love so sweet

park haewon. 24. 1/5 of quantum

[teddyfmd]

hello loves !! it’s mili here with my son, haewon theodore park, stage name teddy, main vocal extraordinaire of quantum 👏👏  for anyone who’s interested you can find his profile and plots page linked and of course there’s everything you need to know about teddy under the read more. please do give this post a ♡ if you’d like to plot and i’ll slide into your ims to do just that but until then !! have an amazing day !! and stan loona obv !!

run down of his bio (don’t read his actual bio trust me):

sydney born and raised, lived there for the majority of the school year with his mother and traveled to marseille, france to spend summers and long holidays with his father

fluent in both french and english

his mother is a theater actress so he’s spent his childhood following her around and watching her perform. she’s quite a strict person, wanted to raise haewon as a high achiever so she micromanaged his schedule for years until haewon got fed up with it and moved with his grandfather back in korea

got super interested in music after hearing a classmate practicing alone in the music room, he basically fell in love at the first sound lol. after that he joined the music club and, after spending a lot of time with that classmate, subsequently fell in love for Real for real. found out soon after that she had some health problems that made any future between them impossible so he just opted to never tell her about his feelings in the end

she convinced haewon to participate in dimensions’ audition together and lo and behold they both got in, though he was the only one who became a trainee and only because she managed to convince him

hateeed being a trainee 10/10 worst experience of his life but also not really, he’s just a bit dramatic sometimes. it actually helped him hone many of the skills he’d already acquired while under his mother’s reign of terror

he was pretty quiet while quantum debuted and in that subsequent period because his korean wasn’t necessarily fluent and he didn’t want to bring too much attention to it in the first place so the public thought he was the shy type but in actuality he is very social and likes to make new friends on the regular!

some facts:

knows how to sew (say thank you mama park who more or less forced him to stitch back her dresses before she went on stage)

fully thought quantum’s first win was an april fools joke before several members and the mc told him they ACTUALLY won like fr fr won and then he started crying

has an obsession with kdramas at this point but he mainly watches the slice of life ones and he regularly gives fans recommendations

because his stage name is teddy he gets a lot of teddy bears from fans and he lowkey loves that, he keeps them all on his bed or around his apartment when he runs out of room and regularly wears keychains and whatever teddy bear memorabilia he gets

is a big girl group fan and even if his dancing is just Okay™️ he will religiously learn girl group dances as they get released, sometimes practicing them more than quantum’s own songs rip

used to write songs when he was in hs and tbh most of them were love songs but he hasn’t written/composed anything in a while because he can’t bring himself to touch any instrument to work notes out and stuff, so he just walks around with a head full of ideas that he doesn’t do anything with 

is a lightweight but he likes to drink way too much which in all honesty is a scandal waiting to happen

a voracious romance reader, has an old kindle with a bear case on it that contains at least 50 books, maybe more, that he carries around with him at every schedule

some plot ideas:

friends are always super wanted ofc but a super specific type i’d like haewon to have is a flirty kind of friendship, someone that he can’t help but flirt with whenever they have a coversation or see each other during schedules/hangouts. doesn’t have to be romantic in nature at all and all genders are super welcome! 

i would also love some kind of rivals plot but one sided? as in haewon sees this person as his rival in the vocal department and is doing his best to keep ahead of them by taking on more vocal intense projects and the other person being like “oh he’s such a hard worker! such a cool guy! keep it up!” like very clueless about haewon’s inner turmoil lol

also listen i would love a ship…tbh he’s been keeping away from love for a while now but he’s also a romantic at heart so i’d like to give him something to be happy about. we can work details and take it slow to see if they vibe but i’d just love him to be a little bit smitten with someone again 😭

[teddyfmd]

fmdjaein​:

teddy’s statement sparks a curiosity in jaein’s mind. when it comes to this show, who has the upper hand? was it mnet or was it the three companies forcing their artists onto the show? she slips into her own thoughts for a moment, wondering if any of their companies actually had that much power. truthfully, they could probably do without mnet if they wanted to, but it also seems like a pretty big lost. failing to come to a conclusion, she simply laughs at his words and gives him an agreeing nod. 

“we went to both melbourne and sydney, but sydney was our last stop. i can’t tell you much about the place though because all i got to see of it was the hotel and concert venue.” she hasn’t kept up with quantum’s career so she’s unsure if teddy’s visited before or not, but she really has nothing much to offer up. all she can remember about the country was that it was pretty hot and that the hotel room was nice. “doing anything touristy during a world tour sounds nice, but we’re always immediately packing our bags and moving to the next place. leaves no time for leisure.” not that jaein would be up for sight seeing or whatever. when she retires, maybe she’ll go back.

she nods while listening to him describe his stage. it seems like everybody’s experience was pretty similar. “i’ve had the unfortunate luck of not being able to rehearse in one venue more than once so i’m not sure how it’ll turn out,” she admits with a shrug. “it’s not completely girl crush though. a little spooky actually.” she still believes that the concept doesn’t match up with the song, but they’ve come too far to really change anything. 

maybe teddy’s spend too much time cooped up in the studio lately because he swears that his mouth wasn’t this loose before, but it’s too late to think about it now when the words are out and about, probably ending up as mere scribbles in someone’s notebook, their destiny a mystery even for him. so he doesn’t lament on it and instead focuses on jaein and the news she brings about home. maybe he’s too dramatic to think about it as news, because god knows tours are taxing and he honestly doubts she’s had any chance to actually experience the city as it was intended to, but sydney is a part of him and if he pays a bit too much attention to what she’s saying, no one can fault him for that. 

