Becoming

Reflections of a 20 y/o

[tea-and-marigold]

Friends is such an old show. It hit me while watching the reunion trailer that the actors have grown so old and made me recall that the first season aired in 1994. With the way the pace of the world has changed in the past few decades, 1994 should feel like ages ago, and even so, it doesn't. 

While watching the show and in particular, the bond that 6 friends share, no one can really tell that it's any different from the bond that is shared by friends today. Even though it's a show about fictional characters, isn't fiction also a reflection of reality? Aren't most of fictional stories inspired by real places, real people and real emotions? 

All of this makes you realise that even though the rest of the world has turned upside down in this span of 27 years, one thing that has remained constant is friendship. 

All other relationship dynamics have changed, be it parent - child relationships, romantic relationships, sibling relationships or the relationships we share with n number of aunts and uncles and cousins that we have. Whether the change is good or bad is very subjective to each family and each individual, but the relationship that we share with our closest friends and the ones that our parents shared with their closest friends are not very dissimilar. I see my parents interact with their friends with the same ease and comfort as my sibling and I experience with our friends. 

We have a lot of generation gap, what with the internet allowing integration of the world in all aspects - cultural, ethical, economic and social, and us having so much exposure, possibly too much at times, to understand what our parents' generation was like at the time of their youth and why they think how they think, I still see very striking similarities between both our generations when it comes to communicating with friends. Why do you think that is? 

Why is it that while every other relationship dynamic seems to have changed over the time, it's only the dynamic within a group of friends that seems to be universal, to all cultures, eras and places?

[tea-and-marigold]

Wings of Fire - An Autobiography by APJ Abdul Kalam with Arun Tiwari

APJ Abdul Kalam was an impeccable man, loved and respected by all, and a source of inspiration and pride for every Indian. He was a humble and a compassionate man with devotion for his country and aspiration to fly high in his heart and soul. ‘Wings of Fire’ is a gracefully written account of his life.

“We are all born with a divine fire in us. Our efforts should be to give wings to this fire and fill the world with the glow of its goodness.”

The book gives us an insight into his journey from being the son of a little educated boat owner in Rameshwaram to becoming one of the greatest defence scientists this country has ever seen through sheer determination and hard work. It gives us an understanding of the adversities he faced in his lifetime and how he overcame them.

“God has not promised

Skies always blue,

Flower-strewn pathways

All our life through;

God has not promised

Sun without rain,

Joy without sorrow,

Peace without pain."

Along with being an extraordinarily skillful and imaginative scientist, he was also a leader with a vision. Not only did he accomplish his own goals and give wings to his own ambitions, he also inspired and motivated his colleagues and juniors along the way to realize their true potential and cultivate it to fulfill their purpose.

“Desire, when it stems from the heart and spirit, when it is pure and intense, possesses awesome electromagnetic energy. This energy is released into the ether each night, as the mind falls into the sleep state. Each morning it returns to the conscious state reinforced with the cosmic currents. That which has been imaged will surely and certainly be manifested. You can rely, young man, upon this ageless promise as surely as you can rely upon the eternally unbroken promise of sunrise... and of Spring.”

His life is a testament to the fact that dedication and commitment towards one’s goals can go a long way in achieving them. His ideas and perspective towards life in general have had a profound impact on me and have given me clarity of vision and thought.

“This is my belief: that through difficulties and problems God gives us the opportunity to grow. So when your hopes and dreams and goals are dashed, search among the wreckage, you may find a golden opportunity hidden in the ruins.”

It’s a must read, especially for the youth of our country. Everyone, irrespective of their academic, religious or social background can read and gain inspiration from his life.

“I am a well in this great land

Looking at its millions of boys and girls

To draw from me

The inexhaustible divinity

And spread his grace everywhere

As does water drawn from a well."

[tea-and-marigold]

The Story of my Life - Helen Keller

I remember reading a chapter about Helen Keller in Hindi at some point of my childhood and being deeply inspired by it. Ever since that day, I’ve had the aspiration to read more about her but I never got the chance to do so due to academic commitments. Now that there’s a nationwide lockdown due to the corona virus pandemic, I decided to finally take some time out to read the story of her life.

The book is a treat to read and Helen Keller is certainly one of the most inspiring women I’ve read about. She was born on 27th June 1880 in Alabama.  She lost her eyesight and hearing due to an illness when she was nineteen months old. During her lifetime, she faced numerous challenges and overcame each one of them with courage and determination. She learned to read, write and speak various languages such as English, Latin, German and French and graduated from Cambridge becoming the first deaf-blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree. She went on to author many books and articles on various subjects especially socialism and women’s rights. She fought for the causes she believed in and was unapologetically vocal in her opinions and criticism of things she disapproved of.

