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Happy ?
So my life is hard for an 18 year old. I dont have parents in my life and my aunts passed away in August, 6 days part.. it happened so fast.. I’m graduating this year and it’s so difficult because i dont have support that i need, but i do have a boyfriend who has been there for me when my life turned upside down and he’s been keeping me happy and he’s been helping me with school.
Yes i am happy but i have my days where I’m super moody, annoyed or sad.
“In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you”
Always.
My mind is so fucked up
I’ve been sad lately..
So I recently found out that my tc is moving to a different school. I am heartbroken and extremely distraught. Do you have any advice?
Since your teacher is going to a different school, technically he/she isn’t your teacher anymore which means, you guys can text each other. If you feel like you could ask your teacher for their number or a way just to keep in touch ask your teacher but I would just do that. If you don’t feel like you could ask for a way to keep in touch then, you’ll just have to move on with your life since your teacher is moving to a another school. I wouldnt be too worried.. yes it’s going to hurt but over time you’ll move onto something else
DJ
I wouldnt mine dating a DJ. I find it cool and adverterous because they travel and you get to dance and party with your boyfriend and go back to the play he’s staying at fuck and romance in the hot ton and sleep in and forget everything
Why can’t the love of your life just show up when you’re going through a hard time in your life or just shows up when ever and be like in the guy you’re going to marry
I thought you liked me ? Was that a lie? Was everything a lie?
There’s this guy named Cody and I’ve been friends which him since i was 16.. anyways we’ve been talking on the phone almost everyday and texting everyday! We even had a streak with the Red heart! And he would call me beautiful and say that he wanted a future with me but get this! He was talking to his ex the whole time while on the phone with me and texting me. He even let her sleep in his bed... i literally cried and i was so mad because i wanted something with him but clearly everything he said was a lie.
wtf = wanting true friends
hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive out the roof
““Who did that to you? Who fucked you up so bad, emotionally and mentally that you’ve completely shut down anyone who tries to help you. You don’t talk about your feelings, you push kind people away, and you let negative people in. You refuse to open up and let someone love or care about you. Who fucking did that to you?””
—
I can really relate to this
12:40 pm
I want to tell my family about this guy
This guy has been in my life since I was 16
He’s been there when Gari died
He knew what was going on in my life
His family knows about me
And he cares
He’s really sweet
He listen to me when something is bothering me
He gives me advice or tell me that i need to not care
I need to not care about what people thinks of me or says about me
He just doesn’t want me to care
He knows that i do care and that I’m hurt
So this is his way of looking out for me
He has a sister who is in a long distance relationship with a boy named Ryan
But again he wants my family to know about him
Also he knew about josh and I
He told me that I’m going to regret dating josh
Maybe he was right?
I mean, Josh basically brainshed the family with how he wanted us to see him
Cody isn’t like that
He’s more mature than anyone
He’s still in high school
He’s on a 504 due to his asthma
Anyways, Cody is sweet.
I knew him from a guy named Jacob Murphy, they both “worked” at my home school in the summer to fix the chrome books that the school wanted them to fix
Also the school made them spray paint hornets on the carts so when the teachers signs them out they know who has them and who it goes to next
That’s how i knew him
Jacob and I arent friends and Cody knows that
Cody respects that i dont like him
And i know that Cody is friends with him and I’m fine with them being friends
But like i said, he cares and he’s sweet
His eyes are so beautiful and i love his smile
He is smart even tho he’s still in school but atleast he’s actually getting his diploma instead of getting a GED and not doing anything about it
He actually has his life put together
He’s going to get a job eventually, here soon i think
He’s so sweet even though we might argue over something that was a misunderstanding and he calls me to explain what he meant and i do the same then we say that we’re sorry and we just talk about me doing photography and how much he wants to help me edit photos and that he wants to teach me the correct ways on how to do it
Can’t you believe that a guy wants to help me with something that i like to do?
It’s like he’s so supportive of me and he sees all of my paintings, drawing that I’ve been doing and he told me that I’ve gotten better
Can’t you believe that!
So yeah, I wish i could just openly tell my family about him but now i need to! Now i need too before Cindy is gone.. i don’t want to lose her, she’s still young and healthy. But i want her to meet him. I really do. I just want her to meet him and tell me stuff before she goes to heaven. I mean, I’ve kept this inside and now it’s eating me alive. I just don’t understand why I find this hard to talk about. Idk maybe it’s the age, who knows but I’m 18, so it shouldn’t matter and he knows that you guys are Christians and he respects that. He knows that i was baptised, he knew about Ruth passing away and Gari like i said. He knows a lot for somebody that I’ve been friends with since i was 16 and now that I’m older and he’s older, we both like each other
He wants to take it slooooooow which is a really good thing! And i think that you guys would agree. I even did and i told him if that’s what he wanted then we can and we will
There’s no point in rushing our lives away
He knows a lot about cars and if Gari was a live, i bet they would of bonded and talk about cars. That’s what i want. I want somebody that i am able to bond with and be myself without being judged but also somebody who will like my family and my family to like him.
Cody is like 5’9 or 6ft, I cant remember but he has dark brown long hair, with eyes that changes colors but to me it’s mostly blue or green, it’s pretty. He has a fake tooth in his mouth, he likes playing PC games
I think that you guys will like him, i just hope you guys do. It’s not like he’s 5 years older than me or 10. He’s 2 years older than me.
8:43 pm
I got told some very bad news
It’s the type of news that makes you not sleep
It’s the type of news that makes you hardly eat
But I’m starving
I just ate
I’m so sad
The news is hurting me
What am i supposed to do?
Am i supposed to act like I’m okay?
I’m gonna miss her
I’m gonna miss my aunt
She’s been there ever since i was in my mom belly
She’s always been there
Poof she’ll be gone soon
What am I supposed to?
How will i live with my life
It’s gonna be Sad when she died
She’s already dying though
I dont want her to die
What if cancer never existed
Would she be healthy?
Would she not die?
I need you
Vacation isn’t going to be the same when you’re gone
I love you
I’ll always love you
5:40 pm
All i wanted to do was shower.
The grease in my hair feels weird.
I just wanted to feel clean before my friend comes over.
But yet what i needed and wanted to shower
My aunt had to show my brother how to clean the toilet.
Most importantly i needed to shower
My friend will be over anytime soon
So they took their time
And she was having an attitude with me
Can we go back to sending love letters