Dr Taz

I speak rock fluently

[foxes-in-love]

[boomer-mythology-destroyer]

[red3blog]

I recently saw a post on Nextdoor where they complained that Animal Control wouldn’t come out and deal with some ducks they saw in a pond.

Like, that’s where ducks go. That is duck home. This is where they are supposed to be. Call Animal Control if the duck is in your living room. Not when you are in the duck’s living room.

[ruinedchildhood]

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

tgis is so fucking funny to me. they accidentally Rock Lee'd a retired racehorse

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

imagine youre a fat horse and your new neighbour is a personal trainer

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

horse that reads Marcus Aurelius

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

I was wrong. they didnt rock lee him. this horse is literally Gai. and i wish he was my dad

[amatterofcomplication]

monolingual writers forever deciding that bi/multilinguals must revert to their first language in many situations especially when fucking leads to the conclusion that they've never actually fucked anyone who has a different native language than them

[amatterofcomplication]

meanwhile, multilinguals: fuck, what's this word in my own language again?

[moghedien]

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

[moghedien]

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

[yorgen-sh]

[animentality]

[raccoonmilf]

When I was in grade school I used to send emails to biologists and zoologists asking them questions to get answers to include in school projects I was working on, and would cry when they did not respond because I thought I was stupid for thinking that some random kid would ever be deserving of a response from someone who does something as smart and cool and important as *checks notes* studies frog fungus.

Now, at 29, I’m lowkey having a panic attack because my academic email is filled with middle schoolers wanting me to answer their questions about pygmy raccoons and I keep putting off answering them because I’m so overwhelmed with all the other raccoon stuff I have to do.

Anyway, greatest apologies to any scientist I ever emailed as a child and also an adult.

[raccoonmilf]

I know your research is really important and I appreciate all you are doing but this is so fucking funny

[68623]

I might seem okay but deep down I wanna go on a vacation every month

[beardedmrbean]

[irlwakko]

this is by far my favorite safety/warning sign btw. they really went off with this one

[ri-rawr-isnt-ok]

No cuz I fucking love this sign. It’s not an actual barrier so it’s not like some sort of challenge it simply says “fuck around and you will find out”

[irlwakko]

Ohohoho I LOVE “fuck around and find out” signs, especially the really dramatic and ominous (but true) ones

(Context for the last one: it’s a WWII era sign posted around the soldiers’ washroom mirror, warning them to never discuss military plans in places where civilians could hear them and report back to the enemy, e.g. in restaurants and pubs in the country. “Loose lips sink ships”.)

I also love these two, which I would place in the category of “You already fucked around, now you’re about to find out.”

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

Aerated water is fucking scary. It's water that has a fuckton of gas in it, which reduces the buoyancy to the point where you will immediately start to sink if you fall in.

[aqueerkettleofish]

[rigjuice]

ive been collecting these recently and wanted to add some of my favorites

[ominous-signs]

Official ominous signs

[ibetteracethatinterview]

[theatre-of-dreams]

May the 4th be with You. Always.

http://society6.com/liamhohoho

[catchymemes]

[sweet-soul-brotha]

[bluering8]

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

[hobohobgoblim]