“oh that’s a bummer.” he physically deflates at that, shoulders lowering in time with his increasingly slouched posture. “maybe you’ll get a chance to go back someday, it’s a really beautiful city. i used to kind of hate it when i was young though.” a few memories come to his mind then, his mother a permanent fixture in most of them, scolding him or watching him like a hawk but never actually giving him the freedom he so wished for. even now, teddy likes to blame her for his leaving home though he’s since come to his senses and realized that, as much as she was unbearable in the worst ways, he too played a part in it. there’s no point to dwell on it at present. “it’s kind of weird that i miss it now, isn’t it? but i guess everyone misses home at one point in their life.” 

the urge to comment on the lack of benefits this show brings to every group that has to participate in it is almost unbearably strong, but teddy doubts it’s anything he hasn’t complained about already and he doesn’t want to give whoever may be in charge of editing the footage any more ammunition than he’d already did so he keeps quiet. “your stages are amazing though, i’m sure you’ll do well in crowned too.” it’s surprising to hear that ultraviolet are doing a spooky concept, but it’s also intriguing and his curiosity is piqued; definitely something he’ll look forward to. “that sounds really cool. what song are you going to perform? if you’re allowed to say, that is.”

[teddyfmd]

me: setting my queue to post replies even though the event’s due date is one day away and i’m nowhere near getting to 4 posts per thread

me:

[teddyfmd]

fmdduri​:

duri was completely focused on the practice, truth be told. he had to make sure he had everything down - the moves, the placements, and everything in between. duri wasn’t nervous about the singing portion, he never could be, with him being a golden vocalist. he also used to not be worried about choreography, but with his condition seemingly going south, he worried about not doing good, worried about messing up, and bringing the whole team down because his leg decides to have a very bad day. but, duri always seemed to manage to get through it - even if sometimes, it does indeed hurt.

just as quickly as it started, it felt like it had quickly finished up. he takes a few moments to catch his breath, to make sure everything was good. just as he caught his breath, teddy comes upon him, and an even brighter smile is placed upon duri’s lips then the one that he was always carrying around. he giggled happily, “ah, thank you! i’ve been sure to practice hard to help to put on the best show!” he said, before he’s bowing in thanks. that did really help to make duri feel better, truth be told; it made a bit of his woes wash away a bit in the cold air of the practice room. 

he shook his head, “not bad at all! we should be doing it a few more times, so you’ll be able to see it as much as you want!” he said, a giggle leaving his lips once more. “how has practice been going for quantum?” he asked, not helping but to be curious.

teddy nods along with duri’s words, taking in the information as best as he can, smiling encouragingly when his senior mentions the hard and most likely long hours of practice he’s put into the performance. and it shows, their synchronization something out of his league, making the junior dream about attaining that kind of mastery over this craft that both of them are trying to excel at. “we’ve been cooped up in the practice room too, i can swear i haven’t seen the light of day in ages. though i don’t think we’re nearly as well off as you guys are.”

with that, he turns his head slightly to observe some of the other members of titan, a little bit of admiration seeping out of glance in the process as he listens to duri’s affirmation, before his attention returns to the conversation. “i’m glad i came when i did then! i’m going to be here all day if nothing or no one comes up to take me away.” it’s then that teddy realizes that he’s forgotten all about the reason he came here in the first place and, noticing the way the conversation progresses, he thinks that not mentioning it just yet would do him no harm.

averting his eyes turns out to be easier than he’d thought, especially when the stage is right there with its little details, material enough for him to fixate on as he tries to collect his thoughts. it’s with a small sigh that he answers duri’s question, a bit upset at himself but trying not to let that bother him too much. “it’s a bit hard honestly. we’re preparing for a comeback at the same time and i’m the furthest thing from a good dancer, so it’s confusing at best.” he tries to smile but nothing more than a grimace comes up on his face, surely not enough to fool anyone. “but it’s going, i guess? and we’ll be ready by the time we have to perform so that’s all that matters.”

[teddyfmd]

fmdjaein​:

the way the quantum member speaks of the show gives her a bit of comfort. there’s something about realizing that she’s not the only one who doesn’t want to be here. not that the chances were slim anyway. she’s betting that the older idols are probably wanting out of the competition show. it’s useless, really. there’s only a few groups on the roster that she’d argue actually needs the exposure. 

“better be careful. i’m sure the audio directors are jotting down everything we say. you’ll end up being evil edited.” it’s not a warning of any sort because she doubts teddy isn’t aware of the consequences of his words, but she doesn’t think a reminder would hurt. “but you’re pretty much right. i was in australia up until two days ago,” she answers with a chuckle.

jaein shakes her head at his apology because it’s not needed. “we’re all tired, and you pretty much said what was on my mind anyway.” with a sigh, she crossed her arms across her chest as she took a look at the schedule for today. there were still a couple of groups to be shot before ultraviolet which meant she’ll be on standby for a couple more hours. “how are preparations going? of course, if you’re allowed to say so.” 

teddy makes quick work of putting his kindle on sleep mode, the flap of its case barely hanging on by a thread as he struggles to deposit it in his already flowing backpack. after he’s done he pushes it back in its place underneath the chair and, throwing a glance around their surroundings whilst jaein’s reminder registers in his ears, he makes eye contact with a staff member after they finished jutting something down on a notepad. “i doubt dimensions is going to let them air any kind of slander, even if it comes from their own artists, but you’re right, i should be more careful.”

then he redirects his attention on her, the chuckle prompting out a smile out of his lips that’s brighter upon hearing his home country mentioned. “really? which city?” there’s a pang of nostalgia that hits his chest at that, his thoughts automatically jumping to the image of his mother and the city that he’s called home for a better part of his life. “did you have any chance to visit before the concert? i’m assuming you couldn’t after since you had to be back so soon for this shitshow.” 