The thing about this book that stood out the most for me was the way she described her encounters with various aspects of life and the world such as nature, history, literature and art. Especially in a time like this when we’ve been forced to sit at our homes, reading this book was like a breath of fresh air. She described nature in a way that it felt like I was sitting right there with her, feeling the blades of grass between my fingers and smelling the faint smell of lilies and roses and that of the earth after a heavy shower. It is a beautiful and inspiring account of her life until college, consisting of all the hardships she faced, how she overcame them, and stories of beauty, love and companionship.

Below are some of my favourite lines from the book:

#1 Keller’s teacher Anne Sullivan explains to her the meaning of love

“Love is something like the clouds that were in the sky before the sun came out. You cannot touch the clouds, you know; but you feel the rain and know how glad the flowers and the thirsty earth are to have it after a hot day. You cannot touch love either: but you feel the sweetness that it puts into everything.”

#2

“It seems to me that there is in each of us a capacity to comprehend the impressions and emotions which have been experienced by mankind from the beginning. Each individual has a subconscious memory of the green earth and murmuring waters, and blindness and deafness cannot rob him of this gift from past generations. This inherited capacity is a sort of sixth sense- a soul sense which sees, hears, and feels, all in one.”

#3

“Sometimes, it is true, a sense of isolation enfolds me like a cold mist as I sit alone and wait at life’s shut gate. Beyond there is light, and music, and sweet companionship; but I may not enter. Fate, silent, pitiless, bars the way. Fain would I question his imperious decree, for my heart is still undisciplined and passionate; but my tongue will not utter the bitter, futile words that rise to my lips, and they fall back into my heart like unshed tears. Silence sits immense upon my soul. Then comes hope with a smile and whispers, 'there is joy in self forgetfulness.' So I try to make the light in others’ eyes my sun, the music in others’ ears my symphony, the smile on others’ lips my happiness.”

#4 Helen Keller talks about the importance of friends and the beauty of companionship.

“Those are red-letter days in our lives when we meet people who thrill us like a fine poem, people whose handshake is a brimful of unspoken sympathy, and whose sweet, rich natures impart to our eager, impatient spirits a wonderful restfulness which, in its essence, is divine. The perplexities, irritations and worries that have absorbed us pass like unpleasant dreams, and we wake to see with new eyes and hear with new ears the beauty and harmony of god’s real world. The solemn nothings that fill our everyday life blossom suddenly into bright possibilities. In a word, while such friends are near us we feel that all is well. Perhaps we never saw them before, and they may never cross our life’s path again; but the influence of their calm, mellow natures is a libation poured upon our discontent, and we feel its healing touch, as the ocean feels the mountain stream freshening its brine.”

I don’t have much else to say except that I hope you read this book, enjoy it and get inspired by it as much as I did.

[tea-and-marigold]

The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

I'm so glad Khaled Hosseini exists.

I have always admired his ability to touch souls with his words. I read his book 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' a few years ago and if there's one thing I can tell you about his books, it is that they leave you heartbroken.

The Kite Runner is an emotional roller coaster, not suited for the faint hearted. It'll make you cry (a lot) and it'll make you smile. It'll tear you apart and build you again.

"What happens in a few days, sometimes even a single day, can change the course of a whole lifetime."

It takes you on a journey through the narrow lanes of Kabul with two kids, Amir and Hassan and allows you to explore their story with them, sitting in the shade of pomegranate trees and flying kites together.

Never have I encountered such a morally ambiguous protagonist who you loathe at first but eventually come to understand as being human.

"I opened my mouth, almost said something. Almost. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I had. But I didn't."

It reminds us that we're all human and that mistakes are made but it is up to us to let ourselves be defined by them or to take charge and correct them, to try and be good again.

It reminds us of the beauty and innocence of childhood and the harsh realities of life.

"I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded; not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night."

It's a story of friendship, failure and forgiveness and it's beautiful in every sense of the word.

"I ran with the wind blowing in my face, and a smile as wide as the valley of Panjsher on my lips. I ran."

Khaled Hosseini - for you, a thousand times over.

[tea-and-marigold]

Udaipur ‘19

Recently, I got back from a trip to Udaipur and Mount Abu with college friends. My head is overflowing with stories to share and all my heart wants to do right now is go back. Nothing I do or say will justify what I'm feeling right now.

