I’m A Mess

You can call me Rin! I’m queer, chronically ill, and very tired. Attempting to learn, write, draw, and generally be creative, and mostly procrastinating via tunglr.hell

[thefairytaler]

My wife pointed out to me the other day that apparently most people were literally only taught how to say Sorry and not how to Apologize or even that they are different things so here.

If all you ever do is step 1, not only did you not apologize, but people will rightfully stop believing you and start getting pissed or hurt.

[psychicbouquetblaze-stuff]

If someone is always responsible for telling you what to do when that is not their responsibility, do not ask them what to do istfg

[thefairytaler]

May I ask for clarification?

[psychicbouquetblaze-stuff]

Hi, sure. Mostly this is targeted at cismen/ciswomen partnerships because those are the most examples I know, but really it could be anyone. When someone tells you to wash the dishes once and you forget, yes you apologise and move on. But when someone has to ask you to wash the dishes, take out the trash, do the laundry, pick up the kids, buy a specific thing,... repeatedly, and you apologies for messing up, it's really unfair to then go: okay, tell me what to do. Like you should already know and you should just do it, without putting more burden on that person.

[thefairytaler]

This is an image from a kid’s novelist who makes things for young children. It’s a very basic step by step guide used to work people, especially young children, through learning a fundamental life skill.

You’ve projected extra meaning on this image and situation that doesn’t exist within it. ‘What can I do to start fixing this’ is a way to make sure the other person knows that not only are you committed to long term change but that you are actively ready to take into account their current needs without projecting on them. And it is also an optional step that may or may not be necessary depending on situational context. Some people also want solutions and some just want comfort and asking which is actually appropriate communication if you’re unsure.

A lot of people are somehow reading a lot into this image that simply isn’t there, and honestly it’s becoming really frustrating that this website cannot even handle a literal young children’s guide to learning how to apologize without trying to make it problematic or otherwise inject meaning that isn’t there.

Learning how to apologize is important and many people don’t know how to do it. And people need to be willing to learn how to do so without stretching to find ways to paint apologizing as problematic. Things like the social inter politics of relationships and weaponized incompetence are a little outside of the scope of ‘teaching baby to apologize’.

I have been absolutely in the trenches with this post. But it’s really not as deep as people are desperately making it and I find all the pushback it’s getting just from it existing and saying ‘saying sorry proper is the nice thing to do’ when that message is so basic it could be on Bluey or Barney really really worrying for the future of people on this site’s ability to socialize.

[rlyehtaxidermist]

"Mario Mario" is an anachronism. He and his brother were only ever referred to by mononyms in their lifetime, like most residents of the Mushroom Kingdom at the time - multi-part names were typically reserved for members of the Toadstool dynasty, and even these were more like titles or Roman cognomina than what we would call a surname today. His putative ennoblement as founder of the "House of Mario" came centuries later as the collapsing feudal order sought additional sources of legitimacy

[prokopetz]

#mushroom kingdom folklore says that he sleeps beneath a warp pipe to arise in the time of the kingdom's greatest need #he's definitely shown up a few times but it's hard to tell if he has risen from the dead or is just in the middle of some time travel shit #historians hate him.

[rlyehtaxidermist]

While the historical evidence for Mario having a younger brother is quite concrete, the name of said brother is less certain. "Luigi" is generally held to originate with a separate figure from a series of chthonic myths, who originally served as a sort of psychopomp charged with capturing spirits that escaped the underworld. The strongest case for a contemporary figure named Luigi comes from the Waffle Kingdom sagas; however, this Luigi's brother is a gladiator named Gonzales.

[rlyehtaxidermist]

now I know that there's no way for me to respond to this without a bunch of fans of the modern adaptations ruining my inbox for the next week, but there's no evidence of Waluigi - or indeed Luigi - in any of the contemporary versions of the Mario-Wario sagas. The name "Wario" itself is a later invention, held to be a pun on warui that likely emerged after the adoption of Japanese scripts in the Koopa States.

The conflict between Mario and his "boyhood rival" was one over political influence on his home island and Mario's long absences - in particular his trip to Sarasaland. While later Sarasan sources would heavily reference Mario's brother, he is absent from both the preceding narrative and the unrest in Mario's homeland. The historical consensus is that the Sarasaland journey was one of Mario's earliest wanderings, with his brother attempting to manage affairs in his absence and proving unfit. The invention of a separate "Wario" character and its development into an explicit coup d'etat were later poetic creations, as is distancing of the "Wario" figure from the later depictions of Mario's brother as the more cowardly and reserved "Luigi".

