Tea-Toot

Yaoi hater

[tea-toot]

[boot-tea]

heh you cant laser me lmao

but i can laser you

my laser is covered in pretty multicolored plastic rhinestones and only takes five minutes to charge

I’ll eat the laser.

[tea-toot]

More documentation of Boot Tea’s depravity.

[boot-tea]

Says the war criminal

[tea-toot]

The consumption of enemy troops on the battle field should not be considered a war crime. I was wrongly convicted

[boot-tea]

heh you like booty (get it? boot tea? booty?) (ok im sorry :[ )

shoots you with my super awesome laser cannon

[da-lil-muffin]

Um boss sorry to trouble you, but um the laser... the aaaaaah yes the super awesome one, it take like 20 minutes to charge up, and also it trips a breaker if the baptismal soup warmer is also plugged in.

[boot-tea]

FUCK

[tea-toot]

The baptism what now

[boot-tea]

yk I should have known the autism test would come up positive when they asked me to list as many animals as I could and I just started listing varieties of sharks

[iamramonadestroyerofworlds]

I arranged all the toys by size and category in the waiting room while they interviewed my parents

[boot-tea]

God that sounds so fun can someone pay me to do that

[tea-toot]

No. However, you can get paid to organize towels at a retail store if you so wish.

[boot-tea]

heh you cant laser me lmao

but i can laser you

my laser is covered in pretty multicolored plastic rhinestones and only takes five minutes to charge

I’ll eat the laser.

[tea-toot]

More documentation of Boot Tea’s depravity.

[tea-toot]

who want some grilled cheese

[tea-toot]

Everyone goes to hell says I the hateful creation

[tea-toot]

My new goal is to jail @boot-tea and @teaboot for being gay

[boot-tea]

I’ll hit you with my cane

[tea-toot]

Stop fucking liking this post it’s been almost a year and suddenly i’ve been getting at least one notification every day about it I don’t even remember making the og post

[tea-toot]

Stop

[tea-toot]

My new goal is to jail @boot-tea and @teaboot for being gay

[boot-tea]

I’ll hit you with my cane

[tea-toot]

Stop fucking liking this post it’s been almost a year and suddenly i’ve been getting at least one notification every day about it I don’t even remember making the og post

[tea-toot]

My new goal is to jail @boot-tea and @teaboot for being gay

[ravioli-approving]

you spiral and leave for TWO MONTHS.

[tea-toot]

Touch

[tea-toot]

I love yuri

[tea-toot]

My new goal is to jail @boot-tea and @teaboot for being gay

[boot-tea]

I’ll hit you with my cane

[tea-toot]

cover it in stickers first

[tea-toot]

My new goal is to jail @boot-tea and @teaboot for being gay

[boot-tea]

Uni is so fucking funny because wdym I met and became friends with someone in real life whose eyes dawned with horrified recognition when I mentioned I had a tumblr blog called boot-tea

[tea-toot]

what the fuck why did you not inform us immediately

[teaboot]

If you were tasked with assembling a team of 3 ghosts to reform a Rich Person of your choice, who would you pick?

I know you mean “reforming” like “changing their ways” but I like “reforming” as in “wood chipper” so I’m choosing 3 Genghis Khans and a rail gun

[tea-toot]

genghis khan x joe biden smut

[teaboot]

I don’t believe tsw*ft is a revolutionary or even interesting artist but she *is* the only artist who has her own folder on my phone dedicated to lyrics that make me incandescent with rage so from a perverse conceptual perspective I guess something is working

[teaboot]

Misophonia queen

[teaboot]

continued

[boot-tea]

Shit do I have to become a Taylor swift fan to counter this

[tea-toot]

no just find something he likes to equally hate as much as he hates taylor stig

[dream-boot]

Why are you helping him, child?.. Don't you despise Boot Tea? I do as well, but...

[tea-toot]

don’t blow my cover i’m feeding him false information

[teaboot]

I don’t believe tsw*ft is a revolutionary or even interesting artist but she *is* the only artist who has her own folder on my phone dedicated to lyrics that make me incandescent with rage so from a perverse conceptual perspective I guess something is working

[teaboot]

Misophonia queen

[teaboot]

continued

[tea-toot]

once for a therapy exercise i had to rewrite a taylor swift song so i wrote sometimes i feel like everyone is a hetero baby and im a homo on a hill