Ex-tective Slander's Underground Agency (Pizza Tower AU heavily based on Evil Peppino) blog run by @uhoh-peppinos [email protected] Current Location: New Orleans, LA Info: Ted J. Slander May 24th, 19?? (34 yrs) Cis Aro-Bisexual | He/Him (of Cajun French + Mexican Descent) Partner: Talia "Rach" R. Lamb May 23th, 19?? (31 yrs) Cis Pansexual | She/Her (of Creole Descent) - - - - Target: "Pino Bowtie Pasta" Unknown (estimated 35 yrs or older) Cis Bisexual | He/Him (of Italian Descent) The local frozen pizza factory he owns is just a cover... I know it... Associates: Cleveland "Slim" Branch (aka Cleave) Unknown (estimated 35 yrs or older) He/Him A close hand for Mr. Pasta; quite literally. He's tasked with inventing new prosthetic hands for Pino to use (and the creator behind his current... pizza cutter adorn. Seems a bit silly.) I believe he is also seen as Pino's money handler and manager. Phillip "Bells" Capsi Unknown (estimated late 20s / early 30s) He/Him Admittedly, I'm unsure what this brute's been hired for. Perhaps he's just that, but he seems a bit cowardly - or not much one for physical fights. Maybe doesn't want to dirty himself, or wreck his... "pretty face?" (Not sure how the expression goes...) "Aimless" Unknown (estimated mid to late 30s) He/Him Irony to his nickname, he is a rather skilled marksman; an alleged assassin(?)* hired by Pino. I have only ever seen him once, and I am frankly thankful to have dodged him. (Without any troubles - he's never literally fired at me.) (*I've since done a bit of research and turns out Aimless is a hitman; rumored to be retired. But what business would he have with Pasta...? If he's no longer in that business... and on top of that, I've never known Pino to actively target anyone to kill them. Not himself...) - - - - Only Outside Witness So Far: Tony "Crusty" Napoli Unknown (estimated early 30s) He/Him
Claims to be under debt to Pino by quite a lot, but it appears to be willingly...? He is the only proof I have, but he slips away often. And he does not like revealing too much; already being on Pino's bad side enough, it seems. Every time I have him in custody, he manages to slip away. I wish he'd understand I'm trying to help him...
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If there is any more information we should know, or anything else I could help you with; feel free to file in. I will get to you as soon as possible.
(Ask Box is Open)
[Last Updated: 9/10/23] // To Be Further Edited/Revamped as of [1/31/24]