Alfred Pennyworth

hey mr. pennyworth i'm coming over to gotham to visit jason and i hurt my shoulder....... do you have any leftover cookies?

(@roy-ally-fucked)

Dear Roy Harper,

Do you need medical attention? As well as fresh cookies I can give you an examination.

Alfred Pennyworth.

HELL YES COOKIES

i mean uh. no i'm all good i already patched myself up. but thanks. and i'm very excited for the cookies.

Dear Roy,

You and Jason have fun, it is pride month after all. Be proud. Alfred Pennyworth.

does EVERYONE know?????

Dear Roy. Anyone who is perceptive can see it. You are lucky most aren't. Alfred Pennyworth.

okay okay just. level with me here. does bruce know?

Dear roy,

He does not, he has a blindspot for his children. Alfred Pennyworth.

oh thank fuck.

Dear Roy,

I do not adhere to the no kill rule. If you are worried about the shovel talk. I am the only one who would. Alfred Pennyworth.

that...... is good to know. i'll do my best not to give you a reason to kill me 🙏

Dear Roy,

I trust that. Alfred Pennyworth.

hey mr. pennyworth i'm coming over to gotham to visit jason and i hurt my shoulder....... do you have any leftover cookies?

(@roy-ally-fucked)

Dear Roy Harper,

Do you need medical attention? As well as fresh cookies I can give you an examination.

Alfred Pennyworth.

HELL YES COOKIES

i mean uh. no i'm all good i already patched myself up. but thanks. and i'm very excited for the cookies.

Dear Roy,

You and Jason have fun, it is pride month after all. Be proud. Alfred Pennyworth.

does EVERYONE know?????

Dear Roy. Anyone who is perceptive can see it. You are lucky most aren't. Alfred Pennyworth.

okay okay just. level with me here. does bruce know?

Dear roy,

He does not, he has a blindspot for his children. Alfred Pennyworth.

oh thank fuck.

Dear Roy,

I do not adhere to the no kill rule. If you are worried about the shovel talk. I am the only one who would. Alfred Pennyworth.

hey mr. pennyworth i'm coming over to gotham to visit jason and i hurt my shoulder....... do you have any leftover cookies?

(@roy-ally-fucked)

Dear Roy Harper,

Do you need medical attention? As well as fresh cookies I can give you an examination.

Alfred Pennyworth.

HELL YES COOKIES

i mean uh. no i'm all good i already patched myself up. but thanks. and i'm very excited for the cookies.

Dear Roy,

You and Jason have fun, it is pride month after all. Be proud. Alfred Pennyworth.

does EVERYONE know?????

Dear Roy. Anyone who is perceptive can see it. You are lucky most aren't. Alfred Pennyworth.

okay okay just. level with me here. does bruce know?

Dear roy,

He does not, he has a blindspot for his children. Alfred Pennyworth.

hey mr. pennyworth i'm coming over to gotham to visit jason and i hurt my shoulder....... do you have any leftover cookies?

(@roy-ally-fucked)

Dear Roy Harper,

Do you need medical attention? As well as fresh cookies I can give you an examination.

Alfred Pennyworth.

HELL YES COOKIES

i mean uh. no i'm all good i already patched myself up. but thanks. and i'm very excited for the cookies.

Dear Roy,

You and Jason have fun, it is pride month after all. Be proud. Alfred Pennyworth.

does EVERYONE know?????

Dear Roy. Anyone who is perceptive can see it. You are lucky most aren't. Alfred Pennyworth.

hey mr. pennyworth i'm coming over to gotham to visit jason and i hurt my shoulder....... do you have any leftover cookies?

(@roy-ally-fucked)

Dear Roy Harper,

Do you need medical attention? As well as fresh cookies I can give you an examination.

Alfred Pennyworth.

HELL YES COOKIES

i mean uh. no i'm all good i already patched myself up. but thanks. and i'm very excited for the cookies.

Dear Roy,

You and Jason have fun, it is pride month after all. Be proud. Alfred Pennyworth.

hey mr. pennyworth i'm coming over to gotham to visit jason and i hurt my shoulder....... do you have any leftover cookies?

(@roy-ally-fucked)

Dear Roy Harper,

Do you need medical attention? As well as fresh cookies I can give you an examination.

Alfred Pennyworth.

I am going to get tim to do meth lsd and coccaine. Experimenting with your brother! :)

HUH???

Who are you? Where is he doing this? Are you getting it from a trusted source??? Also he can barely handle caffeine I have noooo idea if that's a good idea...