(As an aside: "Mario Land" is a mistranslation. The original Mushroomer and Sarasan chronicles are better translated as "the land of Mario", without connotations of ownership. The modern scholastic consensus is that it refers to Yoshi's Island, where Mario and his brother spent their youth and later established a small manor, not, as commonly depicted, a "Mario Castle". The emphasis on Mario as king of "Mario Land" was a mostly successful political maneuver by the Yoshis to retain coequal status with the Mushroom Kingdom heartlands in the face of 18th-century expansionist pan-Mushroomism.)

The later emergence of "Waluigi" is an ironic recombination of two figures from the same historical source, and may have originated as a farce parodying the Mario stories. (The name "Waluigi" is also conflated with the early Norman figure Varr Yngwi, who is generally credited with the invention of tennis.)

[ortut]

Julian Hooper 1. Introduction, 2016 2. Inevitable conclusion, 2016 (Acrylic on linen)

[certified-door-posts]

certified door post

[maja-paja]

I dont like how "reclaim" has turned into "can use against others in the exact same way it always has been and equally offensively"

[glorious-spoon]

spent forty-five minutes today helping an 87yo woman who does not own a computer or a cell phone try to set up an email account so that she could then set up a second account in order to access benefits. went with protonmail, because they don't require 2fa, but it turns out that while you can still make a protonmail account without authentication you can no longer use it to create OTHER accounts without it, and the benefits page she needed to get to required both an email and a cell phone to create an account anyway. asked if she wanted to try going in person to see if someone there could help her, and she said that she had, and they'd directed her to the website. she tried signing up with her landline, but of course that didn't work because you can't do SMS authentication that way. finally ended up writing up detailed instructions for how to log in and authenticate her account so she can drive to her severely disabled daughter's house forty minutes away because that's the only person she knows and trusts who has both a cell phone and a computer.

anyway i fucking hate mandatory 2fa and i think the people responsible for it should have to spend a year navigating their lives with no cell phone and no internet access beyond the public library pcs. fuck.

[fuckthisshit-ugh]

please read this even if you're not indian. especially if you're not indian.

you've seen the jokes. india is "dirty", indians are "everywhere", why don't they fix their own country. ok. let me tell you why, and what's happening right now while nobody's watching.

first, the history you skipped: britain ruled india for two centuries and drained it. economist utsa patnaik's research estimates around $45 trillion in today's money was taken. the india that got independence in 1947 was one of the poorest countries on earth. every "why is india like this" question starts there. you don't get to profit off a robbery and then mock the crime scene.

now, what's happening RIGHT NOW:

in may the question paper for NEET leaked. that's the national medical entrance exam. over 2.2 million students took it. cancelled. years of studying, families' savings poured into coaching, gone overnight because someone sold the paper. students died by suicide after. these were kids who wanted to be doctors.

and out of that came a protest movement. a gen z group called the cockroach janta party, started by a 30 year old named abhijeet dipke, got 22 million instagram followers within DAYS. they've been doing a sit-in at jantar mantar in delhi demanding education minister dharmendra pradhan resign.

and then there's sonam wangchuk. if you've watched 3 idiots, he's the real engineer the character was based on. built solar schools in ladakh. invented ice stupas so himalayan villages have water. spent his whole life on education. he's 59 and he's been on hunger strike for 17+ days now. reporters went to see him this week and he was too weak to talk. and the troll armies are calling him "anti national" and "foreign funded". a man starving himself for other people's children. that's the thing here, anyone who asks a question is suddenly a traitor.

it's not one incident, it's everywhere you look:

• infrastructure worth thousands of crores failing within months of the ribbon cutting. tunnels collapsing in regions where heavy rain is a guarantee, not a surprise.

• youth unemployment near 10% for ages 15 to 29, 13.6% in cities. in a country of 1.42 billion where more than half the population is young.

• only about the top 3% of indians earn above 10 lakh a year. meanwhile billionaire wealth keeps ballooning and the headlines celebrate it.

• manipur burned for over two years. an ethnic conflict, tens of thousands displaced, and the prime minister barely said the word manipur while it happened.

• journalists raided. critics' houses bulldozed. activists sitting in jail for years without trial under laws like UAPA. our press freedom ranking has cratered.

