS | The Eras Tour) and Cruel Summer (LP Giobbi Remix) together. And by cross it, we mean scream it. GO!
Happy 1 Year Of Midnights! Tonight we celebrate an album written by the one who could make us stay. After all the sleepless nights and friendship bracelets we’ve shared, we hope you know you’re never really on your own, kid. 🕰️💙
📸: John Shearer and Kevin Mazur / TAS23 Getty Images for TAS Rights Management
When I was 24, I sat in a backstage dressing room in London, buzzing with anticipation. My backup singers and bandmates gathered around me in a scattered circle. Scissors emerged and I watched in the mirror as my locks of long, curly hair fell in piles on the floor. There I was, in my plaid button down shirt, grinning sheepisgly as my tourmates and friends cheered on my haircut. This simple thing that everyone does, but I had a secret. For me, it was more than a change of hairstyle. At 24, I decided to completely reinvent myself.
How does a person reinvent herself, you ask? In any way I could think of. Musically, geographically, aesthetically, behaviorally, motivationally, and I did so joyfully. The curiosity I had felt the first murmurs of while making Red had amplified into a pulsing heartbeat of restlessness in my ears. The risks I took when I toyed with pop sounds and sensibilities on Red? I wanted to push it further. The sense of freedom I felt when traveling to big, bustling cities? I wanted to live in one. The voices that had begun to shame me in new ways for dating like a normal young woman? I wanted to silence them.
You see, in the years, preceding this, I had become the target of slut-shaming—the intensity and relentlessness of which would be criticized and called out if it happened today. The jokes about my amount of boyfriends, the trivialization of my songwriting as if it were a predatory act of a boy-crazy psychopath, the media co-signing of this narrative. I had to make it stop, because it was starting to really hurt.
It became clear to me that, for me, there was no such thing as casual dating, or even having a male friend who you platonically hang out with. If I was seen with him, it was assumed I was sleeping with him. And so I swore off hanging out with guys, dating, flirting, or anything that could be weaponized against me by a culture that claimed to believe in liberating women but consistently treated me with the harsh moral codes of the Victorian era.
Being a consummate optimist, I assumed I could fix this if I simply changed my behavior. I swore off dating and decided to focus only on myself, my music, my growth, and my female friendships. If I only hung out with my female friends, people couldn't sensationalize or sexualize that—right? I would learn later on that people could, and people would.
But none of that mattered then because I had a plan, and I had a demeanor as trusting as a basket of golden retriever puppies. I had the keys to my mown apartment in New York, and I had new melodies bursting from my imagination. I had Max Martin and Shellback, who were happy to help me explore this new sonic landscape that I was enamored with. I had a new friend named Jack Antonoff who had made some cool tracks in his apartment. I had the idea that the album would be called 1989, and we would reference big 80s synths and write sky-high choruses. I had sublime, inexplicable faith, and I ran right towards it. In high heels and a crop top.
There was so much that I didn't know then, and looking back, I see what a good thing that was. This time of my life was marked by the right kind of naïveté, a hunger for adventure, and a sense of freedom I hadn't tasted before. It turns out that the cocktail of naïveté, hunger for adventure, and freedom can lead to some nasty hangovers, metaphorically speaking. Of course everyone had something to say, but they always will. I learned lessons, paid prices, and tried to...don't say it...don't say it...I'm sorry, I have to say it...shake it off.
I'll always be so incredibly grateful for how you loved and embraced this album. You, who followed my zig-zag creative choices and cheered on my risks and experiments. You, who heard the wink and humor in "Blank Space" and maybe even empathized with the pain behind the satire. You, who saw the seeds of allyship and advocating for equality in "Welcome To New York." You, who knew that maybe a girl who surrounds herself with female friends in adulthood is making up for a lack of them in childhood (not starting a tyrannical hot girl cult). You, who saw that I reinvent myself for a million reasons, and that one of them is to try my best to entertain you. You, who have given me the grace to allow me the freedom to change.
I was born in 1989, reinvented for the first time in 2014, and a part of me was reclaimed in 2023 with the re-release of this album I love so dearly. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine the magic you would sprinkle on my life for so long.
This moment is a reflection of the woods we've wandered through and all this love between us still glowing in the darkest dark.
I present to you, with gratitude and wild wonder, my version of 1989.
I think the coolest part about being a fan from the original album to the re-record is just comparing where your life was then and now, all that’s new and all that’s not, how all this time has passed but this bond and love for Taylor has never wavered. Being present for this just feels like one of the most defining and special markers of time as a Taylor fan, almost like a pinch-me moment. ✨
