Tea And Madeleines

Random pictures, ranting, mental health, progressing, self-development, books, non-fiction, renewal, student, broke, weight loss

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I took out my adult coloring books for my 4yr old niece and now I see both my parents coloring it

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Earthquake!!

That did not feel good. It felt like the moment just before you barf out the contents of all the alcohol and food you consumed from a night of binge drinking. Just ew.

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My Spanish lesson is personally attacking me.

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This documentary is so good, especially for bibliophiles like me. I’m going to get back into listening to books in my car due to my long commute. The fast reader that was interviewed had good tips like visualize what you are reading. There’s no point in trying to read good literature fast. If you’re a Harry Potter fan, the last thing you would probably want to do is fast read through a Potter book. It’s good to savor books you like. Also I want to go around traveling to nice bookstores.

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It wasn’t even when I turned 30, but about now, more than ever, that I sense my mortality. Before, it was like a vast network of roads and paths lay ahead of me, but that’s been replaced with being in the middle of nowhere. I’m an adult now. And the years won’t stop coming and there’s an end to this. Here’s another existential post.

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This dumb ass went and saw her ex again.

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The day after my birthday, I had my graduation. I officially get my degree this December, but they had us walk this semester.

Equally important is that I bought myself a gift for my birthday. It’s sex toy that uses a suction motion. I squirted the first time in my life ever. If you need me, I’ll be in my room feeling my soul leave my body.

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Boom! My final paper is done! This is another first! Took me just 4 hours to complete

I’m not saying it’s good or even if it makes sense, all I’m saying I got a paper to turn in.

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Today is my birthday and tomorrow is my graduation. After I graduate I plan on either being high or drunk for the rest of May. It’s to make up for lost time.

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Because this is my first life ... I’m going to do a shitty job at it.

That’s okay ... I guess. As long as I try to focus on finding meaning and living my life moment by moment. It’s all I can do.

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Went to a project meeting for my business class this morning. Four of us total in the group. Each and everyone of them was high and kept going back to same topic and reading the same sentences. This is California.

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Japanese Teen Romance Running Scene

I’ve been into Asian dramas lately, but especially Japanese teens romcom movies. Very formulaic and sort of stupid, and I freaking love it. There’s usually a running scene with the main characters.

I remember I had a kinda running scene growing up. We had visited my friend Emma’s college at Pomona and then headed to the Pasadena shopping area. We stopped by the GAP where a Filipino guy working there let me use their private bathroom because he was flirting with Emma.

I proceeded to take a massive shit and left streaks / skid marks that wouldn’t wash out despite multiple flushes. When I left the bathroom, the guy was still flirting with Emma and was joking with me that I better not have stolen something and wanted to check the bathroom just in case.

I freaked the fuck out and grabbed Emma out from the store and we ran down the street, hand in hand, like we stole something. I just didn’t want to explain the skid marks. I’m a romantic like that.

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I set up my study corner. My desk wasn’t doing it for me.

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Apr.06

Therapist advised me to join toastmaster and get more accustomed to superficial interactions with people. I basically have the same friends from elementary to high school. I haven’t much kept in contact with my undergrad friends.

Also to take a vacation after I graduate. I don’t know where to go. I can only think of the Bay Area. Maybe go to NYC.

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3. Reward

I got less than 2 months until I graduate. I fantasize again and again on what I’ll do after this is all over. Reward myself of all the things I wasn’t able to do because of my long commute, school, work, irregular sleep. Have a semblance of normalcy like having a regular sleeping schedule. What a concept.

I’ll do all the self care stuff, get a facial, finally see the dentist again, put makeup on, get back to the gym. Not going to get too crazy. Just 3x a week exercise. Prepare my mom’s salad on schedule, cook veggies, get back on my planner obsession, write again, read my nonfiction, read prose, basic drawing, listen to podcasts and more music, read more articles, Duolingo, clean out my things, save money. I want all these things.

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Ever since he’s been on the news, fucking R. Kelly has been stuck in my head. Mostly Bump and Grind. On repeat.

I watched this cute Japanese romance movie about this young girl who falls in love with her older English teacher. Bump and Grind again.

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2. Beauty

The best are those that are mediocre in appearance, but get better looking when you get to know her/him better.

When I was 19, I met such a woman. She was androgynous looking and I was first unsure her actual gender. A male classmate admitted that he thought she looked odd when he had first met her, but thought later that she was sexy. It probably also had to do with her smokey voice.