Here I Go Again

I like older men, this is where I talk about it. Age gap aesthetics - relationship & dating commentary 🌙

[tc-ish]

My problem is that I’m the biggest fucking lover girl on this planet and no mortal man can accept the depth and magnitude of my affections without melting into a pile of goo ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ style.

[imthelostwanderer]

[coffeesforcloser]

Can i tease you while we watch horror movies yes or no

[awkward-sultana]

Religion, Lana del Rey / Here is Your Altar for Worship, Ashe Vernon / Anatomy of a Hookup, Alex Thomas at Words Dance / Old Word Gods, Ashe Vernon / Profane, Ashe Vernon / You Are Jeff, Richard Siken / Great Goddesses: Life Lessons from Myths & Monsters, Nikita Gill

[nooorris-deactivated20260304]

[tc-ish]

More Divorcee dates~

It’s been an insanely stressful few weeks, so he’s been a more than welcome distraction. I felt like our chemistry was getting a little awkward because of how attached I was starting to get, but I just came to a realization that I need to have fun with it or what’s the point?

He’s so open and easy to be with that it isn’t hard to relax around him. I even let him come over to my place (!!), which I NEVER do unless I really trust someone. He was very sweet about my shitty apartment and my dog loved him.🥹 His living situation is complicated for the next few weeks, so he’s probably leaving town for a bit. But he still invited me to his temporary place with a hot tub next week~

[molly-bl00m]

Alex Craig

[nixscriptum]

[tc-ish]

Date with Divorcee went well!

He’s so domestic and has no idea how to just hook up and I love it lol. He baked me homemade chocolate chip cookies 🥹

He’s staying at a friend’s place while they’re out of town and they left him a canvas to paint, so we painted together post hook-up. I ended up spending the night and sleeping in his shirt. It was very cozy and comfortable and fun. He did talk more about how his marriage ended, and how he’s not “available” right now. Which I totally understand. He’s technically still a married man, which he said jokingly at one point. But at the same time he mentioned something to the effect of “whatever this becomes” earlier in the night. So I think he may potentially be open to more? Idk. I’m totally okay with taking it slow right now, so I don’t mind. He’s definitely my kind of weird so even just having him as a friend to do things with would be fun.

[babyydolllyy]

[tc-ish]

Divorcée is back! & we have a date on Friday ☺️I’m excited to see him again and also excited to get this horrible week over and done with.

I’ve also got a date with a new guy on Saturday…It’s more of a hook up, but he sounds fun. We’ll see how it goes.

I’m trying to be flexible and trying to balance myself out with a version of the “5 crush method” or whatever. I have nowhere near the time or patience for 5 men at once. It’s more the principle of it. I tend to go 0 to 100 and all in on one person, and then I get my hopes up & my heart broken. Trying to let things come and go more gently. It’s a process.

[cyberxbattalion]

[saying]

[tc-ish]

Welp. The older guy going through a divorce that I was excited about let me down gently 😔

I get it, he’s really not anywhere near the emotional place for anything right now. But man, with everything else I’m going through right now…this just feels like such a gut punch…

[heartdesiresss]

Lately I just want to disappear into hands that know every part of me

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— sylvia plath (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

[tc-ish]

So, I went on a date yesterday. Totally didn’t want to, almost didn’t go. I’ve just been so jaded about dating, even casually. But I got myself together and went, expecting nothing but a nice dinner. Instead I actually got a very honest, refreshing connection with someone that I really enjoy spending time with??? Wild.

The catch? (Because of course there is) He’s extremely freshly divorced. Like, months. He was nothing but forthcoming about it and was extremely open about everything, but it’s weighing on him. I can’t expect much, I know that. It’s just so hard not to get excited when you meet someone you actually have a connection with 😣

Tonight he texted me letting me know he’s leaving town for a little but explicitly said “I’m not disappearing”, and let me know he wants to see me again. He certainly didn’t owe me that but I do appreciate it. He’s also deleting the app we met on, which I also understand considering his situation. I don’t think he’s ready for the merciless hookup culture of it. It makes me a little selfishly happy though ngl.

I guess I’ll just see where it goes and try with every fiber of my being not to get too excited…