“sorry, i meant this amazing competition.” the correction comes fast and the emphasis sounds louder than his usual tone of voice, but he rolls his eyes quickly afterwards, not giving a damn if anyone elsa had paid attention or not. it’s with a tired sigh that he continues, trying to give jaein as best an answer as he can muster without actually divulging any important detail. “they’re okay. tiring, but everything is lately so that’s not new. i like the idea behind our stage though or, well, some of it. we’ll see about the execution.” a small shrug of his shoulders accompanies his words before curiosity takes over. “what about yours? should i look forward to a girl crush concept?”

[teddyfmd]

an event starter for @fmdduri !!

it’s easy to feel small in a room full of giants, especially when said giants are teddy’s seniors and currently wiping the floor with every preconceived notion he might have had about their performance prior to his arrival to the venue. in contrast with titan though, everything else seems huge as well; the scene, the props, the overhead cameras dancing above the group. maybe it’s just the vantage point that gives him such an impression, the distance between him and the stage contributing to the grandiose impression, but teddy can’t help but feel blown away by it all.

only a few minutes pass until the group finishes their run through and teddy makes quick work of approaching the members, respectfully greeting all of them but seeking out one person in particular. when his eyes fall on duri a big, delighted smile makes its way toward his lips and, waving lightly, he joins his senior with a compliment first and foremost. “your performance was so good!” maybe it’s too forward of him, too sudden, but he has to give credit where credit is due and so, without missing a beat, he keeps gushing about the stage he’d just seen.

“is it bad of me to ask if you’re going to do that again? i don’t think i can actually leave until i see it one more time, my conscience won’t let me.”

[teddyfmd]

taeyongfmd​:

@teddyfmd //  2 + killing me by chungha     →  early july 2022

the hallways connecting dimensions’ practice rooms are busier than ever these days. if it isn’t enough that all of the groups are working on a comeback, they all have crowned on their shoulders now as well to keep them rehearsing into the late nights and early mornings.

honestly, polaris doesn’t have much to prove on crowned. there’s the pressure to live up to the status they’ve achieved and a truly awful performance will no doubt be criticized all the more if it happens because of their success outside of the show, but notoriety is a magnet for attention both negative and positive and that isn’t news to ash. he can’t shake memories of the first ever competition show polaris had ever been on, though,

that’d been more than ten years ago and he’d been a brand new teenager at the time. the korean language had been a massive wall in his way that loomed in the background over the slightly smaller wall of having trained for only a few weeks before being thrown to the wolves on national television. eleven years older and more secure in both his language abilities and talents, crowned shouldn’t intimidate him. and if he’s asked, it doesn’t. but that doesn’t explain the rare nerves he feels when he thinks about what the comments online might say. (would they see through him to flaws he doesn’t even know he has again?)

he hasn’t thought much about how any of the other groups might be feeling until he runs into one of the quantum members leaving the practice room he’s shown up to enter one day. “hey,” ash greets in passing, trying to get a look at teddy’s face to see if he can read any sign of how he’s doing on it. he could walk past and leave it at that, and most days he would — ash isn’t known for socializing around the company building — but today his curiosity and search for solidarity get the best of him. maybe it’s that loneliness getting to him again.

“how’s it going? practice, i mean. you working on your comeback or your crowned stage today? or is there something else brewing that i hadn’t heard about yet?” here’s the thing — ash isn’t the best at playing the role of the good senior. he often reads unapproachable and distant and wholly uninterested in the going-ons outside of his own (incredibly busy) world. today, something compels him to try stepping into shoes he hasn’t worn in yet over the past eleven years. “have you eaten yet? dimensions must be working you hard these days.” and it’s easy to forget basic human needs with a schedule packed within an inch of its life; ash knows that much all too well.

the news of quantum’s participation to the show hit with a force much stronger than teddy would have anticipated. it was fine at first, excitement was high, expectations that management would take into account their already established and clearly discussed beforehand comeback preparations not yet shattered, the quantum members' belief (and his own added to the mix) that the company would find ways to avoid overworking still going strong.

but honestly in hindsight? he should have known that their well being is the last thing companies like dimensions take into account when making any sort of decision. 

it’s now what, the third, fourth day in a row that he’s been cooped up in the same practice room, choreographies and verses mixing together in a fog of confusion and exasperation that persists even when he’s in top form. the same routine that by now is starting to grate on his nerves and, unable to put up with it any longer, he grabs his backpack and makes toward the door. and if he opens it with a bit too much force, letting it fall behind him without caring if it slams or not, no one will be the wiser. 

taeyong’s greeting takes him by surprise however, sentiment that his face is all too quick to put on display through parted lips and widened eyes and teddy’s sure that his senior is only addressing him as a good natured prelude to a subsequent scolding, one that he is fully deserving of if he’s being completely honest with himself. because why else would the man be talking to him in the first place? it’s not like they’re friends, teddy’s not even sure if acquaintances would be an appropriate enough term to describe whatever sort of relationship there is between them and so he remains ever the skeptic, replying in kind with an awkward “hi?” of his own in preparation for what is to come.  he doesn’t expect the other to actually take an interest in what he’s doing, which is precisely why the questions take him by surprise. “uh...both? it’s horrible, everything’s starting to mix together and i’m this close to walk off into the sun and never come back ever again.” 

teddy knows he probably sounds like a petulant child, dissatisfied with whatever stick he’s pulled out of the big pile, but at this point he couldn’t care less about whatever impression he’s giving off as long as he can complain freely. “god i hope they’ve got nothing else in mind for us, i honestly don’t know how much i can keep up wi-” it’s then that his stomach decides to come alive, announcing its indignation at its owner’s brilliant idea of skipping meals loud and clear for everyone in a ten mile radius to hear and, for lack of a better idea to continue the conversation, he jumps in with an offer. “i didn’t get a chance to eat yet, no, but...listen i don’t know if i’m overstepping or keeping you from work or whatever, but do you wanna grab a bite? my treat.”

