Untitled @technoskoege - Tumblr Blog

43 days mfkers

It's like every colour is faded, and all i see is gray

I feel like I'm a shade of what I used to be

I miss having a friend group, so much. I miss having friends in general. I used to be amazing, happy, enthusiastic about life. Drugs didnt take that away from me, people did. People suck. I suck. But I used to not suck. Last summer, I was genuinely euphoric about life, to the point where my mom thought I was high, I wasn't, I was stone cold sober, just euphoric. I had friends, a life worth living, just through and through happy. I want it back. I'm trying to get it back, but its so hard, going through every single day, knowing how happy I once was, and not knowing when I'll feel like that again. It crushes my soul to feel like this, and every attempt I make to work towards happiness seems futile, cause I still feel empty, lonely, its like nothing I do makes a difference. It's so painful going through every single day, feeling like nothing makes a difference, like nothing makes me happy. I want my life back so badly. 28 days sober from G btw. I still feel fucking miserable, but at least I'm more in control, and I'm forced to deal with my emotions and thoughts, rather than just numbing down everything. I haven't given up yet, I hope I won't, cause I know I can be happy again, but every day is a struggle.

Jeg. Savner. G. Fuck alkohol, I hate you. But like holy fucking fuck fuck G as well.

#fælgrens #gbl #ghb #substances #alcohol

Spring and summer will change everything. Now I just need to get through this, and I'll know things will get better, if I do get through this alive anyhow.

Whoever invented cold darkness and winter should off themselves ngl

I just dropped my absolute favourite ring inside a toilet, and I can't get it out. Not in the toilet bowl, it fell behind the toilet and inside the fucking toilet itself. ANY IDEAS? Maybe a magnet attached to a string would do it, idk

Bro G legit took one month away from my life, that shit was the worst mistake I've made in a while. It made me comfortable in my misery, so I did nothing, saw noone, and holy god damn shit I took some insane doses in the end. Like idk whats normal doses, but personally I've never met anyone who's taken more than 2.6ml at once, and I know a lot of GG's. I took 5.1, god damn

#fælgrens #gbl #ghb #substances

Okay I had to post this just to show you, cause these are some wild numbers. GBL I am done with you, def gonna be like 3 months till my tolerance is somewhere where it'd be safe for me to use again.

We sober from G again, for good this time I think. Still early stages, but I think we are back

Everything I do is still just an attempt to feel the way I did back then. I know that there's none like you, and I've given up hope that anyone will ever make me feel the way I felt around you.

It's been a whole year now, but not one day goes by where I don't miss you. Happy birthday to me, 2,4 ml, a toast to my sorrow, I'll drink to that.

Idk what to write anymore, or rather why to write. It feels pointless, who am I doing it for? Even conversations feel pointless. I don't know if I have it in me to survive this stale nothingness that my life has become.

I'm deeply unhappy, I lost so much of what my life was, and I'm no longer excited about things. I feel nothing.

I had three near death experiences this week. I fear if I keep taking G, it'll be the death of me, so goodbye in advance, everyone.

Haven't posted in a while, things are bad. Real bad. Lost the plot, I'm off the charts. I should really phone home.

Reached super addict mindspace and its some scary shit ngl

Whoever promised everything would be okay (parents) you lied, you're lying now. And it's the biggest lie of them all.

I don't think you're able to comprehend how much I miss you, and how big of a wound you left me with, disappearing from my life.

All I want is you, now, all I wanna do, now, is waitin' for you to call me, baby I'm so sorry. Do you wanna hurt me, are you gonna hurt me? Please don't desert me, please don't desert me.

Like bro I don't give a shit about anyone else than you, when it comes down to it all. I just want you, nothing else. Please, come back my love.

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