✞︎✞︎✞︎

if you love me, keep it to yourself

[teethoverme]

how beautiful am i, for i am a collection of everyone i have ever loved. i am more than me, i am you

[teethoverme]

i will remain gentle despite the harshness i face, for i refuse to become the thing that causes me such pain

[teethoverme]

i want to scoop up the pain from inside my chest and shove it down your throat. how do you like the taste of your own words seering you from the inside out? does the bitterness on your tongue fill you with relief or guilt?

[teethoverme]

[teethoverme]

suddenly, i realise i’ve forgotten the sound of your voice and every brick i’ve built to keep you out turns to ashes as quick as the thought comes and goes. what i would give to hear love fall from your lips one last time.

[teethoverme]

my stomach churns with uncertainty and my head aches from suppressed love that has nowhere to go, only then do i notice i’ve thought about you too much today

[teethoverme]

and i think the worst part is i know you lied. but my love, oh my love for you is stronger than i can bare and the shame i carry for loving someone as selfish as you will never leave my bones. my love, you will never leave my hollow bones.

[teethoverme]

[teethoverme]

do you feel the disappointment i do or am i just insignificant enough that my absence has no place in your life?

[teethoverme]

one day you will miss me when my absence lingers too long, when you have no shoulder to cry on, when everyone is fed up just as i am now. you’re all alone, just the way you asked for. isn’t this what you asked for?

[teethoverme]

i hope you think of me when you hear that song you never learned the name of, watch that movie you’d hear me talk about countless times, smell that perfume i wore on special occasions, feel the cotton that was the same as the hoodie i wore year round. i hope you think of me. i hope you miss me. do you miss me?

[teethoverme]

how i wish to be selfish. how i wish to think of myself and not grimace at the reality for once. how i wish to be less empathetic, feeling everything you do and so much more. god how i wish.

[teethoverme]

i want to scoop up the pain from inside my chest and shove it down your throat. how do you like the taste of your own words seering you from the inside out? does the bitterness on your tongue fill you with relief or guilt?

[teethoverme]

tossed aside like used tissues yet yours are full of shame and mine are full of regret. we are not so different you and i, for we both remain comfortable in our hurt.

[teethoverme]

apologising for being yourself when you wish to be anyone else in the world is a feeling i wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy.

[teethoverme]

i make myself smaller in every way and yet you still say i’m too big.

too heavy.

too loud.

too rough.

will i ever be enough?

or will i forever be known as the girl that’s always just too much?

[teethoverme]

the weight of the love i carry for u is unbearable on my soul but still, with bloodied feet and limbs aching, i keep my pace steady to assure your healing is uninterrupted and untouched by another.