she places the bowl onto the counter, assumes her position on the floor again with bitna in her hands. she doesnât have pets of her own, finding the time she had available was barely enough to even look after herself. having access to a ball of fluff like bitna was an opportunity she wasnât going to give up on easily, was going to let every second sink in. free time, scarce on schedule, it made everything all the more difficult to handle especially with her dwindling health. doesnât help that she pushes herself a little too much when asked to fulfil duties outside of her scope, but she supposes it comes with the territory.Â
   her gaze lifts to meet with his again as he spoke, âif i wanted to ask you out, iâd ask you out ugly.â rolling her eyes as she spoke, but she couldnât help the chuckle that accompanied her syllables, having not meant any malice behind her words. her attention quickly moves to the way he so gracefully allows the packs of ramen to slip to the floor, couldnât help the way her chuckle grew to a genuine laugh as she stumbled to get up from the floor to help him. âiâll stop laughing when you stop being ridiculous.â picking up the fallen ramen as she moves to the sink to wash her hands a second time. âdo the sensible thing and use scissors.â glancing over at him, before allowing her arms to wrap around his waist from behindâ taking the opportunity to dry her hands on the fabric of his shirt before releasing him. she takes a peek at his progress, âplease donât tell me youâre going to eat the dirty ramen.â
it takes a while for him to register her words, the overwhelming pot of self-pity cultured by years of brooding over the reason why she left making him reflexively doubt his own ears. itâs the truth, the part of him thatâs hopeful zooms in on the first half of the sentence--believe in the fact that she wants to ask you out. it sits like a hopeful angel upon his shoulder, even as he stares at her and drowns in the simplicity of her actions--how beautiful she seems, seated upon the floor, eyes lifted and hair falling slightly over her shoulders, the white ball of fluff that was once supposed to be theirs frolicking happily in her arms.Â
âiâm not that ridiculous.â he mumbles, shaking his hair slightly, allowing his fringe to fall right over his eyes as he avoided her stare, stiffening as she drew close, hands wrapping round his middle, wetting his shirt with her wet hands.Â
he stares almost incredulously at her, both unable to comprehend her affection and the ease of it that shouldnât have been the case, especially in the narrative of his own reality.Â
âuh...â clearly, he was equally as stupid as years before, when his crush on her was still fresh as hell, and just being around her could reduce him into spewing plain stupidity out of his mouth, even though he played it off better back then as arrogance. âthereâs the five second rule.â he blinks at her, grabbing the ramen back from her hands. âbesides--â a slight huff formed in a pout upon his lips. âthe hot water kills all the germs, right? itâs not as if i cooked it and then dropped it on the floor and decided to grandly munch on it for lunch. itâll be fine. iâll have this ruined packet, and open a new one for you.âÂ
itâs genuinely rare for them to communicate like this, he thinks to himself, taking the packet of ramen from her hands and slipping it into the pot of boiling water, crushing the empty packets between his hands and throwing it into the dustbin.Â
he used to be--no, he was always angry around her, even more so, now in the present.Â
âwhat are we doing, haeni?â the chopsticks poke the cooking noodles, his head tilted slightly and eyes fixed upon the boiling food before him, lips pursed and the ache in his heart returning quickly as he avoided her stare. âremind me again, what exactly are we doing here, in this place, acting like lovers or friends when weâre supposed to be friends?â Â
he hated the word when it came to her, teeth biting down upon his lower lips, the swivel of his hands stirring the boiling ramen therapeutic, as he afforded himself the distraction, choosing not to confront her or look her in the eyes. he couldnât.Â
after all, he wouldnât know what exactly to say if their eyes met.Â
i love you? i missed you?Â
i donât care that you left back then? he didnât even have the right to do something like that. they were nothing to each other but friends back then after all.Â
âso why didnât you ask me out back then?â the words echo sorely between them, filled of memories of watching her fall into the arms of an older man and return, with her bright, and his heart and sense of inferiority crushed below. âi was available. and i doubt that i was ugly in your eyes.â he leaned back against the counter, dropping in the new packet of ramen and crossing his arms, focusing his eyes upon the furball that now clambered up onto haeniâs shoulders. âi mean, you didnât even flinch when i ruined my looks with that half and half dyed hair. so clearly, you donât think iâm that ugly.âÂ
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