@teatimealfie help

Miss Arabella,

I do not know what we can do about this if we are unable to source who said it but likely it is an attempt at frightening you. Alfred Pennyworth.

Pennyworth...do you know if father and Richard are still busy with their mission

@heir-of-wayne

Dear Master Damian,

Master Bruce and Master Dick are both busy. I can attend to any needs you have in their sted. You will be informed when they are free.

Do you require affection or a need met?

Alfred Pennyworth.

I just had a bad dream, I am being immature...I do not require assistance

Master Damian,

I will come by your room with cookies milk and a book. You can have a hug and I will read to you until you are ready to sleep again.

It is part of my duties.

Alfred Pennyworth.

I do not believe this is a responsibility for a butler...but I suppose I shall allow it. Do not tell father or the others, I will be mocked endlessly for this.

Master Damian,

It is for a grandfather which i am. If you ask i shall fix anything i can. It is my job as your grandfather.

My lips are sealed.

With love,

Alfred Pennyworth.

...my grandfather before did not do anything of the sort.

I appericate your assistance Pennyworth, I have brought extra blankets for you

Master Damian,

Your grandfather was not very affectionate, it is unfortunate for some of your life you were raised without it. It is something all people need especially children.

Thank you. I will be by momentarily.

Alfred Pennyworth.

I am not a child Pennyworth, I do not have to indulge in immature whims such as "affection"

Master Damian,

You may be but I said people including, young adults need affection too. It is why people high five, fist bump and hug.

With love,

Alfred Pennyworth.

TT, I do not understand

Master Damian,

It is just how people are. We are born and raised to be social and affectionate.

It is why when Dick is home he asks for cuddles.

With love,

Alfred Pennyworth.

Pennyworth...do you know if father and Richard are still busy with their mission

@heir-of-wayne

Dear Master Damian,

Master Bruce and Master Dick are both busy. I can attend to any needs you have in their sted. You will be informed when they are free.

Do you require affection or a need met?

Alfred Pennyworth.

I just had a bad dream, I am being immature...I do not require assistance

Master Damian,

I will come by your room with cookies milk and a book. You can have a hug and I will read to you until you are ready to sleep again.

It is part of my duties.

Alfred Pennyworth.

I do not believe this is a responsibility for a butler...but I suppose I shall allow it. Do not tell father or the others, I will be mocked endlessly for this.

Master Damian,

It is for a grandfather which i am. If you ask i shall fix anything i can. It is my job as your grandfather.

My lips are sealed.

With love,

Alfred Pennyworth.

...my grandfather before did not do anything of the sort.

I appericate your assistance Pennyworth, I have brought extra blankets for you

Master Damian,

Your grandfather was not very affectionate, it is unfortunate for some of your life you were raised without it. It is something all people need especially children.

Thank you. I will be by momentarily.

Alfred Pennyworth.

I am not a child Pennyworth, I do not have to indulge in immature whims such as "affection"

Master Damian,

You may be but I said people including, young adults need affection too. It is why people high five, fist bump and hug.

With love,

Alfred Pennyworth.

Pennyworth...do you know if father and Richard are still busy with their mission

@heir-of-wayne

Dear Master Damian,

Master Bruce and Master Dick are both busy. I can attend to any needs you have in their sted. You will be informed when they are free.

Do you require affection or a need met?

Alfred Pennyworth.

I just had a bad dream, I am being immature...I do not require assistance

Master Damian,

I will come by your room with cookies milk and a book. You can have a hug and I will read to you until you are ready to sleep again.

It is part of my duties.

Alfred Pennyworth.

I do not believe this is a responsibility for a butler...but I suppose I shall allow it. Do not tell father or the others, I will be mocked endlessly for this.

Master Damian,

It is for a grandfather which i am. If you ask i shall fix anything i can. It is my job as your grandfather.

My lips are sealed.

With love,

Alfred Pennyworth.

...my grandfather before did not do anything of the sort.

I appericate your assistance Pennyworth, I have brought extra blankets for you

Master Damian,

Your grandfather was not very affectionate, it is unfortunate for some of your life you were raised without it. It is something all people need especially children.

Thank you. I will be by momentarily.

Alfred Pennyworth.

Pennyworth...do you know if father and Richard are still busy with their mission

@heir-of-wayne

Dear Master Damian,

Master Bruce and Master Dick are both busy. I can attend to any needs you have in their sted. You will be informed when they are free.

Do you require affection or a need met?

Alfred Pennyworth.

I just had a bad dream, I am being immature...I do not require assistance

Master Damian,

I will come by your room with cookies milk and a book. You can have a hug and I will read to you until you are ready to sleep again.