Talking about Udaipur, everyone must visit it at least once in their lives. The amount of history and beauty that lives in the city is something everyone should experience. It is a very simple city with a richness in its culture. The weather was hot but when you're in a mood to explore and learn, nothing can stop you, not even the scorching heat.

It was a 3 day trip with 81 girls, 6 teachers and 3 instructors, and all of them ready to have the time of their lives on an unforgettable trip.

On the first day, after going through a very tiring overnight journey by bus, we reached Udaipur at around noon. After settling in our hotel rooms and having lunch, we headed off to Fateh Sagar Lake, a serene body of water where one can have the most beautiful boating experience of their lives. When our group of 65 girls went for boating, we hired a Rajasthani folk musician who was with us during the whole time and mesmerized us with his melodies on the Ravanahatha. It looked like a scene right out of the 2004 movie ‘Swades’, with us admiring the setting sun and the reflection of it in the water with slow music in the background. It felt unreal. It felt like the time had stopped. It felt like I could spend hours in that boat, just feeling the wind in my face, looking at water creating different patterns. That one experience is something I will never forget. After boating we sat near the lake for a while, having kulfis and shikanji while admiring the view. The day ended with us feeling tired but peaceful and with our hearts filled with excitement for the days to come.

Next day, we got up early and got ready since we were supposed to head to Mount Abu. The journey was beautiful, with hills on both sides. On reaching Mount Abu, we visited the Dilwara Jain Temple, which was beautiful in the purest sense. After the temple, we headed towards Nakki lake, where we hung around for a bit and had lunch.

An hour before the time of sunset, we started our trek towards Toad rock. The trek was quite short, 20 minutes maximum, after which we reached the rock from where we witnessed the beautiful scenery and the magnificence of the setting sun. We took a few pictures and then sat down to appreciate the view for a while. It was beautiful. We spent the rest of the day near Nakki lake and afterwards, boarded our buses and made our way back to the hotel.

The third and the final day was the most adventurous. We explored the streets of Udaipur, me and two friends of mine, with Google maps navigating our way. The first place we visited was the City Palace, a huge, huge palace with the most beautiful architecture and a lot of history embedded, which took up considerable amount of our time. We clicked a lot of pictures and explored a lot. It was an extremely immersive experience, and we left the palace in complete awe.

After the city palace, we headed towards ropeway which took us to Mansapurna Karni Mata Temple. The view from the temple was to die for. We could see the whole city from up there, from its lakes to the city palace to the tiny houses and it was breathtakingly beautiful! After admiring the view for a while and clicking some pictures, we headed back to our hotel. At around 8, we started our return journey to Delhi.

If you know me, you know how much I love traveling and especially road trips. The thing about road trips is, you can plug in your music and look at the view and all of your worries just go away for a while. Even though the journey was long and tiring, it gave me time to think about myself and my life and how I should be eternally grateful for what I have. It gave me time to think about how to be a better version of myself and taught me a lot of things. One of the things this trip taught me was to appreciate the little things in life. In our busy lives, we often forget the value of nature and culture, two things that make life actually worth living. Being surrounded by these two aspects of life and nothing else, I realized how little importance we give to actually 'living the moment' and not trying to capture it into a picture or a video. It taught me how to appreciate beauty. It taught me patience and helped me understand the value of silence as well as that of companionship.

During this whole trip, I had two friends of mine, Nikita and Radhika, by my side without whom the trip wouldn't have been as fun as it was. The fourth pillar of our tiny little group, Liza, fell sick right before the trip, which is why we were forced to feel the void of her absence while in Udaipur. All three of us were torn between concern for our friend our and the excitement for the first college trip of our lives. How could we have fun when the one friend who was most enthusiastic about the trip, was at home sick and in pain? Our going could not be cancelled because all the formalities had already been carried out but thanks to technology, we were able to remain fully connected with Liza throughout the trip. We video called her all the time and shared every little inside joke, everything that happened on the trip with her. Our trip was filled with emotions, having those deep conversations late at night as well as making each other roll on the floor laughing. We made each other angry, but also cracked ridiculous jokes to cheer each other up. In these three days, we created a very strong bond and I realized the value of these three girls and how grateful I am to have them.

This trip was a beautiful experience, the memories of which will be cherished for as long as I live. Even now as I'm writing this blog post while sitting at home, it feels like a part of me is still in Udaipur and it'll never come back. That place and these three people will forever have a special place in my heart.

[all pictures in this post have been clicked by me]