• even the petrol is a fight now, ethanol blending pushed through while drivers complain about their engines and get no straight answers.

and through all of it, the PM, who came to power on religious polarisation (americans, sound familiar?), travels abroad for photo ops and has not held one single open press conference in over a decade. not one.

what i'm asking:

if you're not indian: share this. our media mostly won't cover any of it because the big outlets are owned by the same billionaires the government serves. the only reason wangchuk's fast is getting any coverage is people refusing to look away.

if you ARE indian: speak up even if you're comfortable. especially if you're comfortable. join the protests. add to this, correct me, translate it. staying quiet is a choice when nothing in this post touches your life.

india is not "dirty". india was robbed, and it's being robbed again, from the inside this time. but it's also the country where a 59 year old will starve for strangers' kids and 22 million young people will rally behind a party literally named after cockroaches, because cockroaches survive everything.

we can still save her. but only loudly.

reblog. share. don't scroll past.

[roczath]

India’s youth-led Cockroach movement vows to keep demanding reforms after police crackdown

Supporters of India’s youth-led Cockroach movement demanding educational reforms and government accountability say they will continue their

AP News coverage as of July 21.

[elaienar]

Explained: How India's biggest medical entrance exam descended into crisis

An alleged paper leak, an unprecedented nationwide retest and mounting political pressure have thrust NEET, India's medical entrance examina

NEET-UG: India students resit intense medical exam after paper leak allegations

Millions of candidates face biometric checks and frisking as air force deployed to secure exam papers.

‘Come back, my son’: Indian exam leak leaves trail of death, despair, anger

More than two million aspiring doctors took India’s NEET examination. However, the test was compromised and cancelled.

Here's some reporting on the NEET.

[molabuddy]

recently when im tempted to say 'i'm gonna kill myself' i try to correct it into saying "im gonna walk into the river and become a trout" or some other form of that. this is my new thing

[molabuddy]

btw this has graduated into me just saying "the trout population will be affected" and then not elaborating

[other-orchid]

this post has genuinely helped me so i used it as inspiration for today’s hand lettering practice

[woman-becomer]

imagine a goat with a hat

STOP-

what hat did you give the goat what is the instinctual hat you gave to this goat

[byjove]

I think about The Man of the Hole so often. 27 years alone. 27 years with no one to speak to but strangers to wave to. Survived a genocide, a massacre that killed everyone he had ever known and later, an assassination attempt. He still tried to warn researches about the traps he built. He was only about 60 when he died in 2022. The people who tormented him in life later desecrated his grave.

[byjove]

I do think it is important to share the stories of the Lone Woman of San Nicolas Island and Ishi and the countless other indigenous people who experienced the profound trauma of being the last survivor but it is important to remember that the last Aboriginal families in Australia to be contacted by Europeans were resettled in the 1980s and the Indian government has proposed a plan that will mean total genocide for the Shompen people. The total eradication of indigenous peoples, their cultures, their languages, their ways of life, is not something which occurred in a distant ugly past but an ongoing progress.

[prokopetz]

The problem with trying to fix The X-Files is that its writing and characterisation are so wildly uneven even from episode to episode within a given season that most of the time your "improved" version will just end up being an accurate description of a specific episode of The X-Files.

[prokopetz]

(And, critically, because there exists one specific episode which more or less accidentally answers to the description of the imaginary show you're proposing, certain fans will insist the entire series ought to be given credit for being like that and you're just looking for excuses to complain.)

[bigscaryd]

Very importantly, this works in both directions. Both your improved version and the most unfair caricature of the show you could possibly concoct exist as actually-aired episodes.

[omegaversereloaded]

ilove when someone posts about an issue that's supposedly plaguing society and it's painfully obvious that said issue is not a thing that matters if youre not on tiktok

[nianeyna]

reminds me of this reddit comment I have saved

[dimetrodone]

What is this thing

[dimetrodone]

Investigation on his nature

[thethirdromana]

Putting the term "Catholic guilt" on a high shelf where fandom can't reach it until everyone learns how to identify characters who are very very clearly coded as Protestant.

[redstonedust]

phenomenom thats been bothering me that i could only express via an mspaint reverse boomer comic

[lastoneout]

"I am not a vessel for your good intent" goes hard as a line from a disabled perspective. Abled people care so much more about being their idea of a good ally than they do actually being a good ally. They shove their good intent right down your throat and then act surprised when you tell them they're suffocating you.

[lastoneout]

[faggotvampires]

[ID: An image of a sign with a blue background and with a graphic of a stick figure in a wheelchair at the beginning, resembling disabled parking space signs. The text below the stick figure reads "I am not a vessel for your good intent." /ID]

[foxglovedforest]

[literallymechanical]

I've been too busy to Post lately. I've got like twelve half-sentence drafts and I can feel my posting organ starting to wither. It's real rough.

[literallymechanical]

Check out this huge door, we all love huge doors right??

[cipheramnesia]