[teddyfmd]

crowned interview #1

why do you think the song you’re performing is your group’s “representative song”?

teddy glances at the staff for a second, momentarily unsure about his decision to speak his mind, brutal honesty and all, but he is also stubborn and, frankly, tired of putting on a nice act whenever people tell him to. “honestly? i don’t think wonderland is our representative song. i mean, everyone has different tastes i guess, so maybe fans like it better or it left a deeper impression on them, but personally i think we could have gone with wave instead. it’s just more fun to perform and i think almost everyone heard it at least once during summer, if not more.”

what are you thoughts on the stage concept for your group?

“it’s….a lot.” he stops for a second, unsure how to continue because he truly, from the bottom of his heart, hates it, but he’s also aware that there have been a lot of people working on it, arguably more stressed than quantum has been juggling preparations for their comeback at the same time as filming for crowned and he doesn’t want to shit on their hard work. “i think the idea is good, it’s a concept people love seeing in movies so i think it will be well received by the public and i’m honestly very excited to see if it will rise to expectations.”

how have rehearsals been going for your stage? what challenges have there been?

a long suffering sigh precedes his answer, a sigh that he quickly tries to mask under him thinking about what to say and coming up short, though the extent of his success is unknown to him. “i think we’re all a bit stressed about it, or we were in the beginning? it’s a very busy period for us and there have been one or two memorable disagreements when we first started to prepare for the stage, but i think the fact that we’ve been working as a team for a while makes us understand each other better and not dwell on unnecessary stuff when they come up, yeah.”

which group do you see as your biggest threat for the win in the competition?

“pretty much every single group in this show is a threat to us honestly. they’re all very good performers and especially loved by the public and, god i might get jumped for this but i don’t think we have that big of a chance to win.” teddy offers a cheeky grin as he leans back in his chair, arms crossed at the chest. “but that doesn’t mean we won’t fight for it with all we’ve got.”

what does your group have that gives you a unique claim to winning the show?

“i don’t know if this counts for the rest of the show but i think our strength lies in the fact that we’re a very concept centered group. i see it as both a strength and a weakness at the same time honestly, because we’re very good at concepts but at the same time we might be way too used to them and might rely on them a bit too much to show any other strengths that we might have.”

what do you hope to show through crowned?

“i guess…a better version of ourselves is the standard answer here, isn’t it?” he grins, wishing for it to be as good-natured as possible but he can’t contain the tinge of bitterness that seeps through it that he can only hope the camera doesn’t pick up on. “i think that’s a goal for every group participating, but my personal wish is to show people that don’t know about quantum that we exist and that we are very good at what we do, and that becoming a fan is worth it.”

[teddyfmd]

fmdjaein​:

arriving at the studio, jaein was already counting down the hours until she could go home. her day had started way too early with makeup and hair, and she could already tell that this was going to take a super long time. having all these idol groups called in at once should be illegal or something. why couldn’t production teams be better at giving accurate call times. 

by the time she steps into the room, there’s a few idols and by the looks on their faces, she assumes they’re all sharing the thoughts she’s having. with a sigh, she takes the seat that she sees first and slouches down on it before remembering that there probably are cameras here and there. straightening her posture, she steals a glance at the poor fella who’s beside her before letting out another sigh. 

“how long have you been here?” it’s a neutral enough question that even if it catches air, it probably won’t be too much of a deal. also, it’s boring enough that she doesn’t think it’ll make the final cut.

@teddyfmd

teddy has already been sitting in the same chair for over half an hour now, bathroom breaks and wardrobe checks notwithstanding, and the only thing he has to show for it is a slightly annoyed expression and a visibly well-used kindle that’s been abandoned in his lap in favor of him just staring into space, blank expression in place, contemplating everything and nothing at the same time.

his reverie is soon broken by someone taking the seat next to him and, when addressed, teddy blinks himself back to the present, concentrating all of his attention on jaein. “too long.” the answer betrays a tint of annoyance that he honestly doesn’t care if it gets picked by cameras. “weren’t you on tour or something? let me guess, they dragged you here before your schedules were done like they did us, huh?”

belatedly, teddy realizes that maybe his temper makes him come off as a prick and so he backtracks before she can have a chance to even think about replying to his previous inquiry. “god i’m sorry, it’s just….it’s been a long day. you don’t have to explain yourself or anything..”

[digitalmp3]

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[teddyfmd]

fmdrioh·:

Rioh can’t help but feel slightly shy in this moment, that goes without saying, but all at once, he feels a sense of pride envelop him, too. Since the beginning of the year, he’s poured hours upon hours into his body; his workout routines becoming more involved once he set his mind to his end goal. He did all he could in order to achieve the vision he had for himself. He was mindful about what he ate and made sure to provide himself with enough sustenance to support his arduous exercise habits. He focused on building muscle tone and filling himself out more, and only after a couple of months, he began to see his results. His abdominal muscles have been carved out, his legs, his thighs, and his backside have grown thicker, his arms can carry a lot more weight now, and his frame, in general, appears more sinewy. It wasn’t easy, and it took a lot of discipline, but he’s never been this happy with his appearance. It’s given him a confidence that he can’t exactly describe as it’s still so new to him, but standing in front of Teddy without a shred of clothing on his body, he feels almost happy to show off his hard work. It’s daunting that he’s presenting himself to someone whose opinion about him genuinely matters to him, but he feels good at the same time, and that feeling of contentment only grows deeper whenever Rioh hears Teddy’s reaction. A dopey grin colors his expression, and he’s glad to see that his lover is now standing up and stripping down, as well. That’s obviously a good sign.

