Imagine a “The Chosen” modern AU where Jesus & the Dudeciples all watch The Prince of Egypt
Hardly a word is said during “Deliver Us,” except when everyone cheers at the first appearance of Miriam and baby Moses
During the chariot scene, Simon Peter, Andrew, Big James, and John get into a debate over who would win in a chariot race. Everyone else tells them to stop.
Matthew, Nathaniel, and Thomas silently panic over the destruction of the temple, thinking of the property damage and also the people who probably died. Thaddeus wonders how much time and labor it took to build it.
Simon Z applauds during the same scene
Mary Magdalene, when Tzipporah tries to bite Rameses: “Oh I would do that.” Ramah: “Hard same.”
Tzipporah’s eyes remind Thomas of Ramah’s eyes. He keeps thinking about it for the rest of the movie.
“All I Ever Wanted” hits Matthew a little too close to home
Everyone, no matter how well they know the story, gasps when Moses kills the Egyptian guard. Except Simon Z, who applauds.
Andrew: “Simon, if I murdered someone, would you cover it up?” Jesus: *stares at Simon P* Simon P: “We’ll talk about it later.” Andrew: “I didn’t actually kill anyone!”
Philip, when “Through Heaven’s Eyes” starts: “Rabbi, it’s your theme song!” Jesus: “Yeah it is!”
No one can sit still during “Through Heaven’s Eyes”
Everyone tears up during the Burning Bush scene, especially Jesus for slightly different reasons
Simon Z during the Return to Egypt montage: “GO GET EM MOSES”
Jesus during “Playing With the Big Boys”: “That is too many gods. Put them back.”
Simon P during the Nile turning to blood scene: “Oh, sure, the red water in the bowl is EXACTLY like blood. Are you kidding me??”
Hardly anyone breathes during the Angel of Death scene
Everyone sings during the “When You Believe” chorus but urges Young James to sing the Ashira l’adonai bridge by himself
Thomas @ Rameses: “Why are you going into the sea??”
Simon Z @ Rameses: “DO IT DO IT DO IT”
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