It is part of my duties.

Alfred Pennyworth.

I do not believe this is a responsibility for a butler...but I suppose I shall allow it. Do not tell father or the others, I will be mocked endlessly for this.

Master Damian,

It is for a grandfather which i am. If you ask i shall fix anything i can. It is my job as your grandfather.

My lips are sealed.

With love,

Alfred Pennyworth.

Bruce locked me in my room can you let me out??? I promise not to to and escape my House Arrest 🩷

- @arabella-drake-wayne

Dear Arabella,

No 💖 as you kids might put it. I won't be doing that. I know why you're locked in, do not try calling the police they've been informed you might call.

I am doing a sweep of your stashes now.

With love,

Alfred pennyworth.

I’m gonna die in here. I’m gonna die hot and young and tragic. My name shall be plastered on all the headlines saying ‘died of neglect’ with a bomb ass picture of me. Because they’re all really good.

YOU BOUGHT OUT THE POLICE???? Rude. So rude. What if I paid them?

WHATTTTTT???? Did Tim tell you where they are? You won’t find them all!

You are being locked into your room for two hours. You have a bathroom attached and were given food and snacks so we had time to scour the manor looking for your cocaine and weed. You are being loved and cared for.

No the police were called and told we were detoxing one of our children and they may call to manipulatively get out of detoxing. Using the word made them happy to ignore any of your calls.

He did and he found a couple more. He looked frightened when he told me what hed found. You're concerning us all Bella.

Yeah and it is torture. Also, I can’t eat any of the food you brought me. You won’t find all of them…. This family is a curse and I hate it here. I didn’t even choose to get adopted! I was like a buy one get one free with Tim!

Oh you are an evil butler…. I shall never forgive you! ‘Detoxing’ more like STARVING one of all good in the world.

Boo hoo go cry about it or whatever. We all know as soon as this is over I’ll go do it again. Don’t kid yourself.

Miss Arabella,

The food you were given youve happily eaten in the past. You cannot lie about this to get the door unlocked.

If you are insistent on continuing the drug usage I will be setting up a station in an unused wing for you so you can test your drugs to ensure they are safe. I am also bulk ordering narcan.

You can spend your time destroying your life and scaring your siblings but I am attempting to keep you alive. I could be much worse then I am and your complaining is fruitless.

Alfred pennyworth.

Yeah. In the past. I don’t want to eat it now. People change. I swear I will break this door down.

See that? That’s compromise! I can totally do that. I get my way, you get half of yours. It’s all good! Everyone’s happy.

I absolutely will do that, thanks. It’s my favorite pastime to see their terrified faces and hear their incessant nagging! They wouldn’t have to be like that if they kept their noses where they belong. Boooooo!!!! 🍅🍅🍅🍅

Miss arabella,

Eat it anyways or starve for a few hours. Tell me where your stashes are and we can be done quicker.

Your addictions wont be forced to overcome but your death would be unfavorable in every sense of the word.

Are you telling me if Tim was running around partying having unsafe sex and doing several kinds ot drugs youd be fine with it? Would you really let the boy you raised do what you do?

Alfred pennyworth.

Pennyworth...do you know if father and Richard are still busy with their mission

@heir-of-wayne

Dear Master Damian,

Master Bruce and Master Dick are both busy. I can attend to any needs you have in their sted. You will be informed when they are free.

Do you require affection or a need met?

Alfred Pennyworth.

I just had a bad dream, I am being immature...I do not require assistance

Master Damian,

I will come by your room with cookies milk and a book. You can have a hug and I will read to you until you are ready to sleep again.

It is part of my duties.

Alfred Pennyworth.

Bruce locked me in my room can you let me out??? I promise not to to and escape my House Arrest 🩷

- @arabella-drake-wayne

Dear Arabella,

No 💖 as you kids might put it. I won't be doing that. I know why you're locked in, do not try calling the police they've been informed you might call.

I am doing a sweep of your stashes now.

With love,

Alfred pennyworth.

YOU BOUGHT OUT THE POLICE???? Rude. So rude. What if I paid them?

WHATTTTTT???? Did Tim tell you where they are? You won’t find them all!

No the police were called and told we were detoxing one of our children and they may call to manipulatively get out of detoxing. Using the word made them happy to ignore any of your calls.

He did and he found a couple more. He looked frightened when he told me what hed found. You're concerning us all Bella.

Oh you are an evil butler…. I shall never forgive you! ‘Detoxing’ more like STARVING one of all good in the world.

Boo hoo go cry about it or whatever. We all know as soon as this is over I’ll go do it again. Don’t kid yourself.