teddy’s heart throbs with affection the moment rioh takes his hand, the touch reminding him of just how much he wants to be with this wonderful man before him. the desire is not necessarily sexual in nature, though he’d lie if he said that wasn’t at least part of it, but the simple thought of them existing in the same space together, laughing and talking and sharing knowing smiles and inside jokes, watching movies and commenting on the absurdity of certain scenarios, falling asleep in each other’s arms and holding hands while out on dates; all of those little things that lovers do, he desperately wants to do them all with rioh. as they reach the bedroom and the younger sits down on the bed, gifting teddy with one of the sweetest gestures known to man, a kiss on the stomach, his chest warms up with a yearning so powerful that he has no idea what to do with himself. 

curiosity mixed with something akin to worry makes his eyebrows rise slightly as soon as he registers rioh’s words. suddenly teddy starts to replay the evening in his mind, afraid that he might have said something wrong or done something to cause discomfort; maybe the brashness of his previous words was too much and killed the mood or maybe he did something that made the younger reconsider the future of their night together. he doesn’t get very far with the inquiry into his own thoughts before the younger speaks once more and it’s then that teddy relaxes once again, every anxiety induced scenario quickly evaporating from his head. “oh thank god.” he lets out an audible exhale with the words before he realizes how the sentence must have sounded. “wait, i didn’t mean it like thank god you’re a virgin, i just thought-” the speed at which teddy drapes his palms over his face, covering it in a full display of embarrassment, is astounding even to himself and he doesn’t even want to think about what impression this whole spectacle might have given rioh. “i just thought you were gonna kick me out or something..” his tone of voice sounds slightly defeated and that’s because he is, stupidity has that effect on him sometimes, but it doesn’t take long for him to find his footing once again and when he does, teddy gently taps below rioh’s chin with his index finger, trying to make him look into his eyes.

it’s a bit distracting, the way he’s being touched, the younger’s hands on his skin, dipping lower and lower, but he wants to get this out before things can advance any more than they already did. “hey, hear me out a bit?” teddy makes sure rioh is fully focused on him, wrapping his palms around the younger’s shoulders before he continues his train of thought. “i like you too. a lot actually and i’m very happy that you trust me with all of this. if you’re extremely sure that you want your first time to be with me then i’ll make sure to make you feel good, just be honest with me if you don't like something, okay?” he offers a smile, small and shy, more of a sheepish grin than anything else but it shows into his eyes, the way they shine with equal parts adoration and affection and it’s all for him, all for rioh to see and bask in. and then teddy lets go of his lover’s shoulders in favor of trailing his palms down his arms, a teasing touch meant to encourage the younger to continue his initial plan, only helping with getting his legs out when absolutely necessary. it doesn’t take long before the black jeans are discarded on the floor and teddy is standing in the room buck naked and painfully, achingly hard. 

[teddyfmd]

fmdrioh​:

Rioh’s shocking himself. Is his aching need for human contact causing him to be too eager? Is his overwhelming attraction to Teddy causing him to move too quickly? There are far too many thoughts that zoom through his head, almost as if his mind resembles the hustle and bustle of Seoul Central Station, and he’s hoping to God that he’s finding his way successfully. He would hate it if his guest thought that he was only invited over to engage in a game of carnal desires. That’s not true; not at all. Honestly speaking, their night was meant to involve the two of them exploring possibilities, and while Rioh prepared himself for lustful acts in case they happened, he didn’t imagine these feelings sweeping him off of his feet so hastily. That being said though, and despite his many doubts, the fact that they’re starting with their dessert first seems right. It’s something he can’t really explain, but they’re moving together in a manner that entices him; that excites him. The simple way that Teddy holds onto the small of his back as they kiss lets him know that how he feels is reciprocated, and it’s further confirmed verbally by his lover mere moments later.

Once those syllables leave Teddy’s perfect lips, Rioh swallows his nerves — pupils dilating with supreme attraction as his heart pounds against his chest harder than it ever has. Being told that he can have everything nearly brings tears to his eyes, but he does his best to not get too overwhelmed. Instead, he distracts himself slightly by speaking. “You can have everything, too. All of me… I mean it.” He adds, then hums as the sensitive skin of his neck and collarbone are doused in love-bites. He’s never felt this wanted in his life; never felt this desired. It’s something that he’s scared of becoming hooked on, but he can’t help himself from indulging — from allowing his body to be held in such a heated grasp only to be explored intimately; slowly. He’s only ever gotten close to the edge when it comes to turning fantasies into reality with the same sex, but right now, with Teddy, he feels himself teetering along the cliff’s edge and preparing to nosedive; hoping to enjoy the free-fall when it happens.

A lustful ( somewhat frustrated ) sigh slips from between his lips before he’s kissed deeper, and as the smoothness of his skin his teased, he feels chills glissade down the length of his spine; goosebumps scattering over his arms and legs at the gentleness of his senior’s fingertips and palms. How on earth does something so simple feel this good? Throwing caution to the wind, he presses onward; keeping up with Teddy’s motions as best he can despite being way less experienced. Though, a wanton moan roars from his chest and into the other’s mouth once his backside is grabbed — clearly letting him know that this part of his body is hypersensitive to stimulation. “Mmm…” Rioh hums, then whines audibly when the kiss is broken; despising the loss of contact, his protests coming across slightly bratty. “It’s more than okay… it’s perfect,” he begins, then leans in for another peck, “you are perfect…” he coos as he pulls back briefly. In this intermission, he boldly pulls his shirt off and tosses it across the room; revealing the torso he’s spent hours working on at the gym.

there’s an emptiness left behind when rioh steps back that leaves teddy with a pout on his face, one that’s exquisitely short lived however because the moment he hears his lover speak and registers the intent behind those words, the pout all but disappears in favor of his mouth hanging open as he unabashedly gawks. brown eyes trace every relief on the dancer’s body, committing every feature to memory for a later perusal and, as his perspective shifts downward, teddy becomes increasingly aware of the tightness in his pants. “damn..” it’s a soft whisper, the word coming out in english because his mind is too lust addled to focus on anything else but the man before him. it doesn’t take teddy long to hop off the couch himself, mimicking rioh’s actions as he takes off his shirt, discarding it on the floor before making quick work of his belt and zipper. he doesn’t shake off his pants however, not yet, preferring instead to direct his attention towards the dancer.

