You have acquired quite the attention at episode 11. That appearance (I think) excited the people who have read manga. At least, you have been animated!
But what I’m going to tell on you about isn’t that scene or even the anime. This is about the manga. The manga.
You have acquired a great fold of followers. They like you. The catch? You have also acquired about five folds of haters. They have been all over you. They have been seeing through you.
The time when you cheered Futaba-san with your thumb game? That was nothing. The time when you told her she is appreciated; that she is changing and everytime she did and didn’t, you said you liked her? You have accepted her. Though you weren’t blind to see her heart is missing. Though you know it’s still in Kou’s hands. Though you knew that you are venturing on a tormenting love: a love about loving the person you love but not getting what you deserved. All this gentle, gentle love you have brushed her heart with, they were all nothing to those people who failed to see them.
I am sorry on their part. They have been misled. Led by their pity on the person who couldn’t even choose Futaba-san. A person who had hurt her severely; the one who inflicted her that wound you have tried to heal. And now it’s a scar. They are in favor of the love of a man who hadn’t been true to himself. The man who hid it all and gave her false hope that she’d be loved by him. He, who gave her that push on the cliff. He, who was her gravity, pulling her down. People chose him than you, who had been Futaba’s resistance. You, who had held her close, who made her not break into a ball of depression. You, who appreciated her. Who made her feel wanted.
I am sorry. I am sorry that soon you will be broken. I am sorry that your love song will be a break-up one soon. I am sorry that people fail to appreciate you. How would it really turn out, when that night when Kou pushed away Futaba for Narumi, if you weren’t there? She would’ve been unable to walk. She would have been so broken, she cannot face the world. The night of your confession when you asked her about the stars she didn’t notice, would she see the world in a new perspective if it weren’t for you?
I know they are annoyed because you are too good to be true. And they can’t accept that you are Futaba-san’s boyfriend. That it is unethical to make a move on a girl that is in a relationship. And they see you as a sly fox when indeed you never steal from anyone since Futaba isn’t Kou’s that time. And they say you are selfish; egocentric. And I say, I still love you.
And I find you beautiful. I find you as a gift to Futaba. And a contrast to Kou. Your bravery on love cannot be met by him. For you knew, in that moment, that everything could last. That everything had ends and beginnings. But this is your one truth: you have showed the girl you love that you love her and appreciate her even though she’s still in love with someone else. I call that selfless—tormenting yourself just to be with her.
Kikuchi Touma-kun, I love you. That won’t change.
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