“c’mere.” teddy beckons, arms extended to gently guide rioh into his hold once more, fingers eagerly curling around the shorter’s hips. it’s an indulgence he offers himself, the way he allows his hands to explore every inch of rioh’s magnificent body, the way they trail up and down that superb abdomen that teddy is sure he’ll have fantasies about in a few days’ time and, most of all, the way his mouth waters at the mere sight of his lover’s nipples, the simple thought of enveloping one of the buds between his lips entirely too much to bear. he feels compelled to give praise, to worship the proverbial gift standing before him and, while he unashamedly grabs rioh’s ass, gently squeezing his prize while strategically positioning his knee between his lover’s legs, applying the slightest pressure, not enough to hurt but enough to be felt, he whispers a raspy, not well rehearsed “you’re so fucking sexy..” in the man’s ear.

as if trying to give purpose to the words, teddy licks his way down rioh’s neck, softly blowing on the remaining trail of saliva before going back in, paving a road of small kisses towards the collarbone and, akin to giving a parting gift, he bites the chosen spot, sucking the skin lightly before offering it a small peck in return for its commendable service, soothing the subsequent discomfort. “mm, are you usually this forward with everyone you sleep with or is this special treatment?” the question is meant as a teasing remark more than an inquiry and it shows in his following actions, because teddy barely gives rioh enough time to get in a reply before he takes over the younger’s mouth with his own, using the rapid excuse of a ravenous kiss to pull the body in his embrace ever closer.

the atmosphere changes quickly after that and the self control that he possesses is crumbling by the second. and honestly how could it not, when rioh is in his arms, looking like a dream and making the most delicious sounds teddy’s ever heard in his life. he doesn’t think anyone in their right mind would actually manage to act like a normal, functioning member of society in circumstances such as these. it’s a solid reasoning, one that he uses to prompt his lewd train of thought forward. “listen,” it’s hardly a solid beginning, especially since he’s barely managed to pull back from his partner’s enticing mouth, his voice wavering slightly as a result, but he pulls himself together enough to continue, laying his thoughts at rioh’s proverbial feet. “as much as i’d like to bend you over the couch right now and fuck you senseless, i think we should give your bed a try first.” teddy doesn’t blush, doesn’t even feel a modicum of shame at the suggestion because it represents his desires exactly and in such a bare way that there’s hardly any doubts left if he’s enjoying himself or not.

[teddyfmd]

solo_001 / audiobook recording

the morning finds teddy in the recording studio. this room, unlike the dancing studio, is one he is awfully familiar with, having spent more time between these walls than any others within the dimensions building and, as he takes a second to really look at his surrounding, something he hasn’t really done before, not in a long while at least, the realization that he is not here to sing this time around slowly settles in. it’s a weird feeling, this difference in expectations, a rather welcomed one considering that almost every solo project he’s ever done had something to do with music. it’s refreshing to not have the pressure of singing well or conveying the right emotions at all times weighing down on his shoulders for a change, but more than that, it’s nice to be doing something else.

the contemplation leaves him with little time for preparation and, when the sound engineer comes back and, seconds later is joined by the director, teddy takes his place in the booth, headphones in place on his ears and, as he’s given the signal, he starts to read with a steady voice. 

“once upon a time there lived a dog that was very good at hiding his emotions. the dog was tied beneath a shade tree. he always wagged his tail and acted cutely, so he got the name ‘the cheerful dog’, because he was as cheerful as springtime.” 

as he dives into reading the second paragraph, teddy is suddenly overcome with a coughing fit, the result of his saliva taking a wrong turn down his throat. he quickly signals the director, one hand lightly gesticulating for a free moment whilst he uses the other to cover his mouth. the moment doesn’t last long and, after he manages to take a few gulps of water to settle his voice and make sure he can breathe properly, teddy makes sure to offer plenty of apologeting bows towards the people working with him. the panic settles in early in spite of their reassuring nods and thumbs ups and all he can think about is the fact that he’s messed up, that he’s jeopardizing his chance at more projects in the future, that he is not giving his all even in a simple project like this. it’s the mean voice at the back of his head that prompts these kinds of thoughts, the one that sounds suspiciously similar to his mother, the one that no matter how much he tries teddy, can’t quite get rid of for good. 

the director motions for the start of the recording again, but his head is not into it and as he starts reading again, his voice makes the fact crystal clear for everyone present. 

“the dog always had lots of fun with the village kids during the day, but every night he’d moan and whine when no one was around. that’s because he wanted to cut off the leash and freely run around out in the spring field. however, he couldn’t. and that’s why he cried every night.” 

“let’s take a quick 5 minute break and clear our head, alright?” the sound director doesn’t meet teddy’s eyes, either because he doesn’t want to or because he sympathizes, the singer doesn’t know and doesn’t linger around for long enough to find out. he excuses himself and immediately makes his way to the bathroom, frustration coating his every step as he arrives in the vicinity of the sink and, while the faucet splashes his hands with cold water, teddy takes a long, hard look at himself in the mirror. it lasts but a few seconds and his expressions betrays nothing. it’s the same face he always sees while getting ready in the morning, the same bland stare he is familiar with save for the eyes, deep, dark brown and full of agitation, the sole mirror to his soul. teddy doesn’t like what he sees in them. he quickly dips his head, absent-mindedly washing his face before drying it, quickly making his way back to the recording booth afterwards.

he takes a big gulp of air before recording starts anew. this time teddy doesn’t feel as troubled as before though the previous good mood he’d sported previously doesn’t come back fully. the admonishing voice in the back of his head doesn’t seem to be present anymore, though he’s sure it’ll make a comeback soon enough. and so, without thinking too much about it, teddy delves into the task at hand with as steady a voice as he can muster, doing his best to deliver a good performance.

“one day, a voice inside him asked the cheerful dog, ‘hey, why don’t you cut off the leash and run away?’ the cheerful dog said ‘i’ve been tied up for way too long, so i forgot how to cut myself free.”

[teddyfmd]

fmdjace​:

as soon as teddy speaks back to him, there is a grin that pull onto jihoon lips as he looks around himself. there is a towel on the counter and that would do just well enough. he reaches for it, squeezes it into a bowl and throws it at the other, with his best intention to hit him. “listen here, don’t speak to the house owner like that, i will kick you out. i have the power here-” he says, but he doesn’t mean it. it was a funny comment from the other, jihoon did like some banter. he enjoyed these types of evenings. 

however, the second and third jab a him make him gasp dramatically, hand covering his mouth “i will throw a mug at you next, how ungrateful!” jihoon says, being oddly overdramatic. maybe it was just having teddy over, or maybe it was because they were both speaking english right now, but he couldn’t tell. so he turns around and flips the switch to the kettle before focusing on finding good enough mugs to use for the tea. “i’m gonna be nice and not give you my mean mugs, might end up making you cry.” jihoon explains as he pulls out two matching blue mugs from his cup shelve, followed by the teabags from another shelve.

“black tea? chamomile tea? green tea? ugh…“ he pauses for a second, squinting at another box of tea he was holding “i guess blueberries and mint? i’m gonna be having black with some milk, what do you want?“ the dancer finishes, turning around to look at teddy, holding up more than just four different packs of tea “i got even more if you wanna come check them out.“

when jihoon’s weapon of choice comes toward him, teddy barely has a chance to dodge. he turns his head just in time for the towel to reach the side of his face and even though it doesn’t hurt, the impact is enough to bring a loud whine out of his mouth in response. “jesus, you’re always so mean to me, i do nothing but grace you with my wonderful presence all day and this is the thanks i get!” granted, teddy knows he more or less deserved that, but the information does nothing to alleviate the offended pout that springs to life on his face.

“cry? me?! ha! that’s preposterous, i never cry, ever.” if the recipient of that reply was any other person, he might have had a chance at credibility, maybe they would have believed teddy to be a stone cold person that rarely shows his emotions. but since the one he’s talking to is jihoon, the person that has experienced more than half of his bad days, the person that saw him cry, either overtly or out in the open, more times than he has fingers to count with, the statement falls flat. he doesn’t dwell on it however, more than aware of their shared history, and instead gets up on his feet, joining jihoon in his quest for a warm cup of tea. 

the sight that welcomes teddy as he steps near his friend is enough to elicit a loud cackle out of his mouth. “oh god, are you a closeted hoarder?” he examines the packs in jihoon’s hold and, vaguely remembering one of the rapper’s earlier suggestions, he speaks again. “blueberries and mint sounds good i think, never had it before.” a second passes before the thought of giving a helping hand strikes him and with that being the driving force, teddy extends his arms in preparation, grabbing a couple of the packs. “here, let me help. it’s the least i can do for my amazing host or whatever.” 

[teddyfmd]

gyujeongfmd​:

quit because it fucks him up?

there’s a million and one reasons gyujeong can retaliate with. maybe, a cigarette isn’t as bad as getting struck by lightening. or maybe, a cigarette can’t be as bad as binding chance and hoping he won’t get mauled by a green bus in some freak accident. or maybe, he doesn’t give a fuck enough that his body feels like it’s already relegated to some afterlife where he’s an aimless zombie, dragging his steps one by one, already suffocating from the monotony life always seems to haul.

it’s probably the last option.

and the cigarette balanced between his lips already feels like some salvation, sweet like candy he can almost taste — if only, it were lit.

so, he takes a step outside, motioning follow through, with a quick nod over and no sense of cordiality embedded in his dead-pan stare and huff. one flicker of the light, and the shadows of the flame already pave the way with the words he holds on the tip of his tongue.

“yeah?” he inhales, slowly pulling the smoke as if it’d been some last-ditch effort at a breath of fresh air. “let’s be logical here, and do some math. i’m thirty, the big three-oh.” the smoke dissipates with each syllable, and the only thing he offers to accompany it? an i don’t give a fuck nonchalance that drums through the monotones of his voice. “i’ve been working for gold star officially since i was about 19, give or take a few months. so, for about eleven years i’ve been balancing this whole smoking and dancing on stage thing — and it hasn’t fucked me up yet.” one last shrug at a morsel of an attempt to feign a sense of formality, and he exhales once more.

“so, what’s the harm in pushing my limits? especially if it means getting closer for a reason gold star could drop me.”

teddy steps out after the dancer, the weight of the door falling in place behind him before he makes to follow the familiar scent of cigarette smoke. a dozen memories resurface as he does so, of a darkness so overwhelming that the only thing he could cling to was the calming pursuit of all that smoking entailed, of a release coming from it that was so sweet and so liberating that it represented the only respite he’d had back then, before quantum debuted. before he’d lost contact with her and before his life had lost a little of what meaning it had. 

belatedly, teddy realises that gyujeong is addressing him and he quickly forgoes the destructive train of thought in favor of focusing all his attention on his senior. 

“you’ve got a point.” he admits as soon as he’s had a moment to think it over, and even if he doesn’t agree, not completely, teddy can appreciate the logic behind it because he recognizes it in himself. “i mean, working in the industry for so long...you’re bound to need something to keep you afloat, right?” a moment passes as his mind goes back to that cursed place, a moment in which teddy does his best not to get lost in for fear that he will soon cave to the pressure and the promise it presents.

it’s with a heavy sigh that he continues to reply, prompted by nothing more than simple tiredness tinged with something that he’s doing his best to ignore or so he’d like to fool himself. “but not yet doesn’t mean it won’t at some point.” 

“think of it like this, gold star doesn’t give a shit about your health, they don’t care as long as you can hold it together while the public has its eyes on you so your reputation, and theirs by extension, is intact. but it’s your body and your life, and even if they don’t care, well...you should.”

[teddyfmd]

fmdrioh·:

For a brief moment, Rioh worries that he’s coming across as desperate. It’s no secret that he’s touch-starved, and he tries not to be too selfish when it comes to contact with other people, but being here in such close proximity to Teddy is making him act in ways he’s not used to; his mind and body on autopilot as he navigates the motions in these foreign, yet gorgeously rosy, waters. He feels like the tide of infatuation is rising higher and higher, and the more dangerously close it gets to him, the more he feels his inhibitions dissipate. Instead of running from the waves, he’s anticipating them crashing into him, and the instant his waist is tugged in close and his kissing cherries are plucked by Teddy’s intoxicating mouth, he’s slipped off of his feet and dragged into the water — allowing it to surround him as he reaches his arms up to rest upon the breadth of his senior’s shoulders. He stands on the tips of his toes, trying to match Teddy’s height so that the difference between them doesn’t make things awkward, and all the while, his heart pounds intensely against his chest; threatening to leap from his person and sink into the man that’s clutching onto him so possessively. Rioh loves how passionately he’s being held — it drives him wild.

However, his love-driven stupor only continues to spike when their tongues are introduced to one another. Lanky limbs begin to quiver with a desire that he’s never felt before; making him feel deeply inexperienced. Though, instead of following that train of thought, he shuts his eyes even harder and allows himself to explore; pressing forward for more after he’s teased. “Mm,” he hums, feeling inebriated from the embrace alone. After a few moments, he pulls back — lashes fluttering open to behold the beauty of the man before him. “Wow…” He coos, his cheeks flushed and his body feeling light as air. The momentary silence is broken only milliseconds later when the shorter of the two begins to chuckle out of giddiness — trying to keep his composure and remain cool so he doesn’t present himself as overly lame. “You’re really good at that… like, too good at that…” Rioh admits, eyes glancing at the ground out of nervousness before peering upwards again. It’s then when he gets an idea, and silently, he uncurls himself from his guest, but keeps connected to him by holding onto his hand — slowly guiding him over to the couch present in his living room.

He’s not used to taking charge in situations like this, and might prefer if Teddy takes the driver’s seat later, but for now, he wants to kick things up a notch; his motions causing his company to fall back onto the lush cushions behind them, and as gracefully as possible, Rioh straddles him — backside on Teddy’s lap as he leans in and stamps a kiss onto his senior’s forehead. “I, uh — don’t really know what I’m doing, but what I do know is that I want more…” He speaks softly, a deep breath following suit as he reconnects their lips for a quick peck. “Can I have more?”

it’s not until rioh pulls back, breaking their kiss in the most endearing way possible that teddy remembers he is not in a dream, that this time his mind is not conjuring scenarios to help him fall asleep at night but rather, this is reality, their previous actions something he’s been more or less obsessing over for a while now. a smile tugs at his lips in reply to the younger’s compliment, small and shy, one that he doesn’t make any effort to subdue because he doesn’t see the need to, truth be told. though he doesn’t immediately offer a response, teddy notices the way rioh averts his gaze. it’s quick and he doesn’t think he would have caught it in any other circumstances but before he can inquire about it and quell his rapidly growing anxiety, he finds himself being guided around the apartment by the younger, their hands wrapped together still as he follows not unlike a puppy that refuses to be separated from its master. a blur of confusion accompanies the singer as he falls back onto the couch but it quickly subsides when rioh takes his rightful place on teddy’s lap, his arms instinctively finding purchase on the younger’s lower back. 

there’s a tension in the air that he is becoming painfully aware of, one that has been present even before they first kissed, one that, as it did only moments ago, now too it prompts teddy to reciprocate the pecks he’s so graciously been given with a fully fledged kiss of his own. so he does just that, his hand gently cupping rioh’s nape as he brings the dancer closer, their lips reuniting once again. it’s short and sweet, no tongues involved this time and no matter how much teddy would like to linger and explore he stops himself short, pulling back just the slightest bit to offer a belated reply. “you can, you can have everything rioh, always.” the words come out heavy around the lump in his throat but with something in the tone that resembles an obvious adoration, then he offers a quick peck on the lips, pulls back with a mischievous grin and starts trailing kisses down rioh’s neck. they’re chaste and he’s taking his time with them, one touch of the lips on the shorter’s jaw, another at the junction of his neck and shoulder as teddy employs the help of his hand to stretch the collar of the garment for better reach. then he retreats yet again, his mouth searching for and finding rioh’s just as easily as it did the first time, though now it’s easier to indulge in the flavor of it with his tongue.

it’s natural, instinctual even, the way his hands push beyond the barrier of rioh’s clothes, freely exploring the skin, tracing his fingernails along it as gently as possible before allowing them to travel south and, well, indulging in simple pleasures has always been teddy’s strong suit. he allows one of them to cup his crush’s backside, tentative at first, unsure about how the contact would be received before doing the same thing in the front, abandoning the kiss in favor of peering over rioh’s face for any sign that his actions are not welcome and that he should stop. “is this alright?”

[songmingki]

Wanted special 9 | Mingi